San Francisco Showdown

At the same time, coming in from the front porch...

"Man, that hurt!" said Henry, rubbing his throbbing head as he entered the Manor with his family. "I feel like such an idiot."

Paige replied snidely, "There's a really good reason for that."

"Mom, be nice," Hunter teased.

"Well, what do you expect?" said Paige. "He sets up ten pens and hands me a bowling ball. What am I supposed to do?" It was the same near-flat voice she used to fend off her sisters, when she knew she didn't have a leg to stand on.

"Bowling ball?" said Henry.

"Hello? It was a metaphor!" said Paige. "Remember them or did that fall give ya brain damage?"

Hunter felt a tickle in his stomach. (Some things never change.) "Am I gonna have to separate you two?"

"She started it," said Henry.

Paige scoffed. "Riiight! Because I'm the one who threw myself down the front steps."

"You guys said it wouldn't hurt!"

"Uh, no," Paige corrected. "We said you wouldn't have a scratch on you. Nobody said it wouldn't hurt!"

"Actually, it was my fault," said Hunter, a tad bit squirmish. "I was supposed to warn him not to. It was on the list and everything."

"Honey, that's sweet, but... Wait, what list?"

Hunter said, without hesitation. "Yeah, Dad made a list of do's and don'ts for me to follow when I got here. It's mostly stuff I'm supposed to do to keep him outta harm's way."

"Oh really?" Paige looked smugly at her husband. "You wouldn't happen to have this list on you, would ya?"

"Actually, I do!" Hunter pulled his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans and from it he pulled out a 3 by 5 index card. Handing it to his mother, he said, "It's number two."

Paige eyed her husband mischievously before reading the card. It read:

1. Don't show this list to your mother.

"Ah!" Paige looked smartly at her son. "Looks like number one needs a little work."

Hunter started to whistle as he coyly dodged his mother's knowing stare.

"What's number one?" Henry asked nervously. "Somebody?"

"Uh..." Hunter stumbled. "I wasn't supposed to spank you."

Before he realized what he was responding to, Henry replied, "Oh, that's okay."

"yet."

"Huh?"

"Shhhh!" Paige exclaimed. "Woman reading here!"

"Sorry!" replied the two men.

Paige read on:

2. Don't let me do anything magically stupid. (especially if your mother's looking)

Paige smiled at the instruction. It spoke volumes about, not only her future marriage, but of the future closeness of Henry and Hunter.

Henry looked questioningly at his son. "What's she smiling at?"

Hunter shrugged 'innocently'.

"As outnumbered as the men are in this family and you're gonna take her side?"

Hunter grinned widely. "Trust me Dad, the girls don't have us outnumbered," he said. "Not by a longshot."

Paige smiled all the way through the list, with the brightness and fascination increasing, the further down it she went.

It was the final instruction that pleased her the most:

10. Most of all! Just be sure you come safely back home to us, as soon as you can! Love, Dad.

Paige was all prepared to lose herself in a misty-eyed moment, but stopped herself when... "Henry?" she said to the bedazzled man, as his unblinking eyes traveled like two spotlights from one side of the Main Hall to the other.

"Paige, why are there tumbleweeds in the living room?"

"Tumbleweeds?" Paige echoed disbelievingly. "You must've hit your head harder than I..." She turned to see for herself "...thought."

Sure enough, right before their eyes, several tumbleweeds (mental holograms, though they didn't know at the time) tumbled from one side of the Main Hall to the other, vanishing into the walls.

"Hunter," said Henry, "you wouldn't happen to know why..." He turned to look behind himself, only to find his son newly dressed in solid black cowboy attire, right down to the spurs on his black leather boots "Son (Hey, that sounded cool!), why are you dressed like Black Bart?"

Hunter tipped his jet black cowboy hat and winked at his mother and father. "Pardon me, parents," he said as he strolled out in front of them, his spurs clinking as he went. "Alright, Sheriff!" he called out. "I know you're here somewhere's! Come on out an' show yerself, ya lily-livered yella-belly!"

Henry spoke in his wife's ear, "Honey, is our son a witch or a renegade cowboy? I can take one or the other, but I'm not sure I can handle both."

"Oh Honey," said Paige, pinching her husbands cheeks. "We'll just have to love him either way."

As Hunter stood in traditional standoff-at-twenty-paces position, Lee stepped out of the dimly lit dining room and into the Main Hall. He was wearing a white cowboy hat and brown, spurred boots. There was a red bandana around his neck and a golden star on his brown, suede vest. "Well if it ain't the Hunter Bandit!" he said in a western drawl. "I thought I done smelled me somethin' fowl."

"That's right Sheriff," replied Hunter. "I told ya there weren't no place you could hide from the likes o' me."

"Oh I ain't a hidin'." said Sheriff Lee. "I know'd you'd come here lookin' for me sooner or later."

"Found ya, more like," said Hunter. "The Hunter Bandit always gets his man."

"We'll see 'bout that," said Lee. "I think it's high time we settle this here feud o' ours ... This here town ain't big enough fer the both of us."

"Alright then," said Hunter, pretending to spit on the ground. "Guess there's only one way to settle this."

Lee pretended to spit as well, scowling at his opponent. "Say yer prayers, ya varmant." he threatened.

Both young men put their hands near their empty holsters, twiddling their fingers in preparation for their showdown.

"On yer mark!" said Hunter.

"Get set!" Lee followed.

"GO!"

Both witches vanished in a blink, Hunter using his power of teleportation (called 'vanishing' in the magical community) and Lee channeling that same power.

"Where'd they go?" asked Henry, trying not to panic.

"One!" both young men shouted as Lee materialized on the stairs, and Hunter appeared in the Conservatory doorway.

They vanished again.

"Two!" This time, it was Hunter on the stairs and Lee in the Parlor opening.

They vanished again.

"Oh I get it!" Henry said with a grin, proud to be catching on. "It's like laser tag for magical kids."

"THREE!"

Both Lee and Hunter stood on top of the Dining Room table, each pointing a (hand in the shape of a) gun at one another.

"Aw man!" said Lee. "I thought I had ya that time."

Hunter shook his head. "Come here, you!" he said, as he grabbed his youngest cousin, holding him in a smothering hug.

"Can't... Breathe..." Lee said with a dramatic gasp.

"You Ring of Nine boys and your drama," said Hunter, letting Lee out of his grasp.

Lee folded his arms proudly. "Well, Bandit, we'll just have to settle this next time."

Hunter chuckled. "Ya know Lee-Lee, you may not've won a round yet, but the clothes are getting better every time."

"Hey, I wanna play!" Henry exclaimed, as he and Paige neared the long table.

"Hey, Uncle H!" exclaimed Lee, throwing his cowboy hat to his Uncle.

"Uncle?" said Henry, looking questioningly at his wife.

"Disappointed?" she asked. "Yeah, I kinda was too."

Lee blushed. "Aw shucks!"

Before Henry had time to ask Hunter if he had any siblings, he vanished off of the table, popping up on the other side of his mother. He placed his own black cowboy hat on top of her head and offered her his arm. "May I have this showdown?"

Paige nodded and accepted the offered arm. Turning to the other two, she asked, "Y'all ready to meet yer maker?"

Channeling Hunter's power, Lee vanished from the table down to his uncle's side. "What do ya say, Uncle H?" he asked, putting his hand on the baffled parole officer's shoulder. "Ready to catch us a couple o' bandits?"

(Why the heck not?) In a proud gesture, Henry set Lee's white hat on top of his head. "Lady and gentlemen, there's a new sheriff in town!"

note: 'Varmant' is a pseudo-southern pronunciation of the word 'vermin'.