Dark Saviour

Chapter 19 - Please Talk to Me

….

Undertaker's P.O.V.

God damn it! Why must he be so difficult? He wants help! I know he does! So why won't he ask for it? Why won't he talk me, or even somebody else, about what's going on? I've tried to get him to talk but that man is more stubborn then Glen! Hell, he's even more stubborn then I am! Doesn't he know that no matter who's threatening him, I can kick their asses easily? I'm the scariest person here in the WWE. Sure, people try fucking with me but they never succeed. Hell, even if I wanted to call in some back up, I've got Glen. Everyone, but me, is scared of him. They wouldn't even dare try to fuck with him. They all think he's a psycho and they're not completely wrong there. If we were to team up, no one would stand a chance. If only Jeff would tell me what is going on with him, I could make it all go away.

Flashback

"Are you sure you should be leaving already?" Taker asked as he walked beside the younger Hardy, wheeling Jeff out of the hospital.

"I'm sure," Jeff nodded as he got out of the wheelchair. "Besides, I can't miss the big event."

"But I'm sure Vince would understand."

"No," Jeff shook his head. "I can't miss the Pay-Per View."

"You're hurt, Jeff. You're in no condition to be fighting tomorrow."

"I'll be fine. I'm supposed to lose the match to Hunter anyway."

"Exactly. You're supposed to lose anyway. So why not have the match changed so that some guy ambushes you and you end up too injured to fight. Somebody else can take your place in the ring tomorrow," Taker said, looking over at Jeff, his concern evident. "Maybe the guy who attacked you. It would make sense, they take you out so that they can get in."

"And what would that say about me?" Jeff asked, turning to face the Deadman. "I've gone into plenty of matches in worse condition then this. If I back out now . . ." he sighed.

"It wouldn't damage your reputation. You'd still be the daredevil of the WWE."

"No, I wouldn't be. I would lose what little respect I have left from the other Superstars and I'd lose some of the fan's respect," Jeff explained, shaking his head. "They know as well as I do that a little scuffle like that wouldn't take me out of action."

"But it doesn't have to be a little scuffle. It could be big one. You could get attacked with a . . . a crowbar."

"A crowbar?" Jeff raised an eyebrow at Taker.

Undertaker shrugged as he shook his head. He couldn't believe that those words had come from his lips. "It was the first thing I thought of," he muttered sheepishly.

"Mark, listen. I know you mean well, but I just can't do it," Jeff looked directly into Taker's eyes. "Would you do it?"

"Would I do what?"

"If you were in my place, would you just quit? Would you find someone to replace you in a main event match? At a Pay-Per View?"

"No."

"Then don't ask me to," Jeff replied. "I can't let him win."

"Who is he, Jeff?" Taker asked, nearly begging the younger man to tell him something, anything. "Whose the guy that has you so scared?"

Jeff shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Mark. All that matters is that I won't be broken."

"News flash, Jeff. You were broken or did you not notice the stitches?"

"I noticed them," Jeff replied bitterly. "But that's only skin. They will heal."

"The trauma won't," Taker retorted. "The nightmare won't."

"I'll be fine."

"How do you know that?" Taker asked, grabbing hold of Jeff's arm to prevent the man from turning away. "How do I know that I won't find you beaten up like that again? Or worse?"

"You just have to trust me," Jeff answered, his eyes pleading with the Deadman to stop.

"I just don't want to see you hurt any more," Undertaker replied, letting go of Jeff's arm and backing away. He wasn't willing to push the kid any further and risk losing him completely.

"You don't have to worry about me," Jeff replied, looking at the Deadman sympathetically. "I have a big brother who does enough worrying. I don't need you to worry too."

"But . . ."

"But nothing," Jeff interrupted softly. "I don't need you to try and be Matt."

"I don't want to be Matt," Undertaker muttered, not wanting to dwell on where his thoughts were going at that particular moment.

"Then stop worrying. I can handle it."

"And we see how well that's going," Taker snapped a little more bitterly then he had intended.

"It would be going just fine if people stayed out of it."

"Come on, Jeff. Tell me what the fuck is going on! You can't handle this by yourself!"

"Yes I can!" Jeff snapped, getting angry. "I'm not a kid!"

"I didn't say that."

"You were implying it."

"I didn't mean to imply it. I just meant that this is too big for any one person to handle on their own," Undertaker said, trying to mend his words. "I want to help you."

"You can help by staying out of it."

"You know I can't."

"Then maybe I'll just get my own room," Jeff snapped, flinching a little at the hurt he saw flash in the Deadman's eyes.

Undertaker stopped dead in his tracks as Jeff's words washed over him. "What?"

