Shelby woke up to the sound of Sophie's voice ringing through the air. Her eyes shot open quickly but she soon closed them again as a grumble left her mouth. She would have appreciated more time to sleep. Shelby had gotten used to having to wake up early so it wasn't the time that had effected her. It was that she had been up for several, long hours trying to think of what to say to everyone.
How could she tell people who were suppose to be like family to her that she was sorry for how she had been acting for the past month and a half? How could she apologize for acting absolutely horrible to them when they were only trying to help? How could she tell them that the only reason she was acting the way she did was because she didn't want them to find out something they already knew? The girl didn't know, and she didn't like it. But she knew they deserved an explanation so, whether she liked it or not, she had to give them one.
Shelby got out of her bed and began to get ready with ease. Every thing was like a normal morning in the dorms save for dirty looks from Juliet and a concerned ones from Daisy. The looks didn't help; they only made Shelby feel even more guilty, if that was possible. That evil emotion filled the pit of her stomach and made her want to scream and cry at the same time. She hoped that after her apology, that emotion would drift away but that was assuming she could actually get the apology out.
At breakfast, Shelby was quiet. Everyone was fairly quiet but Shelby was literally silent. She didn't speak a work through out the whole meal. She was too over come with thoughts and emotions to talk. Thinking about what to say or how to say it was exhausting. She seemed to be very far off, in a place no one could touch her; she was lost in her thoughts.
"Are you okay?" Scott asked carefully. "I don't mean to be pushing or anything, it's just, you seem a little out of it."
Shelby smiled. "I'm fine. I'm just thinking. I have a lot on my mind right now."
Scott gave Shelby a skeptical look. He wanted to believe her and to think that she was fine but she seemed so distracted. He didn't want to push her and drive her even further away from him but he couldn't help it sometimes. Worry was an emotion that over came Scott, it smothered him like water smothered a fire.
"Really, I'm fine," Shelby persisted and thought about it for a moment. "And, don't worry, you weren't pushing."
The pair shared a smile that was quickly interrupted by Sophie coming up to the table and announcing that it was time for group.
Shelby sighed, she couldn't help it. She had all last nigh and all morning to think about what to say to the group and she was still at a loss for words. She closed her eyes for a moment and clenched her jaw before she finally got out of her chair. Sophie's eyes caught hers within seconds and gave her a very commanding look.
"I know. I know," Shelby stayed, obviously frustrated.
"What do you know?" Scott asked, once again carefully.
Shelby thought about answering the question but settled for saying, "You'll find out."
Shelby walked into the lodge, leaving Scott thoroughly confused. He glanced at Sophie and she simply shook her head in a, 'don't look a me' sort of way. Scott just had to settle for the response he got; he would find out soon enough.
Everyone walked into the lodge and took their respective seats in the circle of chairs. No one spoke, they all simply waited for Sophie to tell them what they had to do that morning. However, Sophie stayed silent with her eyes cast to the young blonde of the group.
"Shelby, how about you begin?" Sophie suggested.
"You didn't even tell us what we were doing yet," Ezra stated, sounding somewhat confused.
"Yeah, well, this isn't going to be our typical group." Shelby commented.
Shelby stood from the chair while fidgeting with her hands in front of her. She was hoping it would help but it didn't so she finally gave up and let her arms rest at her sides. The young girl still hadn't thought of something to say. She was at a loss for words. But she figured that if these people were supposed to be like family that it shouldn't be that difficult. Speak from the heart, she told herself silently.
"Okay, I know you guys have all noticed my attitude in the last month or so and I want to take this time to tell you all that I'm sorry," Shelby began, rather apprehensively. "I was hoping that if I was cold enough to you all that I could keep my secrets. However, I had recently been informed that my attempts were ridiculous because you all already knew what I was trying to hide." Shelby glanced and Sophie, who gave her a reassuring nod. "Not having a memory means that I don't remember that I trust you guys. I didn't realize how close I was with all of you or that I had already told you everything about me."
Shelby's voice had managed to stay fairly steady as she spoke. She was nervous as hell and didn't even know if she was getting what she was trying to say out. She didn't know how to apologize for what she had been doing. It's difficult to say sorry to people you know you hurt for no reason. Being cold hadn't kept her secret.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is just that I'm sorry," Shelby said, her eyes scanning the people before her. "And I hope you guys will forgive me for how I've been acting."
No one was looking at Shelby; they were all looking around the room, at each other. They all wanted to forgive her because they all understood where she was coming from. They knew the person they were dealing with from the beginning but that didn't make Shelby's words and actions hurt any less. Still, they all took into consideration that she apologized for it.
No one spoke still and Shelby didn't think that was a good sign. She braced herself for them to start yelling. She couldn't fully blame them if they did.
