Greg's knee kept bouncing up and down. Nick finally put his hand on it to stop it. "Greg, stop it. It'll be okay." Greg looked at him and shook his head.

"No, it's not okay. I'm in a shrink's office where I have to talk about humiliating things that happened to me to someone who doesn't even know me. I now realize why you hate going. I mean talking to someone after Warrick died was one thing but this is completely different," he said to him.

The dark haired man sighed. "I know it sucks but I really think it'll help. You have to at least try."

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" He moaned.

The door opened and a petite woman, with long, dark hair came in. She wore a pale blue pant suit. "Good afternoon, gentleman. I'm glad you could both make it." She shook both of their hands and took a seat in a chair. They both were sitting on a sofa in the office.

After getting reacquainted a little she got to the reason they were there. "So Greg, Nick tells me you have been having nightmares and panic attacks still. He also tells me that he discovered you have been harming yourself. Would you like to begin with that and why you are doing it?"

Greg scowled; he really didn't want to talk to a stranger still about what was going on in his life. She could see his hesitation. "You know, I've had many patients who were victims of sexual assaults and been terrorized. You're not the first patient who's been leery of speaking to a psychiatrist."

Nick nudged Greg and whispered to him. "You said you would be willing to do this. Don't chicken out now."

Greg sighed heavily. "Yes, I've been cutting myself. It helps me drown out all the other pain from what happened to me."

"I understand. May I see your arms for a moment?" Greg wondered why she wanted to see them when he already admitted to doing it. He frowned but he rolled up his sleeves and held out his arms to her.

She saw that he had been doing it for a while. "When did you start doing this? Some look to be partially healed already."

He pushed his sleeves back down. "I guess the day after I came home from the hospital. I was frustrated with having the flashbacks and while I was shaving I just took out a blade and dragged it across my arm. The pain was not too bad, I'd felt worse but something about it made me forget everything else and I realized I could control the pain by how deep or long I made the cut. It was something I could finally feel like I controlled again. For over four months I had no control over anything in my life. The control was all at the hands of others. It was the first sort of relief I felt."

She thought a moment before asking another question. "Doesn't Nick let you do things at home? Don't you have control over things in your life now?"

He looked at Nick a moment, who just shrugged then, looked back at the doctor. "Well yeah. I mean I can do what I want pretty much now."

"Then why don't you feel in control still? Or is it more about feeling new pains that were not caused by others? Pains that are able to make you forget momentarily about your painful memories?"

He sighed and looked down. "Yes, it is pain that I've created to make me forget my other pains and help take my focus off my memories. Nothing else has worked but this. Talking about what happened only makes my nightmares worse."

Nick looked at him surprised. "I thought you were not getting them as much."

Greg turned to him. "I've still been having them, just not waking up screaming like I was. I haven't been waking you up from them. I just deal with them on my own."

Dr. Warren spoke up. "You've been having panic attacks still too?"

"Yes, sometimes when I am in the shower or when I wake up. I'm usually able to calm myself from them after a few minutes," he told her. He could see out of the corner of his eyes Nick frowning.

Dr. Warren noticed it too. "Nick, you care to say something to Greg?"

He took a deep breath before speaking. "Yeah, I can't figure out why you feel you need to hide how you are feeling from me. I told you I would do anything for you."

The dark blonde looked at him. "Nick, as I told you before you can't solve all my problems. I know you want to but it is simply not possible. Plus I've seen how it bothers you when I tell you things they did to me."

"Nick, does it bother you when he tells you things?" Dr. Warren asked him.

Nick closed his eyes and shook his head. "He's right about me wanting to make things better for him and knowing I can't do anything does bother me." He opened his eyes again and looked at Greg. "It's me feeling guilty I did not find you soon enough to prevent some of the things that happened to you. I feel responsible, like I did not try hard enough."

