Reality

It was strange sitting there watching television while three tiny humans wiggled and gurgled in the gated off area on the floor. Like life had completely titled on its axis or something. But there he was, sparing glances between his favorite game show and babies that were already starting to look like their fathers. Even the little girl had some of Ichigo's look about her, but it could have been her ridiculous colored hair, he thought fleetingly before getting angry with himself that he was even thinking like that.

He wasn't quite sure how it had happened but he was alone for the most part, Grimmjow off in the corner at his desk and typing away at what he called work. Nnoitra wondered if he had been serious about that or if he was just amusing himself while Nnoitra sat uncomfortable in his living room. He wondered why he had been left basically alone with the babies in the first place. He sent a fleeting glance at the floor and frowned as one of the boys, he still couldn't remember which, scrunched up his face but didn't cry. It looked like he was straining a bit but before the thought could go any further in his mind a horrible stench caught in his nostrils and he covered his face.

"Ah shit Grimm! Somethin' crawled in yer son's ass and died!"

Grimmjow shook his head and finished up what he was typing before he stood and stretched. "Since when did you get so dramatic?"

"Since when didja become okay with horrible smells in yer house?"

"I got over that the first week. Believe me, it was worse back then."

Nnoitra's eyes seemed to widen further in disbelief but his hand stayed over his nose and mouth as he watched Grimmjow approach.

"Like worse than my house used to get in the summer?" He asked, his voice muffled by his hand.

Grimmjow wrinkled his nose. "I don't think anything could have been as bad your house in the summer. That was years of neglect piling up there."

"Well it didn't help when ya brought home cats." Nnoitra grumbled, backing away from the offensive odor as Grimmjow grabbed a few items off a nearby table and knelt beside Taichi.

"Yer gonna do that here?" Nnoitra asked incredulously.

"Why not?" Grimmjow still couldn't seem to hold back a grin. It was too fun watching the expressions on Nnoitra's face at the whole ordeal.

"That's gross. I'm goin' outside for a cigarette."

Once he slid the door shut he sighed and pulled out his pack of smokes. Three left. Damn, he was going to have to get more soon. Sure the job he had been sent out on had paid a lot of money but for various reasons it was practically gone and none of those reasons were entirely Nnoitra's fault. He sighed out a plume of smoke and leaned against the terrace's short wall. It usually didn't bother him to tell Grimmjow anything, usually didn't bother him to say anything that was on his mind, but he had kept more than a few details about his last job hidden. One reason was because he was afraid of looking like even more of an idiot than everyone assuredly already thought, his pride sticking up it's ugly head and preventing him from even asking for the help he knew he was going to need eventually. The second reason was new and he scowled down at the street below because of it. For all the heartless fool he played he was considerate enough not to want to involve a family in his problems. Especially a happy one.

It wasn't that he understood what a happy family was, having never experienced it himself, but for the first time in all the years he had known Grimmjow he seemed… content. Happy. And the scariest thing of all for Nnoitra was that he seemed mellower and slightly complacent. Before, when they had been younger, those traits would have meant the difference between life and death, even after they had started living with Szayel and his father it hadn't exactly been all fun and games. There had been plenty of times they all had been put in situations that had things gone differently one or all of them would have ended up dead or with a life sentence in prison. None of that had really mattered back then though. It wasn't as if anyone would miss them when they were gone.

Nnoitra groaned and took another long pull from his cigarette. He hated thinking things through, even if it did make it easier. He always seemed to reflect on things a lot more than he wanted to and it left him feeling like more of an adult than he ever wanted to. Szayel, during one of their arguments when they had been teenagers, had once told him he was suffering from a disease known as the Peter Pan syndrome. Of course the asshole hadn't explained what the hell he was talking about and when Nnoitra finally got sick of wondering and looked it up and almost laughed at what he read. Socially immature? At the time he had agreed with it fully, even bought the book The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up. Of course he hadn't read the thing until years later and only because he had been bored out of his mind with lack of work. Lately it had seemed to take on a darker meaning, his lack of want for things to change, to "grow up".

