Shelby was just getting into bed when she noticed Juliet wasn't in her pajamas. She was wearing normal clothes as if she were going out. It didn't really worry Shelby that she was sneaking out or whatever she was planning on doing but wasn't that a little out of Juliet's jurisdiction? Wasn't Shelby the one who snuck out and broke the rules, not the precious, innocent Jules?
"Where are you going?" Shelby asked.
"Why do you care?" Juliet asked, not answering her question.
"So, the girl has an attitude. Finally, something grown up about you. Too bad your attitude is weak."
"Sorry, we can't all be major snobs like you."
"Oh, I'm hurt, really," Shelby said with fake sarcasm.
Juliet sighed and walked out of the girl dorm, leaving only Shelby and Daisy in there. Daisy walked out of the bathroom just as Juliet was leaving and she gave Shelby a somewhat confused look as to where she was going.
"It looks like the princess is finally breaking a rule," Shelby said to Daisy.
Daisy gave a shrug and dismissed the topic. She didn't need or want to hear Shelby complain about Juliet. She was her best friend, yes, and would listen to her but she wouldn't like it. The last few days, Shelby had been different and Daisy picked up on it. She thought about asking on more than one occasion but she recognized the Shelby she was dealing with and decided otherwise. It was a smart choice on her part.
Juliet was laying with her small frame resting on Auggie's body. They normally weren't the type to sneak out for middle of the night rendezvous but Juliet had insisted. She wanted out of the girls dorm for a night and wanted to see Auggie away from others so the idea worked out perfectly for her. And Auggie, of course, complied.
"So, you're the one who wanted to do this," Auggie said. "What's up, twig?"
"Do you think I'm childish?" Juliet asked.
"Childish? No. Why?"
"It's just…never mind."
"No, talk to me, Jules."
"Shelby keeps calling me childish and stuff. She says I don't live in the real world," Juliet answered, sounding very frustrated.
"Shelby's been giving you shit?" Auggie asked, a little surprised.
"Yeah. She was great right after the accident and she was nice even but lately it's been like she's the same old Shelby she's always been."
"Like how she was before the accident?"
"No. Like how she was last year. Way before the accident. Before her and Scott and before she learned to like all of us."
"She loves all of us, Jules. She never claimed to like us," Auggie said with a smile.
"You know what I mean," Juliet replied. "She just seems like she's trying to isolate herself again."
Juliet pulled her small body off of Auggie and turned to face him. She didn't like having the conversation without being able to look at Auggie. She wanted to know how crazy he really thought she was. Juliet didn't think she was crazy though. Shelby had been acting differently and it's not wrong that she brought her thoughts to the attention of her boyfriend. Auggie was someone she could trust to not think she was crazy and super naïve.
"Why would Shelby be isolating herself? She's not exactly the type to sit in a corner," Auggie said.
"I know. But she wasn't always this social, ya know. She used to try and keep the topic off of her as much as possible and she used to…oh, I don't know," Juliet said. "Feel free to ignore me at any time, Auggusto."
Auggie smiled at the fact that Juliet used his full name. She was the only one he was okay with calling him that besides his Mother. And even if he didn't like his Mother calling him it, he didn't have a say in the matter. He could tell Juliet not to call him that and she would but he wouldn't tell her that. He actually liked that he called him his full name every now and then.
"Look, stop worrying about Shelby. She's a tough girl with or without a memory and she can handle herself," Auggie said.
"I know. But I wish she didn't have to be so strong all the time," Juliet said.
"It's how she likes it, twig. We can't argue it."
"Easy for you to say. She's not mean to you."
"I've been on the receiving end of Shelby's remarks more than once before."
"Yeah, but she's not mean to you now. Even without a memory she hates me."
"She's not mean to me now because I let her be. If she came to me, I would listen but I don't push like you do sometimes. And she don't hate you, Jules. You're just like a sister to her. She loves you but that doesn't mean she always has to like you."
"She's not like this to Daisy," Juliet argued.
"Hey, twig, I don't want to argue this with you. Just trust me when I say that Shelby don't hate you. Alright?" Auggie asked gently.
Auggie didn't want to argue the matter with Juliet. She was being pretty naïve about the situation but Auggie wouldn't say that to her face. She just needed to not worry so much. Shelby had a lot going on at that time so Auggie couldn't blame her for not always being a socialite. Not everyone was a ray of sunshine like Juliet. But she didn't see that.
"Fine," Juliet said, nearly pouting.
Auggie felt a little bad for making Juliet pout. She was one of the only people who could make him feel guilty about anything. But she was damn good at it. And she knew it too. Auggie wanted to say sorry but he thought apologies were over rated. Instead, his apology was a brief kiss on Juliet's lips. When he pulled away, he saw her smiling and knew instantly that she accepted his form of an apology.
