A/N-Well once again thanks to all of my loyal readers for leaving such great reviews. I am truly touched that you all have enjoyed this story so much. There is only a couple of chapters left after this one. I might do a sequel depending on what you all think after I finish posting the last chapter. Anyways, here is another new chapter for you to read.

Nick looked over at Greg as they drove to Dr. Warren's office. He had been quiet since they woke up that morning. They had fun playing in the casino the day before. It really seemed to take Greg's mind off of everything that had happened but now that they were headed to speak with their shrink, he knew he had to be thinking about everything again.

"We don't have to go if you really don't want to," Nick finally said to him. Greg looked over at him with melancholy eyes. "No, I think this is a good thing. It's just never easy to bring it all up again but if I am to try to move on, I need to do what I can so we can try to go back to a normal life."

Nick gave him a sad smile. "Well, just remember I'm here with you through this." He reached his hand over to Greg. His partner looked at him, took his hand and squeezed it. "Thanks," the younger man said.

They arrived at the coral colored medical office building. Dr. Warren's office was on the second floor of the three floor building. Greg followed Nick into the building. It wasn't their first time seeing her but after all that happened in the last couple of days, it was going to be uncomfortable again.

They walked up to the receptionist and she smiled at them. "You two can go right in. She is waiting for you," the young blond woman told them. They thanked her and walked into Dr. Warren's office.

The petite doctor stood up as they entered her office. "I'm glad to see you two decided to come in so soon after what happened. Go ahead and take a seat. Do you want anything to drink?" She offered them right away.

Greg nodded. "Yes, some water would be fine." His throat had been slightly sore since that night and he knew talking would aggravate it. Nick declined anything to drink.

After she brought a bottle of water to Greg, she sat down in a chair, across from the couch that the two men sat on. "So how are you two holding up after what happened at your house?"

Nick looked at Greg, who didn't seem too eager to start up the conversation, so he decided to start off. "Well, considering, I think we are doing pretty well. I think Greg has made a breakthrough."

The brunette doctor looked at him. "Is that so? What kind of breakthrough are we talking about?" She asked Greg directly. She wanted him to talk.

Greg nervously looked over at Nick who just smiled at him encouragingly. "I think Nick is referring to me finally being able to let him hold me. I guess I finally realized that after all this, especially after this last experience and what he had to see, if he was still sticking with me, he really must love me."

"You didn't believe him before when he told you he loved you?" she asked him.

"I guess I knew he loved me but I was not sure he was strong enough to put up with me after everything. I've just always felt that he should be disgusted to touch me, hold me after what Jasper did to me," Greg confessed out loud.

"I've been telling you that you don't disgust me. I don't care what marks he put on you, it doesn't change how I feel about you," Nick declared as he looked at Greg.

"It's not just the marks; it's the acts, what he made me do. You saw it," he stressed as his eyes glistened with threatening tears.

Dr. Warren was feeling like there was something she was missing out on, something they had not told her. "What did he see, Greg?" She asked him cautiously. He suddenly turned to her, his eyes wide, realizing they hadn't told anyone about the oral sex Jasper forced him to have in front of Nick.

Nick quickly spoke to save Greg from doing it. "What we tell you is confidential, correct?" He asked her.

"Yes, of course it is. Is there something you left out in the police report?"

Nick nodded and glanced at Greg, who was trembling slightly. He took his hand in his. "It's okay. We can tell her Greg. She should know." He looked back at Dr. Warren. "Jasper was a sick fuck. Sorry, excuse my language but it's the truth. You know he forced Greg to strip in front of him, knowing I was there watching as he humiliated Greg at my expense. But he asked Greg to do worse."

Greg squeezed Nick's hand to get his attention. "I'll tell her," he said to him as he built up his courage. Greg looked at their doctor and took a shaky deep breath before speaking. "Jasper threatened to kill Nick if I didn't perform oral sex on him right there. He wanted to humiliate me further and purposely in front of Nick. He knew I couldn't ever let him hurt Nick. He knew my weakness. I gave in and got to my knees once again in front of him and pleasured him as Nick watched." Tears fell from his eyes as he remembered the moment and the pain and repulsion he felt about himself for performing the act in front of his love.

