Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass, but I suppose it's better that way.

Warnings: Intimacy, and may contain strong language

I'm sorry I haven't continued this in half a year... I finally got my new computer, and most of that time has been spent doing homework. I was trying to get into my angsty mood and wrote a one-shot as a result.

I'd like to thank you all again for your wonderful comments :D I only hope you can forgive the long wait.

Lelouch's P.O.V.

Is this real?

I leaned a little into the kiss he surprised me with, but I'm not sure if it's genuine. Does he really care about me...or is he only doing this because he thinks it will cheer me up?...Is what he said about Nunnally true?

I break the kiss, and push him back a little. My gaze shifts away from him, and down towards the bedsheets.

Why does this feel wrong? I love Suzaku, and I should be enjoying this...but I can't shake away the guilt. Wasn't he in love with Euphemia? Am I Euphie's replacement?

I chance a glance at him, and see that he's catching his breath. He smiles warmly, and leans towards me. He captures my lips for a second time today, but instead of kissing back I push him away from me.

"I love you," Suzaku whispers breathlessly. He gently embraces me, and I stiffen.

'H-he loves me? No, that's impossible. Euphie's the one he's always loved. The most I could ever hope for is being second best...'

"Stop it! I'm not Euphemia," I bite out angrily. It's not that I hate my sister. She's dear to me, but I can't stand the thought of being a mere replacement. Even if I...even if I've loved Suzaku for a long time, I don't want to be with him if his feelings aren't genuine. I don't think I could live with that knowledge.

"Euphemia?" Suzaku frowns and tilts his head a little. He's moved away a bit from the embrace to look at me. His eyebrows are knitted together in confusion. "What does this have to do with Euphie?"

I frown. Does Suzaku think this is some kind of joke?

"Lulu, I've never felt this way about Euphie before," he says calmly.

"Don't lie!" I hiss. "After I...," I frown, "after I killed her...you tried to kill me. I bet if I was the one shot that day you wouldn't of cared."

Suzaku's glaring at me. "Don't say things like that!" he shouts angrily. "Of course I'd care."

"You wouldn't. I bet you wished it were me instead of Euphemia. Wished I would've been the one killed from that accident...I wish it would've been me too if I know it'd end like this," I add the last bit more to myself, and turn to look away from him.

"No. God, I'd never wish for your death. Euphemia's death was terrible enough, but I can't even begin to imagine what it would've been like if you were the one killed," Suzaku spoke softly. I could fell his grip on me loosen as his previous anger seemed to be retreating.

I could feel his gaze on me. It was strange how I could almost imagine the intense look in his green eyes, and I sensed a bit of hesitation on his part as the silence stretched on between us. He placed a hand on my cheek, and I could feel him rubbing his thumb along my jaw. His touch was soft, and I could tell he was trying to comfort me. I turned to him slightly, and if I didn't know any better I'd swear his gaze was almost loving...

Why is he doing this to me?

I know I can't exactly expect him to know how I feel, but he's got to know what this is doing to me. It hurts. I can't just pretend we could actually be together. It's a silly ideal, and I know it's impossible for him to actually return my feelings. He's still hung up on Euphemia. It's wrong for me to even try to take her place. We'll never be anything alike. While her nature was passive, I've always taken the more aggressive route.

"I'm sorry," I murmur, and turn away from his touch.

"Lelouch?" I hear Suzaku whisper quietly. It's not hard to hear the concern in his voice. "What's wrong?" he asks lowly as if I might break if he spoke any louder.

I can't believe how much I've actually fallen that even Suzaku knows how vulnerable I've become. I never imagined my barriers would fall like this.

"I," my sentence starts slow, but I can feel myself slipping and losing my nerve.

It's now or never.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time," I continue and turn back to face him.

"Lelouch, you're not-"

"Stop. Please just...let me finish," I plead and wait for his short nod of approval. He looks confused, but he lets me continue.

"Thank you," I try to smile, but it probably doesn't look as genuine as I'd like it to be. "I originally called you out here, because I...well," I swallow what's left of my pride. "I need your forgiveness. I know it's not something I have the right to ask for anymore," I sigh tiredly. Truth be told I'd rather be sleeping than dealing with anything anymore.

He deserves to know the truth. Even if he might not want to hear it...

"Lulu," he calls out to me sadly.