Juliet positioned herself back on Auggie and got comfortable. Auggie didn't mind either. He liked the feel of Juliet in arms. He held her and let himself relax with her on him. It felt good to relax and just to be with her again. They hadn't been that close in a long time and he missed it.
Shelby walked into the girls dorm after dinner and was so tired that she didn't even realize the note on her bed until she sat on it. She felt the paper under her and moved a little so she could grab it out from under her. Shelby was confused. Why would someone write her a letter? And who was it from? She flipped open the sheet and her questions were answered.
On plain notebook paper in black pen, she read:
Shelby,
I don't know what's been going on with you but I'm worried. Can you meet me at the docks tonight at midnight? Hope to see you there.
Love,
Scott.
Shelby rolled her eyes and refolded the note. She wondered why Scott couldn't take a hint. If she wanted to talk to him, she would have. She figured that if she still had a memory, she probably would have told him about everything she read in her file but she didn't have it in her to tell him. She might have already told him, she didn't know. But if she hadn't yet, then she wanted to keep it that way. She was too ashamed of what she read to tell anyone.
Instead of talking about it, she had been avoiding it. Shelby used her attitude for protection. She avoided talking about herself and the little things she knew about her past. But she also couldn't help but feel that since she went through so much in her past, she deserved a little respect. It was ironic, really. She was ashamed of her past but at the same time, she sort of thought she should be respected for it. She was surely the strongest one there because of it, right? She had to have been. Shelby was the only one to overcome something that bad. True, she didn't really know everyone else's story but the fact that she dealt with a sexually abusive step father, lived on the streets and then called the cops on her step father said something, right?
Shelby tossed the note to the side just as Daisy and Juliet walked into the room with smiles on their faces.
"What was that?" Juliet asked.
"Why do you care?" Shelby asked, sounding almost instantly irritated.
"Just wondering."
"Yeah, too bad all you do is wonder."
"Why do you always have to be so mean?"
"Because I take pride in provoking people," Shelby answered, leaning forward a bit. "Call it vice. Call it a virtue."
Juliet rolled her eyes and sat down on her bed. She hated that Shelby was being her old cruel self again. She missed the Shelby who was actually semi nice to her. True, they were never best friends and they didn't always get along but Shelby had been extra cruel lately. And not just really to Juliet but to everyone. It just seemed like it was Juliet the most. Maybe Auggie was right. Maybe it was because she pushed. But was it so wrong to worry about someone?
Shelby didn't like it when people worried about her. With or without a memory, that was something that wasn't going to change about her. She hated when people pushed her on matters when she had already made it more than clear that she didn't want to talk. By tossing the note aside, she was making it clear that she didn't want to talk about it or really even want them to know about it. She didn't want people worrying about her or questioning her like she was some kid.
Shelby understood people worrying about her though. As much as she hated to admit it, she had been pretty obvious about something being wrong with her. She'd been distant and mean for no reason. She wasn't expecting people to notice that easily. But what she didn't know was that they had dealt with that girl before. They all dealt with the cold and cruel girl she was being. They recognized what she was doing and she didn't like it at all. It made everyone worry which caused them to question.
Shelby was going to avoid those questions as much as possible. And that meant not going to see Scott that night. She felt a little bad for shutting him out so completely but she couldn't bring herself to answer the questions she knew he would ask. And she had feeling that if she did go to see him, she would cave and tell him. It would be like walking right into a trap. Shelby was smart. She wasn't going to walk right into that trap and let herself tell Scott her whole life story. She wasn't ready for that yet. Would she ever will be? She didn't know but she knew she wasn't ready yet.
Scott paced back forth at the docks as he waited to Shelby to show up. It was a quarter past a midnight – fifteen minutes after he asked her to be there. She wasn't coming. Scott knew it but he didn't want to admit it to himself. He should have known that she wasn't going to come but hope got the best of him and he found himself at the docks at twelve on the dot. He wanted to leave but, what if she came? What if she was just late? Yeah, right.
Scott sighed deeply as he ran one of his hands through his short blonde curls. He sat down on one of the benches and gazed off into the water. He watched as it crashed up against the docks. It created a soothing sounds but it didn't help him in that moment. Nothing helped.
It took Scott several more minutes to finally realize and accept the fact that Shelby wasn't going to show up. She stood him up, again. It was in that moment that he noticed she was reverting back to her old self. He didn't know what sparked it, though. What could have happened in Peter's office that day was so bad?
Scott stood up to leave when he heard a stick break from someone stepping on it. The hope in his stomach was rekindled. Could it have really been Shelby? Was she just half an hour late? The flame in his stomach burned out the moment he was who it was. It wasn't Shelby like he hoped but Ezra.
"Oh, you," Scott said to him.
"Don't sound so enthused," Ezra replied.
