Chapter Eleven:
Currently, Finn the human, Jake the magical dog, Lady Rainicorn the unicorn, and Ice King the big ol' nerd were climbing up into the third level of the building, on a mission to save the next captive. "I'm thinking if I'm going to help you three with this rescue business, we should assign ourselves codenames," Ice King suggested.
"No Ice King, no codenames," Finn replied.
"Ah come on dude, I think that's actually an awesome idea," Jake disagreed. "We should pick out some real cool names. Ooh I know! I'll be Stretch, because that's pretty much my talent, stretching out my body. Yeah, I'll be Stretch from now on."
Finn laughed. "Alright dude, you can be Stretch. Lady Rainicorn, what should you be?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe you can think of something," Lady Rainicorn giggled. "I want it to be pretty though."
"How about Rainbow?" Finn suggested.
"No man, it has to be somewhat intimidating. Who gets intimidated by rainbows?" Jake asked. "I know Lady, you'll be known as the vicious RAINBOW DEMON!"
"Rainbow Demon?" she asked uneasily, "I'm not sure Jakey, that sounds a little-"
"Okay, the beautiful and vicious RAINBOW DEMON!"
"Alright. That sounds good," Lady Rainicorn allowed.
"I'll be Finn Bomb," Finn said, "Cause I bring the house down." Jake laughed.
"Ooh! Me! Do me! What should my name be? Lady Killer? Ice Man? OOH how about Lady Killer Ice Man? I like that!" Ice King exclaimed.
Finn and Jake exchanged looks. "You'll be Big N," Jake told him.
"Big N?" Ice King raised a brow. "What's the N stand for?"
The two heroes silently chuckled to themselves. The 'N' stood for nerd. "It doesn't matter, it sounds cool, right Jake?" Finn asked.
"Oh yeah, Big N totally suits you Ice King," Jake snickered.
Ice King stroked his beard. "Big N. I actually like that."
"You should," Finn chuckled. It was then the four actually realized where they were. The third floor looked as if it was a forest, with fresh green grass growing, a couple daisies here and there, tall towering Pine Trees and the ceiling painted like a blue cloudy sky. "Wow, this looks like the forest from back home," Finn commented.
"I wonder what the catch is," Jake thought aloud. "Ice King, you're a moderately decent villain, if you captured someone in a forest, what would you do?"
"You're asking me my opinion?" Ice King asked, bewildered by this. He rubbed his beard. "I suppose I would find a licensed wild animal to marry my bride and I. Perhaps a fox, or even a raccoon to recite our matrimony."
"For someone who's so obsessed with marriage, don't you think you should play the field more?" Lady Rainicorn asked.
"Oh, so you want me to play the field on your account, eh?" Ice King asked.
"NO!" she cried.
"FINN! HE'S HITTING ON MY GIRL AGAIN!" Jake hollered.
"Ice King, for the last time-"
"BIG N! MY NAME IS BIG N!"
"Fine! Big N! Lady Rainicorn is off the market! She has hooked up with Jake!"
"What about Rainbow Demon?" the Ice King asked. "And who's Jake?"
"I'm Jake!" the magical dog growled.
"No, you're Stretch."
Finn smacked his hand to his forehead. If Marceline was here, she'd probably smack Ice King and knock him out, which in turn would be easier on all of them. Before Finn started thinking more about his vampire friend, a deep rumbling growl erupted through the forest!
Trees began to shake, and the ground began to grumble vehemently! "What the cabbage is going on?" Finn cried.
"NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME! I LUMPIN' MEAN IT!" screamed a far away voice.
Finn and Jake exchanged looks. They only knew one princess that used 'lumpin' as a verb, adjective, noun, and sometimes a conversation starter. Lumpy Space Princess. "Man, why did Magic Man have to capture her?" Jake whined. "That's just not fair."
"LUMPIN' HELP ME!"
"Ooh a princess is calling for us! Let us save this damsel in distress!" Ice King exclaimed, sounding delighted. He started running up ahead. Lady Rainicorn, Finn and Jake sighed, and ran after the all too happy Ice King.
After running through bushes, maneuvering around a few trees, and leaping over a mud puddle, the four finally reached the sounds of the distressed princess. Tied up in a cage (that Finn noted was made of sticks) was LSP, and a giant Wilderness Ogre stood between her and the four. (A/N I made a Wilderness Ogre up, but kind of picture Mannish Man the Minotaur from the Enchiridion episode as a basis for his looks)
"Jellies dude, it's the Wilderness Ogre," Jake sighed.
The ogre was tall and hairy, towering over them with oversized possibly fake muscles, wearing nothing more than khaki shorts and a tiny cowboy hat his mother bought him for Christmas. "Who dares intrude?" he demanded forcefully.
"Yeah, look I don't have time for this, I just came for the princess," Finn said quickly. He needed to save Marceline NOW.
"What? You wish to duel me for this young princess's heart?" the Wilderness Ogre asked.
"NO! I'm not after her love!" Finn cried. "No offense Lumpy Space Princess."
"None taken Finn, you're so not my type. We probably would've lasted a few weeks, four tops, but then my parents would've found out about our relationship at that point, and force me to break up with you because you're a smoothie," LSP replied.
