A/N: I wasn't going to post this until I had Part 3 finished but I caved! I know on my profile it says I'll be posting less but I do have some updates already finished so you will get to read some stuff from me! But I just won't be writing anything new!
For you, because I love you.
:)
"Wow" Meredith said with a slight laugh as Addison showed her into the apartment in Paris the following day, 11pm Paris time "This place is, incredible"
"Yeah" Addison breathed "It's, pretty great" she smiled "We should go to bed but, you have to see this first" she said taking her hand and leading her through to the large living/dining area, she pulled back the curtains and opened the double doors, they stepped out onto the balcony, the cool night air hitting them, an instant view of a lit up Eiffel Tower.
"Oh my god" Meredith said with a slight whisper "It's, beautiful"
"This is my favourite view in the world" Addison smiled "There's a table and chairs in one of the closets, we'll bring them out here tomorrow, it's the perfect place to eat, we'll need to go shopping in the morning, I called ahead to the doorman when you were asleep, he got someone to go out and get us everything we'll need for the morning, juice, coffee, all that stuff, so, we're all set"
"Sounds great" Meredith smiled "Thank you for bringing me here"
"The only other people I've brought here are Savvy and Naomi, years ago"
"Why?" Meredith asked quietly.
"What d'you mean?" Addison frowned.
"Why do you come here alone all the time? Why did you never bring Derek?"
"This is my place" Addison said softly "It's like, my sanctuary, I came here before I came to Seattle, I needed to clear my head before, coming in and causing all that, trouble, haven't you got a place? Where do you go to clear your head?" she asked as they both leaned up against the railings.
"The hospital" Meredith said softly "That's my sanctuary. I grew up there. Seattle Grace until I was 5, Boston General after that. But I always wanted to go back to Seattle Grace, it just has this, aura about it. When my Mom was on rounds, I learned to read in the OR gallery, I played in the morgue, I colored with crayons on old ER charts. Most people prefer churches, schools, home, places like this, but the hospital, was my safe place, my sanctuary….what?" she said with a nervous laugh as Addison stared at her intently.
"Nothing it's just, you're pretty great you know that right?" Addison smiled.
"You're pretty great yourself" Meredith said softly.
"Well, I guess, I should show you to your room" Addison breathed.
"Addison can, can we share?" Meredith asked quietly "I just, don't feel like being alone yet"
"Of course" Addison said softly, they moved back into the apartment, closing the balcony doors, once they made it to the bedroom and changed into their pajamas they climbed into bed, both of them falling asleep.
~x~
5 days later.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to this" Meredith breathed as she sat with Addison on the balcony eating breakfast.
"I've been coming here for 10 years and I'm still not used to it" Addison said with a slight laugh "I was thinking, how about we go to a salon today, get our hair and nails done, go shopping for some new clothes, and go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower tonight, I know you're not a salon and shopping kind, but I am" she grinned.
"I'd love too" Meredith smiled "You're not the only one with a trust fund y'know, it's not as big as yours but, the word million may be in there somewhere"
"Oh really?" Addison laughed "You didn't think to mention this?"
"You never asked!" Meredith laughed "I'm Ellis Grey's daughter, I inherited 2 houses, sold the one in Boston, I tend not to talk about it, my friends, I mean they must know I have money, but I don't want to…."
"Rub it in their faces" Addison finished "I get that, it's worse with men though, like boyfriends and stuff, the first few years with Derek, before he started making money, were hell, he wasn't exactly scraping for money but he hated when I offered to pay for stuff, it's like his ego was getting bruised or something, it's not my fault my family has money"
"Boys are so stupid" Meredith laughed "Right, I'm gonna go have a shower" she said standing up.
"Ok" Addison smiled "See you in a minute"
"See you in a minute" Meredith smiled back.
~x~
"You look beautiful" Addison smiled as she stood with Meredith that evening on the Eiffel Tower, her fingers brushing against Meredith's hair, they stood close together, at the edge of the railings.
"So do you" Meredith said softly "I can't believe we have like, a week left here" she smiled "I don't think I even want to leave, let's just stay here forever"
"Make everyone think we've shacked up together in Paris" she said with a slight accent.
"Oh you know that's exactly what would end up on the gossip trail" Meredith laughed "That thing would be dead without us"
"Totally" Addison laughed "I don't want to go back either" she said slightly softer, they moved closer to each other as a breeze made them shiver "How are you feeling?" she asked quietly "Come on Mer, we have to talk about it sometime" she said squeezing her arm a little.
"I feel fine" Meredith said with a small smile "This has been, just what I needed, I couldn't have done it without you" she said softly.
"I'll always be here" Addison smiled, pulling her into a hug "Always, I promise"
"Me too" Meredith smiled "Always"
~x~
2 days later.