"Sorry."
"Still waiting for Shelby?"
"Yeah," Scott said and furrowed his eye brows to Ezra. "How do you know?"
"I saw you writing to note."
"You were spying?"
"Observing," Ezra corrected with a grin.
"Right," Scott said with a small smile and a nod.
Scott sat back down on one of the benches and Ezra followed his lead. Ezra wasn't sure why he really showed up but he knew Shelby wouldn't and he figured that Scott would need a friend. From what he saw, he guessed right. Scott was holding onto false hope and Ezra knew it. Actually, he understood it all to well. He loved that Scott and Shelby were together, they were good together and helped each other but he still remembered when he was fixated with the girl.
Ezra saw more than most people noticed. He saw Shelby slipping back into her old self long before anyone else and he saw Scott's frustration over it. No one suspected Ezra to know anything because he was always quiet and he stayed out of the way but what a lot of people didn't realize was that nobody noticing him gave him the ability to know so much. Everyone brought it on themselves.
"Scott, why did you want her to meet you?" Ezra asked casually.
"I'm worried about her," Scott answered simply. "She doesn't have a memory so she doesn't know that she trusts me. If she had her memory, whatever's bothering her wouldn't have been a problem because she would have told me."
"Are you sure she would have told you? You know her better than anyone except maybe Daisy which means you should know that with or without a memory, Shelby likes to keep her problems to herself."
"I know. It's just…I'm worried."
"I understand that. But you need to understand where Shelby's coming from."
"What do you mean?" Scott asked, giving Ezra a sideways look.
"Maybe whatever happened to her in Peter's office that day is something she's not ready to talk about. And it might even be something you already know but she doesn't know that. She doesn't know how much about her problems or why she's here you know. And just maybe she doesn't want you to know."
"Why wouldn't she want me to know, though? I already know why she's here and I know about her past and I accept it."
"But she doesn't know that," Ezra reminded. "Behind the smoke screen she's wearing right now, there's something else besides smoke. We all know it. But she doesn't know how well we know her."
"Well, how are we suppose to tell her that we all understand if she keeps standing us up?"
"We won't know until she wants us to. Shelby's always been like this, Scott. She's stubborn and she's ashamed of more than half the things she's done in her life. Put those two things together and it will make anyone a little distant and crabby."
Scott sighed deeply. He realized how completely and utterly right Ezra was. He knew Shelby better than most. He hated the fact that he needed Ezra for translation in that moment. Shelby had been through too much to just open up to people she didn't know. In actuality, she knew Scott and loved Scott but the fact that she didn't remember all that was really paying a toll on their relationship.
"How is it that you know all this and I don't?" Scott asked.
"I see things that most people don't," Ezra answered with a small and almost sad smile. "She'll come to you when she's ready. But you can't push her. If you push her, it will only make things worse."
"I know. But I can't not push her. Something happened to her and she's not the same Shelby she was before the accident."
"Actually, she is. She's the same girl she was long before the accident. She's the Shelby you didn't like," Ezra reminded Scott with a smile.
"Yeah, but I know that's not the real Shelby. That's a mask she wore."
"I know. And if she's wearing that mask again then there's a reason. We don't know what that reason is and we won't until she wants us to. Just like before, we just have to deal with it until she's ready to tell us what it is."
Scott understood where Ezra was coming from but he still found it strange that he knew more about it than he did. Did Shelby talk to him or was he seriously telling the truth? Does he just see things that others don't?
"Did she say anything to you?" Scott asked.
"No," Ezra answered. "You and Daisy are going to be the first people she talks to about whatever is bothering her. I just understand her right now."
Both the boys stayed silent for several moments. It was as if they had a mutual understanding that neither of them should speak right then while Scott processed everything Ezra had said. Everything he said was beginning to sink into him and he didn't like it. He was a patient guy and he didn't want to wait for Shelby to come around and talk to him. But he didn't have any other choice. No one could force Shelby to do anything and he knew it. He just needed to be patient. She would eventually come around and talk to him.
"Thanks," Scott said softly.
"Hey, what are friends for?" Ezra replied with a smile.
"I'm serious."
"Me too."
The boys stood up from the benched and Scott wrapped one of his arms around Ezra's shoulders. They were friends, in a way that not a lot of people outside of Horizon would ever understand. Everyone there was like family. They didn't always like each other but they always loved each other. And that was what all of them needed. But sometimes, they didn't need family, they needed friends. And they could all be there for each other in that sense too.
The next day, after everyone was done with breakfast, they were all on their way to class. Breakfast was surprisingly quiet but it was due mostly to the fact that the one who usually talked the most at breakfast was tired for he was out late helping a friend. Juliet and Ezra were always the talkative ones in the morning. Juliet didn't really have an excuse but Ezra was exhausted.
