Chapter 8
Hey guys sorry this is taking so long. I would just like to welcome the new readers, one of them being my best friends in the entire world! I LOVE YOU MY ALICE! Also thank you to everyone who reviews, like my good friend Lady Babette says, you guys keep me going. Lady Babette thanks for being muse, even if you didn't know it.
Chapter 8
"STUPID BLAYLOCK!" screaming as i enter my room slamming my door, the tears bursting out of my eyes and down my face like a bloody female. The plus to this being...well i made it to my room before it happen. What a day, i am exhausted, and for once wished i was one of those vampires i read in human novels that die when the sunrises. glancing around the room, i see my bed is made and Saxton isn't here. Another plus, i couldn't imagine hurting him at this hour.
"i am such an idiot, why did i do this to myself." I fling myself face down onto my lonely bed, inhaling mine and Sax scents. -sighs-. Allowing myself just a moment or four of self loathing. I repeat "what a day. Dearest Scribe Virgin what have i done to deserve this" Gathering my pillow then flipping over to relax and relive tonights events. Lets see how did tonight start out, oh yes i remember now. My boyfriend jacking me off,mmm i remember his touch, he is half my size but he is so aggressive, and knows how to dominate me, taking charge and then...oh yeah then reminding me that i have a tendency to call him Qhuinns name. So naturally i go limp in his hand, then when after i feel like even less of a man I cry. So lemme see what else, oh yes my stroll, I'm walking thru the manse trying to get my mind together, and the king wants a word with me. Pfft some fuckin words. Basically told me if I, Blaylock son of Rocke, does not get Mr. Bipolar under control he is ordering a seclushion, and an isolashion for me and asshole. I never even heard of the latter. Saying he was going to ship me and Q OFF to a house, not let us out til we worked the whats going on between us. Threaten to send us to Kentucky of all places, what the hell is there? chuckling to myself, i suppose that would be the point. No distractions, we would either kiss and make up or kill each other, and how i am feeling now...i think i like the killing.
I roll over to my side and make eye contact with the people in the pictures that i have in frames. Standing up i walk over and look at the memories frozen in time. The largest is the family portrait i have of me, mom and dad right after my transition. my rounded mother, she never cared that our kind pride themselves on being thin, she is the most beautiful perfect women i have ever seen, with her gorgeous smile and kind eyes. "I miss you momma," I whisper to the picture as i stroke her hair. "i am so screwed up right now." Looking at my father, his strong features, he being a warrior, not a Brother, but who cares he will always be my hero."I Miss you too papa." I Sit the picture down, a bittersweet feeling rushing over me. I may not have my love, but have the love of a Male OF WORTH, support of The Brothers, and the love a family that will always love me no matter what. So this crying all the time, and following Q around, wishing and hoping a praying has to stop.
'Oh come on come on, you've been messing with my head For oh so long now,' i hear tinted windows blaring from my pocket, my text MSG ring tone going off, pulling my phone out i see its from sax.
"MISS You my Warrior, i went home, see you this evening."
Smiling again, i send him back a 'ditto and look forward to seeing you tonight.' sitting my phone down i look at my ipod docking station and push the power button, needing to get lost in the music, i open the play-list sections, and scroll down. 'yes this is perfect. "GUILTY PLEASURE mix!" I SQUEAL This time feeling giddy all of a sudden. Realizing how blessed you are, will have that affect on you. everyone has their feel good songs, i just so happen to have a bunch. PUTTING IT ON Random i walk to get my items ready thinking i am in need a shower, to wash away the day. stopping when i hear the drumbeats that start a song i remember singing to my mirror when i was kid.
"Oh, Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine you blow my mind Hey, Mickey Hey, Mickey,' I CATCH MYSELF chanting along with the lyrics. Looking around, i demat to the bathroom, grabbing my lint roller to use as a mic. i keep on with the chant closing my eyes and loosing myself to the feel good beat, familiar lyrics, letting it take me away. Swaying my hips, and singing to my mickey.
"Oh, qhuinny,' singing my remix just like i did all those years ago. 'what a pity,You don't understand,You take me by the heart, When you take me by the hand" I pour all of myself into this silly song. 'Oh, qhuinny, you're so pretty,Can't you understand, It's guys like you, Qhuiny,Oh, what you do, qhuinny, do, Qhuinny,Don't break my heart, Qhuinny.'
-BANG- i stop my dancing the smile leaving my face as i breathe in who is on the other side of the my door.
Just leave i kept telling myself, i lean my head on his door listening to him singing, hearing the smile i know he has on his face. I bet this one reaches those eyes of his. It is taking all of my strength to not bust this damn door down, and marking him as mine. The urge was almost unbearable after i heard him say qhuinny, a stupid nickname he secretly gave me, thinking i didn't know about it.
Smiling crookedly i think about the last time i heard him call me that. it was one of the last nights i stayed over his house before all hell broke loose. He thought i was asleep, but i could feel him staring at me. we had spent the night shopping, playing video games, and drinking. i passed out early on him in a wifebeater and basketball shorts i changed into after i spilled food all over me. laughing softly i had my own drawer. Remembering the smell of his arousal, it shocked me and made my cock rock hard. at the time i was still doing the denial twist. but i wanted him happy so, I pretend to be asleep, scratching my nipple ring lifting my shirt, making myself bare to him. i smelled his arousal even more, and blood poured into his cheeks. i could smell and hear it all. he touch himself quietly staring at me. Gah i am a fuckin idiot! Why didn't i see that i loved him earlier. i was fuckin rock hard, precumming all over myself as he whacked himself off to me, just a few feet away. i should have just open my eyes, and offered him my hand or fuck even my unworthy mouth. Dearest Scribe Virgin i want to taste him, but no i am stupid Qhuinn! I BANGED my head against his door, this time it being loud enough for him to hear. his singing top, and i smell his fear again. well shit!
Knocking this time he takes a moment to answer. 'You may enter Qhuinn." I open the door and look at him.
"I will only stay a moment," i assured him, trying to meet his gaze.
"Doesn't matter, stay or go." he crosses his arms over his chest and i see the pain clearly on his face. I want to reach out to him and say all of the right things. The problem is, i simply don't have these magic words and 'I'm sorry i ruin everything' just seemed to inadequate.
"I'm sorry I ruined everything," DAMN IT I SAID IT ANYWAYS! Slapping my forehead with my hand i want to cry, i want say sorry again, but I just ended up laughing.
"Well i am so fuckin happy i amuse you!" i hear his anger his words are like venom and it knocks some sense into me. He must think i am making fun of him. My senses take over and i grab him touching his face, tracing the line of freckles on his cheeks.
"I am just an idiot, i am sorry. I started laughing because.' Still looking into his eyes, i loose my train of though and start to dip my head to try and capture his lips.
"NO!" he said then pushed with all of his might out of his open door. Stun wouldn't even describe how i felt, hurt, rejected and like an ass. I didn't have much time to think about this, because in a split second i went from staring in his eyes to looking at the ceiling. He pushed me with so much force it sent my ass over the railing, and i was falling to the ground floor.