The Gang's All Here

"It's about that line: 'The nine that live with one to mourn…" said Chris, looking into his father's sympathetic eyes as two tears burned down his cheeks. "Wyatt can't ever know…"

Before Chris had a chance to continue, the sound of dripping water sounded in the Main Hall.

"Uh oh!" a young man's voice said softly. "What happened to the water?" It was Tristan, son number 8. The poor guy was completely naked, dripping wet, and there were thick shampoo suds in his long copper hair and all over his face. His hands searched the air in front of him for any sign of water. "To heck with the water! What happened to the shower!?"

Chris, his parents, and Paige leaned to get a view of the new visitor. All were instantly stunned into silence. Chris himself felt like he was laughing at a funeral, his expression having gone from tearful to tickled. Piper, Leo, and Paige looked as though they were in a fly-catching competition, their mouths being the nets.

"Shane?" Tristan called out, unable to open his eyes for the suds on his face. He turned toward the Dining Room and continued to feel in front on him.

All of a sudden, the Manor's front door swang open, and in walked a tall young man with spiked, dark ash blond hair, and short but thick, scruffy facial hair that barely reached the criteria to be called an actual beard. He was wearing a dark blue shirt, a black leather jacket, jeans, and black leather boots.

"Laundry man!" said Shane, son number 4, as he stepped into the Hall with two large duffel bags. "Oh, pardon me ma'am." he said, looking smugly at his younger brother, as Tristan turned his naked, sud soaked body towards the crisp baritone voice. "Oh pardon me, sir." Shane teased, "I just figured from the long hair, and that curvy back side o' yours that you were a…"

"You're hilarious, ya know that?" Tristan said sarcastically. "Where did you take us?"

"2006." Shane wickedly replied.

"WHAT?"

"Yeah." Shane tauntingly sighed. "Internet's a little slower, the gassy smell from the cars takes a little getting used to, but all in all not such a bad year."

"You're not that evil..." wined Tristan. "Are you?"

Shane noticed the four sets of peeled eyes peeping out from within the Parlor. He winked in their direction and made a shushing signal with his finger. Looking at Piper, Leo, and Paige, he took his hand and gave them a small and charmingly casual military salute as a greeting. He turned his attention back to the clueless, shivering Tristan. "I told you I'd get even when you least expected it. I'd say this qualifies."

An appauled squeek escaped Tristan's throat. "Get even?" he answered back. "This is so not getting even. I'll tell ya what this is. This is -- It's um -- Okay, don't know what this is, but it's not even?"

Shane faked a long yawn. "Ya know what they say: Revenge is in the eye of the beholder."

"That's 'beauty', dummy."

"Oh, I know," Shane said smugly, "and this is definitely a beautiful thing!"

Tristan let out a defeated groan. "Fine, then," he said in surrender. "You got me. Ya got me reeeal good!"

Shane sighed with deep satisfaction. "Yyyyyeah. I sure did, didn't I."

"So prank time's over then?" It was a request, poorly disquised as a quetion. "Please Shane? Please?" he asked. "Can I at least have a towel?"

"Well…"

"Pretty please, with non-dairy creamer and your favorite artificial sweetener on top?" Tristan pleaded. "SHANE?"

"There there, hold on." Shane chanted, setting the duffle bags down and folding his arms in amusement. "I just wanna take this little moment in. You don't get many like this."

"Shane, I'm getting suds in my eyes."

"Sad story, Tris." Shane chided. "And here I am without my violin."

Tristan reached the end of his patience. "Do you have a tee-shirt I could dry off with in the gorram duffle bags?" he snapped, at least as close to snapping as Tristan ever came. "You did bring my clothes didn't you?" he asked anxiously. "Please tell me you're not gonna leave me in 2006 with nothing but my birthday suit!"

"Oh, simmer down, ya little fuss box," said Shane, though not unkindly. "I swear, boy. How is it that there're seven middle children and you're the only one of us with 'middle child syndrome'?"

"Shane????"

"Relax, Tris. Of course I brought your clothes. I'm not heartless, ya know."

Tristan said aloud to himself, "Just think, Tristan. Don't say. Just think."

Shane laughed quietly to himself. "I've got your duffle bag with me right n-"

"Tee-shirt!" Tristan called out, but the whole duffel bag raced towards him, "Whoa!" he shouted, as it bumped him in the chest, knocking him on his rear. "Ugh." he groaned and dropped to the floor.

"Ooooh." Shane patronized. "Saw that one coming."

"You put your force field on the duffel bags?"

"Yeah. That one, you know the one on top of you?" Shane said glibly.

"Oh you mean this duffel bag?" Tristan quipped in exasperation. "This one here?"

"Yep, the one on top of you there, that one has a rip close to the handle." Shane coyly explained. "Just taking precautions. You know how it is."

"Uh huh." Tristan flatly responded. "Can we end the torture session already?"

