Chapter 6: A Place To Be
Bonnie Felton
When I woke up the next day, I felt really rested. I opened my eyes, and I stretched. I reached to my bedside and turned on my laptop. I scanned the bottom portion of it, trying to find the time so I would see what I needed to do before I left. It was five in the morning. My shift started at eight. I was fine. I got up, and got dressed. Pulling on a shirt, and some jeans. I mostly had black and red shirts, and my ten pairs of jeans. So, everything always matched, and I didn't have to worry about it. I had a drawer in my dresser full of white shirts, but I only rarely wore those. I brushed my hair, and pulled it out of my face. I quickly brushed my teeth and went into the living room. I only had one couch. I walked over to it, and was about to sit down, when I felt a warm something where my hand landed. I touched a broad back. I gasped. Someone had broken into my house!
"What the hell is going on?" I gasped.
"Go away." said a soft muffled voice.
"Kenny?" I asked. "Kenny? Is that you?"
"Oh, hey, Bonnie." he said shifting a little. "Sorry. I was having a bad dream."
"How did you get in here?" I asked. "Not that I mind, I just wanna know."
"I just…" He let out a big yawn as he sat up. I heard him pulling his hood down. "I just opened your door with a fucking knife." he said. "It doesn't look like anyone did anything to it, and I didn't break the lock." he added hastily. "I make sure not to do that, you know?"
"It's Saturday, kid. What are you up to?" I asked as I sat down beside him.
"Well, I needed to be somewhere better than my last place. I couldn't deal with things anymore." he said softly.
"Ken, you've been acting so strange lately, bro. Is there anything I can do?" I asked.
"Just listen." he said with a cold tone. "Just shut your mouth, and listen. I don't need you to try to fix my shit, I don't need your pity, just listen."
The boy sat with me practically yelling. Practically screaming. He was shouting at the top of his lungs. Telling me all I already knew. But who was I to deny the boy the right to fall apart.
"Do you know what it's like, Bonnie? I'm a fucking kid! I deserve at least this one chance to fall apart!" he yelled as he punched the couch.
"Hey, Ken?" I asked softly.
"What?" he yelled so loudly, that I jumped.
"I've got a pair of boxing gloves and a punching bag. Wanna have a go?" I asked.
"What?" he asked in a whisper. "Really?"
"Yeah." I said getting up and walking over to the closet. I took out the punching bag, and I dug around for the big pair of gloves. The ones that I knew fit Kenny's medium sized hands. I handed him the gloves, and I hung the punching bag up by its chain in the middle of the living room on a tiny hook on the ceiling. I stepped back and smiled.
"You beat your shit up until your shirt's soaked in sweat, dude." I said smiling. "I'll go make us breakfast."
The things he had told me. I left the room listening to the sounds of his grunting, and the slap of plastic against plastic as he punched the holy shit out of it. I heard him grunting, and groaning and yelling as he punched. Kenny McCormick was furious. He was throwing a tantrum with the punching bag and digressing to little kid stage. And he had the right to do that. If anyone had the right, it was him. Maybe it was only me who knew how fucked up South Park was. Maybe it was because I knew what Kenny was facing. His immortality, his burdens, his emotions. Because he was right. He had feelings, just like any other person on earth. And he had the right to express them. He was always shoved aside, and he was always let down by the people around him. People always shoved their shit on to Kenny's plate. Because he was so, … him, if that even made sense. I cried silently as I listened to him grunting and fighting as I ran around making breakfast for both of us. I piled Ken's plate up with food, and I quickly set the table. I didn't have the heart or courage to call him into the dining room yet. I waited for a bit longer while he grunted and punched away. Kenny just needed to have a good row with someone, or to have a good cry. Kenny needed to tell someone about his problems, or risk trying anything to kill himself. Although, it wouldn't work very well. I walked past all his bullshit, and I went into my room. It was already seven. Hopefully, I could get him to walk with me to the coffee house. I finally walked out into the living room, and stopped the poor kid. Silently, he took the boxing gloves off, and handed them to me. I took the punching bag down, and I put everything away. I walked into the kitchen with him, and we both sat down.
"You got any juice?" he asked. "Coffee… beer… wine?"
"Nuho, Ken." I said laughing. "You can't go down that way."
"I still feel like total fucking shit." he said in a low voice. "So mother fucking alone."
"That's because you haven't had the time to truly fall apart." I said simply. "Yell, throw down the towel and cry for a bit."
"I don't have time for that now." Kenny said sighing. "It's Saturday, and I have to go see Stan. I'm just looking for a place to be, Bonnie." he moaned. "And you? You have to go to work. Or else I'd totally stay here."
