My Hero

Chapter Five

(One Month Later)

Bella's POV

My eyes forced themselves open and, gradually, my senses came back to me. I could see the dim light coming through the old curtains and smell the rotten stench of last night's takeaway. I could feel Mark's warm arms locked around me and the pain which shot through my legs and arms was excruciating. I didn't want to see what sort of bruises I had this time around.

He'd been a lot worse for the past month, ever since I came home late after the traffic jam four weeks ago. It felt like such a long time since that had happened and it was like it had triggered something in him.

I'd barely seen Dr Cullen since then.

Mark was becoming more violent and, as a result, the fatigue which attacked me was relentless, and I took many days off work from sickness.

I desperately wanted to do something to get back onto good grounds with Dr Cullen. The frustration of being unable to do so was enough to make me want to cry.

I was pinned down to the bed and staring out at the darkness, with tears trailing desperately down my cheeks. I had to go into work today, but I felt sore all over. Thinking of how rough he was last night was enough to-

It was then that I felt a sudden pressure on my stomach out of nowhere. I desperately untangled myself from Mark's grip and rushed for the bathroom, tripping along the way. My hands gripped the cold toilet seat as my body shook and nausea rushed through me. I retched and shuddered, feeling completely exhausted and drained after vomiting up the contents of my empty stomach.

What he was doing physically sickened me.

I staggered upwards, washing my mouth out with water and examined my reflection in the mirror. My eyes trailed downwards to the fresh, purple bruises on my pale skin and I winced in disgust. The worst area was my legs, closely followed by my arms... but I did deserve it; I was late home that one time, after all.

But surely he'd gotten over that now?

To stop myself from thinking much further, I opened a cabinet and began fishing through my makeup to do the usual covering up job. I was half asleep and felt dizzy with illness, but I persisted onwards, pasting over the ugly marks.

When I'd finished, I put everything carefully back into their right places. Just as I was about to close the door, though, I caught sight of an unused pack of sanitary towels and stood there staring for a very long time.

When had my last period been?

I sat on the toilet seat, thinking to myself desperately. I genuinely couldn't remember my last cycle and it was enough to make my body shake.

Maybe I was just getting forgetful?

But suddenly my body ran cold as the memories from that one night came flooding back. After I came back from the jam, Mark had been angry and led me up to the bedroom. Then he'd...

I clutched my stomach instinctively, feeling horrified. After a moment of shock, I rushed out to get changed, without bothering him, and headed out towards the pharmacy.

How had I been so stupid? I was a doctor for Christ's sake.

Carlisle's POV

I can still remember the night Esme and I broke up a month ago very clearly in my memory. It kept replaying several times each day, and I couldn't stop it.

She continued looking at me expectantly and I felt the truth ready to escape. Surely I could tell her? It would save so much pain and I could finally be the honest man I'd prided myself on in the past.

I took a deep breath and the words flowed out.

"Esme-" I began, "I... I... it's really hard for me to tell you this, but..." I sighed. "I don't feel... the same way about you anymore."

I stared at my hands as I continued, wincing along the way. "I'm sorry, but I... I can't ignore it anymore..." I glanced upwards and her face was full of heartbreak. I tried to contain the guilt boiling away, but couldn't manage it.

"I'm living a lie, Esme," I added helplessly.

She said nothing for a long time and then suddenly raised her dead eyes to mine. The look in them would stay with me for the rest of my life.

"There's someone else," she stated and I frowned, completely surprised.

"No... no," I lied. "I would never do that to you, you know that!"

"Wouldn't you?" she snapped, standing up abruptly.

"Esme," I said desperately. "Please, I didn't want it to end this way! Can we at least still be friends?" No response. "Please… please don't act like this."

She turned away from me. "What about our children?" Her voice was quiet and broken and I felt another stab of guilt. I could see her shoulders shaking as she sobbed invisible tears. "Our adopted children who we took in and loved as a clan? You made me what I am and now you've done this!"

None of us said anything for a long time and I heard the distant rustle of the leaves blowing in the wind.

"I'm leaving, Carlisle, I'm clearly not wanted around her anymore," she said in a cold voice, throwing her hands up in the air. "You can sort out this mess yourself! It'll be interesting to see how you cope."

Before I could reply, she was running away from me, darting out into the forest at lightning speed. I remained motionless, completely dazed, when Alice and Edward entered the room.

"Carlisle," Alice breathed with a pained face, "what's going on?"

Bella's POV

I sat back on the toilet seat, waiting impatiently for the test to display its results. I wrinkled my nose at the stale odour of my vomit, but sat still, feeling anxious beyond belief. I just prayed Mark wouldn't walk in now...

When I'd bought the product at the pharmacy, the woman behind the counter had actually asked me if I was okay. That meant that I must have looked wildly erratic and dazed, mainly because I was.

I couldn't believe this was happening.

The colour slowly began to develop on the stick and I stood up in anticipation. As I glanced down at the result, I felt everything slowly crumble around me. I blinked several times, checking my eyesight and, not wanting to believe it, I tried another test.

