The Potters: Basically A Sitcom

Written by: Adventure-Seeking-Juliet

When: After dinner, with music assisting me. :)

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. Not a thing, I swear it.

A/N So, I have finally written Chapter 3, I was in a bit of a writing slum there for a while, but I'm back and as are The Potters (And Weasleys of course!) Thanks to ImTotallyNotNamedMolly, jedigal125, ilyjamespotter, ilovenat1995, and xxjhopsterxx for your fantastic reviews! I hope all of my readers continue to enjoy and review (hint hint ;) this story.

Chapter 3- The Epic Seating Arrangements of Death

I was sure I was about to die. No joke.

...

Okay, well, maybe I am joking, a bit.

But you'd feel the same way if your father had just told you that you were to sit in a potentially hazardous seat that could possibly result in serious injury to your health. (And by 'serious injury to your health', I mean death, just so you know.)

A slow, painful, devastating, torturous...( insert never ending terrifying adjectives here) death.

Only one thing can possibly be deemed this dangerous: The seat in between Molly and Luci.

I mean seriously, if you even talk about it, everyone shudders. It's like that seat is the new Voldy the Moldy, especially when we call it the-you-know-what seat or the seat-that-must-not-be-named.

Although I don't get it really. What do they think the seat's going to do if you say its name? Kill you? Jump up and scream,"Aveda Kedevra," when you're not looking?

Well...you never know...

Anyway,

So, when my dad told me this, I reacted...well as to be expected.

"Dad," I made sure to lower my voice, if Molly and Luci hear you insulting them...well let's just say it would only make matters worse (much, much worse)," You-er- what I mean to say is-WHY?"

Harry blinked," What's wrong, Al?"

I sighed.

My father, the Chosen One, the ordained defeater of the darkest wizard of all time, Seeker-extraordinaire, Harry Potter, can be an utter dunce. I mean Merlin! Sometimes he's almost as bad as Uncle Ron-

And if you value your life-or well, mine, you will never repeat that in either of their presences.

Unless you fancy me dead that is...then well, I guess you have my permission to join my dad and uncle as they cut out my liver, feed it to a Threstal, bury me in an unmarked grave, and dance on it.

You know, if you have the stomach for that sort of thing.

...

Just kidding! They wouldn't do that...I think.

Of course I did not say all of that out loud, instead I replied," Dad, come on, you know about the-er-"

Finally my mum, who happened to be listening in on the conversation said, rather loudly," For Merlin's sake, Al! Out with it already!"

The five people standing closest to us fell silent at that, so to better hear what we were saying (thank God none of them included Molly and Luci...)

(Or Uncle Percy...now that would be a nightmare!)

My mouth, unfortunately, did not seem to be in sync with my brain, as it kept opening and closing...which I'm pretty sure made me look like a dying fish. Something James and Fred were not slow about informing me of...

Luckily, Teddy seemed to get the gist of what I was trying to explain," What I think Al's trying to say is...the seat between," he lowered his voice at this part, as Uncle Percy had just walked about two steps closer," Molly and Luci is kind of, well I don't mean to be rude, but-"

Victoire, however, was much more blunt than her boyfriend," It's bloody dangerous!"

"Vic!"

Ah, my eldest cousin, the looks of a Veela, and the mouth of a Weasley...I never realized how much I loved her until that moment...

My mum and dad, however, were never the ones to take things like this seriously until the last moment ( I mean honestly, look at their past history)," Don't be silly, Al, the seat is perfectly safe!"

"Yes, son," my dad chimed in," What could it possibly do? It's just a seat."

You know for someone who always complains about how no one ever listened to him when he was my age, dad sure doesn't listen.

"Well, Uncle Harry," Rose started in (Dear Merlin, we'll never get her to shut up now)," I really think you should consider what Al is saying, if you remember, the last person who sat in that seat, Molly's old friend, Evelyn Bones-"

My mum's brow crinkled in confusion," I haven't seen her in a while-"

"That's exactly my point," Rose declared, looking rather proud with herself( of course, on the other side of her, Scorpius was already rolling his eyes)," Evelyn was blasted from her seat when Luci attempted to hex Molly and we-"

Someone cleared their throat behind us, and we all spun around...

And of course, who other than Molly and Luci themselves would be standing there? I really should've been expecting it, with my luck...

"Were you talking about us?" Luci demanded (and I swear I saw her wand hand twitch as she did, too..).

My dad glanced down at his old, battered watch. ( I mean how old is that thing!)

"Look at the time! We're already behind-alright everyone, onto the bus-"

My grandmother nodded along with him," That's right, in you go everybody-don't forget where you're supposed to sit!"

Molly (the mean one, not my grandmother) and Luci shot me a contemptuous look at that, and then filed onto the bus.

Other than that, everyone else seemed to feel sorry for me, in fact I even think I saw Fred and James shake their heads sadly at me before boarding...

And then there were two.

My dad gave me one last, pitying glance," Good luck, son."

Let the horror begin...

A/N Gah, writer's block killed me there for a while, didn't it? And I swear the whole time I kept wanting to call Harry 'The Hero with No Fear,' despite the fact I know that's Anakin Skywalker! I must be losing it...

Anyway, please review!