I shake my head. "I suppose it's what I deserve after everything I've done," I murmur to myself. "Suzaku, what happened with Euphie," I pause for a bit when I see a quick look of anger flash through his eyes. It passed quickly, but I knew it wasn't a happy topic for him. "I'm really sorry it had to go the way it did. It wasn't intentional on my part. The Geass got stronger and I no longer held the power to turn it on and off at will. I...I made a joke. A terrible joke, but the Geass activated and," I trailed off to look back down at my hands curled around the bed sheets. The pain in my chest was unbearable. It hurt just thinking about my poor sister's fate.

"Lelouch it-"

"When I still led the Black Knights I could pretend that Euphie died for the greater good. That one day I could create a world she would be proud of. I could pretend that she didn't die in vain, but now that I've been thrown out of my own army I know she did. I killed her, Suzaku. I ended her life early, and there's nothing I have to show for it."

"Lulu-"

"So sorry..." I whisper sorrowfully. I can feel the hot tears streaming down my face, and I can't stop the shaking that wreaks my body. "I'm so sorry, Suzaku. I've made you go through so much already. You didn't deserve to have Euphemia taken from you too. It's my biggest regret. If I...if I could trade places with Euphie, Suzaku," I lift my head to look him in the eyes. "I'd do it in a heartbeat," I finish sincerely.

His emerald green eyes widen in shock, and for a moment he's speechless. He just simply stares, and I turn away again not wanting to face his anger once again. I blame myself enough for her death. He doesn't have to add more grief.

It's now or never I remind myself again.

"I," my eyebrows furrow and more tears seem to start flowing. "I love you, Suzaku. So very much," I can't help but sniff. I'd never imagined telling him. Not in my wildest dreams, and yet here I was spilling everything like a broken journal. "I...I wish we'd never met. At least then I could have avoided causing you so much pain."

He embraces me tightly. I'm surprised at first, and it helps me regain some of my composure.

"Shhh," he whispers soothingly, and rubs small circles on my back. "It's alright, Lulu," he calls softly. He pulls back a little smiling, and raises one of his hands to cup my cheek gently. He brushes some of my tears away, and kisses my cheek.

"I love you too," he speaks sounding sincerely, but I know he can't mean it. I'm not allowed happiness.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear that, Suzaku," I say sadly. "It's a shame I can't in good conscious actually believe you."

Suzaku's kind expression is quickly changed into one of confusion.

"I love you, but...I know you don't actually love me. You can't. It's too soon from Euphemia. If you truly believe you love me, it's because you're trying to latch onto something hoping it'll distract you from what you've lost. I don't want you to give me hope about us having anything when you're just going to retract your feelings in the future," I finish forlornly. "I can understand if you're doing it to spite me, however, I beg you stop this if that's what your true intentions are," I plead. It's cruel and I don't know if I'd be able to manage the hurt. Not when it's something this important.

"Lelouch," he speaks seriously. "Look, I know I'm an ass. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. I was so consumed with my hate for Zero that I didn't even bother to think about you in the matter. I should have known killing Euphie must have been hard for you too, but you can't just write my emotions off as irrational. I've been in love with you for a long time Lulu, and just because you refuse to believe it doesn't mean I'm going to stop anytime soon," he looks pained while he says it, and I can actually hear the sincerity behind his words.

"Suza-"

"Stop it," he quickly interrupts. "I've never loved Euphemia as anything more than a sister. Never," he repeats the word as if to add emphasis. "It's you, Lelouch. You're the one I'm in love with. It's always been you. How can I prove it to you?" Suzaku asks. His posture shows that he's a bit tense from my lack of belief in him.

"I don't-" I start, but before I can finish he's already closed the distance between us again. His arms are securely wrapped around me, and I can feel his slightly chapped lips on mine. His kiss is desperate and makes it hard to focus on anything else.

I can feel different emotions pouring off him. Emotions like love, compassion, desire, and need. It actually hadn't occurred to me that Suzaku was more of a physical being. He's always expressed things better through actions than words.

He pulled away from my mouth and started kissing down to my shoulder. I couldn't suppress the small moan that escaped me as he sucked hard on a particular spot on my neck and lavished it with attention. It seemed to drive him further as his hands wandered around me, exploring all the seemingly uncharted skin before him. I knew his nipping and biting would leave marks, but that was the least of my concerns at the moment. Having Suzaku like this...I imagine it's what heaven would feel like.

He definitely wouldn't be doing this if his feelings weren't genuine. I don't think he could fake this kind of attraction.

His mouth found mine again, and I felt one of his hands gently tug at my hair. It wasn't until I felt a hand nearly grope my private places that I finally managed to snap out of my daze, and re-access the situation.

It had been a really long time since I'd done this with anyone, and the sensations were extremely intoxicating.

