My Hero

Chapter Two

Carlisle's POV

It was 8.46am and I stood completely still, staring out of the open window with the light breeze blowing my medical coat behind me. The air was a pleasant feeling against my cold skin and I sighed to myself once more, the sound barely audible.

Completely lost in my thoughts, I was just glancing up at the different clouds and watching them moving slowly across the sky, when I suddenly felt a pair of hands slither around my shoulders with an alarmingly tight grip. In surprise, I turned around quickly to see Esme smiling at me and I forced a hard smile back.

Surely she would have noticed my falseness?

"Good morning," she said pleasantly, kissing me with her soft lips. I tried to stop my body's negative reaction when she did this, but I couldn't quite manage it.

"Looks like it's going to rain today, again," she added as I pulled away from her and pretended to gather together some equipment. She seemed oblivious to my forced actions, once again being unobservant of somebody who she was supposed to know best.

How had this happened?

"Hmm," I answered noncommitally.

"Maybe I could start redesigning our bedroom today," she pondered after a brief silence. "It's about time we had a change. I'm rather fond of-"

I stopped listening to her enthusiastic words and focused on the persistent voice in my head, telling me that this was all so very wrong. Perhaps I was just going through some odd feelings at that moment; work was becoming stressful, that was probably a factor. All relationships had tough days, maybe this was just one of them.

If only I could truly believe that.

I zipped up my medical bag and whipped around to face her. After that, I nodded, as though I had just absorbed whatever it was she had said, and headed swiftly towards the door.

"I need to go, sorry, I'm running quite late," I told her, knowing that it wasn't the truth at all. Even the excuse sounded abrupt to myself, but Esme didn't seem to notice.

"Oh," her disappointed voice called from behind and I felt another twinge of guilt. "Bye, then! See you later, darling."

I didn't reply as I stepped out briskly towards my Mercedes, struggling to keep to a human speed.

When I sat down on the leather seat, I suddenly felt all the wrong I was doing tumble over me like a tidal wave and I wondered just what I was turning into. I was already a monster... could I actually become any worse? Was that even possible?

I had to accept that I simply couldn't control my feelings any longer; I wasn't in love with Esme anymore.

I had tried to ignore this over the past few months, immersing myself with all kinds of activities that we did together. But, despite my efforts, I continuously began to realise that I no longer felt the same way; I never felt any passion towards her. The first time we'd met, I'd felt excitement and wanted to spend every second I had with her.

We were almost like strangers now.

I couldn't do anything to hurt her, though; I could never forgive myself. Our family would be shattered if I revealed my true thoughts and feelings – I couldn't bear to think of anyone being upset because of me; it was terribly selfish.

The hospital stood in front of me suddenly - I was barely aware that I had even been driving; in normal circumstances that would have been extremely dangerous, but luckily I had enhanced senses so didn't have to worry - and I quickly parked into my allocated spot, determined to just stop pondering everything. Sometimes it was a blessing to be capable of several thoughts at once, but now it was just a curse.

The parking lot was relatively empty when I arrived and I swiftly glanced at my watch; 8.55am.

I was early. Too early. I had way too much time to think on my hands and that wasn't good.

I stood up briskly and stepped out of my car before I could let anything else consume me. I decided to go for a run through the woods, green and murky, trying to clear the worried thoughts in my head.

It didn't work.

An hour later, I walked through the hospital doors to be greeted with plenty of the usual stares and smiles. It should be flattering, but judging from the type of things I've been informed about that are said about me... it's enough to make anybody's eyes water.

I tried my best to politely smile back at them, but I couldn't ignore the whispers circulating around like a hissing snake: I heard the name Bella Swan several times and I was intrigued to meet this new person, whoever she was.

After I made it to my ward and placed down my medical bag on my desk, I sat down completely still on my chair with my head in my hands, trying to mentally prepare myself for the day ahead. I was worried that I might not be in the right state of mind to work, but I didn't get a change to really consider that because, only a few moments later, I heard a quick tap on the door and a head of blonde hair appeared in the space.

