Decisions
"But I don't want you to go." Ichigo practically whined as Grimmjow set another case of beer in a cloth bag sitting on the kitchen counter.
Grimmjow sighed and arranged the items he was taking with him tonight. "Ichigo, I'm just gonna go drink and hang out with Nnoi for a while…."
"Yeah but you're leaving tomorrow for three days. Why can't you do it when you get back?"
Grimmjow rolled his eyes and sent a look to Ichigo that clearly conveyed how he felt about this particular conversation. Ichigo had been whining for almost an hour about Grimmjow going out tonight and he was almost ready to snap at him. If it hadn't been for that cute little pout to his mouth and that stupidly adorable sad scowl on his face he probably would have. Instead he was caught between the urge to kiss him or laugh.
"I'm going to go hang out with my friend that I haven't seen in two years. We're gonna watch some TV, drink a few beers…."
"You're taking all the beer in the house!"
"And chat it up." Grimmjow continued on like Ichigo hadn't interrupted him.
"But I hate him. You saw what he did to Shinji." Ichigo pressed, leaning closer to Grimmjow and scowling, in anger this time.
"Yes, I did see what happened to Shinji." He refused to believe it was all Nnoitra's fault what had happened because he knew the blond well enough now that that couldn't possibly be the case. "But I'm still going."
Ichigo tried a different tactic, propping his hip against the counter and pouting up at Grimmjow in earnest. It had worked for him in the past. "But I wanted you to stay home tonight and be with me." Ichigo reached out to finger the bottom of Grimmjow's shirt.
Grimmjow almost lost it then and had to bite his cheek to stop the loud barking laugh he knew was trying to rip itself free. Oh, this was just too much. He turned to Ichigo, hoping that his face was composed, and cupped his cheeks, bringing him close for a quick, gentle kiss.
"I see you every day and every night. You'll live."
Ichigo rolled his eyes and frowned. "Asshole."
He did laugh this time, kissing Ichigo's nose before pulling back to finish packing his bag. "You knew that when you fell in love with me." He said before leaving the kitchen.
"That's not the point." Ichigo called after him.
"Fine, I'll fuck ya nice and good when I get back." Grimmjow yelled from the bedroom.
Ichigo flushed and looked at the kids in the gated off play area near the couch. "Don't say that kinda thing in front of them."
Grimmjow poked his head out of the bedroom door and looked at the kids before looking back at Ichigo and shrugging. "What? It's not like they understand what I'm saying."
Ichigo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. Grimmjow chuckled and approached him, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his cheek.
"Yer actin' like a girl again."
"Fuck you." Ichigo shot back but with little heat as his fingers curled in the belt loops of Grimmjow's pants.
"Mmm. Later. I promise." His voice was deep and vibrated in his chest, the hot breath wafting across his neck as Grimmjow moved.
"This... This isn't over. Stop doing that." Ichigo complained as Grimmjow began to nibble on the spot behind his ear.
"What this?" He asked playfully before licking the skin and blowing lightly on it.
Ichigo shivered and closed his eyes. "Yeah, that." He said breathlessly.
Grimmjow's fingers where playing at the back of Ichigo's tight jeans when there was a knock on the door. Grimmjow pulled away and smacked Ichigo's backside sharply before grinning almost triumphantly and leaving him to answer it. Ichigo scowled after him and crossed his arms over his chest again, prepared to glare the man who he knew was at the door down. He'd finally gotten a chance to speak to Shinji the day before and, though the details were surprisingly lacking, he knew now for certain that Shinji's self imposed, but brief, social exclusion was all his fault.
Nnoitra walked through the front door when Grimmjow let him in but he didn't even bother looking at Ichigo so his glare was utterly wasted. With a deeply affected sigh he walked over to the play area and picked up Sorin, intending on getting him ready for a bottle first as it was dinner time for the triplets. Grimmjow watched Ichigo walk out of the living room before turning to Nnoitra and speaking with a low voice.
"Don't fuckin' say anything to him or we'll never get out of here. He's all fuckin' butt hurt about what you did to Shinji."
