JJ's Perspective.
What I needed most was to love and to be loved, eager to be caught. Happily I wrapped those painful bonds around me; and sure enough, I would be lashed with the red-hot pokers or jealousy, by suspicions and fear, by burst of anger and quarrels. -St. Augustine
When I wake, Reid's not there. I sit up, and stretch my arms, and hear the shower going. I get out of the bed, and make the covers before walking to the bathroom door. I knock on the door, "Hey, who said you could have a shower." I laugh, and lean against the door. "Sorry, I just felt so grimy from drinking." I smile, "Do you want me to make coffee, or we could pick some up on the way." I go to my closet and pick out a pink blouse, and a black pin striped blazer. I grab some black pants, and take off my shorts and shirt. "Oh god sorry!" I hear from behind me, I turn to see the bathroom door shutting quickly. I glance down at myself, and then back at the door. I quickly get changed and knock on the door, "You can come out now." I walk to the kitchen, and grab my briefcase from the doorway. I organize my files, and then put an apple in my bag. Spencer walks around the corner, still fluttered. "You've never seen a girl naked…have you Spence." His eyes snap up in a panic at me. I watch him fiddle with his belt, and then the strap on his bag. "Well, no. I never got a chance to when I was in high school…because I was 12." He moves to the doorway, and puts his shoes on. "We'll grab coffee on the way?" He smiles a crooked smile. "You know its okay that you haven't you know?" He keeps tying his shoe slowly. "Please don't say anything at work. I'll never hear the end of it with Morgan and Garcia." I nod, and slip on some high heeled boots. "Your secrets safe with me." I make a zipper action across my mouth, and open the door. "After you?" I smile, and glance around the house quickly before walking behind him, and locking the door.
"So, where do you usually get coffee from?" He gets in the car, and unlocks the passenger's side for me. "Well, depends really. Some days I feel like I need a very bitter coffee, and others I feel like I need a flowery kind…did you know that…" I put my hand up, and smile. "Reid, just drive to the place you would like your coffee from today." He nods, and turns the car on, pulling out of the driveway. "JJ, about last night…" I pause, and look at him. "I won't tell anyone that either Spence." I feel my heart sink as that words escape my mouth. I already knew that I had to tell Garcia. She will no something's up if I don't fill her in with what went on after her and Morgan left. He drives to a small coffee shop about 15 minutes away. He turns off the car, and turns to me. "By the way JJ, you look…exquisite." He tells me, and gets out of the car. I sit there shocked for a minute, and then get out of the car.
He orders a regular coffee, and I order a Mocha. Before he can take out his wallet, I put down a twenty dollar bill down. "I owe you." I wink at him, and grab my change from the cashier, and thank her. I walk over to my coffee, and meet Reid where the sugar and milk is. "Reid, I need to know something from you." He pours some milk into his coffee, and stirs it. "What is it JJ?" I gulp some air, and look at my cup. "How long have you had feelings for me?" His hand stops moving for a second, then continues faster. "Oh well, for awhile. They first came up when Gideon was in the BAU, and well when he left you were there to help me with the fact that he did leave. You were one of the people who have been there for me. It means a lot to me JJ. There was never anyone who could understand me; I was 12 in high school, 12! Do you know how hard it is to be 12, and trying to do Year 11 Calculus? Pretty hard. My mother was…wasn't a mother at that point either. I…" I wrap my arm around his waist, and lean my head against his arm. "Shh, I understand Spence; I will always be here for you. I care for you, and only want the best for you." I kiss his arm, and walk outside.
We arrive at the BAU, and it's quiet. I hear heels clicking closer to me, and then Garcia's beside me, dragging me to my office. "Garc…" She laughs, and covers my mouth. "Shh, we need to talk." My eyes flicker to Reid, who's standing there staring back at me. He shrugs his shoulders, and I watch as Morgan grab him by the shoulders, and pulls him to the elevator. Garcia shuts the door behind us, and shuts the blinds.
