A/N- Hello my lovely readers. I'm so happy to hear that this story is moving a lot of you. I know a lot of it is hard to read and this chapter will have a bit more of that hard to read stuff but glad you all are seeing it through. This chapter will reveal a new way of Greg dealing with his memories. Love reading reviews!
Greg had not expected Nick to do anything like that for him. When he saw the ring he knew what it meant but he was not ready to deal with that after all that he had just gone through in the last few months. It was almost like another form of ownership. He belonged to Nick and the ring would show that. He didn't want to belong to anyone but himself right now. Plus he was convinced that after a while Nick would grow sick of him and his attitude and want him out of his life anyway. He needed to feel control over his own life before he dedicated himself to anyone, even Nick.
He had finished doing what he needed to in the bathroom and then had headed into his bedroom. He fell asleep and woke up an hour later abruptly from a nightmare again. He didn't scream this time around, so Nick did not know about it. His palms were sweaty and he was shaking some. He needed to know he was not alone. He got up and opened the door. He walked out and saw Nick watching TV in the living room. He almost chuckled to himself. How was he supposed to feel in control of his own life if he kept seeking security in just knowing Nick was there?
He ignored Nick once he saw him and went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. He opened the freezer and realized Nick had bought more comfort foods for him. There were frozen French bread pizzas and taquitos. He couldn't help but smile knowing Nick was probably cringing when he bought all that junk food, seeing as he was a health food freak. He pulled out a French bread pizza and then decided he should ask Nick if he wanted something.
With his back still turned to him, he spoke. "Uh, do you want pizza bread? I'm making one for myself."
Nick had known Greg came out but again he figured he would wait until he spoke up first. Being offered food was not what he expected but it was a start. "Sure, I'll have one. I also bought nachos and cheese for you."
Greg grinned again. He really should say something more meaningful to Nick. He meant well enough. He first popped the pizzas into the oven and then opened the cabinet where the Nachos and cheese were. He pulled them out and brought them out to the living room.
He saw the ring box still sitting where he left it and felt guilty again. He tried to ignore it and placed down the bag of chips and the cheese sauce on the coffee table. He sat down and opened the bag and jar. He grabbed some chips and just ate them without any cheese. He sat back and noticed Nick was watching Discovery Channel's Myth Busters. He noticed Nick did not even go for the nachos. He just stayed focused on the TV. He felt even worse now. He had to say something.
He grabbed the remote control and put the TV on mute. Before Nick could protest he spoke up. "I'm sorry I can't take the ring now. I know you just want to show your love for me but right now, after being collared and branded, I feel like it is you trying to show your possession over me." He held up his hand when Nick was about to speak up again. "I know you said no one owns me and I know you did not mean that by the ring, but right now it's how it feels to me. I just need more time. I want to make sure that in another couple of months you will still want to give me that ring but for now I think you should take it back." He took the box and held it out for Nick to take.
Nick looked hurt and angry but he took the box from him. "Just answer this for me, Greg. What makes you think that in a few months my feelings will change for you?"
Greg looked at him sadly. "You know why, Nick. I'm not the same man I was over four months ago. You may come to realize, after spending enough time with me, that you no longer love me. And even if you still do love me, you may not be able to handle living with me anymore. I just want both of us to be sure we want to keep going as a couple."
Nick's eyes swirled with emotion. "I'll never stop loving you, I swear to you."
"Then if that is the case, in a few months you can give me this ring again," he smiled bitter sweetly.
Nick nodded his head. "Fine, fine then I'll wait and give this to you at a future date, I promise."
"Okay. So are we okay for now? Because I really hate the tension between us."
"Well you're creating it, Greg," the Texan told him, feeling miffed.
"Fair enough, I'll try to stop doing that," he paused a moment before speaking again. "Um, so is this a new episode of Myth Busters?" He asked, changing the topic.
"No, it is a repeat. I think it was on like 3 months ago."
"Oh," Greg said. So Nick was so worried about me that he was watching Myth Busters while I was being tortured and raped, he thought.
Nick realized what he said and quickly wanted to correct himself. "The programming guide said it aired then but this is my first time seeing it."
"Got ya," the younger man said feeling a little better that Nick wasn't at home watching TV, while he was only wishing for death to come.
