Chapter 7: The Secret

I finally put Stan's comb down, and sat down beside him on the bed. He put his phone in his pocket, and sighed. I looked over at him.

"You okay? You still wanna vent some more?" he asked.

"Naw. I actually wanna tell you some couple of things." I said sighing. "I kind of need someone else to know besides me."

"Sup?" he asked turning to face me.

"We all know that Kyle's gay." I said simply.

"Yeah, obvious. The way he carries himself." Stan said laughing. "I don't think he knows it yet."

"How do you mean?" I asked confused.

"He doesn't date girls or guys, and he doesn't watch porn. I bet he's never seen a play boy, or a Michael Lucas product either." Stan said smiling. "Probably never even jacked off yet for the first time."

"I'm gay, too." I said simply.

"Yeah. I know."

"How?" I asked.

"Because, man. You gave yourself away to everyone within Kyle's house the day we went over there last." Stan said smiling.

"What?"

"Kenny, you try so fucking hard to not show emotion. To make yourself oblivious to what's going on around you." Stan said sighing. "But it didn't work. I saw the way you held him. I saw the way you looked at him. You looked like you were trying so hard not to get a hard on."

"Oblivious?" I asked confused. "When did such a jock like you learn such a big word like that?" I asked.

"Fuck off, Kenny." Stan said laughing.

"No, but really? I did?" I asked going red.

"Yeah. You did. You totally gave yourself away."

"What happens now? I mean, we all grew up together. Why did I have to get a crush on him? Why? Why not you? You look like a good fuck." I said bluntly.

We laughed really hard without blushing. I didn't feel uncomfortable that I was telling him this. I guess that's how strong our bond is.

"Well?" he asked. "I'm not sure. I don't think there would be a problem. I mean, it's only you. Sheila's always been for her son's happiness, and she'd understand."

"Stan, this is Kyle's mom we're talking about. Anyways, how do I tell him? I mean, it's not like I can just say, "Hey, Kyle. Give me a kiss, and let's fuck."."

"Well, no. He'd run out screaming. Just take it slow. See where things go." Stan said smiling.

I went back to sleep at Bonnie's. Well, not exactly. I made sure I found out where Cartman was staying. According to his mom, he was over in Denver, with two of his cronies. So, Kyle could wait. I needed to sleep. A full night's sleep would do me good. Secretly, so would more venting.

"So?" she asked as we both lay there under the covers. "Do you believe in anything at all?"

"I don't know." I said softly. "I just feel like people should give me a break, you know? Kenny has feelings too, and so does Mysterion. We both deserve to fall apart. We both deserve to break down at least once in a while. Especially since we can't fucking die." I said sadly. "I deserve this. I deserve the right to fall apart, and have someone else take care of shit for me. Like normal teens do. I can't even have a fucking partner, because my life is too fucked up. Why the hell would Kyle Brofflovski want a poor trailer trash whore like me?"

"Why wouldn't he?" she asked sighing.

"Because. I'm the poorest kid in town. Even after all these years. I can't seem to get the hell out of the root that I'm in." I said sighing.

"Oh, Kenny. Just tell him, already." she said smiling.

The time flew by. I actually got a full night's sleep, and didn't feel so bad the next day. I went to my place, and got changed into a different outfit. Karen was nowhere to be found, so I went to Red's place, and found her there. I went as Mysterion, so that I could give the girls the satisfaction of seeing me in the flesh. Lisa got extremely jealous as Karen came into my arms and hugged me. She was smiling so big.

"You came and looked for me!" she said laughing. "You do care!"

"Well, duh." I said in my low voice. "I'm the protector of this whole rat hole of a town you call South Park." I said smiling. "Oh, and I needed to talk with you." I added.

We both made our way into a wooded area two blocks away from Red's place. I sat down with her in my lap. I don't know why, but I had to tell her everything.

"So, what brings us here?" she asked snuggling into me.

"This." I said pulling my hood off.

"Oh, hey, Kenny." Karen said smiling. "I'm glad you sent Mysterion to look for me."

"You mean, you know?" I asked sadly.

"Yeah." Karen said kissing my cheek. "Anyone who doesn't know is just a retard. Who's not gonna recognize a Kenny in a purple blah, blah, and cape?" she asked. "Although, I wouldn't put the underwear over my pants."

"Go home." I said laughing. "So, how come Stan and the others are so oblivious to me?" I asked sadly. "And what else do you know?" I asked sadly.

"That you died a few days ago when you saved Kyle's ass from Cartman and you fell out a window wrong." she said softly. "You know, you're a strong person, Kenny." she said smiling. "I wouldn't be able to deal with it, and you do it so well." she said sadly.

I told her my story. I told her all the things that I told Bonnie. When I was done, Karen and I were both crying. We both clung to each other for dear life.

"I deserve to be able to feel, Karen." I sobbed. "I deserve the right to love someone, and have them love me back. I'm human, just like you. And dad and mom are so fucking stupid like that."

"Kenny, I'm here beside you, though. I love you so much, Ken. You don't know. I would physically be hurt if you left me, and never came back. Kenny, I love you so much, big brother." she said sighing. "I do. You don't know how much."

"Thanks." I said as my tears sort of subsided. "I needed someone to fall apart with. You know? I've been trying to do that for ages, sis." I said sighing.

"Yeah?" she asked. "By the feel of your body, I'd say, you still need to."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You still need to fall apart some more, Kenny." she said sadly. "You're still tense, and you hardly cried. I'm sure you still have a long way to go, Kenny."

Author's Note:

Okay little kitties. Half way through the story. I swear. It'll get better as the chapters rol on. Most of the first seven chapters seemed like filler, but I guess they fit into each other some how. Don't be a lazy Cartman, and REVIEW. Otherwise I might think no one cares about my writing. I may delete this account. SUGGESTIONS! Also, look at my poles. I want votes on this, people.