Finn's face contorted into a sheer face of disgust, just for a moment before getting his game face back on.
"You're not taking my captive," the Wilderness Ogre said, "So you and your… friends can turn around and leave."
"I THINK NOT!" the Ice King bellowed. "There has to be something we can do! You don't understand the meaning of loneliness! You are insolent!"
The ogre thought for a moment. "Tell you freaks what," he began to say, "If you four can do something that interests me, I'll let you take my princess captive. Boss said that I was supposed to fight you guys off, but I'll see what you guys can do first." Finn guessed that 'boss' was Magic Man.
"I can turn any object any color of the rainbow," Lady Rainicorn said, turning a gray rock blue for a demonstration.
"I can stretch my body in any shape or size," Jake said, stretching out his arms and making wild loops.
"I can turn anything to ice or make it snow," the Ice King said, shooting an icicle from his blue hand, the icicle shattering on a Pine Tree.
Cabbage! Finn thought. "Uh, I can solve math problems." He picked up a stray leaf off the ground, and ripped it in half. "One plus one is two!" he exclaimed, showing the Wilderness Ogre the two leave halves.
The Wilderness Ogre thought this over for a moment, appearing to be deep in thought. "Hmm. Is there anything you four can do as a group?"
"You mean together?" Lady Rainicorn asked. "I can show you three how to knit scarves!"
"NO!" the three unappreciative scarf under estimators yelled.
Lady Rainicorn crossed her arms. "Men."
"Wait I got it! WE CAN BREAK DANCE!" Jake cried enthusiastically.
"What? Jake I can't break dance!" Finn exclaimed.
"No, but you can beat box and give us rhythm. Big N and Rainbow Demon will do the rest," Jake told him. "Come on, I heard the song you beat boxed with Marceline about her dad and the French fries. I was in your pocket, remember? You can do this!"
Memories of that crazy night with Marceline's father went through Finn's mind. This is all for Marceline, he told himself. "Alright, let's do this," Finn said dramatically, taking black baseball caps with spray painted writing out of his backpack and putting them on Jake and the Ice King's head, so it was backwards. "Let's do this."
(A/N I'm about to attempt my first break dance scene. I hope I don't fail XD)
"Boo kee boo ba boo boo kee," Finn beat boxed.
"STRETCH AND BIG N Y'ALL!" Jake announced. Jake immediately stretched his limbs, twisting them all about in wild directions, the Ice King twirling around as well. The Ice King then ran towards Jake and kicked off his back, back flipping through the air and landing next to Lady Rainicorn. She then began to do the wave with her body, each time looping bigger.
Jake stretched down to his normal size and started to do a handstand, twisting his legs through his arms and flipping up into the air! The Ice King cart wheeled into a handstand and caught Jake with his feet, Rainicorn flying between the two!
"Boo kee boo ba boo boo kee!" Finn beat boxed faster!
"We need to do the pop and locks!" Jake exclaimed. Ice King nodded, and waved his arms to the beat box rhythm. Lady Rainicorn starting spinning around fast, randomly turning things different colors, and it resembled to look like a laser light show!
"Get ready for the big finish!" Ice King shouted. Lady Rainicorn then front flipped into Jake's arms, Ice King back flipped into her arms, and Jake threw the two in the air! Before they landed, Finn did a tumble next to Jake, and all of four of them landed on the grass in a rapper pose!
"RESPECT!" Finn said, in a deep and gruff rapper voice.
"Hooray!" the Wilderness Ogre cheered. "That was the best break dance I've seen!"
"So can we have LSP?" Finn asked, panting from all the beat boxing awesomeness he just performed.
"Nope."
"Why?" Lady Rainicorn demanded, "We did a great routine!"
"I thought the Ice King's cartwheels were a little lopsided," LSP commented.
"SILENCE!" The Ice King yelled angrily. Though that didn't change the fact they were lopsided.
"What was it missing?" Jake demanded.
"Cake frosting," the Wilderness Ogre answered simply. He shrugged. "I like cake."
Finn and Jake exchanged looks. "We haven't beat up anything for awhile," Finn pointed out.
"Way ahead of you," Jake grinned. The two adventurers ran towards the ogre, Jake enlarging himself to match his size. Finn leaped up and punched the ogre square in the jaw, and Jake kicked him in an area you really shouldn't kick ogres, or any man really. Wilderness Ogre fell over, his eyes wide with shock, that the two just attacked him. "That's what happens when you insult my mad break dance skills," Jake growled.
Finn kicked LSP's cage of sticks, and the princess leaped on his back for a ride. "Come on! Let's find the fourth level!" Finn cried.
"Hey! No fair!" Wilderness Ogre cried. He tried to run after the five, but they had already escaped up into the fourth level stairs. They were out of his realm, and he wasn't allowed to chase them past that. The ogre sighed. "Magic Man won't be pleased."
Author's Note:
Merry Christmas! I know it's late, but still, Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year! Please review and thank you for reading.
Oh, and just be patient for Marceline. ;D There will be Marceline (get it, instead of there will be blood? XD) And I hope you guys liked my break dance scene. I wish I could break dance, especially if Jake and Finn were my partners 8D Please review.