His partner's big brown eyes softened. "Look, Jasper didn't want me to be found. If Chris had not called…" He couldn't think about even still being there. "You did the best you could and you did find me." His eyes were watering up some. "You found me and you have helped me a lot to getting to where I am at now. I'm not sure I would be at all sane if you were not here for me when I really needed you. Knowing you are still here, I mean here right now with me, it means everything to me. You are not responsible for what they did to me but you are responsible for keeping my head above the water. I may not be telling you about every nightmare or panic attack I have because I want to be able to control things on my own, without you always taking time out of your day to babysit me. I'm trying to get to a point where I am not scared to leave our house alone or even be left alone for a long period of time and to do that I need to try to deal with my issues on my own."

Dr. Warren smiled a little. "You know, I think if you are able to stop the self-mutilation, I think you sound like you are doing the best you can. Your ordeal was long and drawn out. It's going to be quite some time for the nightmares to decrease. Plus since one of your assailants is still out there, you're going to have that fear. Hopefully he will be found and then you can truly move on. But if he is not, you do have a wonderful support system in Nick and other friends I've met of yours. Making this move to come to talk to me, together is very encouraging and healthy."

"Thanks, I guess," Greg said sheepishly.

She chuckled. "One thing I will do for you is prescribe some medication to help with your anxiety and those panic attacks. Also I suggest you keep a regular visit with me, say once a week. You can increase it if you want to but overall I think you are doing well considering, except for cutting yourself. Nick, I want you to keep an eye on him and Greg you let him."

The two men looked at each other and nodded in agreement. Nick then turned to the doctor. "Can I speak with you alone a moment?" Dr. Warren nodded and looked at Greg. "Are you okay with him talking to me alone?"

Greg shrugged. "Sure. I'll step out in the lobby and wait for you there," he said to Nick.

Nick waited until he was gone before speaking. "I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you seeing us on short notice. I wanted to ask you if you really think it is better for him to talk to me rather than you."

She smiled. "He trusted you to tell you things in the first place. You just have to be careful of your reactions and not to offend him or make him think less of himself. From what you told me on the phone he is still dealing with feeling humiliated and somewhat dehumanized since he was chained up like a dog. Just make sure you let him make his own decisions and let him know he does have control over his life again. That seems to be something that is really bothering him. The self-mutilation is proof of that. Just keep an eye on him. The Xanax I will write out for him should help some with his anxiety attacks. Call me if you get worried about him again but overall I think you are helping him, even though you don't think you are. Just being there for him and listening to him are good enough. Take care and see you in a week."

"Thanks Dr. Warren. It means a lot hearing that come from you. See you."

He went back into the lobby and saw Greg sitting down, reading a magazine. "You ready to go?" Nick asked him.

"Yeah, the nurse said they will call in my prescription to our pharmacy so we can pick it up on the way home. Do you think we can grab something to eat on the way home? I am starving," Greg said with a smirk.

"Sure, whatever you want, G."

They had not said much about the session with Dr. Warren until they got home. Greg was sitting on the recliner chair while Nick sat stretched out on the sofa. Greg was watching Nick as he watched TV. He had been wondering what Nick said to Dr. Warren in private. He wondered if he told the doctor that he was having a hard time dealing with him. He still was amazed at Nick's patience with him. He was still waiting for the bottom to drop out on him, that being the day when Nick told him he couldn't be with him anymore; that he didn't love him. He lowered his head and stared down at his arms.

Nick had felt his love's eyes on him and glanced over and noticed he had just lowered his head. He seemed to be staring at the cuts he made to his arms. It still pained Nick to know that Greg felt better about injuring himself than telling him about the painful memories that haunted him.

"Greg, I can see something is on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?" He finally asked him.

Greg lifted his head and looked at him. "Do you really think you will still love me if I can't be with you after so long?"

Nick saw that sadness in his eyes that he wanted to make disappear. He had no idea why he was feeling like this right now. He thought this afternoon had gone well. "I'll wait for you forever, if I have to, Greg. You are the only one for me. I've only been with a few men in my life and some women before I knew what I really wanted, but no one ever made me feel the way I do with you. My life is nothing without you. I realized that in those four months you were missing. I love you, Greg and remember I have that ring waiting for you when you are ready," he said with a smile.

