Leftovers in the Kitchen

To Paige, Lee was, and would always be, a bit of an enigma. Even in his sadder moments, he kept an element of subtle playfulness. Naturally, it was accompanied by the occasional sigh and an expected lack of energy, but no matter how far down Lee seemed to sink, it was clear that he'd be floating again before long; it was just his way to let the sea toss him around until it spit him back out again.

There was also his genuine kindness. No matter what life threw at him, he never lost his childlike fascination with the world around him; whereas most people would succumb to jadedness, Lee would find hope through mere curiosity. That didn't make his sadder moments any easier for those who witnessed them to bear.

That night, in the dimly lit kitchen, Lee alone sat at the table, his fingers wrapped around a steadily warming glass of his magical juice, and his still gaze resting wearily on the silver-lined front page of a grey-blue velvety journal.

"Ya mind answering a little question for me?" asked Paige, plopping down in the chair adjacent to Lee's.

Lee shrugged casually. "Sounds harmless enough, I guess"

"It's snowing outside my bedroom window." There was a playful suspicion in Paige's eyes. "In fact... it's snowing outside all of the windows on what I'm told is 'my' wing of the house. Now... why do you suppose that is?"

In a friendly, if somewhat subdued voice, Lee answered, "Most of the windows on your side of the Manor are enchanted; in the future, since the four main wings of the house are underground, everyone thought it'd be too dreary to not have any windows to look out of. So, there was a spell cast to make it seem like there was a yard outside the windows."

"Jeez, what didn't you guys think of?" said Paige. "How did we manage to get away with that?"

"The rules of personal gain are a lot more relaxed in the future, especially for the kids." said Lee, sounding like a young professor. "The Elders understood the importance of our family living under one roof; it was too dangerous for us to separate with all of the attacks."

"Oh... I get it," said Paige, with a satisfied smile. "It'd be too gloomy to be Anne Frank-ing it in the basement, so they gave us a little slack in the magic department."

"Bingo." said Lee. "There are spells to change the seasons too; you just say them whenever you want the scene to change."

Paige, genuinely astounded, asked, "You wouldn't happen to have these spells written down by any chance, would'ya?"

The tip of Lee's index finger began to glow with a subtle golden light as he slowly moved it towards Paige's nose. "My E.T. impression's not very good, but if it were I'd say..." He lightly tapped the tip of his aunt's nose. "Be... Good..."

The light from Lee's finger flowed from the tip of Paige's nose, throughout her body, tickling her insides and causing her to shudder. "What did you just do to me?"

Lee smiled. "You wouldn't happen to know the spell for Spring would'ya?"

As she looked curiously at Lee, Paige heard her own voice echoing inside her mind:

Behind this glass, let it be seen
The season when the leaves grow green

The sensation of "remembering" that which she had never known gave Paige the chills. "Whoa!" she exclaimed. "That... was amazing."

"Aw shucks; weren't nuthin' to it." said Lee, "I also gave you a head start in a few other departments, but don't tell anybody."

"And just what departments are we talkin' about here?"

"It's a surprise." said Lee.

Everything about Lee told Paige that he could really stand to get a few things off of his chest. She also sensed that he had inherited the same stubborn Halliwell pride that had prevented his mother from voicing the times she could've used an ear herself. "Mind if I change the subject?" she asked nonchalantly.

Not waiting so much as half a second for a reply, Paige began, "Here's the thing: I've got this nephew from the future who feels guilty for existing because his semi-possessed older brother told him he didn't have the right to be alive. On top of that, this same semi-possessed older brother filled him with the fear that he may never be born unless said brother kills a different older brother that he never even knew existed. Now he's thinking he'd like to prevent the murder this second time around even if there's the possibility he might not be born as a result." She paused only to take a breath. "I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what an aunt should say in this kind of situation."

By now Lee's eyes were doubled in size. "How's that workin' out for ya?"

Paige sighed in frustration. "Nothin'; I got nothin'!"

"Can I make an observation?" Lee asked politely.

Though she eyed him suspiciously, Paige replied, "Sure; that sounds harmless enough I guess."

"You're about as subtle as a volcano."

Paige winced. "And here I thought that was just a nasty rumor."

"That's what I used to think," said Lee, almost apologetically, "but I'm afraid the evidence is starting to pile up."

"So I'm busted, huh?" said Paige, jovially feigning defeat. Then, leaning sneakily forward, she asked "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

Lee folded his arms proudly. "Not even a lie detector test could drag it out of me!"

"Uh huh." Paige sarcastically replied. "I think the redness of your face would be singin' like a canary."

"Well, there is that." Lee said self-effacingly.

"Now then," said Paige, "can I make an observation?"

Lee took a deep breath and squinted in preparation. "Okay, I'm ready."

"You and your brothers have mastered the art of the subject change."

That wasn't so bad, Lee thought. "And here I thought that was just a nasty rumor."

Paige smiled. "Is it me, or has this happened before?"

Lee bobbed his head in affirmation. "Must be one of those past life thingies."

"Thingies?"

"That's the scientific term."

"Ah! I see." said Paige, playing along. "So... that's what passes for science in the future, eh?"

Lee shrugged. "Hey, it's Hilary Duff's world; we're just livin' in it."

Nice try, little one. "Okay," Paige began, "before I get suckered into your little Hilary Duff tangent..."

"Dang, you're good." Lee exclaimed in disappointment. "No wonder your four kids never get away with anything."

Paige's ears did a double take. "Wait a minute; four kids? But Shane only said..." but she soon caught herself. "Ooh, you sneeeaky little boy," she playfully accused. "You almost had me."