"Fuck." He flicked the cigarette butt over the side of the wall and stood up straight, stretching his long limbs with several satisfying pops. "Thinkin' like a fuckin' emo bitch." He mumbled to himself as he retreated back inside.

Ichigo was just leaving the hospital that night, having stopped by to check on a couple patients he had seen the day before, when he ran into one of his least favorite colleagues. The man pushed his glasses up his nose and did his best to look down at him even if he was shorter.

"Kurosaki."

"Ishida."

"Uryuuuuu!" A loud and energetic voice called out and the both of them turned to see a young woman bouncing up to them.

Ishida seemed slightly flustered; the fingers of his right hand fidgeting with his stethoscope and a light pink blush creeping up the back of his pale neck.

"I thought I asked you not to come to my work." He said, his voice cold.

The young woman smiled regardless and held up a bento. "But you forgot your dinner. I didn't want you going hungry. And what are wives for?"

Ichigo nearly choked. This was his wife? He took another look at the woman, taking in her long dark orange hair, her wide, innocent brown eyes, and her ridiculously large bosom.

"Oh! Is this a friend of yours, Uryuu?"

"Not at all. What are you doing just standing there, Kurosaki?"

"Ah…." Ichigo had no come back for that as he was still quite sure life had ceased to make sense. There was no way in hell this was this man's wife.

"I'm Orihime, nice to meet you!" The young woman stuck out her hand and Ichigo stared stupidly at it.

"Just ignore idiots like him. How he got an internship here I'll never know. Since you're here let's go eat this in the cafeteria."

Ishida led the woman off with Ichigo staring confusedly after them. Yes, he was pretty sure hell had frozen over. Things hadn't gotten any better by the time he had gotten home. He walked through the front door to see his daughter sleeping soundly on Nnoitra's chest, the man himself dosing as if he did things like this every day. Grimmjow was on the floor with the boys, slowly rubbing Taichi's back as he slept and helping Sorin stretch far enough to gnaw on his heel.

"What the hell is he doing holding my daughter?" He whispered as he shut the door quietly.

Grimmjow looked up at him before looking over at the duo on the couch and shrugging. "She likes him."

Ichigo scowled and took his coat off, leaving it on the opposite end of the couch from where Nnoitra was sitting. He reached down and picked up Sorin, watching Grimmjow get to his feet as well. The taller man leaned in for a kiss, careful not to crush the tiny body between them. Sorin had screamed at them once for doing that and after their hearing had returned they had never done it again.

"How was work?"

"Don't change the subject. Why is he still here?"

Grimmjow sighed and picked up Taichi, careful not to wake him, and motioned for Ichigo to follow his to the nursery.

"He just needs a place to crash for a couple days so I told him he could stay here."

"But…!"

"Plus he really helped me out today. Surprisingly." When Ichigo continued to scowl Grimmjow set Taichi in his crib and kissed him once again. "He'll be gone by the end of the weekend. I'm not gonna kick him to the curb, Ichigo. He's the closest thing I have to a brother so he's family as far as I'm concerned."

Ichigo deflated slightly and Grimmjow had to fight back his grin. He had known that line would work even though a part of him had felt like an idiot for saying it. Nnoitra surely would have called him a woman for saying it and for even caring what Ichigo thought in the first place.

"I thought we could order out tonight so what do you want?"

Ichigo shrugged. "I don't care." He set Sorin in his crib and scratched the back of his head. "I just want to relax. I saw fourteen patients today who had absolutely nothing wrong with them. People are so stupid sometimes. One woman brought her daughter in because she scraped her knee."

"Doting parents…."

"No, that's beyond doting. That's… crazy obsessive." Ichigo sighed.

Grimmjow slowly wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close, pressing his lips softly against his. Sorin gurgled and tossed a teething ring out of the crib unbeknownst to his fathers. Grimmjow tugged Ichigo's ear lobe between his teeth and whispered, "It's been a few days, ya know? We could ignore Nnoi and eat in the bedroom. Naked."