Greg sucked in his lower lip and chewed on it a moment. Nick waited for him to say something. "Do you still love me? Perhaps that is the question I should be asking," he said.

"Yes," he responded quickly. "I do love you, Nick. I told you that. I just worry that you will one day realize just how messed up I really am, mentally and physically and be done with me."

"Not going to happen and I wish you would just accept that you are stuck with me. Remember I am the older one here. Maybe I should be worrying that you will dump me for some younger guy," Nick told him with a light tone.

Greg smirked. "That's not going to happen."

"Then stop thinking the worst. I'm not going to leave you, okay. Now can we stop this argument?" Nick said with a bit of a huff.

"Okay. I'm sorry. It's just that…he really fucked with my head too, you know. I'm beginning to realize that more and more now. I didn't think much about it until recently. He would tell me that it was best I was with him, because the only thing I was good for was …," he paused and closed his eyes. He could just picture Jasper standing over him again, glaring at him with malice.

Nick got worried when he started talking about something that happened and got pulled back into that moment. It usually ended up in a panic attack occurring. "Greg, you don't have to say anymore if you do not want to."

He shook his head and sighed. "No. You need to know to understand as Dr. Warren said. He said I was only good for fucking. He asked me if you and I had a lot of sex. I didn't answer. He snickered and said if anything you were probably always on top; that I was always going to be submissive because he trained me that way. He said I was now the ultimate submissive. He was right."

Nick sat up and moved closer to the end of the sofa, closer to him. "I never forced you to be submissive like he did. You preferred it."

Greg looked up at him with somber, dark eyes. "Yeah but he was right. In our relationship, I hardly have ever taken control. I always let someone take control over me. I use to like it but now…God, now I can't even think about sex. It just totally freaks me out. I hate that I can only remember the bad times and not the good times anymore. I only think of them now. And if we are ever together again, how will you look at me naked without some sort of disgust or pity? I think that is what bothers me the most."

Nick didn't know how to respond only because he had a point. It would be difficult to look at all the scars on his body and know that they came from his time in Jasper's clutches and knowing what they did to him. He frowned. "It will take time, as I've said before. But one day we both will be able to move on, we have to believe that."

The younger man stood up suddenly. He looked down at Nick. "I hope you are right." He was quiet a moment and walked to the patio door. "You know, there is something I haven't mentioned and I've been thinking about it lately."

"What is it?" Nick asked, hoping it was not something really horrible again.

"There were a couple of times, after I already knew of Rex and Chris, that Jasper came down with someone in a black leather mask again. Jasper never said who it was and the man never spoke. I thought it was Chris behind the mask, one of Jasper's games in trying to mess with my head more but now I'm not so sure," Greg said as he looked out in the distance.

Nick was afraid to ask but had to. "You think maybe there was another man involved? Did he, uh, do anything to you?"

"He wore a condom. I thought maybe it was Chris because he would wear one all of the time. But when the guy in the black leather mask was there, it was during times when Jasper would pour the horrible liquor down my throat and it threw off my senses. What if there is another man out there and I have no clue who it is?" He turned to look at Nick, fear in his eyes.

Nick didn't even want to think that there could be another man out there who had raped Greg who they might never identify. "I'm sure they were just trying to mess with you. It was probably one of the others."

"Hmmm, yeah, Jasper liked messing with my head like I said. You are probably right. I should just stop thinking about it. I'm going to shower and go to bed. I got a headache and want to get some sleep. Goodnight Nick," he said, trying to forget the man in the black mask. It had to be Chris, he thought to himself.

"Okay Greg. Good night. I'll stay up for a while longer." He looked after him as he turned and walked away. He was worried with this new insight but hoped there wasn't anyone else out there. Greg looked depressed again and only hoped his dreams didn't turn into nightmares that night.

A/N-Again thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Still have a ways to go on this story so hang on...