"If you can't stay out of it then I will find my own place to stay and force you to step out," Jeff said, nearly choking on his words as his fear grew. He really didn't want it to come to that.

"Don't do that," Taker pleaded. He knew the second Jeff was out of his room, away from him, that things would only get worse for the man.

"Then just drop it and don't ever bring this up again to anyone. Not to Vince. Not to Matt. Not to anyone."

"And what do I tell people when they ask me what happened to you?"

"Just tell them the truth. You don't know. I wouldn't tell you."

"Like they'd believe that," Taker muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Undertaker said quickly. He didn't need to tell Jeff about the rumours or the confrontation he had with Edge the night he was attacked. He knew Jeff didn't need the added stress right now.

"Bull shit," Jeff spat.

"It was honestly nothing. I just that, I don't like the fact that I'm having to continuously lie for you."

"You're not lying this time. You're telling the truth."

"I guess," Taker replied, his gaze cast downward.

"Don't worry about it," Jeff said, smiling as he lifted Undertaker's chin so that he was looking at the young man. "I'll be fine."

End of Flashback.

But I can't help it. I do worry about him. I don't know why but I do. And that scares me as much as I'm scared of finding Jeff beaten again. I don't completely understand what the emotions are that I'm feeling and I don't really know if I want to find out.

Damn it all! I don't want to push him away; I don't want to leave him defenseless, but after we had that conversation, I have done as he's asked and dropped it. I stopped asking him questions about where the bruises are coming from or the late nights he's been having. I'm just glad that Jeff still hasn't caught wind that people think it's me that's causing the bruises. If he knew that . . . I don't know what he would do?

It's been a couple weeks since that horrible night when I had to take him to the hospital and the whispers are getting louder. I've assured Matt when he's called me about it, that they are only rumors and that Jeff is really okay. It nearly breaks my heart when I hear the relief in Matt's voice. He's worried about his baby brother. He fears for him and I hate having to tell him that everything is okay. But Jeff's fear is growing into my own. I don't want him to get hurt because of me, because of something I said.

I've noticed that he's been taking a lot of painkillers lately though. He assures me that it is only at night and that he doesn't take any during the day. In all honesty, I'm not sure that I believe him. I can't watch him 24/7 nor, considering the rumors, can I go around asking people if Jeff is taking them during the day. I just have to trust him that he's telling me the truth. Damn it! I hate having to trust people. They usually stab me in the back the first chance they get and then I have to hurt them for it. And the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt Jeff. I don't even think I could hurt him. He's burrowed to deep in my . . . I'm not even going to go there.

I wish I knew why he's started acting so strangely. He seems so alert, yet out of it at the same time. I've never seen anything like it. I think he's just about ready to have a mental breakdown. He's out late every night and the bruises seem to be only getting worse and those are the ones I can see. I can only imagine at how bad the ones he's able to easily hide are. Thankfully I haven't seen any cuts decorating his flesh though. That is, again, none on the flesh I can easily see. However, I swear that I do hear him crying every night when he thinks I'm asleep. He thinks he's alone, but he's not. I just hope that he realizes that before it's too late.

….

Undertaker stood outside the hotel room door, unsure if he should enter. He could hear faint sobs coming from inside and he was afraid of what would be revealed upon opening the door. He was torn between his need to protect the smaller man and his promise to stay out of his affairs. The two emotions warred deep within him to the point that he almost felt sick. Sighing, his mind made up, Taker knocked softly on the door before walking into the room. He barely glimpsed Jeff standing up quickly before he turned his back to the door, returning to the task he had been doing before his emotions got the better of him. Taker frowned as his gaze fell to the open bag on the bed.

"What's that for?"

"Nothing," Jeff replied as he tried to regain control of himself.

"Jeff, what's wrong?" Undertaker asked, placing one hand on the younger Hardy's shoulder.

"Nothing."

"You can tell me," Taker replied. "You know I won't say anything."

Jeff sighed then as he turned to look at the Deadman. Taker could see the glistening trails that the tears had left behind on his cheeks. Undertaker sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to him.

"Tell me what's happened."

Jeff stared at the Deadman for a few seconds before sitting next to him. "I'm leaving."

"Why?" Taker asked, a frown appearing on his face.

"Because I . . ." Jeff stopped, his courage failing him.

"What happened?"

Jeff shook his head as he took a deep breath. " I failed the drug test."

"What?" Undertaker asked, staring dumbfounded at Jeff. "Did you take something before the test or . . . something?"

"Or something," Jeff muttered, staring down at his hands.

"What's going on here, Jeff? What's really going on?"

"I failed the test," Jeff answered honestly, not meeting Taker's piercing gaze. "Really."

