A/N-Another new chapter for everyone. Skipping ahead a little bit of time here to move the story along a bit. This is a pretty busy chapter, lots of new things, not all good. Hope you enjoy!
Greg was picking up the dishes from the table and placing them in the sink to wash. He volunteered to clean up after the Thanksgiving dinner that he and Nick had together. They had prepared a pretty simple one. Nick had made the turkey, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. Greg made his mom's stuffing that he had to have every year and they went with bakery bought pumpkin pie. Nick settled down on the sofa and stretched out in front of the TV, watching his beloved Cowboys play.
A few days had gone by since their joint session with Dr. Warren and Greg had been taking his Xanax and seemed to be handling things better. Nick had noticed that Greg had mentioned his nightmares were not as frequent or as bad. He was not sure it was the medication making them less or just him starting to come to terms with things better.
Greg finished cleaning up and went into the living room and sat on the recliner. He was not as into football as Nick was, but he tolerated it. Today had been the first day where he was really starting to feel back to normal. He had not cut himself in six days. He managed to go long periods of time without thinking about Jasper and the things he and his two buddies did to him. Focusing on the whole Thanksgiving meal had really helped him.
"Damn it! Ugh, I can't take this anymore," Nick shouted and turned the channel on the TV to Discovery. Greg grinned. Nick's Cowboys were being killed and he knew he couldn't take them getting a beating like they were.
"Can't win them all," he smirked. Nick turned and glared at him but when he saw Greg genuinely smiling he softened up. He had noticed the slow change in him in the last couple of days. Today had been the best of the days and he knew it was time to bring up the inevitable.
"You know, I really think you are ready to head back to work," Nick said to him.
The dark blonde's eyes widened. "Really? What makes you say that?"
"Today, I have not seen you this relaxed since you have been back. I think it is being able to focus on other things besides your ordeal that is helping. If you go back to work, you'll be focused on the cases and things will continue to improve."
Greg placed his hands behind his head and leaned back. "Funny you say that because I was actually thinking about going back to work, also. I agree that I need something else to focus on and I think I am comfortable enough to refocus on work. Just sitting around here all day doesn't help me, I realize that. I have too much time to think about what happened. Besides I miss seeing everyone."
Nick smiled. "I'm thrilled to hear you are ready to go back. I'll talk to Catherine about it and let you know what she says. I am sure she will say you can come back soon, but she has to run it by Ecklie first, you know."
Greg frowned a little. "Yeah, I know. Hopefully he will let me back without too many conditions or problems."
"Well I will call Catherine later on, since I know she is working tonight and let her know. Hopefully you can come back within the next few days. I'm really happy to see you willing to move on now."
Greg smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, well I had to at some point, I guess. Today has just been really nice. I truly am thankful for you being so loving and understanding. I don't know where I would be now without you."
Nick looked at him lovingly. "I feel the same way about you. I am thankful for you being safe here with me again. I am nothing without you."
"That's not true, but nice to hear anyway," he grinned.
Nick wanted to hold him or kiss him but he knew he was still not ready for that yet. He had touched his shoulder earlier and he had nearly jumped out of his skin. He still had his fears but he was able to recover from them better now and shake them off. He was hoping that maybe before the end of the year, Greg would be ready to be held by him.
"Say, are you up for a game of virtual football? It seems to be the only time my Cowboys win lately," Nick smirked.
Greg chuckled. "Sure, I'll let you beat me again in Madden NFL just so you can feel better about your football team."
It was the Monday following Thanksgiving and Greg was going into work for the first time in five months. Nick looked over at him in the passenger seat of the truck. He thought Greg looked a little nervous. "There's nothing to be nervous about. You're returning to a group of people who care about you."
Greg looked over at him. "I know. It's just…it's been a long time since I've worked. It's just going to feel weird."
"Well come on then. Let's go inside. Catherine knows that you want to work with me for the first week," Nick said to him. He smiled at him before climbing out of the truck. Greg shrugged and got out of the truck too. They headed into the crime lab. They went to the locker room first where they ran into Sara.
"Greg! I'm so glad to see you back," she said as she went over to him and gave him a hug. Nick looked away as he was still jealous that Greg was able to let Sara or Catherine hug him but he could not. He knew it had to do with the fact that Greg was not intimate with them and he felt more comfortable around them because of that. He just hoped one of these days soon he would be able to get that hug and maybe a kiss from his boyfriend. It was starting to tax on Nick's patience but he would not admit it.
"Yeah, well it is nice to be back. It'll be nice to focus on the cases again. I guess I am sort of sick of worrying about everything that involved what happened to me. I realized I needed to move on, even though Jasper is still out there somewhere. I can't hide forever," Greg said, knowing Sara would understand.