"I didn't do fuckin' shit. He's the one that freaked the fuck out." Nnoitra countered angrily but Grimmjow put up his hands.
"I don't really care. Just don't talk to Ichigo. I don't wanna hear it." He stepped away from the door to pick up Tomoe and take her to the kitchen. At nearly six months old all three of them were sitting in their highchairs for meals, even if it consisted of formula from a bottle and some teething biscuits. "Besides, he's already bitchy about me goin' over there tonight."
Nnoitra rolled his eye. "Fuckin' needy bitch."
Grimmjow just snorted before disappearing in the kitchen. He came back with a full bag of beer and pointed to the floor by the couch absently as he looked over his shoulder at Ichigo.
"There's the TV." He said before grabbing Ichigo's arm and pulling him close.
"I love you."
Ichigo pouted but the edges of his mouth titled slightly. "Love you too."
"You'll be all hot and ready for me when I get back, right?" He asked in a low voice and Nnoitra rolled his eye again. Why were they doing this in front of him? Couldn't they have said their goodbye's in the kitchen?
"Whatever. Just don't be too drunk."
Grimmjow leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ichigo's, sucking lightly before pulling back with a grin and licking his lips. Ichigo tried to hide his blush by turning and scratching his head but when the sound of screeching and a dull thud and splash came from the kitchen he sighed.
"Tomoe's done." Grimmjow smirked and reached to pick up Taichi.
"No, she's pissed off because I gave her, her bottle first." Ichigo said before moving to clean up the mess in the kitchen.
"C'mere little man." Grimmjow said, kissing Taichi's plump cheek. "Daddy will see you in the mornin'."
Taichi grabbed at Grimmjow's face and babbled something incoherent. Grimmjow grinned and hugged him. "Two steps away from sayin' daddy." He mumbled and Nnoitra couldn't help but sneer at the sickeningly touching scene before him.
"We goin', daddy?"
"I'm sayin' bye to my kids, asshole." Grimmjow shot back before taking Taichi to the kitchen for dinner.
Nnoitra waited impatiently, sure he could hear Grimmjow and Ichigo kissing and murmuring love in the kitchen before Grimmjow laughed and came walking out with a large smile on his face. He looked at Nnoitra as he picked up the bag of beer and walked to the door.
"The fuck you doin'? Grab the TV. Let's go."
"TV's fuckin' heavy." Nnoitra complained and Grimmjow held up the bag in his hands.
"Hands're full." He said and laughed when Nnoitra flipped him off.
When they got to the apartment Nnoitra kicked the door closed behind him and almost threw the TV at Grimmjow who walked casually in and plopped himself down on the pullout couch that had been yet to be folded back up. He had managed to find it just as the former owners were getting rid of it and offered them a few yen to take it off their hands. Then he'd called Starrk to help him move it, surprised when the man only complained five times. The couch itself smelled slightly musty but he had sprayed it down with some sanitizing spray and covered it with a large sheet when it was closed. The mattress, he found upon opening it, had never even been used and was still wrapped in a plastic cover.
"Dude, you got some shit in here." Grimmjow said, mildly impressed, as he set the beer on the only available counter space. "You could'a put the bed away though."
Nnoitra snorted. "Aw, and here I thought we could get some cuddlin' in without the bitch around."
Grimmjow laughed at that and folded the bed away as Nnoitra set the TV on a low end table he had found in an alleyway a few blocks down.
"Think I'd cuddle with yer ugly ass?" Grimmjow shot over his shoulder.
"Tch, think I'd cuddle with yer old ass?"
"Hey, no pullin' the old card asshole. Yer only two years younger than me."
Nnoitra cocked his eyebrow as he bent down to plug the TV in the only outlet the room provided. "Yeah, but I ain't thirty yet so fuck off."
"Details." Grimmjow grunted.
Nnoitra fiddled with the TV while Grimmjow got out a couple beers, setting one near his friend as he took a spot on the couch. He looked around the small room and sighed inaudibly. He didn't miss living like this at all. He liked the nice things he had, the money and the stability. It was nice to remember where he used to be and how hard he had worked to get to where he was now, though, and being around Nnoitra did that for him sometimes. A small and sentimental part of him hoped that one day Nnoitra would know that kind of life.