On the way to class, Scott caught up with Shelby. He grabbed her arm to get her attention. Shelby turned around to face him with a blank expression. She knew what he wanted. He wanted an explanation for standing him up the night before. The only problem was, she wasn't ready to give him an explanation; she didn't have to give him, actually.
"Hey," Scott said, trying for a casual approach.
"Hi," Shelby said with a forced smile and started to walk again.
"Did you get my note?" Scott asked as he walked next to her.
"Yes."
"But you didn't show up."
"Ah, so you noticed."
"It's kind of hard not to notice getting stood up."
"I didn't stand you up," Shelby stated. "If I had agreed to this little get together than it could have been considered as standing you up but I didn't. You can't just expect me to drop what I'm doing to come and meet you in the middle of the night.
"Well, forgive me for worrying about my girlfriend," Scott retorted sarcastically.
"You're saying that to a girl who doesn't remember that she's your girlfriend!" Shelby spat back.
Scott sort of recoiled away from her. He knew he was pushing her too much to quickly but he couldn't not. If things were normal, nothing like this would be going on. Shelby would have remembered that she trusted him and she would have told him whatever it was that happened in Peter's office. For all either of them knew, it was something that Scott already knew about but Shelby wasn't aware of.
Scott's sadness was evident on his face. Shelby could see that hurt him with her was and what she had been doing lately. But she couldn't help it. She knew that if her memory was there and if she remembered Scott that things would be completely different. But the hard truth was: her memory wasn't there. She didn't know how much Scott knew about her past. And if he didn't know about what she had done then she wanted to keep it that way. But Shelby couldn't deny that she felt a little guilty about hurting the man she was suppose to love.
"Look, I'm sorry," Shelby said as she stopped walking at to him with serious eyes. "But what happened to me was something big. It was too big for me to just go around talking about."
"Did you ever think that I might already know whatever is bothering you?" Scott asked as gently as he could.
"Of course I did. But if it's something you don't know, I want to keep it that way."
"You can trust me, Shelby."
"Not with this. Not yet," Shelby said with a sad tone. "Maybe someday I will get around to telling you everything but right now I can't. And I need you to respect that."
"I do respect it, Shelby," Scott said softly. "I'm just worried about you."
"I get that but you don't have to be. If everything I saw is true then I'm a tough girl. I can deal with it."
"I know your strong, Shelby. I just wish you didn't have to be so strong all the time."
"So do I," Shelby said with a sad smile.
Shelby raised on her hands to the side of Scott's face and touched him gently. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. She gave another sad smile before she removed her hand and walked away. She couldn't be near him right then. If she started talking to him then she would tell him everything. It would all just spill out and she wouldn't be able to stop it.
Shelby knew that if she told him about her past that he would hate her forever. She couldn't deal with that. She wouldn't be able to stand him hating her because in spite of everything, she still loved him. With or without a memory, Shelby knew deep down that her loving him was something that was never going to change. She wanted him to love her back and she knew he wouldn't if he knew about everything she'd done.
Shelby stayed quiet. She wanted to save her relationship with Scott but what she didn't know was that by staying quiet, she was slowly destroying it.
(A/N)- First off, thanks so much for the reviews from: Melms213, Snoopy22, Linkie, ScottandShelby4ever, SnowyOwl-17, nefftys, tracy, hdrox, keke1, bubbly, Mickey, AliciaClark, Ossie, rogue-angel07, Ishbugirl, 2008ccampbell, luthien telemnar, Delia, Mandy, tribaltaism, Jill, Kala, PaceyandJoey4everAndAlways, Gaia, Anna, Ghostwriter, Ashley, FrostySnake, PaceynJoey4Eva, HigherGroundfan4Ever, DracoxGinnyfirexIce and Ashley 0918. If I missed you, tell me. I'm soo happy that you're all enjoying this story.
Second, I'm sooo sorry this took soo long. I wasn't expecting it to. But it seems that getting into the mindset of old Shelby and everyone else was easier said than done. I think I did a semi-good job with it. Once I got writing it all came so quickly for me. My muse was with me when I started this chapter, thank God. If she wasn't, I don't know how long you guys would have been waiting for this chapter.
For anyone who cares, I'm writing a 'Haunted' chapter next. It will hopefully be the second to last chapter. Then I will probably go back to my 'Firefly' fic for a little while and get an update for that story. After that, I will finish planning out 'A New Life'(the sequal to The Truth Comes Out) then I will get and 'All because of a Play' update and hopefully write the first chapter of 'A New Life'. Now everyone, please don't get too excited. I don't know how long it will take me to get around to it. Hopefully, I can get all that stuff done with in the next 2-3 months. I'm trying to get an update up every 3 weeks or so but I make no promices.
As always, please review! It's your opinions that matter to me.
