Chapter Seven: I Do Not Want to Be Afraid

After that terrible meeting, my heart was completely and absolutely terrified. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't listen to my heart; it won't even cooperate with the rest of my body. My mind was screaming all these jumbled things at me. None of it made sense. None of it was fair. None of this actually exists, this is all a dream.

I have to keep telling myself that, but the steady breathing of the vampire next to me keeps pulling me back to reality. This is actually happening to me.

"What are we going to do?" I asked Greyson tentatively, unsure of how he was taking this.

He was silent for a moment. I noticed that his grip on the steering wheel tightened and his knuckles turned white. I was scared that he was going to rip it right out, but it held steady.

"I don't know, Marcy. Why are you asking me this?" He said finally.

I was lost for words. "I don't… I don't know… I thought maybe you could explain what's going on to me…"

"I know as much as you do," he snapped.

I cowered lower into the leather seats and remained silent. I don't deserve to be treated like this. As if I wanted to 'mate' with Logan. And why did they have to use the word mate? It's so serious and disturbing. It's not like I'm going to produce offspring with him.

"I'm sorry," Greyson quietly whispered. I looked at him apprehensively but didn't say anything. He was staring intently at the road before us.

We screeched to a stop and in a flash, Greyson had me out of the door and in his arms. He carried me away from the car and into the forest with inhuman speed.

Once we got back to the Elites' building, Greyson set me down and I immediately ran upstairs, stripped off my clothing and crept into bed with only my underclothes on. I closed my eyes and the events of the past few days flooded my mind. I was so confused. I didn't know how to control myself; I wanted everything but I also wanted nothing. I wanted Greyson to love me; I wanted to help their cause. But I don't want to be a part of this vampire world anymore. I just want my life to go back to normal. Likely that's ever going to happen.

I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to take over me. But I knew that dreams didn't await me; nightmares were going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Do you really love me, or are you just lying?" Greyson asked me. We were sitting in a green meadow. The warm breeze was gently caressing the back of my neck as Greyson absentmindedly played with my hair.

"Greyson, why would you ask me something like that?" I asked with a laugh in my voice. The feeling of his gentle hands in my hair made me grow more and more content by the second.

"I don't know. I just had this feeling that you're hiding something from me," Greyson said as his hands stopped braiding a random piece of my hair. I turned around to look into his eyes.

"Silly boy," I smiled. "I love you with all my heart."

He frowned back and stood up. "Liar," he accused.

The smile faded from my face. "Don't be stubborn, Greyson. I really really do love you." I reached my hand out to him but he turned away.

"Then why did you take it back?" He asked me. His voice was distant.

I looked at him with furrowed brows. "You aren't making any sense. What did I take back?"

He laughed. "You took your love back."

I couldn't speak. My throat was suddenly closed. He smiled sadly, shook his head and disappeared into the forest. I tried to scream after Greyson but I couldn't find my voice. I clawed at the air, desperate for something I could touch, I could feel, but I was falling.

And then I landed in my old house. My dad was sitting in his usually reading chair, glasses perched on his nose. He looked up from his newspaper at me, a smile in his eyes. He was all human.

"You have finally decided to visit, Marcy? I have missed you quite a lot," my dad said.

I sighed, exhaling out all of my tension. "You have no idea what I've been through, dad," I replied.

He said nothing. He simply folded up his paper neatly, set it on the table, took off his glasses and then stared at me.

"Dad? Are you listening?"

He nodded and walked over to where I was standing, placing a hand on top of my head. "I know what you've been through."

I wrinkled my eyebrows in confusion.

"You're going to be a vampire soon; they're changing you so you can protect something."

"Uh…"

"There's no need to lie, Marcy. I know it all. I know about the Elixir. I know about Greyson. I know about it all." His eyes were glossy and unfocused.

I smacked the side of his arm. "You okay, dad?"

He nodded. "Did you know that Elixir is more powerful than you thought it was?"

That caught my attention. "What do you mean?"

"You see," my dad said, going into one of his educational phases. "Elixir will be able to bring humans back from the dead. Then they will be vampires."

"How do you know this dad?"