"Dr Cullen, we need you immediately, somebody's come in after a serious car accident, it's not pretty," she said in a rushed voice, wincing as she explained.

By the time Laura, one of the nurses, had finished, I was already by her side and rushing down the corridor, rubbing my eyes along the way.

It wasn't pleasant. In fact, it was painful to look at, even despite my years of experience with this type of emergency.

The poor, injured man lay helplessly on the operating table, covered in bruises and cuts. The blood didn't bother me at all, it was just a smell in the background; I just couldn't help focusing on the pained expression on his face. He was still conscious, writhing uncontrollably and gasping in agony. I walked over to him and his eyes locked onto mine.

"Please..." he whispered, "Please help me... I can't leave my... my children..."

His eyes closed suddenly and I felt an overwhelming passion to save his life. His family needed him; I would do whatever it took to save him.

I began stitching his wounds and scanning his body for breakages. This was going to be a long hour, but I would do all that I could.

It was certainly the distraction I needed.

The man remained unconscious but stable as the heart monitor worked steadily beside him. I felt flooded with relief when his family made it to his side, his wife clutching his hand and his two young children sitting beside him. He would wake up soon and be greeted by their happy faces, and that was all that mattered.

He'd been saved. The sanctity of a human life was something that I always had in mind. In fact, my whole life revolved around that fact.

I slowly walked away down the corridor and began making my way up the stairs. The situation with Esme was slowly creeping back into my mind and I desperately needed something else to think about.

It might have been self-centred of me, but I couldn't live like that. It wasn't right.

Without warning, though, I suddenly became alert to the delicate sound of a foot slipping, and I soon saw a woman falling uncontrollably through the air. I rushed up quickly - glad that nobody seemed to notice my unnatural speed - and held out my hands ready to steady her. She fell into me with considerable force; my first thought was that I hoped she hadn't injured herself.

I listened to the papers rustling quietly, the noise distinct and irritating, as they slowly fell to the floor. The woman against me had her eyes closed tight and, when she pulled back and opened them to look at me, I felt like everything around me didn't matter; it was just us two in a world of our own. How did she have that effect after less than a minute?

Her eyes were beautiful; they were a warm brown with hints of hazel and they shone brightly in the light. There was a hidden emotion and depth trapped in them as well, something I couldn't quite place. But, nevertheless, I felt like I could become lost in them, they were so full of expression and beauty.

My own eyes trailed across her face, which was equally as breathtaking. Her skin was pale, just like mine, but it glowed and seemed to be perfectly clear. Her hair was a similar colour to her eyes, and had a subtle wave to it. It lay neatly past her shoulders and I noticed how the blood began flooding her cheeks, filling them with a wonderful pink glow. It took me a brief moment to remember where I was.

I saw her blinking irresistibly; the expression on her face warmed my still heart. A true smile spread across my face for the first time in months, shocking me completely.

The woman slowly knelt down and began hastily gathering her papers. I copied her, crouching down to her face her, and I was suddenly hit with her alluring scent; it was beautiful, again, like an array of fresh flowers. I found myself intoxicated, intrigued and curious at my own strange actions.

It was dangerous to get this close to humans...

Ignoring the persistent voice in my head, I realised that my eyes were still on her face, so I unwillingly averted them to the papers, afraid that I might start staring. My throat was strangely tight, but I managed to force some words out.

"Are you alright?" I asked and watched as her eyes trailed to my face.

"Yes, thank y-you," she replied slowly in an incredibly soft voice. Her slight stammer alarmed me; was she scared? I couldn't blame her really, but the thought was horrible. She paused for a moment and added, "Thanks for, uh, saving me."

I laughed and managed to say that it was no problem. I longed to talk to her more and more and this scared me somewhere deep down. My eyes darted uncontrollably to her name tag. Everything made a bit more sense.