"Shit, nice ass TV and I'mma be stuck watchin' DVDs." Nnoitra grumbled when he only managed to find one station that came in relatively clear.
"Need a DVD player for that." Grimmjow commented.
Nnoitra sneered at him and sat back, leaning against the wall near the table. "Workin' on it, dude."
Grimmjow raised his eyebrows and cracked open his beer. "Oh yeah? So yer stickin' around this time?"
Nnoitra shrugged. He had been thinking about life a lot lately and though that kind of hard thinking pissed him off he knew it was necessary. He wasn't getting any younger but he certainly wasn't ready to settle down and become an old man. It was just nice to think that he'd have a place to come home to every night, a place to call his own.
"Gonna work for Starrk for now. Blowin' shit up was kinda fun last time. He's gonna put me in construction starting Monday."
"Right on. Surprised he's givin' you yer old job back though." Grimmjow commented.
Nnoitra shrugged again. He had told Starrk that he had to leave before he took off and the man had just shrugged and said, "Whatever." in a tired voice. Now that he thought about it, Starrk was the only person whom he had told anything to before leaving. Nnoitra grabbed his beer and sucked half of it down in one pull before leaning his head back against the wall.
"He likes how I work I guess." He said with a bored tone.
"Never thought I'd see the day you settled anywhere."
"Che. You expect me at say somethin' like, 'You inspired me Grimm.' Right?"
The blue haired man laughed and shook his head. "It's the blond, right?"
"Fuck off."
"No way. I know I'm right. Yer still hard up for that bitch aren't you?" Grimmjow leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, an almost eager expression on his face.
"I ain't hard up fer nuthin'."
"Bullshit." He grinned and linked his fingers together. "I heard from Ichigo that Shinji turned you the fuck down again but then locked himself in his room for a couple days."
"What are ya, a gossipin' woman now'days?"
"I get backrubs if I listen to Ichi bitch. I figure it's a good compromise." Grimmjow shrugged.
"Yeah, 'cos babysittin' all day is hard work."
"Fuck you. I have a new respect for mothers now takin' care of those three all day long and tryin' to work. And stop tryin' to change the subject."
Nnoitra rolled his eye. "Fuckin' hell. If I tell ya about what happened in China will ya drop the bitch talk?"
Grimmjow grinned again and nodded his head, sitting back and cocking his head to the side. "I'm all ears."
Ichigo looked over at his friend and took a deep breath. Shinji had come over about an hour after Grimmjow had left and was currently on the floor trying to encourage Sorin to crawl to him. Sorin, happy yet determined and wet grin on his face, was doing his best, kicking his legs and waving his fat little arms around in an attempt to move.
"No, like this." Shinji said, grabbing Sorin's legs and bending them underneath his body. "Now try."
Sorin fell forward and began to wiggle again.
"He'll get it eventually." Ichigo said. "So what's up, you said you wanted to talk."
Shinji, still smiling at Sorin's fail attempts, looked up and tossed his hair over his shoulder. "I've got a date Friday."
Ichigo could only stare at his friend, a look of abject bewilderment on his face.
"Ichi, breathe." Shinji giggled.
"But, three days ago you were… and then… but…."
"Tesla hooked me up. I need to move on and I think datin' will be good for me."
Ichigo lowered his head into his hands and shook it. "So you're going out with a guy Tesla picked out?"
Shinji grinned. "Kinda. They met at the club a few years back and since Tess is still seeing that married guy…."
"Wait, he's with a married man?" Ichigo asked, shocked at the news.
Shinji raised a thin eyebrow at him. "Why does that surprise you?"
"Well I thought he would'a learned his lesson after that one woman tried to run him over with her car."
Shinji shrugged. "Well this dude he's settin' me up with ain't married so it's no big deal."
"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, things just got stirred up with… with him. I don't think you should just jump into this."