Dr. Melissa Warren was speechless for a moment. She had not realized they had covered up such an act. "Nick, was it your idea to not tell your fellow co-workers and Captain Brass about this?"

Nick looked away from Greg, who he had been focusing on during the tough reveal. His eyes also showed unshed tears. "Yes, I couldn't bear for him to have to go through telling everyone about that, having to relive further humiliation that, that swine, put him through. I had to protect him in some way since I couldn't prevent him from encountering Jasper again."

"Well it is good that you are telling someone else about this at least. So Greg, you thought after Nick had to witness that that he would no longer want to touch you, that he would find you somehow unworthy? Isn't that how you have been feeling all along?" she asked him.

"Yes, I guess but I just thought that this would be the end all, you know what I mean? I just thought he would only picture me that image and wouldn't want me around him at all. But then I realized he was still there for me. I broke down on the balcony in our hotel suite and he came out and held his hand out to me. There was something about that simple gesture that told me he wouldn't leave me that he would remain at my side. And then I was just so upset that I had killed another man and I hadn't even really realized I was leaning my head against his chest, crying and that his arms were around me. When I realized he was holding me and not pushing me away, I came to realize I was the one who was always doing the pushing away. He's wanted nothing but to hold me but I've been denying him due to my self-hatred. When I felt him really holding me something changed, for the good. I knew for sure he would always love me," Greg explained.

Nick was saddened when Greg said he hated himself. He should have known it and he wondered if he still did hate himself. "Do you still hate yourself?"

Greg looked at him, his eyes showing the pain he still held within his soul. "Some," he replied softly.

Nick felt the wetness on his cheeks. "Don't…I love you."

Greg nodded solemnly. "I know but unfortunately love is not a cure all."

"He's right you know," Dr. Warren spoke up. They both looked at her. "It's true. Some people are incredibly loved but yet that doesn't always cure the pain one feels inside. Sometimes it takes more. Luckily for you both, you are here and getting help. Many don't seek any help and many cannot take the pain anymore and end it all. I know I've asked you this before, Greg, but I feel I need to ask again. Do you think it would be easier to be dead right now?"

Greg looked down which scared Nick. Greg was sorting his thoughts to say what he wanted to properly. "I don't want to die now. Back in that basement or whatever the hell it was, I did. But now I know I can get through this. I know it sucks and it is really tough but because I do have Nick and my work friends' encouragement and love, I can work through this. You're helping a lot too," he said with a small smile as he looked up through his lashes at her.

She smiled back. "I'm glad to hear that. Now Nick, we've got Greg to open up a lot here today, which is fantastic but I am curious about you. You have to have some mixed feelings going on after being tied up by Jasper and being forced to watch Greg with him. How has that affected you?"

Nick swallowed hard. He was so focused on Greg and his wellbeing he never thought the conversation would turn to him. He looked at Greg, who was gazing at him with a cautious curiosity. "I guess to some extent I was also humiliated by Jasper being able to overpower me and take me as a hostage. I was furious mostly at first when he was taunting me about what he did to Greg. He told me I was a failure as a boyfriend since I could not save Greg. He also laughed at me because… he figured out Greg had not let me hold him since he had been back. He taunted me saying he had taught Greg well enough to only be with him." He noticed Greg lower his head. "I knew it was not true, Greg. I knew it was just a matter of time before you would come to me again. It's not your fault," he told him. He knew what he was thinking.

The younger man shook his head though as tears fell freely once again from his eyes. "No, it is. I was doing everything he wanted me to do, even when I wasn't in his clutches. I just never realized it."

Nick scooted closer to Greg and took his hands in his. Greg looked up at him with puffy eyes. "He was a monster. He tortured you and sexually assaulted you for months. We already know it had to have some psychological effects on you but don't blame yourself for anything he did. You're still giving him power by saying that."

"Greg, he's right. You can't let him, even in death, hold that power over you," his doctor told him.

