A knock came to the door while Nick was in the shower and Greg jumped at the sound. He heard the knock again and got up slowly and went to the door. He was scared to open it. He looked through the peephole and breathed a sigh of relief. It was Sara. He turned off the alarm and opened the door. "Hey Sara."
She smiled at seeing him. "Greg, I'm so glad to see you up and about," she said as he let her come in and quickly closed the door. She saw him reset the alarm. He turned around and looked at her sheepishly. "Can I get a hug from you? I could really use one."
She smiled brightly at him for even asking. "Sure, Greg." He walked into her arms and she held him lightly, not wanting to hurt him as he still had some soreness from his wounds.
He felt comfortable in her arms, the only person he really did. He often remembered her being the first one on the scene when he was nearly beaten to death years earlier. She was so tender and caring towards him and somehow made him feel better then. She'd been his best friend for years and missed her when she went away. He was so glad when she came back and mostly stuck around. She took a week or two off at a time to see her husband, Grissom but always came back to Las Vegas.
Nick came out, hearing voices and saw Greg in Sara's arms and felt a twinge of jealousy. "Hey, Sara. Glad you could stop by."
Greg pulled out of her arms quickly after hearing his boyfriend's voice. He turned around and almost looked scared for a moment at Nick catching him in Sara's arms. He didn't say anything.
"Can we go into your living room and sit down?" Sara said behind him.
"Sure," Greg said and led her to the sofa.
"So I bet it's nice to be home," she said to him.
"Yeah, it's nice being out of that hospital and being able to be home again and be able to move freely."
"I'm sure. How are you feeling?" She asked.
"I'm feeling okay. Still sore in spots and as you can see still waiting on some wounds to heal better," he said pointing to his neck.
Nick kind of felt like the odd man out. "So Sara, are you going to hang around for a while, because if you are, I'm going to run some errands."
Sara looked at him, seeing he looked tired. "Yeah sure I can stick around until you get back."
"Thanks. Greg anything you want me to get you while I'm out?"
Greg shook his head.
"Okay, I will be back in about a half hour or so."
Sara waited until Nick was gone before asking Greg what that was about.
"We argued a little. He just doesn't understand what I went through. He wanted me to talk and I did some but now I think it was a mistake. I don't think he can handle it," Greg told her as he went to the kitchen to grab something for them to drink.
"Well it can't be easy for him knowing what you went through, knowing he was unable to help you. You didn't see how he was when you were missing. He was miserable and yet never, ever gave up hope when many of us had. We had no clue what happened to you at all. It was like you disappeared into thin air. If it was not for that anonymous call he received you would still probably be there," she told him.
He shuddered even thinking he might still be there. He handed her a bottle of water and sat down next to her. "I know he did everything he could to find me. Jasper never wanted me found. I guess I just got lucky." He looked down at the floor.
She studied his appearance closer. He still looked tired and worn out and there was that sadness there, so evident anytime you looked into his big eyes. "How are you really doing?"
He shook his head woefully. "I don't know Sara. I don't know if I am dealing with this as I should be or not. Nick said I needed to talk about things and I told him some things. I don't know that it has helped any. I think it just makes me angrier about everything."
"Well anger is a good thing. You should be angry about what happened to you."
"Perhaps, but then there is so much pain still. I just rather not think about it, period. Can we change the subject of me? I am sick of talking about me. Can we talk about you? How are you and Grissom?"
She smiled, understanding his need to not talk about what happened. "Well, we are doing well. He is actually planning on paying a visit here soon. I know he wants to see you and see how you are doing. He was very concerned about you. Did you know he was actually here for a couple weeks in helping with the search?"
He shook his head. "No, I had no idea. I guess a lot happened when I was away."
Sara frowned. She didn't like how he said away, as if he took a vacation or something. "So, uh, have you thought about coming back to work?"
He looked at her, surprised. "Work? Uh, no I have not thought about it at all. I think it is a bit soon, Sara."
"I just thought it would help you take you mind off of everything. You know, getting wrapped up in a case," she suggested.
"Yeah, I guess but still it is too soon. I mean I only got out of the hospital yesterday," he said to her.