"It's great to see you taking that attitude, Greg. As for now, I think Catherine has some cases for us to work on. She was waiting on you two to arrive, so we better head over to her office," Sara said to them.
He nodded and looked over at Nick who was shoving his jacket into the locker and pulling on his CSI jacket and hat. He noticed Nick had been quiet since Sara hugged him. He knew it was not fair to him but there was something about the idea of letting Nick hold him that would make him feel unworthy and inferior after all that happened to him. He was not over that feeling yet. He looked away from him and grabbed his jacket for work.
"Come on, Greg. Let's go see Catherine," Nick said to him without looking at him. He walked out following Sara. Greg just followed behind, feeling a bit guilty.
After greeting the lab rats, saying hello to Ray and getting their cases from Catherine, Greg went with Nick to a 419. On the drive to the scene, Greg noticed there was tension between them. He didn't know what to say. He was sick of apologizing for how he was. Nick said he would be patient but he was starting to wonder if that promise was harder to keep than he thought.
"Everyone seemed happy to see you again," Nick said out of the blue. He stayed staring with his eyes on the road. He knew he should not be angry with him but he couldn't help it. He was sick of seeing everyone but him being able to get close to Greg.
Greg glanced over at him and then looked back out the window. "Yeah, they did. It was nice to see everyone again. At least it was only the newbies who looked at me weirdly, as if I was an alien. Everyone else treated me like normal, I guess. I was worried they would treat me like I was a fragile piece of glass."
"Well you still sort of are, Greg. I mean you hardly let me get close to you," Nick said without looking at him.
Greg huffed angrily. "You know, I was waiting for you to say something like that. You said you would be patient with me. God Nick! It's only been a little over a month since I was fucking collared to a wall like a fucking animal, getting raped! Why don't you go through what I went through for a few months and see how you deal with it?" He crossed his arms over his chest and stared out the window, not wanting to say any more. If Nick didn't get it yet, he never would.
They were just arriving at the scene. Nick stopped the Tahoe and sighed heavily. He knew he was wrong to say what he said when he said it. He was about to apologize to him but Greg was already opening the door and stepping out.
By the time he got out of the vehicle and grabbed his kit, Greg was already talking to Detective Vartann about the scene. Nick didn't get a chance to talk to him at all during the time on the scene. There was too much ground to cover and they had to take separate rooms to process.
It was not until they were back in the Tahoe, heading back to the crime lab when Nick was able to talk to him again. "Look, Greg. I'm sorry about earlier. I was wrong to say that to you. I did say I was going to be patient and that was not being very patient."
"See the thing is this keeps happening. We have to keep apologizing to each other about how we react to things. I'm starting to wonder if we're ever going to get past this," Greg said to him somberly.
"Greg, I…" Nick started but he was cut off.
"I accept your apology, okay. Let's just get this evidence back to the lab and try to figure out who this guy was who killed that old lady in her own home. She kind of reminded me of my Grandma Sanders," the younger man said quietly.
Nick didn't say anymore. This was something that needed to be talked about at home and not while working. Greg was right, they had to focus on their case.
By the time the shift was over, Greg was exhausted. He didn't think work would wear him out so much, but the tension also between him and Nick was not helping matters either. Even on the ride home they hardly spoke a word to each other.
When they walked through the front door, Greg threw his jacket in the front closet. "I'm going to take a shower and then go to bed. I am mega tired. Goodnight Nick," he said and walked off to his bathroom. Nick watched him walk away and wondered what happened between them that night. Things seemed to be going so well and suddenly Greg goes back to work and things between them get stressed.
Greg stood in front of the bathroom mirror naked, looking at his body riddled with scars, most of them done by the mini torch.
He heard the door slam and then heard the voice break the silence, Jasper's voice. "Greggy, time for some fun again." He saw him come down the stairs and flip on the dim light. Greg backed himself into the corner, like he always did at first before they completely broke him. He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.
Jasper came up to him and smiled maliciously at him. He went to grab his arm but Greg was on defensive and reacted faster by kicking his legs out at him, causing Jasper to trip and fall back on his ass. Jasper stood up quickly and glared down at him. "You little bitch. You're going to pay for that. Haven't you learned yet that when you misbehave you're going to pay for it? Stupid whore." He glared and then turned on his heels and went back up the stairs.
Greg feared what he was going to do to him this time. His ribs still ached and his face bruised from the beatings he had taken already. He saw Jasper come back down with a duffle bag. Jasper smiled at him as he pulled out the pair of handcuffs. He came over to him and suddenly slugged him in the face, causing Greg to fall to the side. Jasper took his victim's weakened state to his advantage and grabbed his wrists and pulled them behind his back and cuffed him. He dragged the duffle bag over to him and started digging in it.