"Say, I need to go into work for a couple hours later on. Are you going to be okay here or do you want to come in with me?" Nick asked him.
He thought about it for a moment. "I think I'll be okay here. I mean we have an alarm system now and it's only going to be a couple hours, right?"
Nick nodded. "Yeah, I have to check on some paperwork, you know, assistant supervisor stuff."
"Yes, I know." The buzzer on the oven went off, signaling that their pizzas were done. "Dinner time," Greg announced before he got up to get their food.
A few hours later Greg was on the sofa, trying to relax but was finding it hard. Nick had just left to go to the lab and even though he thought he would be okay, his nerves were getting the best of him. Nothing on TV was interesting him and he could not get into any games. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration and suddenly remembered he wanted to cut his hair. He got up and went into the bathroom. He found a pair of scissors and hair clippers. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at his unruly hair. It had grown out to be longer and somewhat curly again.
"I always loved your hair longer, better to yank your head back with," Jasper said as he pulled hard on his hair causing him to yelp in pain. He felt Jasper's other hand trail down his torso and down to his cock. He then started rubbing him. "You know I still make you hard, you can't deny it. You love it when I touch you."
"Fuck you," he responded back, earning him another hard tug on his hair.
Jasper chuckled. "You would love to, I know it, but we both know that in this relationship it's you who gets fucked and often." He felt a tongue go in his ear and he tried to squirm away but was held steady by the hand clutching his hair.
Jasper's other hand was working his cock and he hated how his body reacted to him. "See look at you, your practically panting for me," he laughed maliciously. He worked his cock until he was hard and practically ready to beg for him to continue to release the pressure that built up, when Jasper pulled his hand away. He pushed his head down roughly with his other hand.
Greg was on his knees once again on the mattress. His hands had been cuffed behind his back so he could not struggle or touch himself. He watched as Jasper reached into his pocket and pulled out a testicle cuff. "You bastard," he said to him only to illicit laughing from the man torturing him.
"No, I think you mean Master. Now hold still or this will hurt more," he grinned as he knelt down to put the cuff. Greg cringed when it was placed on him. Jasper stood up and looked down at his slave. "Damn, you are so fucking hot." He started rubbing himself and Greg could already see the bulge in his pants. He immediately lowered his head, not wanting to see his growing excitement.
He heard Jasper grunt and the sound of a zipper go down. He closed his eyes as a tear rolled down his cheek. Next thing he knew the hand was back in his hair and pulling his head back. "Time to pleasure your Master." He didn't bother fighting it; it was a losing battle every time. "Yes, Master," he replied bitterly. If he fought he would just end up with the O-Ring gag in his mouth. He opened his mouth but kept his eyes shut. Jasper filled his mouth with his girth. Greg felt the hand grip his hair tighter. "Look at me when you are pleasuring me, Bitch!" He opened his eyes and glared with hatred at the man whose cock he was sucking. Jasper just smiled down at him in ecstasy.
He took the scissors and started cutting away at the length frantically. The memory made him want to be rid of the longer hair even more so. He took the clippers to trim it up and make it look a little more civilized. After about 20 minutes he had his hair shorter again, more like it had been before his horror story began. The pain of the memories was still with him though. He opened up the cabinet and pulled out the razor blade he hid behind the bandages. He looked at it a moment before pulling up his sleeves. He found a new spot and dragged it across his arm. He welcomed the new pain as it drove out the other pain and memories for a while. He made a couple more cuts before washing off the blade and replacing it in its hiding spot. Then he placed clean bandages over the new cuts. He pulled his sleeves back down. He looked in the mirror at his shorter hair and felt better.
He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pint of Chunky Monkey and then went back into the living room and sat down on the sofa. He did channel surfing until he found an old sitcom to settle on watching.
About an hour had passed when he suddenly heard something. He turned the TV on mute and listened again. He got up and closed all the drapes in the house so no one could see him. Then he went back into the living room. He thought he heard someone at the door making noise. Jasper knew where he lived. He took him before from outside their house, he could come to get him again. It sounded like scratching at the door. He suddenly backed up into the corner of the couch and pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around him. He was convinced Jasper was back to take him. "Go away," he whispered in fear. "Please go away," he said softly and closed his eyes, fear taking over his senses.
