Chapter 5

This chapter has quite a few surprises, and in relation to the main plot, this is the most progression so far. :D

Enjoy, and thanks for all the reviews!

This is kind of pathetic. I'm doing it again, and I know that this time I probably shouldn't. I should just open my mouth and say what I want to. I don't understand myself – when it's uncalled for, my mouth opens. But when I really need to say what I feel, I can't. I shy away and just shut down. I'm such a coward. Like always I choose the obvious decision, and I'm not sure how this will work out for me. But what else can I do? It's not like I actually know what is the right thing.

And now I'm doing it again – I'm running away.

"Pikapi?" my Pokemon asked me, tugging at my ear.

"I'm okay, Pikachu," I told him, but he just eyed me wearily from his position on my shoulder.

This should really confuse him. I mean, I just grabbed my bag and left. Pikachu wasn't in the room when I told mom where I was going, and he must think I'm off on an adventure again. But he must know otherwise, because I look like shit. He always knew when something was up, and he would bug me until I would tell him. Whether or not he understood me or not, is another question, but he always seemed pleased after I told him.

"I'm going to see Brock," I finally told Pikachu.

His ears twitched at the mention of Brock's name, and excitement crept onto his little face. He made some sound of approval, then jumped off me, running along the path. He stopped somewhere in front of me, and urged me to walk faster. When I didn't, he ran back to me and pulled on my jeans.

"Pika!" he moaned when his efforts didn't work.

"Relax, Pikachu," I said, "We're taking a cab, so we'll be there soon. I only have today and tomorrow. Have to go back to work on Monday."

He looked at me with interest. Shit, he caught my reluctance when mentioning work. I extended my hand and Pikachu climbed on, stepping up my arm to settle on my shoulder. He motioned forward, and I started walking. While Pikachu was bouncing with excitement, I walked on somberly, a shadow cast over my eyes by my cap that was pulled down lower than usual.

I don't know why I just didn't let the cab pick me up at home, but I guess I needed to walk for a little bit. We reached the place, and I walked inside. It was a tiny little place – Pallet was not in need of that many taxis, but it would do. I booked me a cab, and before I knew it, I was off. The trip to Brock was quiet, and even though it was still early morning, I lulled back to sleep. Must have freaked out the taxi driver a bit (I had been told I snore), but I didn't care. At least my mind was distracted that way, and I didn't seem to dream a thing. Maybe this was a good idea after all.

Not that I would know what to tell Brock. I've never been good at hiding how I feel, and Brock would definitely notice. So what if I told him I felt guilty. That would lead to him asking why, and could I really tell him why walking away from Gary, even though he yelled at me, hurt me real bad? Could I live with Brock knowing the truth? I doesn't matter with Brock in particular knowing – it could be anyone. I sure as hell didn't know why I felt afraid of admitting it out loud. I like Gary. A lot. Maybe I'm one of those people who believe in jinxing a thing, and saying it out loud will make it go away. Not that liking Gary haven't brought my fair share of problems, but I actually like liking Gary.

I'm weird, I know.

Brock seemed very happy to see me, and frankly, I was happy to see him too. There is some vibe about my old friend, as if he brought some calm to you; a stillness, a peace. So I found myself smiling while he prepared some tea for us, letting that good-times-feeling settle over me.

"I really didn't expect you to come so soon," Brock chuckled as he gave me my tea.

"Seriously, Brock, you make me sound like a bad friend," I joked.

He gave a laugh, "Never a bad friend, just one that is the type to forget these types of things."

Pikachu had taken up the available position on Brock's lap, and the little fella seemed especially glad to see him. Maybe the Pokemon was just after Brock's food, as we all knew Brock was the best at preparing their treats. Whatever it was, I was happy that Pikachu was happy. With all this emotional crap, I kind of forgot about him a little, and I feel guilty about that, too.

"Is everything still good this side?" I asked, partly because I didn't want the focus on me, and partly because I was actually interested.

"Rather well, I'd say. I did tell you I opened a Pokemon shelter for lost or abandoned Pokemon, right?" he looked at me, and I nodded. "Well, it's going great. We're helping so much Pokemon finding new trainers, or being reunited with their old ones. Also, this super cute girl started working there, and I think she totally has the hots for me. I'm her boss after all, maybe she finds that sexy."