"What are you doing?" Meredith laughed as Addison came out onto the balcony and took the table inside, she ushered Meredith out of her seat and took the chairs inside, she returned a second later, pushing one of the large arm chairs through the double doors, she went back inside and picked up the foot stool, Meredith watched her in amusement, Addison sat down in the chair, leaving as much room beside her as she could, gesturing for Meredith to sit next to her, Meredith climbed onto the chair, she turned so she was lying against Addison's body, her head resting against the right side of Addison's chest, just below her neck, their arms around each others bodies.
"I just wanted to sit here and watch the sunset with you" Addison said quietly, her lips brushing against the top of Meredith's head "And I needed to sit in something comfortable to do it, ok?"
"Ok" Meredith said with a slight laugh, their legs were tangled together, their feet resting on the foot stool "Y'know, apparently one of the most boring attractions to see in the world is the Eiffel Tower" Meredith said after a couple of minutes "But sitting here, seeing it first thing in the morning and last thing at night, seeing it now, when the sun's setting, this isn't boring this, this is perfect"
"It is" Addison smiled "5 more days, 5 more days of this, then we're back on that plane, we get a day to recover, and then it's back to reality" she laughed a little as Meredith groaned "You'll be fine, you'll be a resident Mer, you'll have your own interns to boss about, you'll love it"
"Not everyone loves to torture interns Addie" Meredith laughed.
"I do not love to torture interns" Addison scoffed "Not ones I like anyway" she added with a slight grin.
"I have to say, once we pushed past the first couple of awkward cases, I did like working on your service" Meredith smiled "I want to work with you again this year, I, I never thought I'd say this but, I find neonatal so, fascinating, how intricate it is, it's just, amazing how you can do what you can on something so, small, I really hope I'll be a good a surgeon as you some day"
"You will be" Addison said softly, tilting Meredith's head with her fingers so she could look at her "You're already a good surgeon Meredith, but you have so much more to learn, and sometimes you'll want to give up, and you'll want to do surgeries on your own before you're ready and you'll get pissed when us attendings tell you you're crazy if you think we're gonna let you do it, but the day when you are ready, when you stand in an OR and you're the boss, the scalpels in your hand and you're going to make the cut, the feeling you get, the rush, it's like, better than sex" she said with a slight laugh.
"Better than sex?" Meredith smirked.
"I tried to use language you'd understand" Addison laughed.
"Shut up!" Meredith said hitting her on the arm "Says you, we all know you've been doing the nasty with McSteamy himself on quite a few occasions since he moved out here"
"Hey" Addison said with a slight laugh "I have needs too! Even though I always feel like crap once the high's worn down" she mumbled.
"Well can't you just, y'know" Meredith smirked, Addison looked at her confused "Do it yourself" Meredith supplied "You don't need a man to make you feel good Addie"
"Oh, no no, I don't do that" Addison said simply.
"As in, you don't, do that?" Meredith asked with a furrowed brow "Like, ever? I feel like you're speaking French at me or something"
"I'm not a prude. It's just...I'm from Connecticut. And...and besides, for me, sex is a 2-player game. The solo thing just doesn't cut it for me. You know what I'm talking about"
"Self pleasure is a feminine right!" Meredith exclaimed "Sex can't always be a 2-player game, I do it all the time" she said with a slight laugh.
"I'm sure you do" Addison smirked "I just, don't do that"
"Wanna borrow my vibrator?" Meredith teased.
"Meredith!" Addison blushed "Did you really bring a, really?"
"Used it in the shower this morning" Meredith shrugged.
"Oh my god" Addison laughed "We so shouldn't be having this conversation" she said dropping her head against Meredith's body, she'd sat up a little so she was higher on the chair than Addison.
"Have you ever been with a woman?" Addison asked after a minute.
"I thought you said we shouldn't be having this conversation" Meredith smirked.
"This is a different conversation" Addison replied seriously, Meredith laughed a little.
"No" Meredith said with a small smile "Well, in college I went to a lot of beer fueled frat parties, me and my friends made out a few times to put on a show for the boys, but it never went any further than hands under shirts, to the disappointment of all the boys" she laughed "What about you?"
"Never" Addison said with a slight laugh "Not even a drunken kiss"
"Why d'you ask?" Meredith asked softly.
"I just, wondered" Addison shrugged "What's it like, I mean, is it different?"
"Softer" Meredith smiled "Everything seems to be, softer" she said stroking Addison's cheek a little, her hand stopped moving, their eyes connected "Addison, I'm going to kiss you now ok?" Meredith said with a breath.
