A Random Random Story of Randomness

By: Foxy18

Ch. 5

It turns out, Fury hadn't actually died while being crushed by Armstrong's exceedingly muscular posterior. He had, however, suffered from excessive internal bleeding. This was caused partly by a punctured liver, two ruptured kidneys, a crushed bladder, and an impaled lung.

The full extent of his injuries are still unknown.

Feeling partly responsible for Fury's current condition, Armstrong and the gang decided to visit him in intensive care . . . three months after he was admitted.

Mustang sauntered into the recovery room, casually glancing at the life support system. "Wazzap, Feurmiester! Still got that protruding rib-thing going on, ya freak?"

Fury groaned.

Winry backed into the room, dragging a rather large flower reef with her. It got stuck in the door frame, blocking the way of Ed and Al, who were slightly upset about it.

"Get that piece of flowery crap out of my fucking way, you cock sucking, cum guzzling, carpet munching, clit licking, atom splitting, earth shaking, donkey riding, sleet drinking, tart chewing, titty kicking lesbian dyke whore ass-bandit!" Ed screamed.

"Hold your god damned horses, leprechaun!" Winry yelled as she pulled Fury's floral gift from the doorway.

Al, being his normal metal self once again, swiftly shoved Ed, Winry, and the reef through the entrance with a mighty blow to Ed's head.

Fury coughed.

"So," Began Armstrong. "Err . . . Sorry about crushing most, if not all, of your internal organs there, Fury. Sometimes I just don't know the strength of my own buttocks."

Fury tilted his head slightly.

"Oh, so you forgive me?" Armstrong asked. "Fantastic! Lesse what we've got here. I brought some chocolates. In fact, they're homemade! This particular recipe has been passed down the Armstrong family for generations!" He tossed the chocolates onto Fury's bed. "Hope your digestive system is working properly again!"

Just then, Havoc entered the room.

"Finally!" Winry exclaimed. "We haven't seen you the entire story, you nicotine addicted sex god."

"So, Riza's prego." Havoc announced.

All jaws dropped.

Mustang glared. "Is it Kikyo's child?" He began pacing the room. "I knew it! I knew that bitch wouldn't use protection!"

"Who?" Havoc raised a brow. "Nah, it's mine!"

All jaws dropped . . . Again.

"You fuck!" Mustang went for Havoc's throat. "I can't believe you! I should've never trusted you to bring Riza home after she jumped out of the car, breaking three of her five limbs!"

Havoc dove, dodging Mustangs attack and tripping over one of the life support systems many vital cords in the process.

Fury flat-lined.

"It couldn't be helped, 'Stang!" Havoc shouted. "We're in love and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"You bastard!" Mustang yelled. "You knew I secretly loved her, hiding it from her by dating various women to avoid any emotional vulnerability!"

Armstrong squealed. "I thought you loved me, Mustang!"

"That was a one time thing!" He declared.

"What about me!" Ed shouted.

"That isn't the issue here!" Mustang spat. "I'm talking about Riza being impregnated by this cigarette smoking blond hunk of a man."

"All right, I'll admit it . . ." Jean cried. "I'm not the only potential father. There's also the possibility that Scar knocked her up."

"What!"

"Or Farman . . . or Breda . . . or Hughes."

"Hughes is dead!"

"Hey, hey!" Winry interrupted. "There's nothing wrong with a little necrophilic lovin'!"

"Right . . ." Havoc continued. "But Riza assured me that it's probably my lovechild. I mean, Scar, Breda, Hughes, and Farman were just a one time thing, but Riza and I? We've been going nice and strong for like, three years now!"

Roy punched Jean and left the room.

Ed bounded gleefully into the recovery room with a handful of needles. "Hey, guys! Free morphine!"

Havoc ran up to Ed, swiftly kicking him in the nuts. "That's bad for the baby, jack ass!"

Ed keeled over. "It hurts so good! Do it again!"

"Only if you pay me." Jean glared. "Gotta make money for the new family!"

Ed and Jean left the room.

Fury was still flat-lining, slowly beginning to die from the inside out.

Fin:

This story's losing it's touch . . .

Next chapter, discover who the real father of Riza's child is! ZOMG!1