It was the same result.

No, this couldn't be happening... not now... not with him...

The positive pregnancy test in my hand fell to the floor, joining the other one and clattering against the tiles.

"No..." I whispered, slowly sinking down the wall onto the floor. "No..."

I sat cross legged on the tiles, my body shaking with hysteria. Why hadn't I suspected something before? All the signs were there...

I was pregnant, with Mark's child.

With Mark's child.

How had this happened?

I began crying uncontrollably, already considering the impossible choices I had to make. Should I tell him and risk him becoming angry and violent? Or should I keep it a secret and wait to see what happens?

I couldn't abort it... that was never even an option. Killing innocent life, it made me shiver. All life was special, even if it was created by him.

If he knew and didn't like it, though... I shuddered uncontrollably.

If he didn't know and eventually found out...

I didn't know what to do; I had never felt so alone in my entire life.

I suddenly felt an intense longing to see Dr Cullen – when I was around him my troubles seemed to melt away and seem so insignificant. But then again, I wasn't entirely sure if he liked me, and risking seeing him would probably cause me more pain. It would be even more raw considering the time we'd been apart.

I stood slowly up and looked at myself in the mirror. I began to control my breathing and headed out the bathroom to get changed for work. Maybe it could help me ignore my troubles.

Maybe.

Carlisle's POV

I stood frozen on the spot, my eyes travelling from each face. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper had followed after Edward and Alice, and now I felt slightly intimidated, surrounded by all these expectant faces.

I couldn't do anything but tell them the truth; it wouldn't be wise to spin another web of lies.

"E-Esme and I have... we've separated," I said quietly and waited for the onslaught.

Rosalie was the first to speak. "What? Why?" Her face was angry and full of disbelief.

Alice had her eyes closed, her ability to see the future coming into play, and she suddenly whispered, "Wait, I see Esme running away... where's she going?"

"Why, Carlisle?" Edward asked, his eyes on me. "I thought you loved her! We only talked about this a few weeks ago and you said everything was fine."

"Aw man, Carlisle!" Emmett groaned. "You were good together! What went wrong?"

I closed my eyes and breathed slowly. I reopened them and saw Alice's hand on my shoulder, her face sympathetic.

"I... I just don't feel the same way about her anymore," I admitted, staring at the pattern on the wallpaper. "I told her that... and she... she left. Without any warning. I don't know what she's going to do."

Everyone around me relaxed slightly and Jasper spoke. He'd clearly used his own ability to calm everybody, despite the circumstances.

"You did the right thing," he sighed. "You couldn't just stay with someone you no longer love."

I didn't say anything; I couldn't produce any words. It was Rosalie who made me look up.

"Is there someone else?" she said, her voice accusing and angry.

I stared at her, unwilling to speak. Could I tell them? Would they trust me?

"I don't know," I said quietly, heading towards the door. "I'm sorry, I'm going to work."

"In this state?" Alice said, following me. "Surely you wouldn't be able to concentrate!"

I shrugged on my coat. "I need something to take my mind off everything."

I disappeared out the door, knowing there was another stronger reason why I was heading towards the hospital. It had felt like Bella had been avoiding me for a long time now and I was determined to see her this time.

It never happened, though. She was off ill and my mood plummetted into new lows.

Bella's POV

I stepped into the hospital, my mind on nothing but my unborn child. I was pretty sure that I was pregnant; my medical training had ensured that, now that I took everything into consideration. I'd have to book an appointment with a doctor... strange, considering I was one myself. I'd have to buy all the baby clothes, gather savings, adjust my whole life...

Our house wasn't in the right state for a child; it would be too dangerous.

And what would Mark do? Surely he wouldn't hit our own child, like he does to me?

Everything was just wrong.

I sat down at my desk, grateful that nobody was bothering me today. I just wanted to get on with my work, take my mind off all my problems.

I needed, most of all, to see Dr Cullen today. We hadn't seen each other for way too long and I was determined to make things right today. It was like a hole was in my life and his presence would make everything better.

I gripped the desk tightly with my hands and fought back the tears which were gathering in my tired eyes. If someone saw me now, it would cause all sorts of gossip. Everybody already knew that I was fragile but this-

It was then that the man I'd been waiting for knocked at my door. He looked tired and troubled, but spoke to me in an irresistible voice. The shock of seeing him after all that time took my breath away and I just stared at him.

"Sorry to bother you, Miss Swan," he smiled, completely unaffected. "Are you free to assist me with a patient?"

Carlisle's POV

As soon as I saw her, my mind began racing. I knew that I'd done the right thing a month ago leaving Esme and the guilt of it all faded. I realised just how beautiful she was, and our time apart had intensified my feelings. It confused me, however, that she was clutching onto the desk with a distressed expression on her face. It seemed that nothing had changed in the four weeks for her.