Ichigo blushed but smiled. "Pervert. And you hate eating in bed."

"Didn't say we were gonna eat in the bed idiot." Grimmjow grinned, seeing that the idea was already making Ichigo feel better. Food and sex and quiet; three things that rarely happened at the same time anymore.

"Dude, yer kid bit my nipple."

Ichigo pushed Grimmjow back and glared up at Nnoitra who was standing in the doorway holding Tomoe. She seemed to be fascinated by his dark hair at the moment and was tugging on it as the tall man sneered. Grimmjow laughed but didn't reach for his daughter. Earlier that day he had made that mistake and Tomoe had let out the loudest scream he had heard her make. The moment he let go she curled her small fingers in Nnoitra's shirt and refused to let go, much to Nnoitra's already compounded discomfort.

"Too bad she doesn't have teeth yet." Ichigo grumbled and pulled Tomoe from Nnoitra's grasp.

Nnoitra almost snatched her back out of impulse, he hated it when people just took things from him, but enjoyed the look on Ichigo's face, if not the noise, that the action granted them all. Tomoe scrunched up her face and her eyes filled with angry tears as she threw back her head and wailed. Ichigo almost dropped her having not heard a noise quite like it, and looked up accusingly at Nnoitra.

"What the fuck did you do to my daughter?"

"I didn't fuckin' do anything!"

With all the noise Sorin had decided to give his two cents with his own screeching wail and Taichi, who had rolled over on his stomach was fussing up at the ceiling. Grimmjow rolled his eyes and grabbed Tomoe out of Ichigo's arms, placing her back in Nnoitra's and replacing her with Sorin. He picked up Taichi and sighed as the noise level died down.

"Both of you shut the fuck up. I hate it when they cry."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and hugged Sorin. "I still don't see why I have to…."

Grimmjow kissed him. "Who's hungry? I'm fuckin' starving." He smiled down at Taichi and wiped a few tears off his chubby cheeks. "And it's time for your dinner too isn't it?"

He walked out of the room with Nnoitra sneering at him and Ichigo rolling his eyes.

"He tuned into a fuckin' chick." He mumbled and winced when Tomoe pinched him.

"Just because he grew up and you didn't doesn't mean he's a chick, asshole." Ichigo snapped before leaving the room.

"Tch." Nnoitra shifted his weight and looked down at dark orange hair. "I didn't come back here to be a fuckin' babysitter."

Tomoe gave him a drooling smile and rested her forehead against his chest. Nnoitra sighed and decided to go see what was for dinner.

"Hirako-san!"

Shinji jumped and looked guiltily up at one of his employees. "Huh?"

"HIrako-san, are you alright? You've been spacing out all afternoon."

"Sorry. What were ya sayin'?"

Kin, the man he had set to run the bar, sighed and looked down at his clipboard.

"We've been getting a lot of requests for mixed drinks, specifically ones mixed with vodka but we've had a few complaints about the brands we don't carry. I'd like to keep at least one or two bottles of some finer product on hand for those people who are willing to pay a little extra for it."

"Which brands?"

"We've been asked about Bong, Han and one woman specifically asked about Stolichnaya Elit."

Shinji frowned as he tried to place the names. "I don't see why we don't have those already. Go ahead and buy a case of each and we'll keep them in stock. Mix them in and see what the reaction is. If people like them better than what we have now we'll weed out the stuff we're usin' and up the price a bit."

"Right."

"Was there anything else?"

"No, Hirako-san. That was everything." Kin turned to leave and Shinji sighed.

"I toldja at call me Shinji!" He called after the man and wasn't the least bit surprised when he was ignored. He really didn't like being spoken to so formally but supposed that since he was a business man in Japan he'd have to get used to it to some degree.