I snorted, "You always think women find you sexy. And where has that gotten you? Still thinking that, instead of knowing it."

Brock's brow furrowed a bit, before his lips slowly curled into a sly smile. "Ash, did you just say I'm sexy?"

I sprayed the tea that was in my mouth, going into a slight coughing fit while Brock just watched me with amusement. How the hell could I have said that? Fuck! I seriously need to start thinking about the stuff I want to say. I could feel the heat at my cheeks. I'm so busted.

"What?" I began, trying to sound clueless. "I didn't mean that!"

"Oh, really? Then why are you blushing like mad?" Brock laughed.

"I'm not blushing!" I defended, rather uselessly.

"Oh Ash, come on now. I've always known you're gay, don't try to hide it now," Brock said, his voice light and friendly.

Oh my god.

My mouth fell open a bit as I looked at him. How in the world could he have known? Was it something I said in the past that gave me away? I know I didn't give them the opportunity to see me be gay. Well, there goes my whole dilemma of not being sure whether to live with people knowing. At least Brock doesn't know the whole truth. Not yet, anyway.

"Ho-How did you know?" I finally managed to say, closer to a whisper actually.

Brock looked at me, his face wearing the same expression. I could tell he wasn't freaked out. Actually, it seemed like he was quite happy. "I've always known, Ash. You're like my little brother – I think I know you better than you do yourself."

I looked at him in silence. I had no idea what to say, and even less of one as what to do. Brock finished his tea, and motioned for mine. I gulped down the last of it, and handed him the cup. He washed them quick, and put them aside to dry.

"Come, let's walk a bit," he said as he walked to the door.

I got up, and followed him. We walked for a bit, still silent. Brock was looking at the trees and sky, and it seemed like he was waiting for me to start talking. Trust Brock to do that – offer his help, but still make it feel like you aren't the weak one. That doesn't even make any sense.

"I'm here because of that, actually," I finally said, the words escaping my mouth again without me thinking. Fuck.

"I'm assuming it isn't because someone found out and hates you now, right?" Brock asked, concerned.

I shook my head, "Not at all. It's… worse I think."

"Tell me," he said simply.

That really isn't as easy as it sounds. I mean, how would it sound if I told him that the person, guy, that I like is Gary Oak? My childhood rival. I know that hardly classifies me falling in love (can I call it that?) with the bully – seeing as we've made peace and are still friends. Firstly, being rivals are far from being bullied, and secondly, are we still friends?

I hoped to God we were.

"I hurt the one I like," I said.

Brock was silent, then, "Does he know you like him?"

Ah, always the one to read between the lines and think of everything. Or maybe he just really knows me that well.

"No."

"Hmm," he started, his voice contemplative, "that makes it tricky."

He stopped walking and faced me. He looked at me with calculating eyes, and scratched his chin a bit. I felt a little bit awkward, feeling as if he was inspecting me.

"How'd you hurt him?"

"He was angry at me, and then I said some stuff that I guess didn't make him angry anymore, but then I just left. He tried to stop me, but I… I just walked away."

Brock kept on looking at me, "Why was he angry at you?"

"I left his car door unlocked, and it got stolen – but we got it back. He freaked a bit, saying it's my fault and that it's so typical of me."

"That sucks ass," Brock trailed, and he added as an afterthought, "Sounds like the way Gary would react."

I blinked at Brock, and stared at him blankly. He gave me a funny look, before his face settled into a knowing smile. Oh fuck. Now he knows everything and I can just blame my lack of reaction for that. I really need to attend some classes on social interaction. I really suck at this. Not that I'm a recluse, I just aint good with things like this.

"Oh my god, Ash," Brock began. I expected him to tell me I was stupid, but then, he wouldn't be smiling like that. "I find that… strangely cute, but it makes so much sense now."

"Yeah, well," I started, entirely clueless on how to respond, "I've always liked him. Just never knew how much until recently."

"And that's why you walked away. It hurt you to see him mad and you be the cause," Brock went on, thinking.

How weird – what could he be thinking about?

"More or less," I said. "I just hope we can still fix our friendship. I'd rather only have that than nothing at all."

