Shelby woke up with a small smile on her face. She had woken up like that ever since her and Scott made up. She didn't know why, but she liked that they were together. She didn't feel whole without him in her life and she was happy that things were as close to normal as they could be considering everything. She had her boyfriend back, her friends back, even some old rivalries back but there was still one thing missing from her life. One, very important thing.
Shelby still didn't know why she had been sent to Horizon and it had been nagging at her, in the back of her mind, for the last few days. Shelby wasn't stupid. She knew that people were sent to Horizon because they had problems. Everyone had their own story there. And she couldn't help but wondering what her story was. Not having a memory was really starting to bother her. She wanted to know about herself and she simply didn't.
"It's about time you got up," Juliet commented as she walked out of the bathroom.
Shelby was taken out of her thoughts by Juliet's words and she cast something close to a glare in Juliet's direction. Shelby and Juliet haven't exactly been on the best of terms. They fought over the stupidest things and Shelby thought Juliet was too childish and self centered.
"Whatever," Shelby dismissed and got out of her bed.
The group of girls walked into the kitchen to get their food and were instantly greeted by the guys. Shelby didn't mind, nor did any of the other Cliffhanger girls; they welcomed the boys with open arms. Shelby still couldn't change that lingering question from her mind; why was she sent to Horizon?
The group got their food and sat down at the table. Everyone made small talk and complained about the food but Shelby stayed pretty much quiet through out the meal. She looked around the table and stopped on everyone for a minute. Auggie, gang issues. Juliet, cutter. Daisy, alcoholic parents. Ezra, drugs. David, anger problems. Scott, drugs, Shelby thought as she noted everything she knew about the other students and what got them sent to Horizon. After circling the table, Shelby stopped on herself and didn't have an answer. A sigh of frustration left her lips and she leaned back in her chair.
"What wrong?" Scott asked, noting the fact that Shelby seemed upset about something or other.
"Nothing, I'm just thinking," Shelby answered honestly. She looked at Scott and saw him giving her worried eyes. "It's not important. Don't worry."
Shelby was more-or-less lying to Scott with the second thing but that was the first thing she thought of. She didn't want to bring up her mental problems with him. She had just gotten him back and she didn't want her own problems to lead him away again. Besides, she didn't even know if he knew why she was sent there. She didn't know if anyone knew.
"If you say so," Scott said with a shrug and dismissed it.
If Shelby didn't want to talk about whatever was going through her head, he wasn't going to push. But he also wasn't going to try and hide the fact that he was worried about her. He knew she was lying when she said it was nothing important but he wasn't going to press the matter. If and when Shelby was ready to talk to him about it, he would be there for her. Still, he didn't know how long it would be before his patience grew very thin. He was hoping she would open up to him before that happened.
Peter walked up to the Cliffhanger table to announce that group had been cancelled for that day. No one questioned it or cared about the reason, they were all just grateful for it. No one liked group.
"Hey, um, Peter, can I talk to you soon?" Shelby asked in a careful tone.
"Yeah. If you want we can now. You still have about half an hour before class," Peter answered. "What about kiddo?"
Shelby just shook her head, which let Peter know that she didn't want the whole table to know what about. Peter nodded in understanding and looked around at the other students.
"Well, come on, we'll go to my office," Peter said.
Shelby stood up and complied with Peter's offer. She was happy he wasn't being apprehensive about talking but she thought he might be once he found out what she wanted to know. She didn't think he would want her to really know. After all, they were all there for bad things that happened to them and Shelby seemed to have one of the worst stories. At least, she thought she did since no one would tell her about it when she had asked.
Peter and Shelby walked into Peter's office and Shelby sat down on the couch while Peter leaned onto his desk. He was watching her very carefully, as if trying to figure out her next move but he should have known that he couldn't do that. No one could do that with Shelby.
Shelby looked down at her hands before she looked up to Peter and saw him watching her. She looked back down and tried to think of how to ask her question. She didn't know how to approach it.
"Why am I here?" Shelby asked softly and looked back at Peter.
"What do you mean?" He asked calmly.
"I mean, why was I sent to Horizon? We were all sent here for our own reasons and our own problems. What's mine?"
"Shelby, do you really want to know about your past?" Peter asked calmly.
"I think I should know," Shelby replied with a nod.
"I don't know if you're ready for that information, Shel."
"Peter, let's be honest, we don't know if I'll ever get my memory back. And if I don't get it back, I want to know why I was sent to a school for social rejects. And If I do get it back, I still want to know for now," Shelby said a little bit more forcefully.
