Okay. I'd just like it know that I actually won't be continuing this. Yes, there's an ending written. But the gap between here and that eventual ending? There's miles to go. I mean, they have to get the Doctor out of Torchwood and then Jack and Ianto have to reconcile (and fall into bed together somehow. *shrug*) But since I'm not going anywhere with this, since I can't get back into the mindset I had when I wrote this, have the last installment of writing from two-(three?)-years-younger!me.

Ianto blinked groggily, instinctively shutting his eyes against the sudden harsh light of the medical bay. He groaned and opened his eyes slowly, the lids still flickering slightly. Figures swam into his vision as blurs of colour. It took far too much concentration than he was ready to apply to focus on them properly. He lay there for a moment without moving, mentally assessing the situation – and potential damage – as best he could while his mind felt…so fuzzy…clouded…and all he really, really wanted to do was…

"Ianto?"

His mind snapped onto the voice, grasping onto it. He moaned slightly.

"Owen. Lights."

The harshness dimmed.

"Ianto?"

Ianto felt obliged to open his eyes.

"Jack." He replied, though his vision was still limited. The colours swarming before his eyes gradually redefined themselves into forms. Right now, Jack was a blue blob hovering at his side.

"Right, Ianto. Pain? Nausea?" Owen's voice came from the other side of the bed.

"Headache. A sort of dull throb. Can't really see properly. It's all a bit of a blur at the moment. Disorientation. Hearing's fine. Gwen, don't even think about touching the coffee machine. Ten fingers, ten toes. Memory…perfect. No broken bones, slight loss of dignity - no change there then."

Owen blinked. "Oh, you're fine. Just don't get up until you can see again. Jack, there's a bucket under the table if nausea sets in. Make sure you get it in time if he needs it. If you don't…well, then you're cleaning up. Not me, not Ianto. The Doctor's going to stay here, so if you need anything get him. Tosh, Gwen and I are off to get those 'radiation cluster bombs' or whatever they are. At the end of the day, they're still alien tech and they're still giving off a signal Tosh can trace. If the Doctor comes out of his magical ship will you ask him what the hell they are?"

Jack nodded.

"Right then, we're off. Call if you need anything."

Ianto's vision cleared as Owen made his way out of the Hub. He glanced at Jack and was surprised to see Jack wasn't meeting his eyes.

"Jack?"

Jack took a deep breath and turned to Ianto with a shaky smile. "Hello."

"What happened? The last thing I remember was…"

"Kissing John. Yeah. I know."

Ianto flinched. "Well, what happened? How did I get here?"

"You were poisoned. When he kissed you, the poison on his lips transferred to yours and activated."

"Well," Ianto muttered, "won't be kissing him again any time soon."

This was met with silence.

Ianto turned.

"Jack?"

He wasn't looking at Ianto.

"Jack, what's wrong?"

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Never. Don't ever scare me like that again. I thought…I thought…"

And then all of a sudden Jack had tears in his eyes. Ianto reached out for him, not quite sure if this was real or...

"You thought you'd lost me." He said quietly, taking Jack's hand in his own. "Well. That's quite alright. Because I thought I'd lost you."

Oh…he hoped this was just a dream. What had made him say that? He noticed belatedly he wasn't even properly dressed, his suit jacket thrown roughly over the rails, his tie on the floor and his shirt unbuttoned.

It didn't feel right.

He let go of Jack's hand and started doing up the buttons. Halfway up, he noticed two had torn off. Oh. And Jack's eyes on him.

"Ianto…"

"Well…This shirt won't do then. I've some spare ones. I'll just go get changed." Ianto blurted.

"Ianto?"

"I'll be right back sir." Ianto smiled. "I'll see what I can do about some coffee too. And Myfanwy needs feeding, no doubt."

It was all Jack could do to smile back into the rhythms of the game.

Ianto reappeared a little while later, properly encased in his layers, looking quite normal but for his slightly bloodshot eyes. He crossed the Hub and headed straight for the coffee machine, fully aware he was being observed from Jack's office.

Jack watched him nervously. He'd always been told brushes with death brought one back to reality, that death brought out the appeal in the little things. Often, he disregarded talk altogether. If anyone was the expert on death, it was surely him, and not some busybody street gossip with enough life in her to keep her far from death for a while yet.

A 'while' was an insignificant measure for a man who would, from all sources, live forever. But then, being given time…shouldn't he live it? His mind was scarred and imperfect, a knurled and tangled mess…but…but what?

He walked down slowly to join Ianto.

Ianto heard the footsteps, distantly, but didn't pay attention until Jack cleared his throat behind him. He spun around.

"Jack! I – I was just coming up with your coffee."

Jack smiled but the twinkle of his eyes had lost a little lustre.

"I was thinking…dinner? A movie? You know…" Jack shrugged, "to celebrate."

"Celebrate what, sir?"

The fact that you're not dead.

"Oh, you know. Life. You did ask – don't think I forgot that."

Ianto cocked his head to one side. "You're asking me on a date sir."

Jack winced. "Could we maybe drop the 'sir' now? I mean…while I was away-" while you were dying "- I was thinking…" He stopped abruptly. "How are you Ianto?"

Ianto just looked at him. "All the better for having you back…Jack."

Jack beamed at him. "So, interested?"

Ianto hesitated.

"Oh."

"It's not that I'm saying no!" Ianto protested, "It's just…well, I rather feel like just…going home and getting some sleep. Near-death experiences seem to take a lot out of me."

"You could…stay here. I mean…I'm sure…the TARDIS…my room…"

Ianto gave him a strained smile. "Jack, I appreciate the offer, really I do...but…I really do just want to go home."

Jack took a deep breath. "Right. Of course. Well…I'll drive you back-"

"That won't be necessary. Really. You should keep an eye out for the others. I can get home myself."

Jack frowned but continued slowly, "-and if you feel any pain, nausea, anything, give me a call."

Ianto rolled his eyes.

And that's my indefinite end. Maybe one day I'll stop cringing enough to read through it and give it the ending it deserves. All I'm saying is...either way, don't expect anything. Thank you, everyone. Sorry you had to put up me me throwing wild emotions all over the place.