"I'm not done yet," he snapped. "Once the dead are vampires, they won't have the heightened senses like normal vampires would. Their senses will only be a little better than humans. It is because the blood that runs through their bodies isn't fresh. It's not pure…"

"You okay?" I asked hesitantly

"Fine, fine. Just fine," my dad said. "Let's go for a walk."

Suddenly, we were outside. The houses were flying by us quickly, but I could recognize each one. I saw the house of my dead grandparents, my friends that I didn't talk to anymore, and the rest of my relatives that were either dead or had cut themselves off from out family. Yet inside the houses, there was laughter, talking, voices and lights. Smoke was coming out of the chimneys.

"Why are you showing these houses to me? Everyone is dead." I said.

"No they're not, Marcy. Look, the houses are being used," was all my dad said.

I groaned in frustration. "I can see that, but how are these people alive…?"

"Because, silly girl, they are the ones you need to protect. They are the ones you love, so you must protect them."

"How can I protect them if they're not alive?"

My dad shrugged. He then took my hand and suddenly, we were back home.

He sighed and looked out the window. The sun was completely covered up. Not a spot of sunshine sneaked out. The clouds were dark, big and grey. I narrowed my eyes, sensing something.

"You know, Marcy, I think it's time to leave," my dad said, returning to his reading chair, putting his glasses back on and picking his newspaper up.

I frowned. "Why? I thought you missed me…"

"I did," he said without looking up from his paper. "But I noticed, everywhere you go, darkness follows. You are not welcome in this house anymore."

And with that, I was sent stumbling out the door and into the darkness where the storm was just about to begin.

I awoke with a start. I was panting. I shot up and looked to my side to see that Helena was sitting up, staring at me. Her blonde hair was up in a messy bun and she was wearing sweat pants and a Duke sweatshirt.

"What happened?" she asked. Her voice was fearful.

I shook my head to wake up some more. "I was just about to ask you the same thing."

She walked over to my bed and sat down by my feet. "Bad dream?" She asked with understanding.

I nodded. She handed me a cold glass of water which I took gratefully. I drank in gulps, letting the cool liquid slide down my throat and soothe my burning insides. I felt like I was on fire.

"Want to talk about it?" Helena suggested, taking the now empty glass and setting in on the night table.

I sighed. "It was really messed up," I said.

She looked at me with her understanding eyes. "You're going to tell me anyway. I can sense it."

I smiled at her. "Well, I was in some sort of dream world. At first, I was in this meadow with Greyson and it was almost as if he was forcing me to confess that I didn't love him. Then I fell back into my old house, the one I lived in when my parents were still alive," I began. "My dad was there, except he was still human. He explained to me about the Elixir and he told me that it could raise humans from the dead and turn them into vampires. I don't really get that…"

Helena widened her eyes. "Marcy, how could your dream have possibly told you that?"

"I don't know," I said while shaking my head. "I really can't explain all of this…"

"Marcy, Elixir is made with vampire venom, one of the most power substances in the world. The affects it has on humans is absolutely unpredictable. It could possibly raise them from the dead and turn them into vampires but they would have to be…"

"Dead vampires," I finished for her.

She nodded solemnly.

"My dream dad explained it all to me. And suddenly, we were visiting all of the houses of the people I ever loved. But in reality, I knew they were all dead, yet in my dream, they were all alive. My dad told me that these were the people I needed to protect."

Helena furrowed her perfect eyebrows together. "So he was basically telling you to protect your dead relatives?"

I nodded, not able to find a better explanation. "It was so bizarre. And the weirdest thing was that when I dreamed about Greyson, it seemed so real. It was like he was actually in my dream."

Helena nodded, but something was off. I could see it in here eyes. She smiled stiffly at me and looked at the clock. "You've been asleep for a while now. I think you got home at around three in the morning and now its noon. You should shower, change and then come downstairs for lunch. You look like you need a good meal."

I smiled gratefully. "Thanks," I said.

She smiled back, hopped out of bed and sped out the door. I looked after her in confusion, but shrugged it off. A shower would be nice.

-x-

After furiously washing my hair twice with fresh scented shampoo, brushing my teeth, taming my curly hair and reapplying my makeup, I finally felt clean enough to go on with the day normally. I opened my already filled closet and pulled on a pair of fitted jeans and a sweatshirt.