"Ichi, I haven't dated since that idiot. Four years. Four years since I actively sought out a partner because of that man. I think I waited long enough." He sighed and pulled at a string on the hem of his pants, absently thinking that he really shouldn't be pulling on it or it would unravel. He wasn't counting Tesla because technically they had only dated for a week and didn't even have sex.
"Yeah, but… Shin, are you sure you aren't just trying to replace him?" Ichigo asked, his voice low and quiet. He hadn't wanted to bring something like that up, he really didn't like upsetting Shinji, but it had to be said.
Shinji snorted. "He can't be replaced." He said, even quieter than Ichigo had been. He cleared his throat before continuing. "Besides," His voice was stronger now. "I can't keep thinkin' about him anymore. And the best way to get him out of my head is to put somethin' else in there, ne?"
Oh. My. God. Shinji thought to himself, not for the first time that evening. It was Friday night, his date was sitting in front of him at a table in a nice restaurant and he couldn't stop staring as the man chewed his food. At first he had tried to be polite about it, only barely looking at him as he ate his own food. But now he just stared, watching bits of half chewed chicken fall from his open mouth as the sounds of mastication reached his ears. He wasn't even sure what the man was saying at this point, all his attention was focused on that disgusting display, his brows drawn and his eyes wide.
"So I was like, fuck you man. I dressed nice so yer gonna let me in." The man laughed and a chunk of food landed near Shinji's water glass. He resisted the urge to flick it back at him only because he didn't want to touch it.
"Heh." Was the best Shinji could manage.
"So we goin' dancin' after this?" The man asked and Shinji nodded, staring at the rice stuck to his chin.
Wipe it off! God, can't you feel that? His mind screamed but he kept his mouth shut. The man finally wiped his face on his dirty napkin and sat back in his chair.
"Mmm, that was good shit. I should bring my next date here."
Shinji nodded his head absently, wondering not for the first time why he was still even there. He should have left the moment the guy had started flirting with the waiter… three minutes into the date.
"You do that." Shinji said, wiping his own face and taking a small sip of water. It was the only thing keeping his mouth shut and his ass firmly planted in the chair. If he had been drinking anything stronger he was sure he would have hit the asshole or done something equally drastic.
They decided to walk to the club they had planned on going to, seeing as how it was only about a block away. Shinji stuck his hands in the pockets of his pants after zipping his jacket closed. It was almost October but the weather was more like December only without the snow, a hard wind whipping at his hair and making his eyes sting.
"So you been to this club before?" The man asked.
"Yeah, plenty. I know the bouncer personally."
"Awesome. I heard there are a ton of easy guys here. If I can't get you in bed, I can at least bag a different partner for tonight."
Honesty was good and all but this guy was ridiculous. "Well the I guess ya should start lookin' the minute we get in then." He bit out and the man stopped, eyebrow raising.
"Whoa, hey. What's wrong baby?"
The muscles in Shinji's right arm twitched. "Don't call me baby, ya uncouth bastard." He grit out.
The man's head tilted to the side and he frowned, wrinkling his nose a bit as he did so. "What's that mean?"
Shinji rolled his eyes and they walked into the club. The first thing he did was order a drink. He was done being nice to this idiot and decided it was time to let his tongue loosen just a bit more. The man, for his part, offered to pay for the first one.
"But the rest are on you baby."
Shinji sneered and ordered the most expensive drink he could straight out, downing it before ordering three shots of tequila. The man smiled, no doubt thinking that with Shinji drunk he'd be easier to handle. Three shots down Shinji turned to the dance floor and sighed, a slight and giddy smile on his face as the slow burn down his chest made his entire body feel warm. He started away from the counter when the man leaned forward and tried to kiss him.
"The fuck you doin'?" Shinji yelped, pulling back and staring up at him.
"Kissin' you. I'd've thought that was pretty obvious."
"Don't."
"Aw, c'mon. I bought you dinner, a drink and I've been really nice to you. The least you can do is kiss me." Shinji supposed he was trying to look sexy but it came across as sleezy.
"Fat chance."
