A/N: Thank you all for the reviews! I never got so many reviews for just one chapter. I'm flattered. You guys are awesome! Psycho Vanny sure got lots of love xD (oh and I'm sure anyone who calls him Vanny would be decapitated by X-Blade but I just can't resist this nickname xD. Honestly at least it's better than the one Japanese people give him which is…"Bunny" coz Japanese can't pronouns V-sound instead they say it "B"-sound xD)
As for this chapter, it's mainly from Sora's pov, so you'll see some SoRoku here xD. Like I said in my profile, Sora is always Seme in my opinion, it's just that in this fic it just happens that he have to bottom for once…so plz don't expect him to be your stereotypical Uke in this fic, coz he's not. (And I have some Sora x Vanitas fics if anyone is interested…xD)
HEARTLESS
03
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You will always find Light, even in the deepest Darkness.
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He feels himself surrounded by absolute Darkness. He is falling, keeps falling.
This experience isn't new, this feeling is familiar. He even somewhat fondly remembers it.
He once again has used the keyblade to free his own heart, once again he becomes a "Heartless".
Not counting the Seven Princess, all hearts have darkness, and he is no exception.
So he becomes a "Heartless", once again.
But this time, there will be no "light" to guide him back anymore.
Sora smiles weakly, maybe this time, he indeed will disappear completely into the darkness.
His heart hurts; the heart that is surrounded by the darkness is throbbing painfully.
Unbeknownst to himself, his heart is already scarred by so many incurable wounds.
He suddenly thinks back to the nostalgic memories of his life on the Island, boring and monotonous, but peaceful times.
Now, those memories are getting more and more distant from him, more and more blurred. Just like the first time, he soon will even "forget" who he is.
- Who am I?
Before he has turned 14, he is just like any other boy, an ordinary kid living an ordinary life.
But now, he is everyone's high hopes. He is the "mighty Key Bearer" who must defeat the evil to save the worlds again and again. He must save the ones who suffer from miserable fates.
But the truth is, he can not save anyone.
This heart, corroded by agony, sorrow, confusion and despair, has already lost its original strength. Who could it save now?
He has once said to Xemnas that there's more to a "heart" than just anger, hate, sadness or such negative sentiments. It's full of all kinds of feelings, including sincere, joy, courage, love and so many other positive things as well. He doesn't think for once that what he has said is wrong. Yet he now knows the fact that he had not truly experienced any of the real anger, agony and grief at the time he spoke. The boy back then had no clue how unbearable such feelings really are.
Ever since he has gained the power of the Keyblade, all things have become complex, too complicated and way beyond his understanding.
Although only occasionally, he has thought that maybe what Ariel's father, King Triton has said is really true, maybe that the key bearers indeed are the source of all disaster, only shattering peace, bringing ruin and chaos. He also has his doubts, like why the Keyblade has chosen him, not some other ordinary boy? Is it just because he has Ventus within his heart? Aqua has once told him, he is the only keyblade-wielder who never received the formal Keyblade Succession Rite. What does that have to mean?
- Why did the Keyblade choose me?
To gain is to lose. The Keyblade has vested him unmatched power and strength, but at what cost?
No one knows how much he wishes, if possible, to revert back to the old simplistic "Sora," that carefree, ignorant but happy "Sora."
"Doubt" and he becomes more confused.
"Learns" and the pain become more unbearable.
"Remembers" and the more grief he goes through.
The chain of memories of his own, the chain of locked memories of those whose hearts connect to him, the once lost but now remembered chain of memories of their past…so many chains have shackled his heart, so heavy that leaves him breathless. Not even his "key" would be able to unlock his chains.
He wonders, would it be better if he had no heart? If there was no heart, he wouldn't have felt the sadness and loneliness when separated from his friends and people important to him, and he wouldn't have felt the anger and hate when recalling the unjust fate forced upon them, nor would he have felt the despair of being powerless to save those who have made him as who he is.
But if there was no heart, wouldn't he also become unable to feel the happiness and joy from the time he spends with his friends? Without a heart, the laughters and tears of living, his love for a certain person, none of them would exist anymore.
Sora opens his sky-blue eyes, wanting to have a last look at a certain blonde haired boy from his memory.
Roxas, at least he has freed him. At least he has returned "existence" to him. He might be unable to save other people, but at least he has granted Roxas's wish.
He knows his Nobody wants his freedom, he knows he never wanted to return to him, he has always known his Nobody's desire for independent existence, not as "Sora," but as "Roxas."
At last…this is the only thing he can do for him.
So, he does not regret it.
Becoming a Heartless once again, he does not regret it.
The absurd forbidden feelings he has had towards his own Nobody have puzzled him even more - what the hell is the heart's true essence?
The "heart" indeed is a complicated thing, not even Ansem the Wise's sophistic machine could decipher it.
Such thing as human's "heart"…
Sora smiles, closing his eyes again.
Like the other things from his memory, the dazzling golden hair which so much resembles the "light" is also gradually fading away into the darkness…
Soon, he will lose all of his "light".
"Sora…wake up…wake up…"
Who? Who is calling him? With a sound of metallic texture, it is not a familiar voice.
"Sora… you can't sleep, you can't let your heart sleep…"
Those ice-cold hands are gently shaking his shoulders. As soon as they touch him, Sora suddenly feel like his lifetime memories are like put on a slide-show and start quickly to playback.
Xi…
Yes, that voice, that is his "memory," it used to have a name, it was called…it was called….
"I…whatever I am…doesn't matter…Can't…can't let you…hurt Sora…"
"Xion, there's nothing you can do here, now get out of my way."
…Xi…Xion? Xion! !
Instantly, his head starts to hurt, his heart starts to hurt.
What matters the most is remembered the least.
But no, he still remembers. Thanks god he has not "forgotten" it yet.
"Xion, Sora is mine."
Wait, that voice, whose voice is that one? And why does it sound so much like his own?
- Humph humph humph…
Dark, cruel, twisted laughter, why it sounds so familiar? Who is he? Who is he? Who is he?
His life-memory slide show suddenly stops at the age of four.
"Sora, be a good boy."
A black-haired man had his large hands covering a young brunet boy's small ones over the hilt of a black keyblade, helping the kid to hold the ominous Key firmly –
Why did the Keyblade choose me?
- Because I have chosen you.
A/N again: If you don't understand what the last question and answer means, please read Unversed, then you'd know why Vanny said that xD. Okay, not much happened in this chapter, I just want to throw in the SoRoku part xD. But I promise next chapter would be more…intense, mmmm…
Please review so I'll update soon. XD