All the while, I was thinking about the events of last night. King Archon, also known as my dad, had told me to stay away from Greyson and mate with Logan. Too bad Logan was a douche. I hated him already and I've been at this house no more than three days.

The thought of him brought anger into my mind. I was going to go downstairs and confront him.

I stomped down the stairs and into the lounge where Cody, Lucy and Taryn were casually chatting it away with glasses of red wine perched precariously on their legs. I cast a glance at them and met Cody's eyes. Plastering a fake smile, I continued to walk by them.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Taryn's snobby voice stopped me in my tracks.

I glared at her. "Leave me alone," I warned.

Lucy looked up to Cody for some back up. He sighed. "Look, Taryn, Marcy has had a hard past couple of days. Could you just lay off her for a while?"

"How did you know…?" I questioned.

Cody tapped his head gently and mouthed the words 'mind-reader' to me. I immediately understood and a wave of embarrassment washed over me. "Sorry, I forgot," I whispered.

He smiled at me and turned back to Lucy who didn't look at him until she gave me a friendly, but sad gaze. Taryn was absolutely fuming, but at least she was silent.

"See you later, guys," I said before hurrying off again.

I was just about to pass the kitchen when Helena stopped me.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked in a playful tone.

"Going to find Logan. We need to talk."

She tsked disapprovingly. "You need to eat first," she handed me a small plate with eggs and toast. I looked longingly at it, but Logan was far more important. I tried to dodge her and swerve to her right. She anticipated it and blocked me. I tried to swerve to the left. Blocked again.

"Are you going to eat or not," Helena asked angrily, setting the plate down with a clatter.

I looked at her pleadingly. "Just please let me talk to Logan first. Where is he?"

She let out a drawn out breath. "Upstairs in his room. I'll get him."

"Get who?" Logan's voice was suddenly very close to my ear. I felt him behind me, whirled around and glared at him.

"Woah, someone woke up on the wrong side of bed today," he said, holding his hands up in front of him in surrender.

I had to admit, he did look good. His dark hair was tousled nicely. He was wearing a black t-shirt and some dark jeans. And he looked like he hadn't shaved this morning, but it suited him. He also smelled like cinnamon.

"You. Leave. Me. Alone," I spat at him.

He looked desperately at Helena. "Is there something I'm missing?"

She shrugged and walked away, probably sensing that this was going to get ugly real soon.

"We need to talk," I said angrily.

He smirked. "About…?"

I smacked his arm. It probably hurt me more that it hurt him. "Just listen to me you son of a bitch, we need to talk and we need to do it now."

Logan stared at me quizzically.

"Let's take this some where else," Logan said, glancing at Taryn, Cody and Lucy. I nodded and followed him. Finally something we could agree on.

He led me to the library, and I was getting ready to settle in one of the leather chairs, he pulled a book out of the shelf and the shelf swung open. I gasped.

"Shut up and get in here," Logan said as he ushered me into the secret hallway.

The shelf closed after Logan entered. I was enveloped in darkness and was suddenly overcome by fear. And the strong smell of wet mold.

"Where the fuck are we?" I screamed quietly.

"Just follow my voice," Logan said, suddenly ahead of me.

I took an unsteady step forward. "Is there going to be some kind of drop or something? Because if I die, I swear to god Greyson will kill you," I shouted.

"Calm down, Marcy. Nothing is going to happen. Just keep walking."

We walked for about two minutes before we entered a small, square room. Most of the room was taken up by a gigantic fridge. Then a small couch, a coffee table and a TV were squeezed in.

"Where are we?" I asked.

Logan opened the fridge and brought out two beers. Skillfully, he placed the tops of the beer on the coffee table and snapped off the caps. He offered me one and I took it unenthusiastically.

"We are in a place I like to call heaven," Logan said after taking a huge gulp of beer.

I looked around the dingy space. "I see where it gets its name. This place is so damn heavenly," I remarked sarcastically.

Logan laughed. "No, this place is heaven because no one but me, Greyson and Cody knew about it. Now you do too. It's our little bachelor pad if you will. Somewhere to go to if we want to avoid the ladies for a while, get them off out backs."

