A/N ok so I got stuck on best season nine quotes, and got this great idea..Since most of them have to do with cam's grandma, so I thought it could be fun to play with the team meeting her...

So of to cams gran's front door.

'Ok ok, listen up... I brought you guys here, because I thought Sam could do with some of grandma's TLC... but i need you all to remember...she's religiouse, and i know none of us are...but can we p[lease refrain from telling her that' cam breifed them from the front step.

'Ok?' he questioned again...

He received nods from Sam, Daniel and teal'c but nothing from jack and vala

'Vala...jack... ok?'

'Ok ok, but it's not nice to lead people on' jack noted

'Vala?' cam questioned

'I'm not making any promises' she noted 'honesty is the best policy, that's what I always say'

'Oh that's rich coming from you' Daniel huffed

'Children' jack scolded

'Ok ok...I'll try...but you know catholocysim is probably a offshoot from the ori...if you want your grandmother worshiping them...then you go right ahead'

'Look vala cant you just try for one day to...' cam paused as the door opened behind him

'Cameron...darling... are you and your friends ever going to come inside? The old woman questioned

'Hello gran' he bent to kiss her cheek.

'Come in, come in...You're going to get sick in this cold air' she ushered them inside.

'Ok everyone this is my grandma Mae... Grandma Mae, this is everyone' cam waved to the crowd of people.

'Well can't I know what their names are... like Leviticus says... if you do not know their name, then you know not what to call them' grandma Mae smiled.

'Ok this is jack and vala...and daniel, and sam and teal'c.' Cam introduced them respectively.

'Make yourselves at home, I'm just going to get some macaroons out the oven, there squishy favorite' she smiled

'Squishy?' jack accused as soon as she left the room

'Does the bible really say that? Sam asked

'Squishy...that's soo cute' vala laughed

'What? Cam sounded defensive

'No I don't think so' Daniel answered Sam

'No maybe it does' jack added thoughtfully

'Seriously what's with that?' vala squished cams cheeks

'I was a fat kid' cam answered shyly

'I do not believe it does...' teal'c commented

'How do you know? Jack accused

'You were fat? Sam asked

'It's an important part of earth culture' teal'c noted

'Yep, I can see that...right little porker' vala laughed

'The whole thing?' Daniel questioned

'Twice' teal'c noted

'Aww little squishy' jack laughed

'And it said nothing about names?' Sam questioned

And I thought camshaft was bad...wait till the base hear about this' vala giggled

'I do not believe so' teal'c answered

'Ok ok so she's a little eccentric' cam huffed a little louder than the rest of the whispers in the room

'Ok darlings...' grandma Mae entered the room.

A/N ok so I know this is really stupid and short but I'm having fun. Stay tuned for part two of Grandma Mae's. And remember if you want more then I want reviews.