"Of course we forgive you," Ezra finally said, speaking for the whole group.
Shelby smiled. She felt like a weight had finally been lifted off of her shoulders. She didn't want these people to hate her for something she did. She would have brought it on herself but that didn't mean she would have liked it. She was happy to hear that they forgave her.
"We understand, Shel," Auggie said. "So, don't worry about it. We get you."
"Thanks, you guys," Shelby said with a gentle nod to everyone as she sat back down in her chair.
Sophie glanced around at the group and by the looks on all of their faces, she could tell they had been through enough that morning. She could let them pass without a real group meeting. They didn't need an exercise to show how they all felt or what was going on with all of them right now. They were okay and obviously drained with everything that had already happened.
"Okay, I think that's enough for this morning," Sophie said, standing up. "You're free to go."
Everyone stood up to leave the lodge. Scott, who stayed silent through out Shelby's whole apology, was the one closest to the door when Shelby grabbed his hand. He turned around and looked at her while fighting to keep his face unreadable. He didn't want to look at Shelby in that moment. He didn't really want anything to do with her. He accepted her apology but he couldn't bring himself to act like nothing had happened between them.
"Come on, I want to talk to you," Shelby said and started to lead him out of the lodge.
"What if I don't want to talk to you?" Scott retorted coldly and shook his hand free of Shelby's grip.
"Come on, Scott, please," Shelby pleaded with helplessness in her eyes and clearly written on her face.
Scott didn't know if it was the look on her face, the tone of her voice, or if it was that it was Shelby but he couldn't bring himself to continue to be cold. He caved and gave a soft nod. He followed her because he couldn't will himself not to. He didn't know what he was getting himself into but he couldn't help it. Part of him still hated Shelby for how he had been acting but there was bigger part of him that was simply hurt by it. But, if she was trying to make things right, he figured the least he could do was listen to her.
The pair stepped onto the docks, Shelby still being in the lead. Scott was following her but they weren't holding hands and he was avoiding looking at her. Shelby kept her eyes locked on the guy in front of her but she couldn't speak. She tried but it was as if her voice had disappeared. Once again, she didn't know quite what to say but she knew she had to say something. Scott deserved more than what she had said in the lodge.
"I'm sorry," Shelby was finally able to get out after 3 more tries. "I've been coldest to you and I know you've noticed it. But it was only because I valued your opinion more than anyone else's."
Scott kept his blue eyes fixed on one of the many benches. He knew if he looked at her, he would cave. Shelby was his one, true weakness and he knew it. He hated it, but he knew it none-the-less. Yet while Scott kept his eyes fixed on a bench, Shelby kept her eyes fixed on him.
"I know you were worried about me and I'm sorry for that too," Shelby continued. "You cared about me and I get that. I just didn't want you to find out what I read in my file. The thought that you might already know never crossed my mind because you loved me and I didn't think you would be able to love me if you knew everything in that file. I'm sorry, Scott. I don't know what else to say."
Scott listened and comprehended everything Shelby said. He understood why she would hide it but that didn't make it hurt any less. He felt like he did the year before when she didn't trust him enough to tell him, when she thought he would hate her for it. He had proven her wrong. But he kept forgetting that he wasn't dealing with the girl he had proven wrong.
"You thought like that last year too," Scott said after a long pause. "And I'm not going to lie, there were some things I couldn't deal with initially. But, eventually, we were both okay with it. I trusted you with everything in my past and you accepted it all. You were the one who was there to help me with everything, which is why when you woke up in the hospital I said I was your boyfriend and your best friend."
Scott didn't really know what he was saying or why he was saying it. It didn't matter though. The look on Shelby's face was all that mattered to him right then. He forced himself to look at her and he caved, just like he knew he would. He wasn't thinking about what he was saying; he was just letting everything pour out of him. Shelby was one of the only people, if not the only person, he could do that with.
"We've been through a lot together, Shel," Scott stated. "And one of the things we've learned through our trials is that we don't keep things from each other anymore. I understand why you did but it still hurt."
"I'm sorry," she said, before Scott could finish.
"I know you are. You didn't know. And it's okay. I should have backed off when you asked me to. I should have realized that you would come to me in time and that I couldn't push you. We'd been through this whole thing before so I should have known better. I guess, I'm sorry too."
"You don't need to be apologizing, Scott. I was the one who was the bitch and I was the one who…"
"Shh!" Scott scolded with a smile as he put his index finger to Shelby's lips to silence her. "We're good now. Don't ruin it."
Shelby's lips curved into a smile against Scott's finger. The pair shared that smile and suddenly it was as if they both had no worries in the world. There was nothing else that mattered but each other in that moment. Scott finally removed his finger, trusting Shelby to stay silent. They kept their eyes locked on each other for several long moments before Scott pulled Shelby into his arms.