I desperately needed to see her after the tough times at home; my sons and daughters had all taken it differently and I found myself just wanting to be in her company. On my way to the hospital I'd devised a plan to make contact with her, without fail. I was extremely lucky that a patient had approached me, and I happened to need an extra pair of hands...

She seemed bewildered at first, and then smiled shyly. Her hands relaxed and she placed them on her lap. I watched her every move.

"Yes," she eventually said, while standing up to face me. "I'd be happy to."

As she approached me I saw her beautiful eyes in the light and I staggered back slightly. It made me happier than it should do that she was assisting me, but I couldn't stop myself. Her presence was... intoxicating.

I'd missed this.

She stepped out into the corridor with me and I found myself allured by her wonderful scent. It was the most wonderful thing I'd smelt for a long time, and I couldn't help following her closely. I heard her heart fluttering erratically, and, when I glanced at her, her eyes were on the floor. I noticed how she was wearing longer clothing today; this shouldn't have annoyed me, but I found myself aggravated that I couldn't see more of her beautiful, clear skin. I shook my head and focused on where I was walking.

"Long time no see," I suddenly said to her and she glanced over, smiling.

"Yeah, anyone would think we've been avoiding each other."

I chuckled, loving the sound of her voice and its affect on me. Absence makes the heart grow fonder... "Weren't you away for sometime? Was there something wrong?"

I feared that I was being too personal, but she seemed unaffected. "I was unwell. But I'm good, now. I think."

She seemed incredibly uncertain, but I let it go and led her into a room, watching as she examined my patient. Her face was full of concern and concentration; it took me a few seconds to realise that I was staring. I blinked several times and sat opposite her, the tension building unbearably.

She looked up at me and I felt my body ache for her.

"I think she has concussion," she said, standing up. "What about you?"

I tried my hardest to focus on the patient. "Yes, I agree." I spoke to the lady in question. "I advise that you stay here over night, to avoid any further injury. It's merely a precaution."

I smiled at her and my eyes dragged up towards Bella, who was writing something on some paper. I watched as her eyes squinted while she wrote; I could see her lips pressing together as she concentrated.

I pulled my eyes away; it was too difficult to work with her around, she was driving me crazy... in an unbelievably good way.

"I'll just get some pillows for you," Bella said, and she walked out the room before I could say anything else. I ached for her to return as soon as she disappeared, and I gently helped the lady lie down on the bed to distract myself. She was looking at me quizzically.

"Ask her," she said, smiling widely.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, completely taken aback.

"It's clear that you have feelings for her, that other doctor, I mean," the lady said, gently sitting back. Bella returned with the pillows and gently placed them behind the woman's head. Sometimes, old women were just too observant, or were my actions that obvious? She winked and closed her eyes, leaving Bella and I standing beside each other. She coughed nervously.

"Shall we go for a c-coffee?" I suggested, knowing too well that I wasn't going to be drinking anything.

She looked at me, her face full of surprise. "Sure, that would be great. We could, uh... catch up?"

I smiled. "That sounds perfect."

Bella's POV

I was still in disbelief when Dr Cullen placed a cup of coffee in front of me; perhaps he liked me after all. He sat down opposite, keeping his eyes on me. I offered him a smile, which he returned.

"Aren't you having anything?" I asked, as he placed his hands on the table, twiddling his thumbs.

"No, I'm not thirsty," he smiled, and my heart began to race. He'd brought me here for my own needs? I struggled to keep the smile off my face.

I wondered if I should ask him about his worries; the troubled look had just returned to his face and it was bothering me. I took a deep breath and began blowing on my drink.

"How have you been, lately?" I asked, and he looked up with a raised eyebrow. "We don't seem to have spoken much."

"I've been alright, thank you," he answered slowly.

"Are you sure?" I persisted, without thinking. "You, uh, just seem a bit upset sometimes..."

He seemed surprised for a moment and I wondered if I'd overstepped the mark of friendly chat. I held my breath and watched as he exhaled.

"I've... I've just broken up with my wife a month or so ago," he said, keeping his eyes on the table. I knew that I shouldn't feel secretly thrilled, but that wouldn't stop me.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," I said quietly, locking eye contact as he looked up at me. His eyes were golden and shimmering in the light.

"Thank you," he replied, looking down. He opened his plump mouth to speak. "What about you? How have things been? If you don't mind me saying, you seem troubled today."

I swallowed the hot coffee too quickly in surprise and coughed as the liquid travelled down my throat. He looked towards me in concern and I waved my hands around wildly.

"Sorry, sorry," I gasped. "Throat... burning..."

He laughed. "That's why I stay away from coffee."

He chuckled to himself, as if it were some personal joke. I smiled, listening to the sound of his laughter. This moment was so perfect; we were getting along, despite what had happened before with the traffic jam, surely I couldn't ruin it with my problems... but then again, sharing them with someone like him would make me feel so much better...

"I..."

Would it be too much to say, seeing as we'd barely talked?

I paused, wondering what I was going to say next.