We ate in silence. I really wanted, to cry for the boy. I wanted to tell him to be careful with himself. To be okay.
"You know what Kyle said to me?" he asked in a soft voice. "He said… who wouldn't want my power? To not be able to die. He said that when we were kids. How is it that in that moment he knew all about me, but now he and the rest of the gang don't even remember that I'm Mysterion. Kyle Broflovski is gay for me, and doesn't even know it's me." he said putting down his glass. It was half full of hot chocolate.
"Whoa! Wait, whuat?" I asked confused. "Kyle? He's gay for you? Like… whoa!" I gasped without anything to say. "Whoa, whoa, and just whoa."
"Yeah. The worst part is, ever since I can remember, I've had the biggest crush on him. It's not even a crush, per sae. I've always felt good around him. Like we can always talk, and do all these things together, when Stan and Wendy are doing their own thing." he said as he ate.
"So, why don't you tell him you're Mysterion?" I asked confused. "You know?"
"Because Kyle and I are kind of in a fight." he said sighing. "Or something. I don't even know if it was a fight. He bullshits about not being the weak one, and that he could take care of his own ass. I was just trying to help, because I care about him, and I want him to be okay. I don't know how much you know about us four, Kyle, Stan, Eric and I, but Kyle is the smallest of all of us. Even after all these years, he's not grown into his tall form. And I don't think he ever will. He's a fucking tiny pixie Jew." Kenny said sighing.
"Tell him, then. Find a way to tell him. I think you'll find this is actually a time when you need Kyle the most."
Kenny and I finished eating. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. When I got out, I grabbed my spare cane, and we both walked off. This time, I took Ken's arm, and we both walked briskly through the cold streets. It was still quiet and peaceful.
"I don't know how you're not scared shitless to work at Tweek's." he muttered sighing. "People get more injuries from coffee burns than anything else."
"It's true, dude." I said as I walked.
"Tell me if I'm going too fast, or too slow." he said as we walked on. He sort of clutched his arm closed to him, pressing my hand against his rib. "Your hand is so light." he muttered.
Once in a while, he'd touch my fingers with his other hand. He said it was just to make sure I was still holding on. I felt him reach over and pull his hood up just as a couple of girls walked by.
"Hey, Kenny!" one of them shrieked. "How's things?"
"Fine." he said through his jacket.
"You know, I can never understand what he says when he has that damn hood up." said the girl to me. "Where are you guys off to?"
"Tweek's coffee house." I said slowly. "He would kind of like to be left alone."
"Sorry." she said softly. "See you soon, Ken. Bye. Hope you feel better soon."
"Heaven forbid I feel bad for a long time." Kenny said into his fabric. "The town might just fall prey to crime if Kenny McCormick feels like shit for just a minute." he said sighing. "Gawl!"
"Sorry, babe." I said sighing.
Stan
When I woke up, it was already nine in the morning. The sun was sort of hiding a little bit behind some clouds, but it was light out there. I looked over at my desk lamp, and saw the time. Just as I glanced over at the closet, something orange caught my eye. I gasped.
"Kenny?" I said softly. "That you?"
"Yeah. Hope you don't mind. Shelly let me in." he said sighing. "Your mom and dad?" he asked.
"I dunno. Probably went shopping for food." I said yawning. "Ken, I'm so sorry."
"Why?" he asked as he sat on the chair across me.
"I'm lying here." I said laughing.
It's not that I felt embarrassed. Hell no. Kenny and I were okay to be who we were around each other. You don't know how many times I've invited the kid over, and we've jacked off to porn mags, or X rated television. He was modest about that kind of thing. He didn't mind if you watched him, so I figure why should I? No. I didn't feel embarrassed. I felt something else. Frustration. I'm lying here, and Ken's on the chair not doing anything at all.
"So, you have plans for today? What are you and Wendy up to?" he asked.
"Nothing. She's going to visit Her grandparents. Her mom and dad invited me along, but I said no."
"So," he asked a little hesitantly. "Wanna hang out?"
"Yes." I said sitting up suddenly. "Yes, Kenny, I do!" I said looking him straight in the eyes. "I really, really, do."
"I'll go get the PSP." he said smirking.
"Fuck yeah." I said as he stood.
He took his jacket off and placed it on the chair. He reached into my top desk drawer, and came out with a PSP. He slipped off his shoes and came over to where I was, and climbed into bed beside me.
"You go first, bud." he said simply handing me the game.
