A/N- Well I am glad to see so many people adding this story for the update alert. I appreciate you all reading it. I know everyone says Poor Greggo and again I don't know what possesses me to put him through so much in most of my stories but at least people enjoy what I am writing. That is satisfaction enough. Please keep up the reviews. Even though I have technically finished the story writing process, I can still tweak away at it as I post chapters.
"Okay, how do you feel now?" The doctor asked him after Greg eased back to lie down. He had just recently had the catheter removed and his bandages on his more severe wounds changed.
"Well better now that that thing is out of me," he said to her.
"Now you just need to eat more and get some of your strength back. You are still suffering from some malnutrition and if you want to get out of here sooner rather than later, you need to start eating what is given to you. I want you to start some physical therapy tomorrow to help with your strength. If all goes well, you might be able to go home in a few more days," she told him.
He was sick of being in the hospital. He still felt very vulnerable in there. But then again he was grabbed from outside his home, so he was not sure he was going to feel any safer there.
"Oh look, perfect timing. We just finished removing the catheter and changing his bandages. Make sure he eats when his food gets here." Greg looked up and saw Nick who just had walked through the door. He noticed the Texan looked very serious. He wondered what happened while he was away.
"That's good to hear and I'll make sure he eats," Nick said as he came closer to Greg's bed. Greg got the feeling as though he was looking at him like he was a stranger.
"Okay, well I will leave you two alone to visit now. If you have any problems, Greg, just page the nurse. I'll see you tomorrow." He watched his doctor leave and then turned his attention to Nick, who had sat down already.
"Uh, so you feeling okay right now?" Nick asked first. Greg nodded, even though his stomach was a little wobbly. "Yes, I'm okay. What's wrong? I can tell something is wrong by your face."
Nick smirked, Greg still knew him so well. He didn't know why he thought that would have changed. "Rex was caught today. His real name is Alexander Jackson. We brought him in for questioning and took his DNA."
Greg's face paled. "Oh," was all he said. He knew he should be happy one of them was caught but he felt sick suddenly and could feel his heart beat faster.
Nick was a little surprised that he didn't seem happy about it and wondered now if what Rex said wasn't true. "He said some things that I want to clarify with you."
"What…what kinds of things?" Greg said nervously. He thought that perhaps Rex went into detail of when he did to him and felt the nausea rise in his stomach.
"He said that you were at one time Jasper's …slave." Nick even had trouble saying it, it disturbed him so much.
Greg's mouth parted. Oh God, he found out. That pig told him.
Nick could see that Greg was having a hard time grasping what he just said so he went on. "He said that you were into S&M and that you actually went to the Fetish and Fantasy Ball one year and met him there and became his slave. Is that true? Please tell me he is lying."
Greg almost wished for a second he was back in that basement, hoping for death to come. "It's true," he finally said after about a minute of silence between them. He watched Nick suddenly look down at the ground.
"Damn it, Greg. You should have told me." Nick felt like he had been living with someone he really didn't know all these years.
"When I first started at work everyone thought I was weird anyway, I didn't want to add to the weirdness. Plus it was a part of my life I was trying to forget ever happened. I'm sorry, Nick." He still felt the nausea and tried to push it down with his feelings of guilt. He was afraid to ask but had to know. "What else did he say?"
Nick looked up at him. He looked really pale and scared. He was mad though that he never told him any of this before. "He said that you enjoyed being Jasper's slave, that you…that you liked being fucked by them."
That triggered it. Greg's stomach lurched and he quickly grabbed the bed pan on the side table and threw up. Nick turned away from him throwing up and felt like he had just violated him all over again by saying it as cruelly as he did. He waited until he heard him stop and place the bedpan back down. He turned back and saw him shaking, looking back at him in disbelief.
"God, Greg, I am so sorry. I'm so sorry I said it like that. That was cruel of me," Nick apologized, he felt absolutely terrible about what he said out of anger.
Greg stared at him as tears came to his eyes. "You believed him, didn't you? You actually thought I enjoyed it? Oh my God!" He started hyperventilating.
Nick shook his head, his eyes tearing up. "No, I didn't. No, I know you didn't. Oh God, breathe Greg. You need to take slow breaths," he said frantically as he saw him going into another panic attack.
