Scene 12: Roadside Rumble
Kirby and Zelda are on a dirt road. Kirby notices something and starts running down the road.
Zelda: Okay, Kirby. This is where the trail ends. Do you have any idea where…?
Zelda turns around to see Kirby just as he starts running off.
Zelda: Kirby, wait…ugh.
Bowser lands behind her with a thud and charges a Dark Cannon, prompting her to turn around and look on in shock.
Zelda: (in her head) Now I know how Peach feels…
Bowser fires the Dark Cannon, turning Zelda into a trophy. Kirby keeps running, oblivious to the situation.
Bowser: You've seen one princess and you've seen them all. How laughable.
A False Bowser walks up beside Bowser, prompting him to turn to it.
Bowser: Alright, bugs. You know what to do.
The False Bowser disintegrates into a swarm of Shadow Bugs which envelop the Zelda trophy.
(later)
Link and Yoshi are running along a dirt road.
Yoshi: How much further, Link? I'm starving.
Link: Do you have to think about food right now?
Yoshi: I can't help it; we Yoshis have humongous appetites.
Link: Yeah? I'd like to see you in an eating contest against Kirby.
Yoshi: Are you joking? That guy's a vacuum cleaner in a gumball's clothing.
On a nearby hilltop, a False Zelda takes aim at Link and Yoshi with a Dark Cannon and charges a shot. Suddenly, Pit dives in out of nowhere and slashes the Dark Cannon in half, causing it to explode and the False Zelda to reel back and look in the direction of the attack, where Pit stands with his bow at the ready.
Pit: Not so fast, you double phony.
Mario runs up beside Pit as he breaks his bow into a pair of short swords and prepares for battle.
Mario: What did I miss?
Pit: Well, judging from what just happened, I'd say the party's just about to begin.
(later)
Link and Yoshi are running along a dirt road.
Yoshi: And so I said, "If you talk to me like that again, we're through!"
Link: (dully) And how did she respond, exactly?
Suddenly, Link notices Mario and Pit standing beside a Zelda trophy and stops in his tracks. Yoshi doesn't notice that Link has stopped.
Yoshi: You know my mom; she sent me to my room.
The Zelda trophy disintegrates into a cluster of Shadow Bugs. Link, shocked, turns his attention to Mario, runs up the hill, and leaps into the air with his sword pointed downwards. Mario turns his attention to the air, sees Link, and narrowly avoids Link's attack.
Mario: Mamma Mia! What are you-a doing?
Link: (angrily) You'll pay dearly for what you just did to Zelda!
Mario: (panicked) Wait, Link! I can explain! That wasn't Zelda; it was—
Link, brandishing the Master Sword, charges at Mario and attacks him, missing again.
Mario: (normally) Fine-a. If you won't-a listen to reason, I guess I'll just-a make you listen.
Mario and Link start fighting each other while Pit looks on. Yoshi runs up beside him and notices Mario and Link fighting. Pit and Yoshi look at each other, then at Mario and Link, and then at each other again.
Pit and Yoshi: (unenthusiastically) Oh, well…
Pit and Yoshi charge headlong at Mario and Link.
(later)
Pit and Yoshi breathe heavily as Mario and Link's trophies land beside them in the middle of a field.
Yoshi: Hey, you're pretty good.
Pit: You're not too bad yourself.
Suddenly, King DeDeDe emerges from the underbrush on Wario's cart, swings by, and snatches the Mario and Link trophies. As he passes, Pit sees the Peach, Luigi, and Ness trophies on the cart.
King DeDeDe: (satisfied) Alright! That's two more for the—
Kirby appears from behind the claw and dangles there.
Kirby: Poyo?
King DeDeDe: (alarmed) GAH!
Kirby cuts the grabber arm of the claw and revives Mario and Link, who land beside him on the dirt road.
King DeDeDe: (dissatisfied) Kirby, you little pest…
King DeDeDe turns the cart around and charges at Mario, Link, and Kirby. Link readies an arrow to his bow and prepares to fire when Pit runs up beside him with an arrow at his bow.
Pit: Hey. I can't let you have all the fun, can I?
Link and Pit fire their arrows, hitting the cart's engine and causing it to sputter and slow down.
Link: Nice shooting.
Pit: Meh, I've done better.
Mario and Yoshi look on as Link, Pit, and Kirby chase down King DeDeDe. Mario and Yoshi race to catch up to them.
Pit: (to Mario) Hurry! We might still have time to catch up to him and save Peach and Luigi!
Mario: Did you say "Peach and Luigi?" What are we waiting-a for? Let's-a go!
Mario, Pit, Link, Kirby, and Yoshi all pick up the pace and continue chasing King DeDeDe.
(later)
Mario, Link, Pit, Kirby, and Yoshi come to the entrance of a cave, where Wario's cart rests.
Mario: Are-a you sure this is-a where he went, Pit?
Pit: Well, I saw a thick trail of smoke leading in this direction and there are two arrows in the engine of that cart, so yeah, I'm sure.
Yoshi: This cave isn't a natural formation; someone must've built it.
Kirby: Poyo. Poyo?
Link: But who?
Mario: No time-a for that. All I know is-a that my brother and Princess Peach are somewhere in that cave and we're-a coming to the rescue.
Link: Hold it. What connection do Peach and Luigi have with these "Shadow Bugs," "Subspace Bombs," and "Dark Cannons" that Pit told me about?
Pit: Well, we know that those creatures you fought in the woods—as well as the False Zelda Mario and I defeated before you attacked us—were products of the Shadow Bugs, Wario was carrying a Dark Cannon when he trophied Peach, and the Subspace Bombs are owned by the same organization that owns the Shadow Bugs and the Dark Cannons.
Link: And judging by what we just saw, that means King DeDeDe must have something to do with it as well, right?
Pit: That's about the size of it.
Yoshi: Makes sense to me.
Link: Me too.
Kirby: Poyo.
Mario: Then what are we waiting-a for? Let's-a go!
All five of them start into the cave.
(later)
Mario, Link, Pit, Kirby, and Yoshi come out of the cave and onto a wide mountain pass. An old castle sits at the end of the pass.
Pit: Well, this is it.
Mario: Now all we have-a to do is-a break into the castle, save Peach and Luigi, and question King DeDeDe.
Kirby: Poyo poyo.
Yoshi: It's going to be a looooooooong walk.
Link: Ah, I wouldn't worry about it. I mean we did have to fight through all those strange creatures to get here. How bad could it be?
(meanwhile)
A mysterious figure stands in a room full of computer monitors, staring at one of them. The main monitor reveals Bowser standing in the middle of a rocky mountain pass.
Bowser: What is it?
The figure points to another monitor.
Figure: Wario's cart was recently stolen. I want you to find out who and retrieve the trophies that were lost.
Bowser: Yes, o mighty evil one.
Figure: And stop calling me that.
Bowser: Fine. Fine.
Bowser marches off with a squad of goombas and koopas behind him.
Bowser: (to himself) What a grouch.
The figure reveals himself as Ganondorf as he watches Bowser proceed.