"But how?"

"I was taking them more then I was telling you," Jeff muttered, still not meeting Taker's gaze as he felt a stray tear fall down his cheek.

"But why?" Taker gently brushed the tear from Jeff's face before he realized what he was doing. Unsure of what else to do, he brushed a loose strand of hair behind Jeff's ear before letting hand fall back to down onto the bed.

"It was the only way."

"The only way for what?"

"For me to cope," Jeff admitted.

"Cope with what?" Taker asked, trying to fully understand what was happening.

"The bruises . . . him . . . my feelings . . ." Jeff trailed off, running his fingers through his hair, silently missing the warmth of Undertaker's fingers on his skin.

"Your feelings for what?" Taker asked, confused.

Before Jeff could answer, there was a knock on the door. Undertaker glared at the door while Jeff said a silent prayer for the disturbance.

I can't believe I almost admitted that . . . Jeff thought before he called out, "Come in."

A small man opened the door slowly as he looked nervously between the two men on the bed. The man's tongue twisted into knots as he looked at the scowl on the Deadman's face.

"I'm . . . I'm sorry to . . . to interrupt . . ." the man stuttered.

"What do you want?" Taker asked, trying hard not to snap at the man even though a part of him wanted to strangler the newcomer for disturbing them.

"I was sent up by Mr. McMahon," the little man answered. "I was told to . . . to come up and . . . and tell Mr. Hardy that he . . . he has to leave now."

"I thought I had until tomorrow," Jeff said, his own brow furrowing.

The little man shook his head. "He wants you gone now."

"Give us a few minutes," Taker replied, trying to suppress the growl that was growing in the back of his throat.

"I . . . I can't. I have to . . . to escort Mr. Hardy out . . ." he paused before adding, "Now."

Jeff sighed, but nodded reluctantly. "Okay," he said as he got up and closed the bag.

"Wait, Jeff!" Taker said, getting up quickly to stop the younger man from leaving.

"I've got to go," Jeff smiled. "I'll be back in two months."

"But . . ."

Jeff shook his head. "Have fun at WrestleMania, Mark," Jeff said, patting the Deadman on the arm before following the little man out the door.

Taker stood where he was for a few minutes, not believing what he had heard. Jeff was gone for substance abuse.

And if that idiot hadn't interrupted . . . Taker thought bitterly as he closed his eyes in frustration. Jeff had nearly opened up to him. He had nearly told the Deadman what was going on. Damn it!

Undertaker wanted to destroy something, to scream, to do anything that would release his frustration.

"But at least this will get him away from whoever is attacking him," Taker muttered bitterly as he looked around him at what now felt like an empty room.

He slowly made his way to his bed and lay down, letting the silence take over. Taker tossed and turned, the silence becoming too complete, too suffocating. Undertaker had never before minded the silence. In all actuality, he had always preferred silence to noise.

But now . . .

Taker didn't finish that thought. Closing his eyes, he tried to overcome the strange feeling of loneliness that wanted to consume him. Thankfully, he was distracted when someone knocked on the door. As Undertaker got up to answer it, he hated the emotions and thoughts that swam through him. He couldn't believe that he was even slightly hoping that he would find Jeff on the other side of the door.

Trying to hide behind his Deadman persona, Taker opened the door with a coldness he didn't feel, only to feel the small shred of hope he had felt die as he stared into the bright blue eyes of Edge.

Damn it all! Why was I even hoping that he would be back? I knew he wouldn't have been able to come so quickly. Taker growled bitterly, more at his annoyance with himself then Edge.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I just wanted to congratulate you."

"Congratulate me for what?"

"For driving Jeff to drugs once again," Edge replied, clapping sarcastically. "Bravo."

"I didn't drive him to drugs."

"Oh? Then who was it?"

"I don't know."

"Bullshit! We all know it was you, Mark. You are the one who drove him to drugs again. You're the reason he was so battered before the elimination match at No Way Out," Edge snapped, glaring at Undertaker. "He was doing so well and then you had to enter his life."

"I didn't do a fucking thing."

"Sure you didn't," Edge retorted, rolling his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Everyone knows that you didn't do anything," Edge replied sarcastically. "Except attack yet another innocent."

"Damn it, Adam! I'm not in the mood for this! I don't need this right now!"

"And Jeff did?"

"What?"

"Did Jeff need all of this, all of the drugs and abuse? Did he deserve it? Like I said before, he was doing great," Edge replied. "But ever since you entered the picture, his life's been going to shit."

"I've been trying to make sure it didn't go to shit."

"Sure you have."