I lifted my head a bit to take a quick look at the discarded bed sheet I'd previously been using as a blanket now laying on the floor and I then turned back towards Suzaku. To my surprise he'd somehow managed to shift his position so he was now closer. His legs were on either side of my non injured one, and he was leaning over me.

When had he moved me so I was laying on my back?

I hadn't felt it when he moved me. He must have done it very gently. My body was healing up nicely, but it would still be a long while until I fully recovered.

Suzaku looked flushed, and positively glowing. He was happy, and didn't seem to care at all that we were in a public place in a very public facility. Who knows how many people walked in here normally? He probably found the probability of getting caught exciting.

"Suzaku!" I tried to protest, but it came out sounding weak as he started caressing the sensitive skin around my waist. His hands were under the hospital gown, and he was once again biting and nipping the skin on my neck.

"It's alright, Lelouch," he cooed softly into my ear, and gently sucked on it.

I unexpectedly gave another low moan, and internally cursed myself for urging Suzaku on further. As much as I wanted this, I didn't like idea of having sex in the hospital. It was amazing how careful Suzaku was being with me though. He was paying extremely close attention and avoiding the areas that still hadn't fully healed. Still, I couldn't help but worry that someone would walk in on us.

I turned to face the door, but only got to briefly ponder the possibility before Suzaku cupped my cheek and redirected my gaze to himself.

"Focus on me, Lelouch," Suzaku demanded. His gaze showed a determination I knew belonged solely to him. "It's just you and me alright? Nothing else matters right now. You're the world to me, Lelouch. Let me be the same for you," he whispered quietly and one of his hands trailed up my chest, gently caressing every inch of skin it crossed along the way.

I arched into his touch, and stopped trying to resist him. It was damn near impossible anyway. I felt a jolt of pleasure when I felt he'd finally moved his other hand to grab my length. He was moving his hand up and down slowly while the hand under the gown ghosted over my skin. I'd have to be a liar to say it didn't feel amazing.

I opened my half lidded eyes, and saw he was pacing himself. He was trailing kisses along my jaw, and would occasionally bite me here and there. I don't know if he was purposely trying to mark me or not, but it felt great.

Who knew Suzaku could be so good at this...

"Suzaku..." I muttered weakly, and couldn't suppress the moans that forced themselves out of my throat as I felt the pleasure increase inside me.

"Just relax," he murmured quietly into my ear, but just hearing him like this was...absolutely incredible!

His lips found mine again, and he deepened the kiss. I parted my lips, and soon after felt his tongue invade my mouth. I didn't try to fight him for dominance. Anything he does feels great, and I really wish I could make this pleasure last forever. It appeared as though he was mapping me out.

The hand ghosting around my skin soon joined the other, and Suzaku increased the pressure on me. He sped up the pace. I could feel myself reaching my end as he did so. I felt like I was going to burst any minute.

"Suzaku! I'm-," I cried loudly as I finished, staining his hand and clothes in the process.

My heart was beating incredibly fast and I could feel the effects of sleep washing over me. I vaguely noticed Suzaku sitting up now. He slowly licked my essence off his hand, and gave me a warm smile.

I noticed he was still fully clothed, and felt embarrassed. How could I enjoy myself when I hadn't even bothered attempting to return the favor.

"Aren't you going to...?" I trailed off sounding a bit unsure even to myself as I felt the drowsiness growing in urgency.

"No," he replied cheerfully, I could vaguely see him leaning over me again. He planted a gently kiss on my forehead. "You're still injured, Lelouch. Perhaps we can try it later though," he answered.

I tried to nod, but I'm not sure if it actually came out.

"I'm going to clean up before someone walks in," he answered again, and slowly crawled away from me. He gently lifted my arm and kissed the back of my hand. "I love you, Lulu. We'll talk more when you wake up," he spoke up, and I found myself wishing he'd just stayed with me on the bed.

Suzaku's genuine love and concern were a warm change, and I managed to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

Author's Note: I hope you liked the chapter even though it also wasn't that long. :( I finally managed to finish it today. Over half of it wrote itself, so I hope it didn't turn out bad.

Regarding Next Chapter: This story will be reaching it's ending soon. I suspect that if not next chapter perhaps it'll be the one after that. In any case, because I have been gone and owe you guys, I will be letting you decide in who's POV the next chapter will take place. Options of course being: Lelouch, Suzaku, and C.C. Either tell me in a review or PM...I might just make a poll tomorrow. Not sure yet. =/

Review if you have time~

Thank your for reading :D