But still the man persisted, following Shinji out to the dance floor and trying at least two more times to wrap his arms around him and kiss him. It was ridiculous and he simply wouldn't take no for an answer. Shinji tried his best to ditch the man but every time he thought he was safe up he'd pop and ask some stupid question like, "So you wanna get a hotel?"
"No, I don't wanna get a fuckin' hotel. This date's over asshole. Back the fuck off."
"Geez yer a little bitch you know that? I go outta my way to be nice to you and you can't even return the favor."
Shinji snapped. "Nice? NICE? When the fuck were you nice this entire night? You flirt with the waiter, tell me yer gonna bring yer next date to dinner at that place, tell me yer gonna hook up with another person here if I don't put out and try to kiss me without askin'. What part of that is nice?"
"Anybody ever slapped you for that mouth of yours? Ungrateful bitch."
Shinji growled in frustration and anger and didn't bother stopping his hand as it shot out and connected with the man's face. It had been quite a while since he had actually slapped someone but he felt it was the best way to go with this guy.
"Lose my number." He screamed over the music, a few dancers clapping at the scene as he stalked away.
That was by far the worst date he had ever been on. Steaming, he walked the four blocks back to his car, the whole time wishing that he had never left the house. The alcohol was burning in his system now, making his head feel light and dizzy. He tried not to pay attention to it, tried to ignore the way it was setting his angry blood on fire but by the time he was at his car he realized that there was no way he'd be able to drive home without running at least one person off the road. And it had nothing to do with the alcohol.
At the screeching ring of his phone he reached back and pulled it out of his pocket, flicking the talk button and biting out a terse greeting.
"What?"
"Oh, now that's not a very nice way to answer the phone."
"Fuck you, I'm in a bad mood." He growled, almost ready to hang up on the man.
"Was your date that bad?"
"Szayel, what the hell do ya want?" And how did he even know about the date in the first place?
"I was wondering if you were alright. I hadn't heard from you after I called you last time."
Blood began to boil. "I hate you. It's all yer fault what happened."
"Oh, what happened exactly? Did the idiot make a pass at you?"
"I don't wanna talk about it." Shinji pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, trying to calm himself down. "Shit."
"Do you need any help?"
"Fuckin'… goddamnit." He took a deep breath. He was really going to regret this. "I need a ride home."
On the other end of the line Szayel grinned maniacally. "Do you know?"
"So you kicked him in the chest and drove off?"
Shinji nodded and took a sip off his bottled water. He had no idea why he was telling Szayel all this, but that man was for once not being a creepy, lecherous asshole. After he had asked for a ride he had sat on the hood of his car and waited for the man to pick him up. At first he had been thinking about how he was going to kill Tesla when he got home. How he would laugh as his thin fingers wrapped around the idiot's neck and he laughed at the life choking out of him. He knew that it wasn't Tesla's fault but it made it easier to blame him for the night's events.
And then his mind turned over the night. He had been surprised when he had first seen the man. He was tall, taller than Shinji anyway, and thin, long black hair pulled back in a tail at the nape of his neck. His eyes had been dark and slanted, his smile wide and full of teeth. At first he had been acutely attracted, his eyes raking almost hungrily over the man's body as he walked up to him at the restaurant. It had taken him a moment to realize that the reason he had found the man so attractive was because he reminded him of someone else. Another tall, thin man with a wide smile and slanted, though violet, eyes. He supposed that was when the night had started going down hill. On top of all the annoying and flat out rude things the man did he couldn't stop comparing him to Nnoitra. And the man, not surprisingly, had come up far too short.
He sighed out the window of the car, his mind drifting to the last time he had seen the man. So much of him had wanted to keep going; to never stop letting him kiss him, touch him; hold him. No matter how many times he kicked himself for that kind of thinking he always came back to it. Everything he had worked so hard to hide, to trap down under miles of stone in his heart and mind, exploded and begged for attention the moment Nnoitra had knocked on his door all those weeks ago.