It had been almost two days since Nnoitra had showed up unexpectedly at his doorstep and he still couldn't stop thinking about the man. He looked fleetingly at the clock and yawned. He had resorted to sleeping pills again the night before but had still woken up tired. He knew that he shouldn't be doing it but he had no desire to dream about the man. It would be inevitable now that he was back to think about him, but he really wanted to just forget him and everything that had happened between them. It was so much easier to deal with things if you forgot about them and pushed them back down. It wasn't the best way but it was all he could do at the moment.

When his phone rang his heart jumped up to his throat and he had to take a deep breath before answering.

"Please tell me you're not busy right now." Ichigo's voice came through the speaker loud and clear.

"Not really. What's up?" He asked, leaning back in his chair and setting his feet up on his desk.

"It's my day off and I have some running around to do and… well I could use some help. I have the triplets with me and…."

Shinji laughed. Ichigo was a good father but he wasn't the best at coordinating things for outings with all three kids, especially by himself.

"In other words ya need some more hands, ne?"

"Yeah."

"Well ya gotta come get me then. I'll let everyone here know I'm takin' off for a while."

Twenty minutes later they were on their way to a shopping center and Ichigo had launched into a litany of complaints. Shinji wasn't sure if he should be amused, horrified, or if he should just tell Ichigo to shut up since the majority of his complaints had to do with Nnoitra.

"And to top it all off I had to literally rip Tomoe out of his arms this morning and left the house with her screaming her head off. Of course he thought it was the funniest damn thing ever. I don't get why she's like that. I mean, I know it shouldn't but it kinda… makes me feel weird when she attaches herself to other men like that. She's the same way with you."

"That's because I'm the coolest uncle ever."

Ichigo sighed as he pulled into the underground parking unit. "I'm sorry. I know you probably don't want to even hear his name."

"I'm fine, Ichi. I mean, it's weird, but I'm fine."

Ichigo pulled into a spot and turned off the car before turning to him and scowling. "You sure? You're not gonna do something stupid again are you?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Ichi. That was an accident. I wasn't trying to kill myself."

"For not trying you almost succeeded, Shin. I don't ever want to have to be the one to treat you in the emergency room ever again."

Shinji's apparent addiction to pills started up after the accident four years prior when he had been prescribed three different kinds of pain medication along with sleeping pills to help him out. One night he had taken one too many and ended up having to be rushed to the emergency room to have his stomach pumped. It really had been an accident but the guy he had been with that night had never spoken to him again. The topping on the cake that night had been that Ichigo had been the only intern there who wasn't already with a patient and he had to be the one to both sedate and pump his best friend.

"Guh, yer such a nag." Shinji smiled and slapped Ichigo's shoulder playfully. "Let's go shoppin'."

"Are ya sure he ain't gonna be there?" Shinji asked for the third time as he shifted heavy bags and Tomoe in his arms.

"Yes, I called Grimm and he said Nnoitra's been gone most of the day, now shut up and quit asking." Ichigo snapped.

The minute the front door was open Grimmjow was swooping down with a kiss for Ichigo, pulling bags out of his hands and taking one of the boys from his arms.

"The fuck you do, buy the whole damn store?"

Ichigo blushed. "Their clothes are getting too tight." He defended and Grimmjow only grinned at him.

"Yer pretty brave comin' here. Nnoi could be back any time."

"I'm not afraid of that asshole." Shinji bit out and resisted the urge to turn around and glance at the door.

"Didn't say you were." He fingered Tomoe's chin and smiled sweetly when she grinned at him.

"See! She's got my fuckin' grin!"

Ichigo shook his head. "I'm not sure that's a good thing." He muttered.

"You love my grin."

"I love your grin because it's hot. I'm not entirely sure I want my daughter having such a weapon."

Shinji rolled his eyes and kissed Tomoe's head. "Yer daddy's 're gonna be a total pains in the ass when ya get at be a teenager."

"You shut up." Ichigo said as he placed Sorin on the floor and began to pull out all the items he and Shinji had picked out.