It felt so good to have her in his arms again, to hold her. He missed that. He missed being able to hold her and comfort her and be comforted by her. He felt relaxed with her in his arms. Despite the rocky road the couple has traveled, Shelby was one of the few constants in Scott's life. He cherished times like this, when the world just washed away and there was nothing but them together, in each other's arms.
"I could stay like this forever," Shelby stated softly against Scott's chest.
"So could I," he agreed with a smile. "But, unfortunately, we can't. We have class."
"Do we have to go?" Shelby asked, not letting go of her grip on his waist.
"Yes."
Scott pulled away just enough so that Shelby would be forced to remove her head from his chest and look at him. He gazed down at her with a smile still on his face. He leaned down and gave her sweet, yet very brief kiss on the lips. He pulled away and turned to leave but Shelby wouldn't let go of his hand. He looked back at her with a curious look but she only shook her head in response. She pulled him back to her and they shared another kiss but it wasn't like the first. It was sweet, and gentle, and sensual but it wasn't brief.
When they parted from the second kiss, they both seemed to be thoroughly satisfied by the turn of events that morning and were more than willing to go to class. It's strange how love usually can conquer all things.
Peter sat behind his desk in his office, looking across as Sophie who sat in front of him in one of the chairs on the other side of his desk. He was frozen at what Sophie had said. He knew Shelby and was well aware of her attitude but she had never apologized for it before, even if she did think one was necessary.
"She said sorry?" he asked, as if he wasn't quite sure about it.
"Yes," Sophie said with a nod. "The only reason she was freezing everyone out was because she didn't want them to know. Once I told them they already did, she felt horrible."
"Did everyone accept?"
"Yeah. I think they all knew what Shelby was doing from the get go. Without a memory, she doesn't realize that she can't fool them."
"True. It's just, you'd think that after almost eight months without a memory she would have finally realized that we're like her family," Peter said as it dawned on him just how long it had actually been since the accident. "Wow. Eight months."
"Has it really been that long?" Sophie asked, not wanting to admit it.
Peter nodded to the blonde before him. The doctors said they didn't know how long it would take for Shelby to get her memory back or even if she would for sure. Everyone at Horizon was always optimistic, thinking she would get it back soon. But after eight months it was getting more and more difficult to keep up the hope that she would.
"Peter, do you think she'll ever get it back?" Sophie asked, insecurity shown in her voice. "I mean, after eight months, I'm beginning to loose hope."
"We can never loose hope, Soph," Peter replied with a sad smile. "Shelby's tough girl. If anyone can get this back, it's her."
"But it's been eight months. What if she can't? I know Shelby's strong but if she hasn't gotten it back yet…the doctors said the longer she goes without a memory, the harder it's going to be for her to get it back."
"I know what the doctors said, Sophie." Peter sighed. "We just can't give up hope."
"I have no room left for hope, Peter. I'm too consumed with worry."
Sophie stood up from the chair and made her way to the door. She had a long day and was exhausted. She wanted to go home, take a long bath and then go to sleep. She knew Peter would come home when he was ready. He had learned not to push him just like he had learned not to push her.
"I'll see you later," Sophie said and opened the door.
"Sophie!" Peter called. "There's always room for hope."
Sophie offered Peter a smile before walking out of the door, leaving the man alone in his office.
Peter leaned back in his chair and looked out the window of his office. Through the window, he could vaguely see the girls dorm. A sad smile appeared on his face as his mind wondered to Shelby. He always told everyone that there was always room for hope and they need to trust that everything would be okay. But, honestly, Peter was finding it hard to believe his own words.
She'll be fine, Peter told himself. She has to be fine.
(A/N)- First off, thanks so much for the reviews from: Melms213, Snoopy22, Linkie, ScottandShelby4ever, SnowyOwl-17, nefftys, tracy, hdrox, keke1, bubbly, Mickey, AliciaClark, Ossie, rogue-angel07, Ishbugirl, 2008ccampbell, luthien telemnar, Delia, Mandy, tribaltaism, Jill, Kala, PaceyandJoey4everAndAlways, Gaia, Anna, Ghostwriter, Ashley, FrostySnake, PaceynJoey4Eva, HigherGroundfan4Ever, DracoxGinnyfirexIce, weylela, xXxNaleyIsLovexXx,and Ashley 0918. If I missed you, tell me. I'm soo happy that you're all enjoying this story.
So, it may be my birthday but you guys are the ones getting the gift. I got this chapter written fast after I gave up on my firefly fic for the moment. I have the rest of this story planned out, it's only two more chapters but I hope that you will all be happy about it. It should be a good ending, assuming I can bring my vision to life.
I don't know what I'll be writing next. It will be whatever comes easiest to me or whatever mood I'm in.
As always, please review!