"You have to keep this a secret okay?" She informs me, and sits at the chair in front of my desk. I go and sit at my desk, and cock my head at her. "Okay?" I watch her close her eyes, and smile. "Derek kissed me. On the lips! When you and Reid stayed here, he took me for dinner. We talked and laughed all night. So when he went to take me home, we ended up at the doorstep, and bam! He kissed me, and my god JJ, Sparks! There were sparks from our lips!" She's basically shaking at this point. I watch her tap her lip for a minute, and then she continues. "I invited him in too…" My jaw drops, and her smile gets wider. "He did too! Before you get to excited, all we did was sleep. I was so nervous to suggest anything else. He was so cute in his shirtless boxer bod in my bed! I could have died JJ; I could have died a very happy women." I try and find words to say, but come up a blank. "So wait, what's going to happen now with you two? Are you a couple?" I ask, and she looks at me with an extremely puzzled look on her face. "I think…I think we are. He was telling me all morning how beautiful I was. I should talk to him though right?" She pauses, then slap her hand to her mouth, mumbling against it. "Oh god! What did you and Reid do last night? I forgot to ask!" I try and avoid her look, but before I say anything she gasps. "It's not what you think Garcia! We just kissed okay? That was it! We had dinner, and some drinks. I didn't want him driving home, so he stayed overnight. It was only a kiss!" I panic, and feel my heart sink with each word I say. She squeals and pats her thighs. "God, finally. You two have had so much sexual chemistry you should have been doing the dirty years ago." I roll my eyes, and stand up. "I'd love for you to keep this on the down low. Dirt for dirt?" She nods, and skips out of my office.
I slump back into my chair, as Reid walks in, shutting the door behind him. I quickly stand up, "Reid, oh god I feel awful but I…" My words are cut off with Reid kissing me. He's holding my face gently, and my arms have wrapped around his waist. When he pulls away, he's still holding me. "I told Morgan…" I smile, and sigh. "I told Garcia." He laughs, and pecks my lips again. "Dirt for dirt we us four." I tell him, and quickly go back to my chair. "Hotch is going to be coming in here any second. So you should go. We'll talk after work alright?" He nods, and casually walks out of my office.
I sigh again, and open my briefcase, taking the files out, as Hotch walks in. "JJ, We need to talk about the case in California. It's almost two clean." I nod, "I was just thinking the same thing."
We arrive back at the BAU late, and everyone but Garcia, Morgan, Reid, and I have left. We all stand around the office, and look around. "Well, since we all no about each other. Should we all discuss it?" Reid asks all of us. Garcia and I burst into laughter, and I pat Spence's back. "Oh Spence, you're so funny." He looks at me confused, then at the ground. "Pretty boy, you need to learn the ways of love." Morgan informs him, and winks at Garcia. She blushes instantly, and looks at me. "Dinner? The three of us?" I nod, and look towards the guys. Morgan's already picked his bag, and Reid was packing papers quickly into his. "I guess that's a yes from then." I laugh, and walk into my office to pack up my files.
A few seconds later, then door shuts, and Reid's standing there. "Yes?" I ask and continue to pack. "J…Jennifer, I've been thinking that maybe we should…give us a try? You know what I mean, because I think it's in our best interest that we explode the possibility of us having some sort of a connection." He keeps blabbing on as I walk towards him. I wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him. When I pull away, he looks shocked. "Spence, you need to learn to talk less, and just do." I peck him softly, and then go back to grab my bag. "Let's go." I smile at him, and we walk out of the office.
We arrive at a small restaurant out of town. "Thought that this would be safer to go too, so we don't run into Hotch or Rossi." Reid tells me, and we get out of the car as Morgan and Garcia drive up. I stand and wait for her to get out of the car. "God, this place looks nicer than I'm dressed for." Morgan smiles at her, and walks next to her. "Baby-girl, you look gorgeous anytime. This place has nothing on you." She swats his arm, and he laughs. I look at Reid who's staring at Morgan and Garcia. I sigh, and turn to the doorway. "Well let's go inside then, I'm getting cold." I tell everyone, and start towards the door. Reid walks beside me, and his hands hits mine. I tangle my fingers with his, and look at him. "Why don't you grab my hand next time?" I wink at him, and laugh. I can hear Garcia and Morgan giggling at my remark, and Spencer's face turns bright red. "I'm not forward, you know that." He tells me, as Morgan smacks him on the back. "Reid, you and me are going to go for a drink tomorrow okay? We're going to teach you something's for JJ's sake." He laughs, and takes Garcia's hand.