Peter looked at Shelby carefully. He wanted to argue with her but, whether he liked it or not, he knew she was right. She had the right to know why she was sent to Horizon. He didn't like her 'social rejects' comment but he couldn't deny that it was a school for 'special' people, people with problems in their lives. She had the right to know what her own problems were.
Peter sighed deeply and got off his desk. He walked behind it and went to one of the filing cabinets he had in his room. He opened one of the drawers and found Shelby's file. He didn't like the idea of showing her the file but it was easier for him than telling her everything.
"This is your file. It's been updated every time you told me something or we learned something new about you. The last thing put in was your accident," Peter said and walked over to Shelby, handing her the file. "Read it if you want to know why you're here."
Peter left Shelby alone at that. He walked out of his office and let Shelby read her file in privacy. He didn't really want to be there when she found out everything about her anyway. It was too hard to him to handle. He didn't know how she would handle it but he knew she would want to be alone.
Shelby looked down at the file folder in her hands. She was almost scared to open it and start reading her file. It was strange, she pushed and pushed for her to be able to read her file and she was scared to read it. She wanted to know why she was sent to Horizon but she afraid that the reasons might be too much for her to handle.
After several moments of hesitation, Shelby opened the file folder and saw her picture in the top, right corner. She took a deep breath before she started to read the file. She skimmed through some of the stuff like age, name, sex, family, and other stuff she already knew until she reached where it started talking about why was originally sent there. She read that she was a chronic runaway and shrugged her shoulder. Running away from home wasn't that bad.
Shelby flipped the page and saw notes that Peter had took over the time Shelby had been at Horizon. It was there that she found stuff that she wasn't liking it. She ignored most of the notes but a few of them caught her eye.
"Shelby's reason for running away was that her step-father, Walt, was sexually abusing her. I'm going call C.P.S. and have them meet with Shelby."
Shelby gasped as she read that and she shook her head. She didn't think she wanted to read anymore but she knew that she should. She was just hoping that the sexually abusive step-father was the worst. But she saw that it wasn't when she read Peter's next note.
"Shelby admitted to me that while she was living on the streets, she sold herself as a prostitute in order to survive."
Shelby closed her eyes and when she opened them, she scanned her body quickly. She didn't want to believe what she had just read. The idea was repulsive to her and she couldn't believe that she would really put herself through that kind of hell. Selling herself for money? Shelby shook her head fiercely as a tear fell down her cheek. She didn't mean to start crying but she couldn't stop it.
Shelby wiped the tear away quickly and continued to read.
"Shelby's step-father had a heart attack and by her Mother's wishes, Shelby is being sent home to help take care of him."
Shelby didn't like that. She never even met her step-father but she could tell by what she was reading that she wasn't happy when she had to go home. She could only imagine that she hated it. She wanted to stop reading again but she couldn't fully bring herself to. She wanted to know everything.
"Shelby returned to Horizon and that night she talked to me about what happened at home. It turns out that Shelby only let Walt keep up what he was doing because he promised not to go after her little sister if he did. When Shelby found out that he had been sexually abusing Jess as well, she called the cops on him. She was then brought back to Horizon."
Shelby almost wanted to smile at reading that. She was proud of herself for calling the cops on him but the caption was still too sad for her to smile. She couldn't imagine the little girl she had seen at the hospital having to endure that. She felt too bad for Jess to have been fully proud of herself at that moment. She was only happy with herself but she protected Jess when she called the cops.
"There has been an on-going relationship between Shelby and one of her fellow Cliffhangers, Scott Barringer. It seems innocent enough so I will allow it. Plus, they both seem to be benefiting from the relationship."
Shelby finally smiled when she read that caption. The 'innocent enough' comment is what brought on the smile. Shelby wasn't an expert on her relationship with Scott but she knew that it was far from 'innocent'.
Shelby read the last few notes Peter had but it was everything she already knew. They were talking about the accident, her being in a coma and the last entry was that she woke up without a memory. She kind of sobered up as she read the last few notes because she didn't like the reality of them. Hell, she didn't really like anything she read in her file but she asked to read it so she dealt with having that knowledge.
Shelby closed the file folder and sat it down next to her on the couch. She leaned her elbows on her knees as a deep sigh left her lips. She had a tough life and she knew it. Shelby understood why everyone was making snide remarks about her acting like a bitch when she first arrived at Horizon. Shelby understood being a bitch. She was probably just trying to cover up what she really felt.
Shelby knew she didn't want to admit everything she had done. And truth be told, now that Shelby had the information again, she was probably going to act the same way she did before everyone found out. Shelby, whether she would ever admit it or not, was ashamed of what she had done.