Greg's head was still spinning when he felt Jasper flip him over onto his back, trapping his cuffed arms under him. Jasper held down Greg's legs by kneeling on top of them. Greg groaned in pain from Jasper's weight on his legs.
"Now I've got you where I want you. Now you're going to feel real pain while I have fun marking you are mine," his tormentor sneered. He pulled something out of the duffle bag and at first Greg could not see what it was, but then his eyes widened when he realized what it was. He started squirming underneath Jasper, trying to break free.
He saw him light it and the blue flame appear. "NO! No! Please! I'll behave, just don't," he pleaded with the crazy man.
Jasper shook his head. "Too late. I told you I would teach you a lesson. Now you will get a taste of what happens when you do not obey." He lowered the mini torch's flame to Greg's abdomen. Greg screamed out as the heat burned at his flesh.
Greg shuddered at the memory and gazed upon his scared torso before getting in the shower.
Nick had stormed into the master bedroom and thrown his jacket on the bed. He was sitting down on the edge of the bed and running his hand over his head. He was frustrated with their situation. Perhaps it was time for another joint session with Dr. Warren, but he was starting to think seeing her was a joke, seeing as she really did not say much the couple of times they had gone now. He remembered why he hated shrinks.
He laid back on his bed and heard the shower start running in the other bathroom, knowing Greg was taking his shower now. He wondered if he was finally taking cooler showers now. He knew he had been still taking the occasional scalding hot shower, he could always tell when he got out by how red his skin looked. He shook his head at the thought and yawned. He closed his eyes and drifted off.
He suddenly thought he heard moaning in the other room. He got up and walked into the living room and was shocked at the sight he saw. Greg was on his hands and knees, naked, sucking some guy's cock. The guy, whose moaning he heard, was wearing a black leather mask. The masked man looked up. "Come on, Stokes. Come fuck your little buddy here. You know you've been missing his sweet ass." Nick looked down at Greg, who was shaking his bare ass at him, in a tempting way. Nick felt himself get hard just watching him suck the other guy and shaking his ass at him. Nick walked up closer and suddenly saw the red burns and cuts all over Greg's body. He took a step back, coming to reality. "No, I can't."
He saw Greg withdraw his mouth from around the man's cock and look at him. "Why not? Everyone else has had me, why not you too? I'm just a sex slave, after all."
"No, you're not a slave. You don't have to do this, Greg," he said to him. Greg turned on his hands and knees and crawled over to him, seductively until he was right in front of him.
"I'll always be Jasper's slave, but I can please you too," he said with his big brown eyes looking up at him. He sat up on his knees and put his hands on Nick's crotch, feeling the hardness beneath the jean material. "Here let me help you with that." Greg slowly unzipped his pants and pushed them and his briefs down his legs, exposing his aching cock.
Nick watched Greg lick his lips and then take him into his mouth. He forgot how much he missed Greg's mouth on him. He groaned in pleasure as Greg worked his magic mouth on him. It had been so long since the younger man gave him a blow job, he got greedy. He suddenly put his hand on his head and pushed his head closer, so he was deep throating him. "Suck it harder, Bitch," he said to the younger man gruffly.
He heard whimpering from the man sucking him and didn't care. He held his head tight to his crotch. "That's it. Now you've made him your bitch too," he heard another man's voice say. He looked up briefly to see who was speaking and it was a man who looked like the guy in the mug shots of Jasper Marks. He suddenly realized what he was doing and pushed Greg's head back, making him fall back and stare up at him. The look on his face was pure terror as tears fell from his eyes.
"No!" Nick sat up in bed quickly, breathing heavily. He wiped his hand over his face. He was sweating. He was horrified by his dream and even more so that he had a hard on. He felt sick that the dream gave him one. He quickly ran into the bathroom and started running his shower. He let the water run cold and jerked off in the shower. He leaned his head against the tile wall, feeling miserable for what had just happened. This day was one big mess.
He got out of the shower and toweled off. He pulled on some pajama bottoms and walked down the hall to the bedroom Greg was in. He peeked in the room that had the drapes cracked open to let in some daylight. Greg was curled up on his side in the bed, sleeping. He still had to have some light in the room when he slept and Nick had yet to walk in on him and him not be sleeping on his side, curled up in a tight protective way. It made him feel even worse about the dream he had. It was getting harder be the boyfriend he needed to be to Greg.
He couldn't look at him anymore. It made him feel like filth, no better than the men who tormented him. "I'm a terrible boyfriend. You didn't do any wrong, Greg."
He went into the living room and turned on the TV. He couldn't go back into his bed at this time. He sat up and watched TV instead, eventually dozing off on the sofa.