Kenny and I lay there for what seemed like hours. It didn't matter to me. I loved spending time with my super best friend. I loved Kenny. Not in that way, he was like a brother to me. But I did love him dearly.
"I told you!" he said as I got killed in the game. "I told you."
There was a knock at my door. We both smiled at each other.
"Ca'min." I said as the door opened.
"Hey, fuck faces." It was Shelly. "You know there's a new game I brought for you, fags. Wanted you to try it out."
"Kay." I said yawning. "What was it?"
"A Mysterion game. Thought you might like it."
"What the hell makes you think we like that purple fag?" Kenny said laughing hard. "We're not teenage girls, Shells. We are boys."
"Kay, well, here. I only got it because there's a lot of blood. And the coon gets killed in it."
In two seconds, Kenny had lunged across the room and grabbed it from her. He took the current game we were playing out, and put that game in. He was laughing evilly.
"We get to kill the Coon!" he yelled.
"See you love birds later."
"Shelly, I'm straight." I said as Kenny laid back down on his spot.
"Yeah. And Kenny's not." she said simply.
"Is it that obvious?" I asked.
"Seen as he whores himself to everyone that moves, yes. And he doesn't deny it, either."
"Are you, ken?" I asked as my sister closed the door.
"Yeah." he said handing me the game. "You play first."
"Since when have you known?" I asked.
"Pre-school." he said laying back as I started up.
The goal of the game was for the player to defeat as much of the villains as you could. There were a thousand levels, each growing tougher than the next. In each level, Mysterion had three lives. So, if you lost all three, you got to do the level all over again. There was a lot of blood and gorey shit in it. Perfect for Kenny.
My mom finally got home with dad. Shelly had been right. We were called down stairs by my mom within forty minutes after their arrival.
"Stanley, it's time for breakfast." she said poking her head in. "Oh, hey, Kenny." she said smiling.
"Hi, Mrs. Marsh." he said smiling back. "How are things?"
"Fine, thank you, dear. How sweet of you to ask." she said coming into the room. "You stay as long as you feel like." she said bending down and kissing him. "See you boys in a while."
"Kay." I said as I clobbered a sniper in the game.
"What have I told you both about playing games with filth like that?" she asked angrily.
"Mom, we're like almost grown." I said sighing.
"You're going to scar yourselves." she said turning to leave.
"I'm already scarred beyond return, Mrs. Marsh. My house is just like that." Ken said laughing as he put his hands behind his head.
When my mom left, I got up handing him the game. He smirked as he took it. I got out of the blankets and started stumbling around looking for a couple pieces of clothing. I didn't rush myself. It was just Kenny. It wasn't like he'd never seen my dick before, or seen my nakedness. He was my best friend.
"Zipper." he reminded as I got ready to head out.
"Thanks." I said laughing as I pulled it up.
I couldn't help running over to him and hugging him. I felt so amazing. He was actually here, with me. Not with Kyle, or anyone else. Me. In the flesh.
"Let's go eat, man. I'm fucking starving."
We ate a good breakfast. Kenny looked like he felt refreshed after that. He looked very content. Or at least for a bit. Shelly seemed to notice more than me.
"Hey, fuck face." she said to Kenny as she walked into my room. "Mom and dad and I are leaving. I'm going over to the gym, and they're going out on a fucking date. Like they're young or something. If you want, you can use my bathtub in my room. Take as long as you want."
"Really Shelly?" he asked looking at her with something like anguish in his eyes.
"Yeah, Kid." she said smiling. "You look like you need it. Not like you stink or anything. You just look like you're under siege or something."
"Thanks, Shelly." he said smiling. "I don't know how to thank you."
"Hurry. I need to have a talk with this fuck face about getting into my car without permission."
Kenny grabbed my comb that was on the desk, and walked slowly out of the room. He turned to look at me with a strange look in his eyes. One of those, you better still be here when I get back looks.
"What'd you do to Ken?" she asked closing the doorl, as we heard her door close.
"Nothing, why?" I asked confused.
"He looks like he went to hell and back." she said sighing. "You better not have plans with your little girlfriend. He looks like he needs you."
"He'll get through it." I said smirking a little.
"Oh, Stan. You are… were, and always will be oblivious to other people's feelings." she said sighing. "I've gotta get going. Make sure Kenny doesn't try to kill himself."
When she left, I walked into her room, and walked into the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet, and looked into the bathtub. Kenny was lying in the water, his head resting on his hands which were behind his neck, and his eyes closed as the bubbles submerged the rest of his body. I smiled at him. I knew he knew I was here, he just didn't open his eyes.