"Ah, you must be Bella Swan, the newcomer," I smiled, finding that I was forgetting most of my troubles. It was amazing how at ease I was with her; it truly surprised me.

"Gosh, you must be psychic," she said jokingly.

"I'm Dr Cullen," I replied, at a loss of what else to say without sounding too foolish.

She remained silent for a few moments, jerkily gathering her documents together. I realised with a pang of dismay that I may have intimidated her. Or, as I suspected earlier, scared her... I remembered the incident and became concerned about her state.

"Did you hurt yourself? You hit me pretty hard," I asked, scanning her face for any signs.

I noticed her wincing as I mentioned the word hit. She shrugged offhandedly as a response. "Hmm, yeah my arm hurts a little, but it'll be fine," she said and suddenly added, "Oh, sorry, did I hurt you?"

My thoughts became jumbled by her caring nature; she was thinking of me. I frowned; someone as thoughtful as her simply couldn't exist, it was... impossible. I glanced at her concerned face and chuckled. "No, not at all." It wasn't like that would ever happen.

I handed her the papers and locked eye contact for a brief moment. A cough came out of nowhere and I realised that John Adams was watching us with annoyed eyes. I sighed and stood up, feeling nothing but frustration.

"Oh, sorry," she said, fumbling around slightly. "Um, thanks again, Dr Cullen."

The way she murmured my name did strange thing to me.

She disappeared too soon, leaving me standing there dumbfounded and completely stunned. I wanted to see her wonderful face one more time... just the once more...

Before I could let my feelings take over, however, I remembered Esme at home with our adopted children, and the frown reappeared on my face. Before long the lines would become permanent, impossible to remove.

I sighed heavily and stepped back to my ward to complete the day's work, trying not to dwell on what had happened.

I failed at that.

"Carlisle?"

A familiar voice called me when I was back home later and I turned to see Edward smiling at me. We were both in the garden and the chilly evening breeze whipped our clothes. After seeing him - our vision unaffected by the lack of light - an automatic smile spread across my own face to match his.

"Yes, son?" I said, placing my hand on his shoulder. "Do you need something?"

"You could say that. I need to ask you about something... a matter that's been bothering me for some time," he said, eyeing me carefully. I felt immediately anxious and hoped he didn't feel this.

"Then it needs to be discussed if it's been worrying you. Let's have a walk, that might help."

As we headed through the forest, avoiding trees without much effort, he suddenly stopped and faced me. The moonlight hit his face and I could see the fear in his eyes. It pained me greatly.

"Carlisle," he said, in a grave voice, "Has something happened between yourself and Esme?"

I tried to hide the sudden worry that consumed me. Edward was observant; I should have known he'd notice something eventually.

"What makes you think that?" I replied, as calmly as I could manage. My response wasn't a lie.

He shrugged and leant back against a tree behind him; the branches shivered in the wind. "You just don't seem to be as close to her lately. I'd like to be made aware if anything is going to change."

I found a quick excuse, feeling awful. "Work has been difficult lately, son." It was during times like these I was glad Edward's mind-reading ability only worked on humans.

He nodded. "Maybe you need some time off," he suggested. "You deserve a break."

I tried to ignore my sudden guilt. "Maybe," I replied. "But it only seems fair that, considering I have enhanced abilities, I should use them as much as possible to save lives. It almost makes what we are acceptable."

He looked at me disapprovingly. "Acceptable? Carlisle, you've lived for centuries. I thought you no longer felt any guilt or ashamed of what you are?"

I just stared back at him, my eyes vacant.

"Anyway, thank you for easing my worry," he said after forty five seconds of silence. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, son."

We turned back to the house in the darkness, and my thoughts turned uncontrollably back to Bella Swan without warning. I was just beginning to picture her beautiful face clearly once again, when Esme's voice penetrated my vision.

I couldn't help wishing that it would be a different voice calling for me, and that pained me deeply.