Brock looked at me, "Of course." His mouth curved into a smile again, and he nodded back into the direction of the house. "Come, let's go back, then you can tell me everything. I happen to be an expert on girls, this shouldn't be too different, no offence."

I just laughed at that, and I already felt much better about the whole situation.

Gary's POV

Oh my god.

Fucking dream. It's enough that I have to deal with Ash from a day to day basis, but I don't think I can take it anymore if he's on my mind for 24/7. And he confuses me so much. At times I feel I could just tell him how I feel, but then at other times he seems so oblivious to what I say, that I think he just sees me as a friend. Since when did reading Ash become so difficult? I sighed and got out of bed. I shuffled over to my shower and started to clean myself – dispelling the thoughts of the simple life of a week ago, when Ash wasn't here and didn't confuse me as much. I had everything figured out, then he showed up and all that flew out the window. He has complete control over me, and he doesn't even know it. Bastard.

Beautiful, perfect fucking bastard.

I finished up and put on some clothes before heading down to where Grandpa was working. It was still early, so the laboratory was still quiet. I went to the kitchen to get me something to eat – a sandwich – and went to see what Gramps was up to. He was at his desk going over some papers about modern diseases – presumably in a bid to solve the Dratini problem. Once he saw me, he put the papers aside and peered at me from behind his glasses. He looked tired, and the bags under his eyes only confirmed that. I walked over and gave him half of my sandwich, and he accepted with no contest.

"Have you been up all night?" I asked him.

"No, but I did wake up very early – just couldn't sleep anymore," he replied.

"Good. You can't be staying up all night anymore. Leave that stuff to me," I said with a smile on my lips. I was definitely an Oak.

"Trust you to lecture me," he scoffed. His eyes glanced over the desk, and when his eyes landed on a small note, he snapped his head up. "Can you please go by the Ketchum residence? Ash brought the vaccines with him from Viridian City, but since he's not working today…"

"Can't you send an aide?" I snapped, perhaps a little too violently.

His eyes widened a little, "I just thought you wouldn't have a problem with it. You two are still friends, right."

I sighed, "I dunno."

His brow furrowed, "Shouldn't he have come back with you yesterday?"

"Yes," I said all somberly.

Yesterday, yesterday. I really didn't want to think about it. It was just plain disastrous, and trust me to blow a fuse like that. I get myself worked up over all the little things, and I end up losing what I really want. I hoped that wasn't the case this time. Ash really seemed hurt.

"Did you two have a fight?" my grandfather asked, rather rhetorically. "It's okay, I'll send someone el—"

"—No," I interjected, then took a deep breath, "I'll go."

Gramps looked at me for a few more seconds, obviously studying my expression. I shifted my weight a little, and he gave a curt nod. I tried to give him some kind of smile, but my face only contorted awkwardly, and I left in a hurry.

The way to Ash's house was ingrained into my brain – never to be erased, and frankly, I wanted it that way. But this time while walking to his house, my stomach didn't flutter like usually; it only twisted into a tight knot. What would I say to him? How would he react? He'll probably think I'm so pathetic – it's rather uncharacteristic of me to go sniveling back. But this is Ash we're talking about here. My Ash.

I can't lose him.

I just don't know I how I would cope with losing him again. And to make it worse, the first time had been my fault with my stupid arrogance. Being mean to the one you like? Yeah, such a cliché, but I was aware of the attraction even way back when – I just didn't really understand it. But now I do, and the second I get Ash back, I freak out and lose him again. So when I found myself at Ash's front door, I suddenly feel very afraid. I took a deep breath, and calmed myself a little. I'll just say sorry, and hopefully that'll be enough for Ash. That's usually the case, I hope.

My knock was weak, and I wasn't sure that someone had heard me. Just as I lifted my hand up again, the door swung back to reveal a happy looking Delia. My heart skipped a beat, as I was expecting Ash. But I guess seeing Delia is better.

"Oh, good morning, Gary!" she greeted me in a cheery voice.

"Good morning, Mrs. Ketchum," I greeted back.

She gave me a smile, then moved to the side, "Please, come inside."

"Oh, thank you," I said while stepping past her. I stood awkwardly as she walked by me to the kitchen. She motioned for me to follow, and I watched her as she switched on the kettle.