He plopped down comfortably on the small couch, taking up more than half of the space, and patted the empty area next to him. "Take a seat and let's get this damn talk over with."

I sat down on the edge, as far away from him as possible.

"First I need to ask you something," I said. I watched as he took a sip of his beer. "How can you vampires drink?"

He put down his bottle and looked at me with a patronizing gaze. "Drinking alcohol curbs our cravings. We absorb the alcohol into our blood, our venom is tricked into thinking it is blood and we end up with a more muted craving. It's really simple, actually." He shrugged and took a swig out of his bottle again, taking his time.

"…And do you guys eat human food?" I asked.

"Sometimes, but it just sits in our stomach. We kind of puke it out a while later. Our stomachs can't really handle the chemicals and products in human food so after we eat it, usually to seem human, and the food comes back up."

I stuck my tongue out. "That's nasty."

Logan looked serious. "But it's necessary. So what did you want to talk to me about? You didn't come all the way here with me just to talk about vampire eating habits, did you?"

I rolled my eyes. "I went to a Council meeting yesterday," I started.

Then I paused for a really long time. Logan stared at me, anxious to hear what I was going to say, but I couldn't really get it out of my mouth.

"And what? Don't leave me hanging, damn it!" He yelled, his mouth full of alcohol. If it weren't for his devilish good looks, I bet no girl would like him. He was an absolutely filthy pig.

I swallowed. "And my dad, King Archon, told me that I needed to be mates with you."

Logan disgustingly spewed out his beer. "He said what?"

"He said that I needed to be mates with you. Stop making me say it so much, it's painful to think about," I snarled.

He shook his head. "Okay, so let me get this straight. Daddy Archon wants his precious little baby to mate with me?"

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "When you put it that way, it sounds ten thousand times worse."

"No, honey, it sounds bad in every which way."

I sighed. "So what are we going to do?"

I took a drink of beer and allowed the bitter alcohol to slide down my throat, leaving a burning sensation afterwards.

"I think we have to…you know…pretend to love each other. The Council is watching our every move, I mean; we are their most prized possessions."

I grimaced. "That's fucked up. I'd rather die."

"Honestly, so would I. But pretending to be in love would be much better that getting executed by one of the Council members; especially if it were my dad."

I nodded in agreement. Something else we can agree on.

"It's going to be so hard to show affection for you," I commented.

Logan looked shocked. "Me? Look at me; I'm the hottest vamp alive. You know you want me." He licked his lips.

I covered my eyes. "You sick, sick pervert."

I felt the couch shift as he scooted closer to me. I tried to shrink away, but I was wedged between the edge of the couch and his body, leaving me with no way of escaping.

"Don't deny that you have feelings for me," he whispered in my ear. I could still smell his cinnamon scent, but it was mixed with the strong beer he was inhaling.

I placed my hand on his face and pushed. Hard.

"Get away from me," I groaned.

Suddenly, Logan's weight was off me. I looked up at him with flaming cheeks to see that he was doubled over laughing.

"You. Are. So. Fucking. Stupid," he chocked out between his laughs.

I crossed my arms. "I can't believe I have to like you."

Logan stopped laughing and waggled a finger at me. "No, you have to love me."

I sighed.

"Speaking of fake love, how is Greyson doing?"

Logan looked taken aback, but recovered quickly. "I guess he's fine, doesn't really talk about the subject though. He's a conservative guy."

I nodded. "Do you know if he's okay?"

He shrugged. "He seems fine, but you never know what's going on with that kid."

I smiled a little. "You know, I've never seen this side of you before."

"You've known me for two days."

"But still," I said. "You just seemed like you would be a douche all the time. I would have never imagined you would actually care for someone."

"I have my moments," Logan responded. I could almost see the smugness radiating off his body in waves.

We talked for a few more hours. It seemed like a long time, but it passed quickly. When we walked out of the tunnel, I felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

"You know, that wasn't all that bad," I said as I watched Logan shut the shelf door.

"It wasn't," he replied.

"So, um, what are we going to do now?"

He smiled and there was a devilish look in his eyes. "We could… get to know each other," he suggested.

