I really liked writing this chapter.
No, I didn't make Kurt go crazy to fill my Klaine fueled heart. Just read on and be happy.
Kurt drove to the building where Mrs. Howell's office was. When he had arrived there, he was greeted by a bubbly blonde girl who was far too happy. Or perhaps it seemed that way to Kurt, who wasn't in his best days.
"Mrs. Howell is ready for you." She said, opening the door for him.
The same awkward Emma he remembered from his days at McKinley sat on a chair next to a sofa, writing on a notepad.
"Kurt…Kurt?" She looked up from her notebook and her face had truly brightened up when she saw him coming closer.
"Miss Pillsbury, Hi… Sorry if I call you that, I never got used to your last name change." He greeted.
"No, no! Kurt, it's okay. Sit down, stay up, lie down-whatever makes you feel comfortable." She said.
Kurt lied down on the sofa in front of her and sighed. Here he was, about to empty his heart out.
"So…just tell me anything you want to talk about"
"It's not like I want to talk about it, but Blaine would want me to move on with my life. And I don't think I'm going to be able to do that without getting some professional help."
"Blaine? Your fiancé?" Emma asked. She didn't know much about him, but Will had once told her that Kurt had gotten engaged.
"Yes. He died, you know?"
Emma gasped quietly. She didn't want to seem unprofessional. "Continue" was all she managed to say.
A tear rolled down Kurt's cheek.
"Back when Dave Karofsky threatened to kill me, I went to Dalton Academy to see if the no-bullying policy was legitimate. What I found was more than that; I met Blaine in the grand staircase, where he led me to their Glee Club, the Warblers. He sang, and I found myself infatuated with him. My dad had found out about the threats, and decided to send me to Dalton." Kurt paused and saw Emma nodding.
"You've probably heard about this back then. I transferred. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I wasn't slushied at Dalton. I was actually, kind of popular. Blaine soon proved to be a great friend. We went out together all the time. We went for coffee every day after Warbler practice. But he didn't make any moves on me. And I was dying for him to say anything more romantically inclined."
Kurt sighed and continued.
"He was just everything I had been waiting for. He was courteous, brave, caring, attentive, funny, and let's not even get into his looks. I felt like a Disney princess waiting for the prince to make the first move. We had known each other for almost a year, and still nothing. That's when I decided to man up and do things myself."
A couple more tears. Kurt was surprised with himself. He was handling talking about Blaine better than he thought he would. Perhaps it was the fact of not feeling vulnerable. He never liked feeling vulnerable. The only people he ever cried in front of were his dad and Blaine.
Recognizing that Blaine had truly made his way to Kurt's heart and that the space he had filled was gone caused more tears to spill, and roll down Kurt's cheeks.
Emma just smiled apologetically.
"So, there we were. Blaine decided to go on a classic picnic with me, checkered blanket and everything. We were watching the sunset, very much like a romantic movie. I decided to be straightforward and ask him if he truly only saw me as a friend."
"Blaine, do you mind if I ask something really personal?"
"Not at all. What is it, Kurt?"
"Do you only see me as a friend? I mean, not even a tiny piece of you feels anything for me? More than friends?"
"Kurt…I…Truth is, I do. I dream of us being together every night. When we go out, I smile because we look like a couple. It's hard for me to refrain from kissing you."
"Then why..? Why haven't you kissed me?"
"Karosfsky. He forced your first kiss, I wasn't sure if you felt the same way I did, so I couldn't do the same he had done. I didn't want to risk our friendship. I still don't want to risk that."
"Risk what we are to see what we could be" Kurt thought.
"Silly you. I wouldn't have minded." Kurt said, pressing his lips against Blaine's softly.
A thought rushed through Kurt's mind. "Never kiss someone you're not formally with. What if they decide they don't actually like you and you're left with only want for more kisses, but you don't have the person to get them?" Rachel had once said.
Kurt broke the kiss and looked at Blaine's beautiful face.
"Blaine Anderson, would you like to be my boyfriend?" Kurt asked.
"Of course I would" Blaine answered, kissing Kurt again.
Remembering happy times with Blaine made Kurt's mood a little better. They say that if you remember someone, they had never truly died. They still lived in your heart.
He looked up to see Emma tearing up a bit.
"I…um…that was just so pretty, Kurt. I'm so sorry you lost Blaine. My secretary will help you program your next session. I will see you next time."
Kurt always thought psychologists were kind of silly. They just sat there nodding to everything you said. But this was helping. Talking about Blaine felt good.
Look at this, the longest chapter I've ever written!
That thing Rachel once told Kurt? PERSONAL WISDOM.
The boy I kissed for the first time was not my boyfriend. We were on the steps but he ended up getting cold feet and leaving me with only the want.