We enter the restaurant, and get seated. Garcia and I sit across from the guys, and whisper to each other. "Reid has been staring at you like a hawk staring at a mouse. He wants you!" She whispers, and I sneak a glance at Reid. She was right. Reid is looking at me, and so far I haven't seen him blink. Morgan taps him with his elbow, and he snaps his head to look at him. "Well Morgan is doing the same to you. Were going to have to let Hotch know about what's going on pretty damn soon you know. It's really obvious that something is going between the 4 of us." I inform Garcia and she nods. I look back up to see Reid smiling and nodding at Morgan. "God, what did you just tell him? I'm not sure I approve of this dinner anymore." My eye widen, and I look at Morgan who is now trying to put on a straight face. "I didn't tell pretty boy anything, he's telling me stories about his college years." I roll my eyes, and eat my food in silence.
Once we finish up and leave, we all stand by the SUV's and talk. "Well its getting late, how about you take me home my chocolate sugar cookie." Garcia coo's at Morgan. "Alright Baby-girl, let's get you to bed." Garcia hugs me, and says goodbye to Reid before they drive off. "I should get getting you home too." Reid tells me, and gets in the car. I get in, and look over at him while I put the seatbelt on. "Do you…want to stop over at your place to get some clothes?" I ask him, and bite my lip gently. He looks over at me, more confused that ever. "Why?" I raise my eyebrow, and look away. "Oh forget Spence, let's just go." I feel him touch my knee and I turn to look at him again. "JJ, I'm kidding." He laughs, and starts the car. I roll my eyes, and swat his arm gently. "Just for that, straight to my house, no stopping anymore." I laugh, and he looks like he's going to burst out laughing.
We pull into my driveway, and head inside. "I'm going to go get changed, can you lock up?" He nods, and I head to my bedroom to change. I leave my door open out of habit, and take my shirt and pants off. A few seconds later I feel arms wrap around me. "I'm new at this." He whispers against my neck. He leaves gentle kiss down my neck, and shoulder. "Reid, you don't have to try and be Morgan." I close my eyes, and smile. I turn around, and look at him. His eyes go wide, and he's fighting the urge to smile. "Oh lord, you are like a child Spence." I kiss him softly before slipping on a large t-shirt. "I know it's not what you want to hear, but I'm tired Hun, tomorrow night I'll rock your very large brain." I tell him. "Actually that's a myth, all brains are the same size, and everyone has the capacity to be the same intelligence as me, but most people don't put the time and effort into their studies to do that. There was this one kid…" I put my finger to his mouth, and smile. "Spencer, hush." He walks over to the bed, and takes his shirt, and pants off. He looks at me while he stands there in just his boxers. "Are you going to stand there and stare at me? Or are you going to get into bed?" I ask him, as I walk over to the bed, and lay down.
Reid lies down next to me, and wraps his arms around me. I lie on my side and look at him. "Do you think were rushing things?" I ask him, and place my hand on his cheek. "JJ, I wouldn't know what rushing it was if it slapped me in the face. All I know is that I've cared about you for a long time now, and I don't want to lose you." I smile, and peck kiss him softly but passionately. "Spencer, you make me happier than I've ever been in my life. I don't know what I would do if I had never met you, or joined the BAU. I don't think I can bear to lose you at this point, and I don't think there is time to go back to the way things were you know?" He nods, and places his hand on my cheek, rubbing it gently with his thumb. "Tell me something though Spence…" He smiles, "What is it JJ?" I sigh, and look at the bed. "Do you love me…?"
I think about all the time that we've know each other, and how all the years that I've felt this spark, I've just shrugged in off. I watch him shut his eyes, and sigh loudly. "Jennifer…I don't really know how to describe how I feel. I want to yell out every little thing that I feel when you touch me, or when you're near me. It physically hurts me when you're not around me. I feel like there is something alive in my stomach when you talk to me, or when you surprise me. I don't know what love is, but I really do this that I love you." I look at his face, and smile. "Spence, I know that I'm not capable of loving you at this moment in time. Though, in a few months, weeks, or even days, I know I will." I kiss him with force this time, and tangle my legs with his. "Don't fret okay? You are special to me Spence, don't forget it." I kiss his nose, and close my eyes. I feel him pull my closer as we drift off to sleep.