I gasped at his frankness. "I don't think that would be a good idea… Greyson wouldn't be…"

Logan scoffed. "Why the hell do you always worry about what mother fucking Greyson thinks? You told him you didn't love him, remember?"

I nodded, scared by Logan's sudden outburst.

"Then why are you so scared? You're free to do whatever the fuck you want! So why do you keep going back to Greyson? Just take a goddamn leap of faith already," he yelled.

I cringed back in fear.

Suddenly, Greyson walked by the library. "What's going on here? I heard yelling?" His eyes were worried and searching. His smooth and strong voice nearly melted me. I blushed, glancing at Logan. His expression was unreadable.

And then, Logan stepped towards me in one glide, placing his strong hands on my cheeks. Greyson gasped, I almost blacked out from the shock.

Soon, Logan's lips were on mine. I held still. His lips were rough and unfamiliar and the taste of the strong cinnamon was almost unbearable. His hands were tangled in my hair. I didn't move a muscle. My hands were balled into fists, pressed into my sides. I didn't feel anything for Logan. It was as if I was kissing a tree, weird and completely awful.

When Logan finally pulled away, hot tears were streaming down my eyes. There was a smirk on his face. I fearfully turned to Greyson to see that his expression was horrified.

Then, Greyson composed himself, setting his face into a hard expression. "I think I should get going now," he said coldly, turned on his heel and walked away.

"Wait! Greyson, wait!" I yelled, stumbling after him.

Greyson kept walking, but his steps were faster. I had to run to catch up to him.

When I finally reached him, I grabbed his arm and he whirled around.

He was practically seething.

"Wait, let me explain…" I begged.

He shook his head. "Explain what? How you were trying to put on this huge show about how you're over me and how you like Logan now? Are you going to get cold feet and take back your feelings for him, too?"

I was having another complete meltdown, but I needed to stay strong. I needed to prove to him that I wouldn't cry over the silliest things.

"No. I don't have any feelings for him. He attacked me," I said simply. It's not like there was anything else I wanted to say.

"Marcy, you are so stubborn, throwing yourself at others, hoping they would catch you when you fall. Well it's time to wake up and smell the fucking roses because not everyone can be trusted so quickly…"

Okay, he was seriously pushing my buttons. I was getting more and more pissed by the second.

"Damn it Greyson, you listen to me! I didn't throw myself at Logan. He came for me! I didn't even react because kissing him was like kissing a tree. And you don't honestly believe that I would just trust someone so quickly, do you? Because if you do, I was wrong about you," I said, standing up straighter. It felt good to be able to defend myself, but it looked as if my explanation wasn't enough to persuade Greyson.

"Look Marcy, I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to protect you." Greyson's voice was softer now but my anger was just beginning.

"You wanted to protect me?" I screamed, jabbing a finger into his chest. "If you wanted to protect me so damn much, why did you go into my dream last night? I felt you there, dumb ass. If you were going to invade my personal subconscious thoughts, you could have at least tried to make it less obvious!"

Greyson took a few steps back. "I…how…I didn't mean to. I'm sorry; I was just trying to convince you to…"

"To what? Not love you? If you wanted to tell me that, just tell it to my face! Stay out of my dreams!"

"Marcy, I do it without realizing! I am a dream walker; I enter your dreams whenever I think about doing it! And when I realize what I have done, it's always too late to take it back. Being a vampire with powers has its ups and downs, you should understand that," Greyson tried to calm me down.

I shook my head. "If you haven't noticed, I'm not a blood sucker yet."

Without waiting for a response, I turned around and walked out of the door. I wasn't going to wait on anybody. If I wanted to get turned into a vampire, I would do it myself if I had to.

AN: Just did a word count… 4,418 words. Are you proud of me? Sorry I couldn't update sooner, school kind of sneaked up on me and it is finals next week. I've been cramming like a monster the past few days, so please forgive me. I want to thank everyone for reviewing! I literally can't continue this without your wonderful, helpful and thoughtful reviews. This chapter took a while because I was kind of losing inspiration but halfway through this chapter; I suddenly came up with something. Be ready for the next few chapters that come. They won't disappoint!