Author's Note:

So, here's the deal. Season thirteen, episode ... two. The Coon. There's a deleted scene where Kyle gets thrown in jail for covering up for Mysterion. Hope you all got/get to see it. Youtube has it.

This is Stan's point of view.

Chapter 3: Nerves

It had been six months since the last time all three of us had gotten together. We had all stopped talking to Cartman when he was fifteen, because he actually almost succeeded in ripping Kyle to bits. He had managed to catch Kyle's mom and dad off guard, and finally broken into the room. He had stabbed Kyle so brutally, that Kyle had been in the hospital for three months healing. Sheila had finally had it, and refused to let him in the house or anywhere near her little Bubula. I guess I should go back to where it started.

In all the years that had gone by, Eric Cartman was, is, and will always be an anti-Semitic racist offensive piece of shit. It hadn't changed a bit over the last few years. The poor slob had dropped out of school simply because he said he had other plans with his life. Plans that involved spillage of human blood. I wondered every night before I went to bed just how serious this was.

Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and I had been attached to each other for ever since we were in diapers. Practically. It was no secret that one of us was a little bit worse off than all the rest of us combine. Can anyone guess who that was?

"…Tearing yourself apart!" My girlfriend Wendy finally cut into my thoughts.

"What?" I asked afraid to open my mouth.

"Ugh." she sighed. "I was saying that you're driving yourself insane over Kyle and Kenny. You're gonna end up tearing yourself apart!" she said bitterly. "Stan!"

"I heard!" I moaned as I sat there. "Wendy, you don't understand! This is serious! I haven't seen Kenny at all in the last six months, if only glimpses in the hall. And it's been a week since Kyle's showed up. I mean, I texted him more times than I have ever texted him in my life." I said sighing.

"This is all over those two, huh?" she asked soothingly. "It must be a really strong bond, Stan." she said sweetly.

"Yeah." I said softly as a knot formed in my throat. "I guess I just never realized how strong it was either. Sorry."

"For what?" she asked softly.

"Well, you and Bebe don't really talk." I said sighing. "And yet, look at us."

"Stanley." she said taking my hand in hers. "We don't talk because interests changed for us. I'm so much more practical than she. Don't say that either." she said squeezing my hand. "We do talk, Stan. Just not like old times. Why look so down?" she asked. "You already managed to rip twenty napkins to bits in your fit of rage."

"I don't know, Wendy." I said sighing. "I just feel like something's going on between us. Me, Ken, and Kyle. I can't grasp it. But I don't-"

I stopped in mid-sentence. I don't want us to grow apart. Was that a gay comment to make? Would Cartman be right in the assumption that I was such a pussy? No! It can't be. I just felt this way because I was worried. I felt this way because I hadn't spent time with my two super best friends in so long.

"…Side?" Wendy had asked me a question. "Would you like to go outside?" she asked pointedly again. "I'm done with my lunch, and you hardly touched yours. No point sitting here waiting."

If he was here, Kenny would take my uneaten lunch off my hands. If he was here, Kyle would be able to help me with my trig homework. Not that Wendy wasn't smart, but I needed my friends. Something was happening, and I couldn't really figure out what.

"…Okay?" Wendy was talking again.

I looked up to see her, but instead, my eyes found a very familiar pair. It was the tall Canadian that I nearly threw myself on. Ike stood in front of me and Wendy, looking about ready to answer her previously unheard by me question.

"No. He's really ill. His diabetes is acting up again." Ike said sighing. "Stan, you look like hell." he observed coming over to me and laying a hand on my shoulder.

"How is he?" I asked as tears filled my eyes.

"He was a little better today. Mom says that if he gets woise," He slipped into a twang of Mrs. Broflovski's voice. "I'll be taking my little bubula to the hospital."

"Holy shit, dude!" I yelled.

"You've been doing that since you were nine, man." Ike said laughing. "Anyway, he was doing a lot better today. He was eating for the first time in a week. At this rate, he'll be thinner than Kenny by the time he's through."

"You haven't had him over, have you?" Wendy asked for me as my eyes closed and my throat clogged up.

"No, Stan. No, not him. Larder tried another attempt at breaking into my brother's room, though, but that was about it. That's why I've been looking for all of you. Do you mind if I talk to you two by yourselves?"

So, he related Kyle's story to us. Mysterion was back? But how? We'd all played super heroes back when we were nine, but it stopped after Kyle got thrown in jail. He covered up for the real Mysterion, whoever it is. I hated how I couldn't see so many things that needed to fit into this whole story. But now, Mysterion was back, and I didn't know why I felt so strange about it. Should I be scared? I fell in love with my girl all over again at this point. She had no clue that our heroes and foes game went that far when we were kids, but she seemed to know the severity of what Mysterion being back might mean. Lately there's been an increase in robberies, and shootings. Half of which have been stopped by Barbrady, miraculously.

"…Evenings." she said smiling. "Every girl is obsessed with him."

"Excuse me?" I asked not hearing the first bit.

"I said Mysterion's been on the news for the past few weeks during the evenings. I'm thinking it's because the kids and stuff are all out of school at that time, and they want ratings."

"Are _you obsessed with him?" I asked pointedly.

"No, Stan! He looks like Craig. And Craig is an asshole."

I took my cell phone out of my pocket, and checked it. I had a new message from Kyle. A voice mail. I quickly dialed in, and listened.

"Hey, Stan. Sorry I couldn't text and stuff. I've been doing so bad lately. And the worst part is, dude, Cartman is not leaving me the fuck alone. Hey, I need to talk to you guys. You and Kenny. Try to come home with Ike today. Okay? I need to see some people other than my mom. I'm dying over here. Bored. Anyway, Stan, I, uh, luh, I mean, See you soon. Love you. Bye."

I saved the message, and played it over three times before I finally hung up. He loved me? Really? What?

"…Seen him at all." It was Ike this time who had talked and I'd missed his statement. He gave me a grin. "I said that Kyle asked me to try and get you and Ken to come over, but I haven't seen Kenny at all. Sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of his orange jacket, or his face, but usually only a tiny one. And for a bit. Anyway, it looked like Kyle really wants to see you both. So, I'm gonna go try and find him, and see."

"Hurry, Ike. There's not much time before the lunch bell rings." Wendy said as she steered me out into the yard. "I'll deal with Stan." she said as Ike came up to me.

"Hey, dude." he said seriously. "No one's died, yet. Okay? So, cheer up." he said as he came over and hugged me.

Ike. I was hugging Ike. I was hugging a link to Kyle. I was holding a living member of my best friend's family. And he was reassuring me. Kyle was going to be okay, and so was everything else.

When he finally let go of me, I spotted him running off as fast as he could. I turned to look at my girlfriend, and she wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Let's hit the car, for a bit, Stan." she said leading me to my car.