.11 Confessions

Elissa felt cold, but not the unearthly chill that had haunted her before. She shivered as she opened her eyes, and watched the last daylight fade through the cracks of the wooden walls. All was silent, except the tapping of the rain outside.

The musty smell reminded her that she was in the safety of a shelter. Even in the hazy light her fever induced dreams now felt like a distant nightmare. Nonetheless, she physically felt the poison had taken its toll on her body, leaving her numb with a slight soreness she expected to mature before she would be willing to cope with it.

Warily she tried moving her fingers. When this proved possible, she lifted her arm, only to inevitably slap herself in the face with her limp hand. At least she found out her voice still worked; her lips escaped an audible groan.

Besides her something stirred. Not without effort, she rolled her head to the right. Next to her lay her elven friend, his hair unbraided and flowing like a golden waterfall across his face. Yet his eyes were open, watching her with an interest Elissa couldn't quite place. His gaze seemed complacent if not guarded, like a man troubled to speak his mind.

Elissa moved her lips, but found that forming words remained a struggle.

"My hair?" She eventually stammered, willing to comb her fingers through the now undoubtedly messed up do Zevran had worked on not long ago. Her hand remained listless at her side, but she managed a frown in dissatisfaction.

"If it had belonged to one of my better attempts, it sure does not by now. Pain? Nausea?"

Elissa tried to shake her head, but only managed to totter her chin. She sighed in exasperation.

Zevran had found his usual composure, his mouth pulled back in a confident smirk. "As I had hoped."

When he got up to collect water from the basin in the corner Elissa noticed he had shared her bed. And that he did so, without a shirt. This left her nonplussed; despite's Zevran's flirtatious behavior he had always held a gentlemanly distance, or at least he had after he had seemed to have given up impressing her as her potential lover. She could only conclude that the current situation had instructed otherwise.

When Zevran returned with a bowl of water, he stopped in his trot and showed another roguish grin. "It may be a surprise to you dear Warden, but I too require sleep after our recent ordeals. Or is it that you look rather besotted because you appreciate what you see?"

He laughed at Elissa's expression. Her eyebrow shot up with an ease that never suggested she had been poisoned to paralysis shortly ago. He then kneeled next to her and put the bowl aside before he spoke.

"I assure that you will feel better when you drink. Can you get up?"

Despite her successful attempt to support her weight on her elbows, she didn't manage to stay up by herself. Zevran had looked understanding, trying to leave her be when she seemed to succeed, but supporting her when he deemed it wise not to allow her to overexert herself. He pulled her up against his chest and cradled her with one arm, while the other reached for the bowl of water next to him.

Before he put the water to her lips, he met her eyes in the same expression that had puzzled her before. Feeling a little embarrassed to depend on help as much as she did, Elissa studied his face.

"What's wrong?"

Elissa felt these two words were the only ones she could manage to speak in her condition that covered every question she had.

Zevran didn't answer, but gently placed the edge of the bowl to her lips. His grip was firm yet careful, and he allowed Elissa only small sips of water. She was grateful for his expertise; drinking did make her feel better, even though at some point she ceased to swallow. When the water flowed from the corner of her mouth she managed a raspy giggle, joined by Zevran's soft chuckling.

"You're warm," Elissa spoke decidedly, while she found herself able to support the bowl with her hand, urging for more water. Zevran soon lifted the bowl from her flimsy grasp; she thought she had probably pushed her luck.

She looked up at him when he lifted her higher in his grasp. Unable to put into words what she felt she tried to put it into a single gaze; her thoughts, her worries, but most of all her gratitude.

She had expected an answer or an explanation, even bad news.

But not a kiss.

When his lips reached hers, he had taken her tighter in his grasp, almost lifting her entire body from the floor into his arms. He pressed up against her with a fervent urgency, like he wanted to take his claim on her now he had the chance.

The heat she had previously felt from his bare chest now fed her cold mouth, radiating comfortable warmth through her body. Although she longed to show him her appreciation, this was not the way she had intended it. Yet when she tried to pull herself away, the assassin's arms locked her deeper into his embrace.

His lips moved against hers in desperation, yet with the infamous experience he had always took pride in. Despite Elissa's struggle to push him away, he seemed determined to win her over.

Her thoughts raced through her mind, finding a solution to put an end to this, until she managed to lift her hand and dig her nails deep into his cheek. She scratched him raggedly, and that same instant his pressing mouth left hers. She fell into his lap, pushing the air right out of her lungs.

Elissa panted while she crawled away from her friend, who patted the newfound scratches with his fingertips but did not look displeased. When she finally slumped to the floor under the effort, she looked back at the spot she had left him, still on his knees on the bedroll. His eyes hadn't lost their perseverance, yet he looked apprehensive.

"You…"

This was all Elissa managed to blurt out, still out of breath under the physical endeavor she had just undergone.

"Elissa…"

Zevran spoke slowly, not at all apologetically but clearly looking for words. Elissa had wanted nothing more then to speak her mind, but all the strength had left her. All she could do was wait for him to continue while she caught her breath.

"It might seem, mischievous, to say the least, to seemingly take advantage of this situation."

Elissa had expected to read conflict or even pain on his face, but instead he seemed more like his old self than ever. The words rolled off his tongue with his usual careful flamboyancy, and he slowly moved towards her while he spoke.

"But I have to know, Elissa. I carried you in my heart since the moment I laid eyes on you, a woman of pride and power, yet blessed with mercy, and beauty beyond belief. I tried not to give in, but…"

He once again lifted her off the ground, this time in a standing position, meeting her eyes intently. Elissa was moved by his words, and for a moment, didn't know what to say. He stroked her hair profusely, soothing her in her ordeal, ignoring that he was the one who induced it.

"But a man can only hold his patience for so long, Elissa. Tell me. Do you care for me?"

He held her close, awaiting her answer in desperate anticipation. His gaze was piercing, reading every emotion on her face but unwilling to interpret them for what they were. Elissa sighed and struggled to find and eventually speak the words that would answer his question.

"I do, but,"

Her words were smothered by Zevran's lips. This time they lost their urgency, but instead they seemed pleading. Pleading for an answer he finally realized Elissa couldn't give him.

She pushed him away with all her might and she succeeded. Although Zevran wasn't willing to let go, whether it was from his grasp or to leave her unsupported, he eventually complied when Elissa managed to raise her voice.

"No Zevran!" She hoarsely spoke under the effort of talking and standing upright in her poor condition. She swayed in her footsteps but her eyes warned him to keep his distance. When she ceased to find steady footing, she sunk to the ground on her knees. Tears welled in her eyes, whether it was from exertion or sadness, she was not sure.

The moment spared her little time to consider.