"I have!" Taker snapped. "I've been trying to figure out who would want to hurt him! To put him in the hospital!" he continued, trying desperately not to let his emotions get the better of him. He could still see Jeff laying there, covered in his own blood. He could still see Jeff lying in the hospital bed, looking so helpless.

"What?" Edge exclaimed. "You put him into the hospital?"

"I didn't put him in the hospital!" Taker yelled in frustration. "Haven't you been listening?"

"Yeah, I have," Edge retorted. "I just know that you're the one behind it. I'm not an idiot."

"If you still think that I could hurt Jeff then you are an idiot!"

"Trust me. I'd be an idiot if I believed you."

Taker had to restrain himself from hitting Edge. The younger man was getting increasingly annoying and it took all of Undertaker's willpower not to lay the kid out. "Get the fuck out of here."

"Or what?"

"Get the fuck out," Taker growled. "Or I will make the rumors true and actually put someone in the hospital."

"You better watch it," Edge growled back. "Don't forget who you're dealing with."

"I'm not," Taker replied, glaring at Edge. "But I'm not going to stand here and listen to you while you accuse me of hurting Jeff. I'm not capable of that."

"Oh, you're not, eh?" Edge replied bitterly.

"No, I'm not. I may have to portray a cold-hearted demon on SmackDown," Taker paused, trying to get himself under control. "But I would never hurt Jeff."

"Why?"

"Because I respect him," Undertaker replied, even as he realized that it was a lot more complicated than that. "That's why."

"You make me laugh," Edge chuckled bitterly.

"That wasn't my intent."

"Well, no matter what your intent is, I'm going to make mine crystal clear," Edge replied, standing toe to toe with Taker. "You may win at WrestleMania, but I will end your career after that."

"This isn't a promo. There are no camera's here, Adam."

"No, it's not. I'm merely making a promise. I will make you pay dearly for ruining Jeff's career."

"I would never ruin Jeff's career!"

"Then why did you beat him?" Edge demanded. "Why did you drive him to drugs again?"

"I didn't!" Taker yelled. "I would rather end my career in disgrace then hurt him."

"So be it."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Edge replied, continuing to smile. "I'm just going to make sure your wish comes true."

My wish? Taker thought, a frown appearing on his face. Edge merely shook his head at Undertaker and left the Deadman to ponder his fate.

….

Undertaker's P.O.V.

Maybe it's a good thing that Jeff's gone. Maybe now the rumors will finally stop. (Sigh) And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to figure out what's been happening to him and why Adam is still accusing me of doing it. I mean, yeah, we're not the best of friends, but I've never done anything to make him believe that I'm capable of something like that, have I?

I just don't know anymore. What the hell am I supposed to do? Do I go and tell Matt that something is going on with Jeff, that someone is beating him up and that people are accusing me of doing it? What the hell am I thinking? Of course I can't do that! He's already suspected me once. What's stopping him from suspecting me again? Nothing, that's what!

Damn it all. John's got me backed into a corner. No matter what I do, I will end up hurting someone, namely Jeff. He doesn't want his brother to know that someone is hurting him. He doesn't want to appear weak again even though I have never once seen him weak.

(Sigh) I just wish I had more time to talk to him, time to figure out what he meant. I'm almost 99.9 percent sure that the 'him' is John. Who else could it be? But what did Jeff mean by feelings? What sort of feelings could he be having that he'd have to use drugs to cope with them? He's not having feelings for me, is he? No, that's preposterous. He would never have feelings for me. Maybe there's a Diva that he likes. Maybe that's why John's going after Jeff. He likes the same Diva and he's trying to get rid of Jeff so he can be alone with her. That's got to be it. He's not gay. He may occasionally seem like he is, but he's not. I mean, he did have a girlfriend. But then again, I did have a wife.

No, I've got to stop thinking like that. Besides, if John was attacking Jeff because of somebody they both liked, that somebody wouldn't be me. Wait? Maybe it's about Jericho? Maybe they're fighting over him, assuming that is, that they are both gay. There have been the rumors that John and Jericho were together but you can never trust rumors. I mean, look at the ones flying around now. But it could be the piece of the puzzle that I'm missing. That could be the reason why the rumors are flying around so easily right now. People know that Jeff is gay and are just assuming that I am too.

Nah, that's just bullshit talking. Things are never that simple, are they? Ah, it doesn't matter. As long as Jeff never hears the rumor that I'm the one behind everything, he may just end up okay. This could be the vacation he needs to regroup. He just needs to get away from that asshole and rest up so that when he comes back, he will be the same old enigma he always was, I hope.

….

A/N: There, now we have a glimpse into Taker's mind. But even I have to wonder, will the suspension help Jeff, or will it just make everything worse? Stay tuned to find out.