Szayel looked at his younger passenger and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The two of them, Nnoitra and Shinji, were so stubborn. He was still upset at both of them, for various large and small reasons, but that didn't stop him from feeling, no matter how small it was, a little sorry for them. Still, it didn't sound like things had gone the way he had wanted them to the other night and he had to fix that problem. In order for his plan to get back at both of them for whatever slight his mind had decided they had made, something a bit more… drastic, had to happen.
"I have an idea that you may not like." He started carefully, eyeing Shinji from the corner of his eye.
Shinji frowned at the window but didn't turn. "What? And no I'm not helpin' ya with yer movie."
Szayel chuckled. "Not that, I swear. I was thinking maybe since you have all this pent up emotion in regards to Nnoitra you should do something to release it."
Shinji turned this time, his frown deepening. Szayel smiled at him charmingly. "What the hell're ya talkin' about?"
"What I mean is, it might do you both some good to have that one last fuck. That bit of closure you never got when he left the last time."
"That's just stupid." Shinji said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "How is fuckin' gonna help all this?" He waved his hand in the air ineffectually at the thought.
"Like I said, closure. Isn't that what you've been looking for all this time?" Szayel kept his voice quiet, knowing that it would cause a large impact on the blonde's fragile mind. He was so easy to manipulate sometimes.
Shinji frowned, the idea starting to seed in his mind. He did need closure but he wasn't sure if Szayel's idea would work, or only make things worse. The idea of being with Nnoitra again, of continuing what had gone on in the car, was so tempting and yet so horrifying he couldn't decide if he wanted to smile or throw up. He shook his head again.
"No," He said quietly, turning his head so that he looked out the window once more. "That's a stupid idea."
Szayel sighed and looked out over the windshield with a small almost imperceptible grin. Just keep mulling it over, Shin-chan, he thought to himself quietly as he continued to drive. Let your mind wrap around the idea. Let it fill you up until you can't think of anything else. Shinji sat oblivious to the other man, his thoughts unknowingly forming just the way Szayel wanted them to.
Nnoitra yawned and bent down to rummage in his small refrigerator. He wasn't really hungry so much as bored. He hadn't felt like going out that night, not after the last time, so he had opted to stay home and watch the stolen cable he had gotten care of one of his neighbors. There was surprisingly little on for a Friday night and he wasn't all that tired. Not tired enough to sleep anyway. It would have been cool if he wasn't out of beer, but he was too lazy to go to the store and get more at the moment. Sighing and standing to full height, he stretched his back, a few satisfying pops could be heard over the television. He was just about to head back to the pullout bed when there was a light almost hesitant tap at his door. He wasn't sure at first that it was even his own door. He looked down by the side of the couch and picked up the heavy iron rod he had picked up from the scrap pile at a worksite Starrk had shown him. Better safe than sorry. He walked the few steps to the door and wished he had a peephole. He snorted at his paranoid thoughts and held the rod at the ready, just in case, as he opened the door.
At first he wasn't sure that what he was seeing was real. Maybe he had fallen asleep on the couch after all and he was already dreaming. He looked down at the top of a bent head and watched as it lifted in almost slow motion, honey colored eyes finally roaming up to his face, a worried and hesitant look furrowing the brow. His breath caught in his throat and his eye went wide, his arm lowering the rod but not letting go just yet.
"Wha…?"
Shinji took a deep breath and closed his eyes before opening them with a determined look.
"You alone?"
A/N *Hee* I fell a tad bit bad because basically this chapter has TWO cliffhangers in it. I don't feel bad enough to change that though, ;p I don't usually do things like this but I wanted to dedicate a song to Nnoi and Shin. Before I started writing this story I came across this song, not a new song by any means, but it was a good song. Anyway, it made me cry because it was so fitting for the two. Anyway, I not only want to dedicate it to this story, but most definitely the next chapter. I think all of you should listen to it at least once because it's fuckin' perfect. Anywho, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always I'd love to hear what you all think. Good? ;p
~Penny
Here's the link: .com/watch?v=okC4hw8IPYg (Yes I realize I'm not supposed to add links here but so what. Listen, follow the lyrics and feel for Nnoi and Shin)