"We could call Social Services, Kenny." I said softly.
"Oh, Stan. You don't get it. It's not easy, man. It's not like you can call them, and be left alone in your house afterward. I go to a foster parent, Karen goes to a foster parent. We both get split up. My family is fucked up in so many different ways, but I can't just call Social Services." he said bitterly.
"Then, stay with us. Stay with Kyle. Don't just go back every time, man." I said sighing.
"Yeah? And while I'm living your perfect little life, who's gonna watch out for Karen? Who's gonna make sure my mom doesn't fall asleep and burn down the house when the lit cigarette she still has in her hand catches fire? Who's gonna make sure we've got food? Stan, I can't just leave. I've got people whose lives depend on me."
"Kenny, it's just, it's hard having a friend like you." I said sadly. "It kind of fucks everything up."
I said the wrong thing.
"Well, Stan? I'm sorry that I'm not rich! Like Kyle. I'm sorry that I'm not smart! Like Wendy. I'm so fucking sorry that I'm not on the football team! Like Token. That I have to be constantly on the alert for any fighting from mom and dad, and that I have to be careful of Karen. I'm sorry." he spat. "I'm sorry my life isn't the sweetest fairy tale, like yours is."
"Look, Kenny, I didn't mean-"
"I just came here looking for a place to be. I'm not with Kyle, because today is Temple, and he isn't allowed to leave his house afterward. And I'm here with you, because you're not doing anything with Wendy." he said sighing. "There is no place I'd rather be, than with one of my two very best friends. But I cannot just leave my home. It's my home, and I protect my sister, and mom and dad. Even though I have never once gotten anything back from them for it, I still love both of them. Even when my dad decides to use me as a punching bag." he said standing up and rising out of the water.
My eyes met the strangest, most terrible sight, in the world. The water dripping off of his body seemed to make his bruises and cuts a little bit more pronounced. I stared. He stretched out his arm, and I saw what looked like.
"Is that a cigarette burn?" I asked as tears filled my eyes. "Kenny?"
"Yeah, Stan." he said meeting my gaze with a pair of very dejected cerulean eyes. "Dad said he had to make a man out of me."
"Why?" I asked as my face fell and my cheeks became wet. "Why don't you just do something, Kenny?" I asked.
"Because of all the shit that I already told you. I belong to them, Stan. In some twisted way, deep… deep… deep… deep down, I know they have to love me. I'm their son. I'm her brother." he said sadly. "Anyway, where was I."
As if nothing had happened, he sank back into the water breaking some of the bubbles. He smiled slyly, and closed his eyes again. He looked like he was really enjoying this.
"I'll be in my room." I said sadly.
I called Kyle. I told him what I'd seen. He sounded horrified when I told him. I couldn't help crying as I sat on my bed. I wished it wasn't Saturday. Why the hell is it that you're not allowed to leave your house again?
"Where's he at now?" Kyle asked sadly.
"He's taking a bath in Shelly's room." I said sighing. "Wait, here he comes. Wanna talk to him?" I asked.
"Yes!" Kyle said frustrated. "Please, Stan."
Kenny came walking in fully dressed, running my comb through his golden hair. I handed him the phone, and he stared. "Just hurry." I said without telling him who it was.
"Hello?" he asked. "Oh, hey." I saw a smirk play over his face. He had a look that said, I know something you don't know. "Don't." he said with a grin. "It's fine, Kyle. Don't worry about it. Naw. Not from you, and not from Stan. You don't have to worry." he said laughing. "You're allowed to do that, Kyle." he said laughing. "Just because it's me, doesn't mean we can't get into a few fights here and there. Kyle, calm down. It's fine. Kay. I'll see you later. I promise not to do that again. Okay, bye. Love you too." he said grinning. "Bye."
He handed me the phone, and I put it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Hey." Kyle said sighing. "Did he leave yet?"
"No." I said laughing. "Poor guy's trying to get his messy hair to stay in place. I thought it was just because of his hood."
"Listen, we have to hang out tomorrow. Okay?" Kyle asked.
"At my place, or yours?" I asked.
"Not at Kenny's place." Kenny said smirking. "That's for sure."
"Tell that fuck toy to shut up." Kyle said angrily. I heard his mom in the back ground shouting for him to watch his language.
"He said to tell that fuck toy to shut up." I said laughing.
I saw a look of complete mortification come over Kenny's face. He looked strange. As if he'd heard the tale of Scroty McBuggerballs all over again.
"I gotta go. Mom's gonna kill me. Bye, Stan. Love you."
"Love you, too, Kyle. See you later." I said laughing.