"So if not going back to work soon, then what do you plan on doing? Just hanging out at the house here?"
He was getting a little mad. "Sara, what I do is my business. I already have Nick breathing down my throat, I don't need you too. Can't you all just let me deal with this how I want to?" He got up and walked to the patio door. He looked outside, suddenly wondering if Jasper was out there somewhere looking back at him. He felt a shiver run down his spine.
"Greg, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I don't want you to feel pressured. I'm just very concerned for my best friend, that's all." She saw him wrap his arms around himself.
"I know. I'm sorry…I seem to be saying that a lot lately." He shrugged. He remained staring out the window.
She felt a bit guilty about bringing him down. "Hey, I almost forgot. I brought you something." She dug in her bag.
He turned around to see what she was talking about. She found what she was looking for and got up and went to him. She handed him a bundle. He looked at it strangely. "What is this?" He asked her.
She laughed a little. "I am not good at wrapping things. Just unravel it and you will see."
He unraveled the blue fabric and saw that it was a scarf. She saw his mouth open about to say something. She quickly spoke up. "You know it's getting cold out and I figured you could use a scarf and plus, well it will help hide some things you might not want everyone to see. And I've always like you in blue."
He ran the scarf through his hands. It was a nice soft fabric. He didn't know what to say. He was kind of mad that she thought he wanted to hide his neck scarring and on the other hand he was touched for the same reason, caring enough to give him something to use that was reasonable.
Seeing he was not speaking, she took it to mean he was offended by it. "Look, you can give it back to me if you really do not want it. I am sure Grissom could always use a new scarf." She said quickly.
He looked up at her and smiled. "No, I like it. I'm not offended, you mean well. I appreciate the thought." He gave her a quick hug. "Thanks Sara."
She blushed a little. "You're welcome." She took it out of his hands and wrapped it around his neck. "It does look good on you," she said proudly.
He smiled nervously. Feeling something new wrapped around his neck suddenly brought back memories of being chained to the wall. It sent him into a panic attack. He started pulling at it to take it off and threw it on the ground. He started shaking and was having heart palpitations and shortness of breath.
Sara's eyes widened at his sudden reaction. "Greg, oh Jesus, I didn't think." She took his hand and guided him to sit down. He was gasping for breath. "It's okay, just take slower breaths. Come on, Greg do this for me."
Nick came home and walked in to see Sara frantic over Greg, who was having a full blown panic attack. He dropped the bags he was carrying and rushed over to them.
"What happened?" He asked quickly as he sat on the coffee table, facing Greg. He took his hands and started rubbing the back of them with his thumbs. It seemed to work before in calming him.
Sara shook her head as tears threatened. "I'm so stupid. I bought him a scarf and I put it around his neck to try it on him without thinking. He just started hyperventilating and threw it off."
Nick saw the offending object in a pile on the carpet. "It's okay, Sara. He gets them a bit since…" He didn't need to finish. She knew what he was talking about.
"Hey G, remember, your safe here. You just got to breathe slower. Take slow breaths," Nick said to him. He nodded that he understood and managed to take control over his breathing.
Greg looked into the deep brown eyes of the man he loved and felt him rubbing circles on the back of his hands. His hands still trembled some but it was easing down as was his breathing. After another minute he was back to normal. He pulled he hands out of Nick's and rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants. "I'm okay now." He turned apologetically to Sara.
"I'm sorry I freaked out on you. Just having that around my neck suddenly made me feel like I was being strangled by that collar."
"No, don't be sorry. I was not thinking. I should have just let it be. I'm sorry Greg," she said sincerely.
"So we are both sorry. Let's just leave it at that," he forced a smile to his face.
Nick had been a little hurt when he pulled out of his grasp again. He got up and went to pick up the bags he dropped and took them into the kitchen.
Sara got up. "I think I should go now that Nick is back. I'll check in with you by phone though and let you know next time I plan on stopping by."
Greg nodded. "Okay. Again thanks for the scarf…really." She smiled at him.
"Hey, let me walk you out," Nick said to Sara. He wanted to talk to her a minute alone. He walked outside with her for a moment. "I'll be right back," he yelled back to Greg.
