Chapter 6
hey guys this really should have been on chapter 5. enjoy
MY breathing starts to get back to normal, well i believe so. What the hell just happens. I Was just standing there enjoying the sweet pleasure of our closeness then i, like a dumb ass freak out when he touches me. NOT Only that, my graceful self get caught up in his clothing and i fall down, but wait it only gets better. QHuinn reaches out to help, but of course he falls on top of me. THE feeling of his rock hard body touching mine, is almost enough to make cum in my pants. Did i just say cum in my pants, oh that would be a mess, i really like these jeans. Then i look up, and i see his stare yet again. GO two months without even a "GO fuck yourself" and now look at us. GOD he feels so amazing, those strong thighs in between mine, his scent is attacking my senses and i start to hyperventilate while he touches my side as he looks like he is about to kiss me. 'GO for it' i chant in my head. Knowing it is wrong, i cant help it.
Than i see the light leave his eyes, i suppose his senses are back. HE stops stroking me, and i want to cry in protest, than i feel his fingers scrape my scalp. Heaven, are my only thoughts, as i close my eyes. "I Am sorry BLAylock" and his weight is off of me. I Feel empty and heartbroken all over again. WHY must i keep doing this to myself. IT takes me a moment of self loathing before i realize his hand is extended. ONCE again i will say how pathetic i am, i take the offered hand, because i know that i will take ANY Contact he will allow me to have. Once i am back upright i look at him, with my wounded heart, "NO Qhuinn it is I, who is sorry." Walking past him, I cant even bring myself to look into those eyes again. I do not even want to speak for fear my voice will betray me.
"Please don't go," he mumbled in the lowest voice, bringing me to a stop. "I don't know what just happen, but i am sorry. I finally get you to look at me for more than second and i fuck it up." Still staring at the door taking deep breaths to center myself.
"You did nothing wrong, it was an accident, i understand." Still not turning around, i just can not at the moment. "Not really."he whispers i don't even know if he knew he said this out loud. Still gazing at the doorknob not really wanting to leave i get my courage up and turn around. "Your room is a hazard to my health QHuinn, i almost broke my ankle just on dirty clothes." I Playfully sniff myself. "Great now i am going to smell like you."
"Would that be so bad, Blay?" he stalks to wards me like a predator, and i am the prey. But this isn't the wild an i am not just food. Putting my hands up trying to diffuse the tension in the room.
"Yes," saying sharply, and i see the fall in his chin as his chest deflates just a bit. Goodness BLaylock make this better don't hurt him. YOU cant function if he feels pain. "when i smell like your sweaty ass" i chuckle. IT works because he starts to laugh too., and yet doesn't work on me because i am perverse
Looking around at my mess of a room to break the tension with Blay, i can not look at his eyes. I Felt so wounded when he tried to just leave, cuz i am such a woman now. Then when i was bold like my simpleton brain told me to take what is MINE, yes MINE ran through my brain. Anyways he said he wouldn't want to smell like me, part of me doesn't care and i just want to mark him. MY fangs almost exposed themselves. Blay makes the world, well my world go round, because he always know just what to say to make me feel better. Sniffing the room, and ignoring his spicy scent, i curl up my face. "Yeah sweaty booty isn't a good scent." YET the thought is arousing, OK i am fucked!
"Well not for a room of clothes, no it isn't," BLay smiled at me. "Here lets clean this room up." HE orders, than starts grabbing handfuls of my clothes and throwing them down the laundry chute i forget i have near my closet. NOT being able to help myself, i watch him bend over, and strut around in my room. HE looks completely at home, right and engrossed in the task at hand. Before i know what i am doing, i am just watching him clean with my mouth open. he disappears in my bathroom and reappears with a trash bag gathering my dead soldiers.
"Jeez how in the fade can you drink this much in a month?" he innocently asked. IF He only know that is just left over for the last few days. MY world without him is empty, and i know i did this to us, to him. I am just not good enough, i have more issue than SPIN, but than again HE knows about them all. YET still he is here with me now, gathering up the last of the bottles and now heading for the crumbled notes i wrote to THOSE NOTES! My body springs into action tackling him before his perfect hand grazes my sloppy hand written note begging him to forgive me for being an ass.
"WHAT THE FUCK" he yells as i roll on top of him. this time he looks pissed and not scared, have i ever mention how sexy he looks when he is angry! Smiling at him, i get up and help him up again.
"Sorry, pumpkin that is my biz." I answered him, grabbing all the notes and throwing them in my empty trash can.
"OKay that is fine, you just don't have to try and beat me up for helping you clean. you Neanderthal!" Blay chuckled. "WELL this room is habitable now." HE looked around the room, then looked back at me. "Qhuinn, I AM never this frank with you..."
My heart rate accelerates listening to him, this cant be good. I liked it better when we was ignoring the happening between us. "Can we go back to being friends?" My heart stops and drops. "ITS just I miss you too, and i know things have been crazy, and messed up with you and me since you have known about my feelings." HE Started to blush again, and i really can not believe the boldness of him bringing this up.
"Correction Blay more like since i outed you, i always knew." my dumb ass says without thinking because this time HIS face fell. "I AM Sorry BLAY i was just trying to lighten the mood, and since when did you get so bold. ME personally i am a puss and would have loved to keep tip toeing around the subject." Naturally that was the wrong thing to say, he is pissed again and not the sexy kind, the shit he might fuck me kind. then again that wouldn't be too bad.
TIP-TOEING AROUND THE SUBJECT! OF Course he would that what got him into this fuckin situation in the first place, and when did i get so bold, unlike him i am not a puss! Calm yourself BLAylock. "Qhuinn, actually i am sorry this isn't a good time." I glance at my watch seeing the late (or early hour). "I Should take off Saxton is prolly back, and he will be wondering where i am."
Looking up at him i see his fangs and i hear a growl, and for the first time in a long time i am scared of him physically, maybe i am a puss. I take a step back, as i inhale and his bonding scent is everywhere, having just a moment to brace myself when he pounces on me penning me to the floor with his thighs as he straddles my hips and takes my hand putting them above my head holding them in place with one of his. NOT sure what just happen i am paralyzed, i am scared, i am aroused, i am confused, and in the morning this is going to hurt.
Not knowing what happen i come back to myself, when i smell Blays fear hit my nose. Still one of the sweetest smells only because it belongs to him, i also smell is arousal and as much as i want to continue, i cant. Feel his body being trapped by mine, speaking of that word it keeps playing on repeat in my head. BUT i know that he isn't mine. he moved on, he wants to be friends and i am just scaring him, always hurting him. One last look at him, i hop off him and run into my bathroom slamming the door shut, turning the shower on and stepping in fully clothed. Maybe one day i will stop hurting him, and hurting myself. Maybe, but that day obviously isnt today.