The two exchanged a brief chuckle, then both grew quiet.

Paige decided she would wait for a moment, giving Lee the chance to speak on his on, but the moment grew uncomfortably long. It eventually became clear that prompting would be necessary if she wanted to get anything out of Lee, at least when he was in this sort of mood. "Quarter for your thoughts?"

Lee scratched his head. "A quarter? Did they raise the price or something?"

"I just figured, with inflation and all, that thoughts probably cost more than a penny in the future."

Lee wanted to laugh, even if only to be polite, but had to settle for a slight smile. "Well, today you'd be getting change back." he said. "In fact, it'd be kinda like therapy, so I'd be paying you."

"Nonsense! Family is strictly pro bono and the doctor is in." Paige said enthusiastically. "What's on your mind?"

With friendly sarcasm, Lee asked, "What makes you think something's on my mind?"

"Oh let's see..." said Paige, rolling her eyes and starting to count on her fingers. "Your brothers are all in the attic and you're in here alone; that glass of juice is just as full as it was half-an-hour ago; and now you're reading a book without any words... All logic would dictate that you're having a bit of an 'off' day."

"I promised Chris I wouldn't leave the table until I drank the juice." said Lee.

"So... You do realize that would make you the active participant in this scenario, right?"

Lee dodged the question, or so he thought. "...and this is a Man-in-the-Moon book. Rory gave it to me right before you came in."

"Rory?" Paige flinched with surprise. "I didn't even think he could walk."

"Well, he is a quick healer, but even then..." Lee's shoulders raised and fell in an 'oh-well' sort of gesture. "I saw one scar on the back of his hand; other than that, he seemed good as new... Better than new, actually."

"Jared's little lightening fist maybe?" Paige wondered aloud. "Then again, coming back from the dead can do funny things to a person. Trust me; I know."

"I guess," said Lee, unconvinced but having no better theories of his own.

Tired of avoiding the issues at hand, Paige said, "Well, clearly we're both good dancers, so we could either keep dancing around the subject for the rest of the night, or you could tell me what's really going on in that clever head of yours."

Lee had had enough experience with Paige to know that she wasn't going to let up until all of her questions were answered to her satisfaction, though he had hoped that this part of her personality hadn't surfaced at this point in her life. No such luck.

"Honestly," Lee said somberly, "I feel like the extra brother they threw in for free because Mom was one of the first onehundred callers. I mean, there's a reason it's called the Ring of Nine and not the Ring of Nine Plus One in Case Somebody Calls in Sick.. or Dead in this case."

"Ya know Lee," Paige began, her voice calm and mellow, "If you're looking for a witch who knows what it means to feel like a replacement, then I'm your girl."

"No offence, Aunt Paige," Lee said cautiously, "but there's no way that the Whitelighter Queen could possibly know how it feels to be a leftover."

"The Whitelighter what?"

"That's your nickname in the future."

"Really!" asked Paige, with a tinge of pride, "I'll bet that job comes with a good parking spot..."

"Anyway, back to the point," she continued, "I would've never become a Charmed One if your Aunt Prue not died. So the cold hard truth is: I am a replacement... or 'leftover' as you call it."

The idea had never dawned on Lee that Paige, the wisest and most influential whitelighter he had ever known, might never have come to be such, were it not for the death of his late Aunt Prue. In a way, their situations were remarkably similar; neither would wish for a sibling to die, but they'd be lying to say they weren't thankful to be who and what they were.

"Never thought of that." said Lee, though his spirits still weren't lifting.

"Okay, that's it." Paige said determinedly, "Time for an attitude adjustment."

"What attitude?" Lee asked, mildly defensive.

"It's like the sun needs a new lightbulb or something."

"The Sun just went down, Aunt Paige; that's what it's supposed to do" said Lee. "Don't worry; it'll be back tomorrow."

Paige groaned in frustration. "Oh boy; you really are your parents' child aren't you." she said. "Admit it, though; you're not normally the moping type."

"Actually, that's not entirely true." Lee said conversationally. "I'm a serial moper."

"Meaning what? You run from house to house and mope at each one?"

Lee couldn't help but laugh a bit. "More like I mope frequently but for very, very short periods of time."

Catching his train of thought, Paige said, "I get it; you're a sprinting moper instead of cross-country."

Lee nodded. "Steve calls them 'mood sneezes', because that's about how long they last."

Speaking like a mother who'd caught her child in a tiny lie, Paige replied, "Well then, it sounds like you've caught yourself a little cold, wouldn't you say?"

Unable to disagree, Lee nodded reluctantly. "Wouldn't you say I've earned it?"

"Kid, you're breakin' mah heart here." said Paige, half-jokingly. "Of course you've earned it; I just don't wanna see you let this little episode taint that sunny face of yours." Then voicing her deepest concern, she said, "Just... promise me you'll turn back into the rosey cheeked optimist I met this morning before you guys leave us, 'kay?"

The sun got a new lightbulb; it was only about the strength of a nightlight, but it was a light nonetheless. He'd be back before long. "You bet." he affirmed.

"Just remember this," said the concerned aunt. "According to that little Anne Rice poem, 1 of you was meant to die, but 9 of you were meant to live... and that puts you right in the VIP section."

"Who's Anne Rice?"

"Oh... She wrote the Interview with the Vampire Books."

"She interviewed a vampire?"

Paige laughed to see Lee turn back into the youngest child in the family, where a temporarily troubled man had just been. "You've really got this 'baby brother' act down, don't ya?"

Lee tilted his head and stroked his chin, smiling pensively. "Actually, it's pretty challenging," he said. "I just make it look easy."