He wiped at his eyes. "It's hard, you know. Sometimes it's just so damn hard not to. I have the memories and all that crap that just make it hard to move on and not somehow blame myself. He was my boyfriend at one time. I let him control me back then because I liked it until he asked me to do things that I wouldn't do and then he became abusive. It became difficult over those months he held me to not blame myself because he kept reminding me of those old days. He kept reminding me that I came to him originally and that it was my fate to be his. Deep down I know I am not responsible but I can't help those feelings from surfacing at times. It's still going to take me awhile," he told them truthfully. His throat was dry. He grabbed the water and took a swig.

"We don't expect you to be 100% back to normal but we just want to know that you are heading in the right direction and not hiding things from us about how you are really feeling," Nick said to him this time.

"He's correct, Greg. I think we've covered a lot of ground in this session. Is there anything else you wanted to bring up this session?" The female shrink asked them.

Greg looked nervously at Nick before speaking. "Jasper told Nick that there was a fourth man involved in tormenting me. The man I thought was Chris in the black leather mask, all dressed in full black that came down a few times, he was not Chris."

Nick filled in the details. "Jasper told me that his friend in the black mask was the only one who was smart enough to never reveal himself and keep his mouth shut. He is still out there and we don't know who he is."

Dr. Warren sighed and looked at Greg. She felt so bad for him. It was going to be harder to move on knowing someone was still out there who had violated him. "Do you remember anything much about this man, Greg?"

He shook his head woefully. "Not really. For some reason, whenever he was in the room, Jasper felt the need to force me to drink liquor. I wonder now if the liquor was spiked with something because my memories of those times are very vague to none. I remember him hardly speaking. I know why I thought he was Chris because his eyes, which were pretty much only what I really saw of him, were similar to Chris's. He wore a condom also which Chris did on occasion, which I found odd about him. I don't know. I just wish it had been Chris. Now I'll always be wondering if I see anyone in a mask like that, if it is him. Or even if someone is looking at me weird, I will be thinking, is he the one?"

"It's not going to be easy, far from it. But remember your support system will be there for you every moment. I am happy to know you are finally letting Nick comfort you physically again. That is a huge step in your moving on. I think we've said a lot today and I think it is all good that has come out. It can only help you heal more. I'll see you two after the Christmas holiday. I want to keep seeing you both at least once a week. I think these joint sessions are the best for the both of you. Greg, I want you to keep up with taking the Xanax. Nick mentioned the panic attack you had yesterday when he called. You will get some in extreme stress but at least it is helping control them overall. Do you two have any questions for me?"

"I want to thank you for taking us today at short notice. You've helped us immensely," Nick said to her.

Greg nodded now that he had collected himself. "Yes, Nick is right. At first I hated the thought of talking to a stranger about all this but you have made it comfortable for me and have been understanding. Thank you. I hope you have a Merry Christmas," he said with a smile that was genuine.

"You too, both of you. See you in about a week."

As they left the office, Nick felt so proud of Greg for being able to open up so much today. He really was making progress. He was so scared that after the incident with Jasper, he would withdraw into himself even more, but just the opposite happened.

"You are so amazing," he said to him. Greg turned his head and gave him an odd look.

"What?"

"You! You are amazing. After what you went through less than 48 hours ago, today you were amazing. You opened up so much. I'm so proud of you," Nick smiled at him.

Greg blushed a bit, not feeling so deserving of the praise. "I just have been holding in so much, I realized it did feel better to let some of it out. You're the one who is amazing for putting up with me through all this shit. I wouldn't still be here if it was not for you. I would not have made it out of that place if it was not for you. I owe you for my life. I promise to make up for it in time." He offered one of his crooked smiles. It made Nick's heart warm.

"You don't owe me anything but let's not start an argument because I know we will," he chuckled. "What do you want to do now? Go back to the Hotel?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind, I'm still kind of tired. I could use some more sleep."

"Sure, babe, anything you want. I could use some sleep too. Let's take advantage of that big ole suite we got. Then maybe after some sleep we can hit the casino again. We were on a winning streak last night," Nick said to him.

Greg thought about the night before. He had only played $50 on the slot machines and ended up taking back with him $350. Nick didn't do as well but still made money instead of lost. "Okay, sounds like a plan," he said with a smile.