Nick came home and saw a cat stretched out on their doorstep. "Shoo, Clementine, go back to your home. You're lucky you did not trigger any alarm," he said to the tabby colored cat. The cat got up and circled around his leg once before leaving. "Silly cat," Nick chuckled.
He unlocked the door and stepped in right away to turn off the alarm. He locked the door and then heard a small voice begging "Go away." He walked into the living room and saw Greg crunched up in the corner of the sofa. He noticed first that his hair was shorter and then he saw that he was trembling. His eyes were closed as he mumbled.
Nick walked up to him cautiously. "Greg, it's just me, Nick. No one else is here." Suddenly Greg yelled out, his eyes opening wide. "Don't touch me…please just leave me alone. Please don't, please," he begged as tears came to his eyes. "I can't take anymore, please, stop, please Master."
Hearing the word "master" shook Nick into realizing Greg was having a full blown flashback. "Hey, baby, it's only me, Nick. I'm not going to hurt you," he told him calmly as his eyes started to water up seeing the fear and pain in his boyfriend's eyes.
Greg curled up even tighter and lowered his head. "Please Master, let me rest this once," he begged again. Nick could see talking was not working. He needed to shake him out of this. He reached out and squeezed his arm.
Greg cried out and swung out his arm, hitting Nick in the face. Nick stumbled back, shocked by the hit. He looked over at Greg who was now holding his arm as if it were broken. His eyes were wide and looking at Nick in shock. "Nicky?" he finally said in that small, childlike voice.
Nick decided to try sitting next to him on the sofa as a new approach. "Yes, Greg, it's only me. I'm not going to hurt you." He held up his hands to show he was not going to touch him.
Greg lifted his hands to cover his mouth. "Oh God! What am I doing?" His hands went back through his short hair. "I'm sorry Nicky," he said in the small voice.
Nick's heart was breaking seeing him so torn up inside. "It's okay, Baby. Can you tell me what happened? You cut your hair?"
Greg ran his hand through his hair again. It felt like he did that days ago. "Yeah, I was tired of it being longer, so I cut it myself. But I thought, I thought someone was here. I thought Jasper was here. I heard noise at the door."
Nick sighed, the cat. "Mrs. Schroder's cat, Clementine was on our doorstep when I came home. She's been known to come scratching at our door. You probably heard her."
Greg buried his head in his hands. "Oh God, I am so messed up. A freaking cat can't even scratch at our door without me flipping out."
Nick wanted so badly to take Greg in his arms and hold him, but after hearing him so fearful of being touched, he dared not. Instead he tried doing the only thing Greg seemed to allow him to do. He pulled his hands away from his face and held them. His hands were freezing. Greg just gazed at him with tear-filled eyes. He started rubbing his hands in his. "Say, I stopped on the way home and picked up a DVD I thought you might like. Why don't we watch it together and take your mind off everything?"
Greg nodded. "What movie?"
"Toy Story 3," he said with a smirk.
He made him laugh a little. "Are you serious? Toy Story 3?"
"Hey, I know you love those movies and well, it came out when you were gone and it just came out on DVD. I never got to see it either. So I thought, why not. You need something silly anyway," Nick told him.
"Yes, I guess I do. Okay, let me use the bathroom and I will be right back to watch it." Nick let go of his hands so he could get up. He watched him as he went down the hall into the bathroom. He breathed a sigh of relief that he managed to break him out of the state of terror he was in. He still thought Greg needed professional help. He was going to have to try talking him into it again.
He got up and put the DVD in and waited for Greg to come back. He came back out several minutes later with a sheepish look on his face. He came over and flopped down on the sofa. "Sorry I freaked on you again."
"Don't worry about it. I'm kind of getting used to it now."
Greg frowned, unconsciously running his hand over his arms. "Hmmm, well I'm working on it not happening too much more often. I can't very well go out in public if I am going to freak out every time."
"No, I guess not. So anyway, let's start this movie."
"Sure, Buzz, to infinity and beyond!" Greg giggled.
"Funny guy." Nick was glad to hear him goof around a little though, it proved to him it would take a while but slowly he would be picking up the pieces back to feeling normal.