Greg felt like he was choking, he couldn't breathe. His hand went to his chest. Nick looked on, frightened, as it looked like he could not breathe.
Nick panicked and pushed the button for a nurse. One came in and saw the state Greg was in. She pushed Nick aside and tried to help Greg calm down.
Nick stood back helpless, knowing he made this happen to him. How could he have been so cruel and thoughtless? How could he actually think what Rex said was true, that Greg wanted all that to happen to him? He was a horrible boyfriend for even thinking that. He walked away over to the window in the room and stared out at the coming evening. Greg was forever damaged and he helped in making it worse.
Nick didn't know how long he was staring out the window when he jumped at feeling a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, he's okay now. Just try not to upset him anymore," the nurse said to him. Nick looked at the young woman and nodded sadly. "Okay." She smiled sweetly at him and left the room. He looked over at Greg, who was looking away from him. He could see he was still shaking a little. He bit his lower lip and walked over to his bed slowly.
"I will understand if you want me to leave," he said softly as he approached his bed.
"I didn't want it, but I didn't fight them after a while either," he heard Greg say very quietly.
He pulled up his chair, gathering Greg wanted to talk still, to clear things up. "What do you mean?"
"After so long, I gave up hope of ever being saved and learned trying to fight them off or stop them was useless. I only ended up in more pain, so I stopped fighting them. I just did as I was told, but I never wanted it, I just figured I had no other choice," Greg said in a slightly cracking voice.
Tears came to Nick's eyes again. Greg had given up hope, he never thought about that. He never thought that the man he loved, who had so much life in him before would have given up hope. They truly had broken him. "I don't know what to say, sorry does not even come close."
Greg finally turned his red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks to him. "But it is my fault that Jasper came after me because he thought he still owned me."
Nick was not going to let him blame himself. "No, no, no one owns anyone; I don't care what you think. He had no right to do what he did to you at all, even if in the past you allowed him to dominate you. You ended it and he went to prison for beating you and others he had as slaves, I assume."
Greg wiped the tears away from his eyes. "He liked to switch partners back then. I found out Rex and Chris were former slave owners themselves at the club, I just did not know them back then. At first he was only interested in me and I loved the attention he gave me. I would be ready for him when he came home from work, with my leather collar on ready to please just him but after a while he brought home another guy and said he wanted me to do him. I refused and that was the first time he beat me. I managed to escape to a friend's house and stay with her for a short time. Then he came and found me and apologized to me and wanted me back. He seemed sincere and I went back. Things were good for a bit until he took me to a party, wearing the leather collar he had given me. He liked showing me off but then he tried passing me off to others again. I told him I was only his but he said he wanted to share me so other slave owners would share their slaves with him. I told him I never agreed to that when we got into this relationship. He was pissed and we left the party. That was the night he really beat me bad and I ended up in the hospital. I couldn't do it anymore. I decided things in my life needed to change. I filed charges and found out others had done it against him before too. The prosecutor got in contact with a couple of the others and only one other one was brave enough to file charges against him again. I was never with him again. I saw him at the trial, where I knew he was seething with anger. I never dreamed he would come after me again when he got out. I should have been more aware. It is my fault. I knew he had been released a few months ago."
Nick reached out and took his good hand and held it in his. He hated seeing so much pain and hurt in his beautiful brown eyes. "Look, Jasper is just a sick, sick man, along with that Rex and Chris. You are not to blame. As you said, you had no choice this time around. He kidnapped you and locked you up and never gave you a chance to escape. He wanted you and wanted to share you this time and knew that he could with brute force.
"Now look, I don't want you upset anymore tonight. Your doctor wants you to eat and I made you throw up anything you did eat." Greg gave him a sheepish look after his comment. "See, I did, so to make up for it, if you want, I will go out and get you any takeout you want, as long as they allow me," he smiled. He wiped a lone tear away from Greg's cheek that had fallen.
Greg nodded, "Okay, but I'm not really hungry now." He shrugged.
"Again, my fault but you need to eat. How about some soup from The Soup House? I can get your favorite and maybe some bread sticks?" Nick asked.