Tomoe and Sorin were now sitting up on their own for the most part but Taichi was still having trouble rolling over without help. Grimmjow had asked the pediatrician if that was normal for twins to develop at different stages and the man had smiled and nodded, assuring him that there was nothing wrong with a late bloomer. Despite all that Taichi seemed to have mastered getting up on his hands and knees and making an effort at crawling even if it was only rocking wiggles. Shinji eyed Tomoe as she threw her chubby arms in the air and ended up smacking Sorin in the face.

"Tomo-chan's violent, seems she got that from ya too." He said to Grimmjow and received a middle finger for his comment.

Sorin used his teething ring and hit Tomoe back, resulting in a half assed and short lived war between the two before their attention was drawn elsewhere. Shinji picked Tomoe up and cuddled her close.

"That meanie Sorin, hittin' ya." He cooed and Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Don't encourage her already, Shin."

"Why not? Strong women are good women."

Grimmjow was about to comment when the front door opened and all heads turned to see Nnoitra walk confidently inside. Shinji's eyes widened and his arms clutched Tomoe closer to his chest.

"'Ja'get it?" Grimmjow asked, standing and walking across the room.

Nnoitra's eye had gone immediately to Shinji and he didn't bother looking away as he answered. "Yeah but it's gonna be a few days before I can move in."

"Wait, you're actually getting your own place?" Ichigo asked, surprised.

"Yeah, what of it?" Nnoitra bit out, his gaze finally swaying away from the startled blond.

"Isn't this like the first time you've ever had your own place?"

Nnoitra shrugged and walked towards the terrace. "So?"

He was torn between grabbing Shinji and hauling him right along with him outside so they could speak properly and ignoring him completely. It wasn't that he didn't want to see him, far from it, it was just that he had had a long day and he didn't feel like doing anything other than smoking a cigarette, possibly eating something and then passing out. Between hunting for his first apartment and getting in touch with a few people about securing said apartment against anyone that may or may not be looking for him at the moment, he was exhausted. It would be nice for once to sit back and enjoy himself, but he had too much else going on at the moment for that to happen. Fuckin' people.

Instead of heeding his own thoughts he stopped and looked back at Shinji, a grin pulling his thin lips. "Yo, come'ere." He curled a long finger in the air and almost laughed at Shinji's expression. It took him back to their first interactions years ago.

"Fuck you." He handed Tomoe to Ichigo and walked to the door. "Gotta go Ichi. See ya later."

Before anyone else could say another word Shinji was gone and Nnoitra's grin had faded. He turned and went out to the terrace without comment, leaving Grimmjow and Ichigo with the tension that the two men had left in their wake.

Shinji's heart was racing still when he arrived home and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to calm it with his normal methods. In the past he would have dressed up and gone out man hunting but lately the thought had left a bad taste in his mouth. That left him three options: pills, alcohol or calling his therapist. He sighed and walked to the kitchen, taking a glass from the cupboard and setting it on the counter only to stare at it.

"Fuck." He sighed and pushed the glass away.

Without thinking about what he was doing he grabbed his coat and left the house, deciding to go back to work after all.

Three days and that fucker was still ignoring him. Nnoitra sat back in the chair he was sitting in and closed his eye, sighing as he fidgeted with the pencil he was holding in his hands. He had gone by his house when he was certain Shinji was home only to be ignored. He had called, getting the new number from a reluctant Grimmjow, only to be hung up on. This was his last ditch effort to get the blond alone and even he knew that he was using dirty tactics. Not that he minded it much, it just sucked that he had to resort to things like this. He wasn't even sure what he was going to say when he saw him, having not thought that far ahead. When the door knob turned and the door itself swung open Nnoitra grinned and tried not to move. The light was flipped on and the door was shut before he made his presence known.

"Yo, Blondie."

Shinji jumped visibly and turned to him with wide startled eyes. His lip curled and he reached for the door only to find it wouldn't budge. Quick as a flash Nnoitra had jumped out of his chair and planted the palm of his hand against the door, boxing Shinji in as he leaned down so they were face to face.

"Hey there Mr. Business Man. How things been?"