"Ash left me those vaccines, I assume that's why you're here?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered, then my brow furrowed, "Wait. Ash's not here?"

"No."

Oh my god.

Oh no.

This is the worst thing that could happen. I glanced around to see anything that belonged Ash – he couldn't have left again. It's something he would do, go off on a whim like that, but he can't do it now. He just can't. I had to hold back the strange sound that wanted to escape my mouth – something between a gasp and a sob.

"He's visiting his friend Brock in Pewter City. He'll be back tomorrow," she went on.

I looked at her, and I could practically feel my body relax, and I gave a relieved sigh. He wasn't gone. Not yet.

"He didn't tell me he'd be going," I said.

"Yes, he decided last night. Said he wanted some breathing space. Which is so weird considering he just got back."

I shifted around awkwardly as she watched me. I had the feeling she knew about our fight, and maybe she wanted me to say something, but I really didn't know what to tell her.

"Ash told you about our fight?" I managed to ask. It wasn't really leading anywhere, but that's just it. Beating around the bush was always a great tactic with stuff like this.

"He did. But that's it. He didn't tell me what it was about."

I bit my lower lip as I looked at her. Do I tell her?

"He told you my car got stolen, right? Well, it just so happens Ash left the door unlocked. I don't know why, but I got really angry at him, and yelled at him. But we had been drinking the night before, and me being me, I drank way too much. So Ash took care of me, which is really sweet, but I didn't even realize he did that, until he told me, but I already yelled at him by then, and then he just walked away, looking so hurt, and that just broke my heart," I found myself babbling before I could stop it.

I gasped when I realized what I had just said, and Delia just smiled at me. She slowly took a sip of her coffee, before putting it down and walking over to me. She took my hands in hers and looked me straight in the eye, before asking, "Gary, are you in love with my son?"

My eyes widened at the question, but I didn't pull my hands away. I didn't even break the gaze, instead I just let my face go back to normal, before taking a breath and admitting, "Yes."

Her smile turned into a full on beam as she looked at me. I felt self-conscious under her eyes, and I looked down. She brought a hand up to my cheek, and forced me to look at her again. She gave me hopeful look, before dragging me to the living room, "Come."

"Where are we going?" I asked in confusion.

"This is Ash Ketchum we're talking about here. We're gonna need a plan if we want to make this work," she giggled.

Oh my god.

I left the Ketchum residence a few hours later, feeling rather confused and excited. I had learned quite a few things about Delia – she had no problem with me liking Ash, and she thought that he was reacting the way he was because he likes me; she was addicted to coffee, making us a cup each every twenty minutes; and she was an excellent schemer. Oh my word, that was the weirdest conversation ever – hearing Delia give me pointers on how to approach Ash, her son.

But I guess that meant that I wouldn't have to worry about what she would think if Ash and I… I don't think I care what anything would think if that would happen – I'd be too happy. But trust me to tackle a problem backwards.

That sounded so gay.

I was in such a daze while walking back to Gramps' laboratory that I didn't notice a body until it was too late. I connected with the person, and I found myself sitting on the ground and looking up at a guy wearing a cape. What the fuck? He extended his hand towards me, and helped me up. He looked oddly familiar, but I just couldn't place him.

"Sorry about that," he apologized.

"Don't worry, I was a bit distracted anyway," I said as a blush settled on my face. "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Maybe. I'm looking for Ash Ketchum. Tell me where he is, and I'll tell you who I am."

What the hell? Who on earth could this guy be? I looked at him, a little suspicious. He seemed as if he could be in his mid to early twenties, and was rather attractive. There was something about him though, that made me not like him. And it was surprisingly strong.

"He's outta town for a bit, but he lives there," I said wearily, as I pointed to the house I just came from.

He smiled at me, running a hand through his pink-red hair, "Thanks man. I'm Lance."

A/N: ^_^ SURPRISE! You should all thank Darkspider for Lance's appearance. I was thinking of bringing back somebody, but just didn't know who, but she put an idea in my mind. And Darkspider... do you hate me? ~.^ AND! :O Ash and Gary didn't even speak one word to each other! But look at that progress. HAHA. Hope you all liked this.