"Alright, alight." Shane relented. He walked proudly over to his victim, pulled the duffel bag off of him, unzipped it, and pulled out a white tee-shirt. "Here, wipe your eyes." he said, dropping it on Tristan's face.

"Thank you." Tristan snapped, wiping his eyes as he lay on his back.

Shane took his jacket off and set it down on Tristan's torso. "See how much I love you? I'm letting you get water all over my favorite jacket."

"You've got two more, just like it." returned Tristan. "Spare me the Mother Theresa act."

"Tristan, Tristan, Tristan." Shane tisked "The hate, the bile, the anger… Where's that sweet little boy I used to lock in the closet?"

Tristan flicked his hands toward his brother, attempting to freeze him. Nothing.

"You've been doin' that all week." Shane observed. "What is up?"

"I'm supposed to be able to freeze evil." Tristan said snidely.

"Oh yeah?" Shane responded, as if to stall for thinking "Oh yeah?" he repeated, goofily scanning his brain for a witty retort or saying of some sort.

"Well what?" Tristan said with a glib smile, throwing the tee-shirt back up in Shane's face. "Come on, Shane! Out with it."

Shane caught the tee-shirt as it fell from his face and knelt down next to his brother. "Okay," Shane reluctantly conceded, unable to manage a witty remark. "but, when I think of a comeback… I'm coming back."

"Brilliant Shane." Tristan laughed. "A Harvard vocabulary and you still suck at comebacks."

"Ya know, that jacket can be ripped away right now."

"No really," Tristan cackled, "You're a genius! Does NASA know about you?"

"Enjoy it while it lasts, bathboy…"

"Mensa maybe? That mind is a rugged jewel just waiting to be…"

Still kneeling next to his brother, Shane pointed in the direction of the four 'peeping Toms and Tom-ettes' in the Parlor. "Oh look, I nearly forgot they were there!" he interrupted.

"Jeez!" Tristan shouted, rushing to sit up and tucking as much of himself behind Shane's jacket as possible.

"Wow," Piper said, in a playfully knowing tone. "the fashion experts were right: In the future we will be wearing nothing at all."

Tristan blushed in embarrassed speechlessness.

"Britney Spears is ahead of her time." remarked Paige. "Are you as disturbed by that thought as I am?"

Tristan scowled at Shane as he smiled wickedly. "Two birds with one stone, Shannon?" he quipped.

"I prefer 'two for one special', myself" Shane replied. "Why would I wanna kill two perfectly innocent birds?"

"Grrrr…" Tristan growled beneath his breath.

"Now who's lackin' in the comeback department?" Shane teased, standing up to shake his approaching father's hand. "How do ya do?" he said "I'm Shane."

"Hey!" Leo said, shaking his son's firm grip. "Call me 'Dad'." He looked Shane up and down and smiled. "So you're son number four."

Shane hugged Leo's neck, took a step back, and put his hands up in playful surrender. "Ya got me!"

As Shane continued to hug his 'new' family members, Tristan did his best to tuck his head beneath the dampened leather jacket. Shane gestured down towards the mortified young man. "This fussy little damp perfectionist at our feet is named Tristan."

"I make a much better second impression." Tristan moaned.

Shane added: "By about the fourth or fifth is when he reeeeally gets goin'."

Tristan peeked up at Shane. "Had to pick today to be on a roll, didn't ya?"

"What can I say Tris?" Shane chided. "You inspire me."

Tristan pulled the duffel bag towards himself and started rifling through it, looking for clothes, all the while grumbling inaudibly under his breath. He ultimately managed to slip some flannel pajama bottoms on while showing minimal flesh. "Be right with ya!"

"Don't worry, Sweets." Piper said. "At least you were vertical the first time we saw you… Well, at first anyway. Can't say the same for most of your brothers."

Tristan was too embarrassed to respond, but continued to try and dress himself while avoiding any eye contact.

Chris was the last to enter the Main Hall from the Parlor. As he stepped up to greet Shane, the younger man noticed the redness of Chris' eyes. "What's the matter, Weepy?" Shane asked as Chris hugged his neck. "You need me to beat somebody up for you?"

Piper was anxious to get back to the topic of the curse. "Chris was just telling us about 'the one to mourn'." she said, clearly indicating that she refused to let the subject drop.

Shane looked deeply into Chris' eyes, looking for any guiding sign as to how he should respond. However…

"Shane! Tristan!" Lee shouted as he ran down the stairs.

Steve ran down behind him. "Names listed alphabetically as not to imply preference, seniority, or favoritism."

"Hey, little one!" Shane greeted as Lee hopped on back in piggyback fashion. "Oomph!" Shane grunted, as the youngest Halliwell pounced on.

"Where ya been?" Lee asked playfully. "I've had to walk around on my own two feet all… day… long."

"Sorry Buddy." Shane replied. "Say, would his Highness mind hopping down? His steed's had a long day."