"Get out of my office." Shinji said between gritted teeth.

"Ya know, yer fuckin' bad at this greetin' shit. I go outta my way to see ya and ya threaten me or ignore me…." He let his sentence trail off at the end.

"Maybe because I don't wanna see ya asshole."

"Bullshit." Nnoitra grinned. "Ya wanna see me so bad but yer just fuckin' afraid."

"I am not afraid of you!" Shinji said, placing his hand firmly on Nnoitra's chest and pushing.

It took a moment to realize that this was the first time either one of them had touched in years and both of them froze, a torrent of conflicting emotions welling inside both of them. Shinji's fingers closed and reopened twice in the this fabric before his hands dropped and he closed his eyes, his brows furrowing as his lip disappeared between his teeth. It had been like an electric shock that coursed through his entire body when they touched and it left him weak in the knees. Nnoitra licked his lips as he tried to control himself. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do first, kiss him, tear off his clothes, hug him, or just lean forward and smell him. The last two thoughts made his blood boil and he sneered. Nnoitra Jiruga did not hug and sniff anyone.

"Ya want me. Ya want me so fuckin' bad yer shakin'. Just give in. let me touch ya. Let me lick ya. Let me fuck 'til ya can't remember how at breath and ya ferget yer own name." He leaned forward a bit more so that his lips hovered over Shinji's. He was shaking too at this point but he told himself it was nothing; just his excitement at finally being so close towhat he wanted. "Yer always so fuckin' uptight. Just let go."

Shinji's eyes snapped open and he glared up at Nnoitra. "I'm shakin' 'cos yer pissin' me off and fer once I'm resistin' the urge to fuckin' hit ya."

Nnoitra chuckled softly and pulled back to see the fire in Shinji's eyes. He loved that fire.

"Fuckin' liar." He let his breath waft across Shinji's face and was pleased when the blonde's eyes rolled closed.

Shinji could feel Nnoitra getting closer, knew that a kiss was eminent and he fought the urge to close the distance himself. God, how he wanted to kiss this man again. It fought against his urge to strangle him and he clenched his hands together in fists at his sides. He could practically taste him when they were both startled by a knock on his office door.

"Hirako-san, is everything okay? I heard a loud bang from in there."

Shinji took a deep breath and pushed Nnoitra away from him, irritated that he regretted the action and that the touch had had the same effect as the first time.

"I'm fine. I'll be out to check the shipment in a moment." He looked up at Nnoitra as he fixed his shirt unnecessarily. "Ya need ta leave. I can't have ya here fuckin' up my work."

"Then answer yer door later." Nnoitra husked out, his violet eye filled with anger and lust.

Shinji glared. "Nothin's changed. Stay away from me."

Before he could be stopped he ripped the door open and left the room. Nnoitra glared after him before sticking his hands in his pockets and kicking a large dent in the side of the metal desk in the room. None of that had come out right even if it had been what he was thinking at the moment. As always his mouth had opened and he had said the first thing that had come to mind. He hated that it bothered him now; hated that he actually wanted to be the kind of guy who could say the right things sometimes. He kicked the desk again and left the room. He had more things to do today anyway and he had already put it off long enough.

A/N AH! I'm so sorry it took so long to get this out. Major computer malfunctions had me kinda off for a bit but everything is fine now. So, I hope this chapter didn't confuse anyone, but if it did I should be slowly explaining things as we go on. Nnoi obviously has some things going on that he's not about to just openly talk about with even Grimmjow and Shinji is still struggling with some rather destructive character traits. Don't worry, not all of them were because of what happened with Nnoi. Shinji has issues, lol. Also, I'm sorry if Nnoi's line of thinking sounds a bit OOC. I'm trying not to let that happen but I always pegged him for being a bit deeper than he let on. Anywho, enough of my rambling, lol. Hope you enjoyed it and if any of you are interested I drew a really crappy NnoiShin sketch and it's featured on my deviantART site. Hope you like it!

~Penny