"Ok" Addison whispered, Meredith slowly leaned in and brushed their lips together, both of them feeling an overwhelming feeling of content as their lips touched, it felt right, their tongues brushed together, Meredith's hands moved into Addison's hair as she straddled her body, Addison's hands were on Meredith's back, pulling her closer as they both let out moans, as they pulled away minutes later, only stopping for breath, they stopped still with Meredith's forehead pressed against Addison's, both of them panting a little.
"I've been wanting to do that for so long" Addison whispered.
"You have?" Meredith asked quietly.
"Yeah" Addison nodded, she slowly pushed against Meredith so she would moved off her lap, she stood up and buried her face in her hands.
"Addison?" Meredith said quietly.
"I just, need a minute" Addison said rushing into the apartment, Meredith sat there slightly confused for a minute before standing up and moving to the bedroom, she could hear Addison crying in the closed bathroom.
"Addison" she said knocking on the door "Addison let me in, please"
"Just a minute" Addison called out, an obvious wave to her voice, Meredith sat on the edge of the bed and watched the door, it opened seconds later, Addison stood there with her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes looking a little red.
"Addison, talk to me" Meredith said softly, standing up and stepping closer to her.
"I can't" Addison whispered.
"Why?" Meredith asked reaching out and squeezing her arm "Come on Addie, please, at least tell me why you can't talk to me"
"You just had a miscarriage" Addison said quietly, Meredith frowned at her a little "I, I know that sounds weird but, you just miscarried my ex-husbands baby and now, now we're in Paris watching the sunset and, you're kissing me" she said with a slight whisper "And I just, I can't do that with you, and not because it's bad, and not because I don't want too, because I know you're still hurt over Derek, you're still hurt over this miscarriage, and you can say you're not but you are, you are Meredith, and I can't, I can't fall in love with you even more…" she said tearfully "….I can't kiss you and hold you and love you anymore because, I don't want you to use me as your rebound, and I know that's my own fault, I know I've brought this on myself but, I can't do this anymore, I can't" she whimpered.
"Addie" Meredith whispered tearfully "God Addison how, how long have you, how long have you, loved me?" she sniffled.
"I don't know when it started" Addison whispered "When, when you almost died, that's when I knew but, I don't know when it started"
"You should've said something" Meredith said quietly.
"When Meredith!" Addison exclaimed "When was I supposed to say something! You were with Derek! You loved him! What was I supposed to do!"
"I don't know" Meredith whispered "I don't know I just, I really wish I would've, known that and…." she stuttered, and then she was grabbing the front of Addison's shirt and pulling her into a kiss, their lips crashing together, Addison moaned into her mouth as Meredith stepped backwards and pulled them both onto the bed.
"Mer wait…." Addison said breathlessly "Please don't regret this in the morning"
"I won't" Meredith said cupping her face "I promise you" Addison pressed their lips back together.
~x~
"Morning" Meredith said quietly as Addison's eyes fluttered open the next morning.
"Hmm, morning" Addison breathed "How long have you been awake?"
"Not long" Meredith said softly, her hand came to Addison's face and brushed back some of her hair "I don't regret it" she said quietly as she noticed a look of doubt in Addison's eyes "I promised you I wouldn't, I keep my promises, I don't regret it, last night was, perfect"
"Yeah" Addison said with a small smile "It was, it, really was, I haven't been made to feel like that in, so long" she said quietly "Are you sure you've never done this before?" she smirked.
"I'm sure" Meredith said with a slight laugh "Are you sure?"
"Very sure" Addison laughed "What are we doing Meredith?" she whispered.
"All I know is that, I feel, so much for you, so so much" Meredith said softly "But I just pushed it to the back of my mind because, I'm not supposed to feel this for you, I'm supposed to feel this for him, but I don't, Addie, I love you" she said with a small smile "This week has been, beyond perfect, I've never, I've never been able to talk to someone like I can talk to you, not even Cristina, I've never felt so, at ease, but, when I'm with you I feel, free" she said with a breath "I know you're worried I'm rebounding but, I'm really not, me and him we, we've been over for a long time, and I am still upset about the miscarriage, I mean, I didn't even know if I was, going to keep it" she said quietly "But, I'm still, upset, but you're, you're helping me through, in a good way, you know when I want to talk and when I don't, I feel like, like you know me better than I know myself, and I have no idea how you do" she said with a slight laugh.
"I don't know how this happened" Addison said softly "But, I just, love you" she said quietly, Meredith could see tears building "I love you Meredith" she whispered.
"I love you too" Meredith whispered back, kissing her softly "Let's just stay in bed all day, Paris can wait until tomorrow"
"I'd like that" Addison smiled, pulling Meredith back into a kiss "I'd really really like that" she whispered.
~x~
Part 3 to follow….