"Well, since ya asked so nicely." Lee cheekily replied.

"Your Majesty is most gracious." Shane grunted as Lee pounced off his back.

"Aw," cooed Lee. "You're just sayin' that."

"Yes I am!" Shane returned with an affectionate grin.

As Steve made it to the bottom of the stairs, he lent the mostly-dressed Tristan a hand in getting up off the floor. Noticing the combination of flannel bottoms, bare chest, and black leather jacket, Steve waved his finger up and down Tristan's body, doing his 'Karen Walker' from 'Will & Grace' impression. "Honey, what's this? What's goin' on? What's happening? What's this supposed to be?"

Tristan gripped Steve's jaw, producing fish like lips on Steve's clownish face. "Steve, you're my brother, I love you, and I'm a big fan of your work." he said. "But as you may have noticed, this isn't a good time for me."

Steve managed to get out the sound "Sowwy" through his scrunched mouth. Tristan released Steve's jaw and patted his cheek in response.

"Where are the twins?" Chris asked Shane, now that all 9 brothers were under the same roof.

"They're with Mom and Dad," Shane answered. "as are Hank, Holly, and Heidi."

"Wow," Paige said pensively. "Those are some of my favorite names."

Shane bounced his eyebrows mischievously up and down. "Hope so. You named 'em."

"Ooh!" Paige squealed and clapped giddily, excited at the thought of having children.

"Hey!" Jared yelled as he and Dylan came down the stairs. "The gang's all here!"

Dylan scrunched his eyebrows, looking at Tristan's unusual attire. "This is new." he said.

"Take a number." Tristan sighed.

"By the way," said Shane. "Where is everybody?"

Leo answered. "Henry's away with his job and Phoebe and Coop are on their Honeymoon?"

"Really?" Shane asked. "That's right! Last week was their anniversary." he said, just as he realized he forgot to give them a present. "Whoops."

"What about Wyatt and Rory?" Tristan asked, looking to the top of the stairs as if waiting for them to come down.

"Oh man!" Dylan said. "Have you two missed a lot."

"Rory died!" Lee said, "But…"

"WHAT?" Shane exclaimed, his dark eyebrows slanting furiously.

"It's okay!" Chris said, putting his hands on Shane's shoulders. "Jared brought him back to life. Homemade ER shock treatment."

Jared's eyes darted uncomfortably to the left and right of Shane's proud gaze. "I told you you'd save all our asses one day, ya dork." Jared shrugged his shoulders coyly in response.

"Rory's recovering now." Chris continued. "Wyatt just wanted a moment alone with him."

"How did it happen?" Tristan asked the room. "I mean, if it was enough to take Rory out…"

"Well," Leo said. "According to Wyatt, he and Rory were all in some sort of dark, crystal prison for Whitelighters, miles underwater. But, they don't know exactly where. Apparently Rory rescued me before Wyatt rescued him."

Shane's expression tensed and darkened. "But I thought Rory was here when Wyatt came earlier."

Chris' eyes scrambled from left to right as he tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. As it dawned on him, he stared back at Shane.

"Oh no…" Shane said under his breath.

Chris nodded in agreement. "He's trying to take the curse from Rory."

"WYATT!" Shane screamed furiously as he and Chris darted up the stairs.

"Wyatt, you get the (censored) away from him!"

As everyone began to shoot up the stairs to Rory and Wyatt, Piper gripped Steve by the arm. "What the Hell does all this mean?" she snapped. "And you're not moving an inch until you tell me! Got it?"

Steve gulped, anxiously watched the others run up the stairs, and looked nervously back at his mother and father. He made sure that Lee was out of ear shot before he spoke. "Lee can't know this… and hopefully Wyatt won't ever have to."

"We already know that part!" griped Piper. "Gimme something new or I'll blast those pretty green eyes right outta their sockets."

Steve frowned, fearing his mother's wrath. "The curse that Chris was gonna fall under, and then Rider and Riley… in alpha…"

"Alphabetical order as to not imply preference, blah, blah, blah!" snapped Piper. "There're gonna be 8 that live mourning 2 in a second!"

"Well," Steve nervously went on, "it makes even the most innocent person feel like a murderer: a murderer who's just killed someone they loved."

"Right!" Piper quipped. "And?"

"Well…"

"Eyes Steven! EYES!" Piper growled, gripping Steve's shirt with two clinched fists, pulling him over a foot down to her eye level.

"Well," Steve gulped, "Wyatt already has killed somebody he loved."

Piper released Steve's shirt with a twitch and froze in ghostly stillness. "Wha-… How could… But not…" Piper struggled to put words together.

Steve looked mournfully back into his shaken mother's eyes, as Leo did his best to calm her with his arms.

"Wyatt…Wyatt killed the one to mourn." Steve painfully admitted. "Wyatt killed Rory's twin brother. If the curse brings those memories back…Who knows what he'll do?"