"So did he say anything about him opening up to me?" Nick asked her once they were outside.
Sara sighed. "Yes we did talk some. He told me he is not sure he should have told you all he did."
Nick walked away from her a moment. "I don't know what to do. I don't know if making him talk is good or if it is causing more pain for him. They always say talking helps, but I'm not so sure about that. It just makes you relive everything, I know. I don't want him to resent me for pushing him."
"Are you pushing him?"
"No, I'm trying to keep my distance. He doesn't like me touching him unless he is having a panic attack. When he did talk, it was out of the blue. I was not expecting it and then he tells me these horrific things they did to him. God, Sara, I want to kill that bastard, Jasper. I want to make him suffer and die a painful death. I never thought I would say that about someone. But even doing that would not help Greg and what he went through. He will have to live with this the rest of his life."
Sara could understand his despair and anger. She had seen how things affected Greg first hand now. She laid a hand on his shoulder. "All we can do is be there for him and support him for whatever he needs. I'm just glad you've been there. He would not have opened up to you if he didn't feel comfortable telling you. He still trusts you and depends on you, no matter what you think."
"I know you are right, sometimes I just need reassurance," he said with a smile. He gave her a hug. "Thanks for stopping by Sara. I might stop into work for a little bit tonight to catch up on a few things."
"Okay, well you take care and take care of Greg. He needs you, remember make him your priority, not your need to catch Jasper," she told him.
"Will do. Say Hi to Grissom for me." He waved goodbye to her before going back inside.
Greg knew Nick went out to talk to Sara about him. He figured he was probably telling her what a hassle he was to take care of. He knew he was an emotional mess and he knew they would never quite understand.
He grabbed his laptop and tried immersing himself in an online game while Nick was outside.
Nick came in and saw him on his laptop again. He went to the kitchen to get the things out of the bags he brought in. He didn't say a word to Greg and he hadn't said a word to him. After he finished unloading mostly everything, he took one thing he picked up. He paused a moment wondering if he should really do this now. Then he convinced himself he needed to. He had to show Greg his love for him. He carried it over with him to the living room. He sat next to Greg on the sofa, who still had not said a word. He was busy staring at his computer. Nick pushed the lid down on his laptop.
"Hey, I was in the middle of a game of Mag Jong tiles. I was almost done," he looked angrily at Nick.
"I bought you something." Nick held out a small box. Greg looked at him with wide eyes.
"What's this?" He asked nervously all of the sudden.
"It's something I've been holding out on picking up until I knew you were back home safe with me. It's something I was thinking about giving you for a long time now. Open it," Nick said to him with a nervous smile.
Greg took the box and opened it up. Inside was a silver band with some kind of Celtic knotting on it. He picked it up and looked at it more closely. Inside it was engraved. Love you always, Nick.
"The Celtic knotting symbolizes eternal love. I want you to wear it to know that I will always love you, no matter what."
Greg stared at the ring, confused. He suddenly put it back in the box and closed it. "I can't take it." He put it back on the coffee table and then got up quickly and ran into the bathroom.
Nick sat dumbfounded at what just happened. He thought Greg would be nervous about it but didn't think it would give it back to him. He was hurt beyond words. He thought Greg loved him. Maybe it was too soon to give it to him. Maybe he should have waited but he wanted to show him how much he loved him without having to show it physically. He didn't know how to react. Should he confront him and ask him why he couldn't accept it? Or should he just leave him be and let him think? Maybe he would change his mind. Nick was really hurt though. He left the box on the table and got up and went into his bedroom. He sprawled out on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering where he went wrong and what he could do about it.
Nick heard the water running in the bathroom and wondered what Greg was doing in there. Perhaps taking another shower, he just hoped he would not scald himself again because he felt dirty. Four months of being forced to have sex with men you didn't want to, he really could not blame him for showering often. He probably would have too.
A few minutes later he heard the water stop running and the door open and then another door close. He figured he went into his bedroom. He decided to get up and watch some TV in the living room. He would deal with Greg when he was ready to come out.