Shelby looked around Peter's office and remembered that she was still alone. She could easily let everything she was feeling out and break down without anyone there to see it. Memory or no memory, Shelby didn't like showing that she was weak in front of people. She didn't like crying in front of people, especially when it over things she had done to herself. Shelby took a breath and forced herself to get in control of her emotions that were dying to leak out.
"You can come in now, Peter," Shelby yelled to the direction of the door.
Peter walked hesitantly back into the room when he heard Shelby's voice. He wasn't sure she invited him back in for herself or for him so he tried to prepare himself for any and everything. He was going to have to be there for her in every way possible from there on and he knew it. Peter just wasn't sure if she would let him.
Shelby looked up at Peter when he walked back in and she watched him carefully. She was simply waiting for him to ask her questions like, 'are you okay?' and to say things like, 'I know this is shocking'. But Shelby didn't want to be bothered with any of those questions or any of those comments. She just wanted to give her file back to Peter and leave.
"Here," Shelby said and handed the file to Peter.
Shelby turned on her heels and walked to the door but stopped just short of it. She looked back to Peter and thought she should say something. After all, he didn't have to give her the file to read, he didn't have to do anything he had been doing lately.
"Thanks," She said softly and left.
Shelby left the administration offices and went strait to the gazebo. She wanted to clear her mind and that was the first place that came to her mind. She sat down on one of the many benches and sigh left her lips. She had everything going through her mind then but above anything else, her past was running through her mind. It was strange to her. She didn't remember any of it and she didn't feel like she had lived it but she knew she had and it scared her. Her past was, literally, coming back to haunt her.
"Maybe finding out why I was sent here was a mistake," Shelby commented softly to no one.
"What?" Scott asked from behind her.
Shelby jumped and almost screamed. She didn't hear Scott approach and she didn't know he was there. She hated that he scared her like that. She didn't know if he heard her or not but she was hoping that since he asked, 'what?' that it meant he didn't. She didn't want him to know about her past. Shelby wasn't sure if he did already but if he didn't, she didn't want to tell him.
"Nothing," She dismissed.
"I wish you wouldn't push me away," Scott said and sat down next to Shelby on the bench. "What's been on your mind so much lately?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Shelby replied and shook her head softly.
"Well, whatever it is, you can't avoid it forever."
"Sure I can," Shelby replied a little coldly.
Shelby stood up from the benches and walked away, leaving Scott alone in shock. He didn't understand why she was pushing him away so much. He knew everything there was to know about her. He didn't know what could be so bad that she thought she couldn't talk to him about.
Shelby walked quickly away from the gazebo, hugging herself arms to her chest. She wanted to talk to someone about her past but she knew she wouldn't; she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to talk about the horrible things she had done and let others do to her. They were too much for her to grasp so she didn't understand how someone else could, least of all Scott.
I don't understand it, Shelby thought. How could he?
(A/N)- First off, thanks so much for the reviews from: Melms213, Snoopy22, Linkie, ScottandShelby4ever, SnowyOwl-17, nefftys, tracy, hdrox, keke1, bubbly, Mickey, AliciaClark, Ossie, rogue-angel07, Ishbugirl, 2008ccampbell, luthien telemnar, Delia, Mandy, tribaltaism, Jill, Kala, PaceyandJoey4everAndAlways, Gaia, Anna, Ghostwriter, Ashley, FrostySnake, PaceynJoey4Eva, HigherGroundfan4Ever, DracoxGinnyfirexIce and Ashley 0918. If I missed you, tell me. I'm soo happy that you're all enjoying this story.
Okay, so, I know this took forver to get up and I'm very, very, very(etc.) sorry about that. I had my finals for school and then I was working, A LOT. And then, my muse was playing major tricks on me. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do with this story and then once I thought of it, I could only write a few hundred words at a time. I would get writng and I would be on a roll and then it would just stop. My muse would leave and not come back for days. It was horrible! So, I'm very sorry this took forever.
Another thing I'm going to say sorry for is this chapter in general. I know it's not very fun or well written but this was kind of a filler chapter. Over the next few chapters, I'm going to bring our fun Shelby back. She'll be more how she was at the beginning of the series. She'll have her witty remarks and basically be a bitch. I'll get to have fun with her and maybe then I can bring a little bit of comedy into it. So, it will hopefully be getting good again soon.
Okay, so, I only had 2 reviews last time. I know it wasn't the best chapter but I want to know if I completely screwed up or if people just didn't get around to reading it or what. Please(I'm begging here) review and let me know how I'm doing. Thanks!