"I can maybe do that…thanks."
"No, thank you for forgiving me for being such a jackass in saying what I said to you. I promise to make it up to you," Nick said sincerely.
Greg just looked at him timidly. "Okay."
Nick smiled and got up to go. "I'll be back in a bit with your food."
Once he was outside and getting into his truck, he broke down crying. He never felt worse about anything he did in his life as he did now. Greg had already been through so much pain and suffering and then he had to add to it with his moment of doubt. He didn't know how he would ever make it up to him.
Greg never wanted Nick to know he was into that lifestyle at one time. He knew Nick thought it was sick lifestyle. One time when they had a case about it, he remembered Nick talking down about how he thought those people who did that stuff were freaks.
He curled up on his side and wished that none of this had happened. What did he do to deserve what happened to him? If he never had got involved in that lifestyle none of this would have happened. Nick was wrong, all of this was his fault. He brought it upon himself. He could just picture Jasper laughing his ass off now, knowing he was successful in destroying Greg's life.
Nick walked in about an hour later and saw that Greg was asleep. He put the bag of soup and breadsticks on the table and sat down. The bruises on his face had faded to a mostly yellowed coloring now. He never really paid attention before but now he noticed a few of the scars from burns he had received on his arms. Nick shook his head in shame. How could he have ever even entertained what Rex said? They tortured him into preferring to give in to their sexual perverseness.
He saw Greg's eyes flutter open. He forced a smile to his face. "Hey sleepyhead, I got your Cream of Potato and Ham soup that you love."
Greg stared at Nick a moment. He had a guilty look on his face. He looked away as he sat up in bed. "Thanks," he mumbled as he pulled the tray table closer to him and took the contents out of the bag. He had to admit, the smell made him hungry.
Nick watched as he smelled the soup before putting a spoon in it. It had already cooled down enough to eat right away.
Greg took the first sip of the soup and savored it. It was the first real good food he had had in months, even though it was only soup, it was marvelous. He then took a breadstick and dipped it into the soup and then took a bite. Again he savored the taste. "Oh my God, thank you. I did not realize how much I missed real food," he said with his mouth half full.
"You're welcome," Nick said with a small smile. He wondered what they had fed him while he was there. He realized there was so much he didn't know about those four months that Greg was gone. He wondered if he would ever know all of it. Then again he was not sure he wanted to know, but if he was to ever understand what his boyfriend really went through and how to deal with him, he needed to know.
He was glad Greg had the appetite to eat everything he brought him. He was still far too skinny, his cheeks still sunken in, but not as bad as when they first brought him in. Greg was always lean looking but now he was just boney, even his arms looked so thin still. He watched him eat and knew he would never know all of what happened. There had to be things Greg would never talk about because he wouldn't want to remember them.
He felt overwhelmed all of the sudden by being in Greg's presence, knowing what he must have suffered through, the torture and pain he suffered. Watching him eat like it was his first meal, seeing him so thin, the healing bruises and rough scars; it was all too much for him to deal with suddenly.
He suddenly stood up. "Uh, I just remembered I have something to do, uh, with the case. You finish that soup up and I'll see you tomorrow sometime, okay?" He started walking towards the door already.
Greg looked up at him, shocked by his abruptness. "Oh, okay. Tomorrow then…, I guess."
"Yeah tomorrow. Get better, okay," Nick said before he quickly walked out the door.
Greg stared at the door Nick just practically ran through. He then looked down at his almost empty bowl of soup and pushed it away. He sat back against the pillows and stared at the door. He was right, Nick couldn't look at him the same way anymore. He thought he was disgusting. Why would he ever want him now anyway, he was a mess to look at, scars and burns. But he had to know that the thought that Jasper and the other two had had sex with him multiple times ultimately had to be the turn off. Why would Nick ever want to be with him again after what they did to him?
Tears sprung to his eyes as he knew he would not be able to keep Nick once he was back at home. If Nick really knew all the ugly details, he would never want to lay a hand on him again. He rolled back on his side and curled up as tightly as he could without hurting too much. He just wanted to make all the pain and sufferings go away and for Nick to have never found out the truth.