Okay, sorry about cutting 16 off. The rest of it is posted if you want to go back and read it. The ending was a lot better. So, this is 17. Thank you to my amazing beta for all her help. I want lots of replies you guys.

=x=x=x=x=x=

Blair finished drying the dishes she'd just used to feed a fussier than normal Sebastian late one evening. She closed the cabinet doors and turned off the lights. The apartment was dark but she knew her way back to her room well enough not to need much light as her eyes adjusted to the darkness.

"Blair!"

The young woman jumped in fright as her name was called. That had been Chuck's voice and it hadn't been a moan or groan of her name. It was him calling for her in desperation.

She couldn't bring herself to ignore his call as she went towards his room. She pushed open his door and through the darkness saw him sitting up in bed, "Chuck?

"Blair," he called out into the darkness. He sounded panicked and ashamed. He was praying she hadn't heard his shouts. "What are you doing up?

"Sebastian was hungry," she explained. "He just fell back to sleep."

"Good," he nodded as he crossed his fingers that she'd let go of the reason she'd entered his room in the first place.

"Hey," she came further into his bedroom. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," he told her curtly.

"Chuck, please don't lie to me," Blair said as she came closer.

"Please, just let this go," he requested as she sat down at the edge of his bed. He flipped on the bedside lamp. They both flinched at the light.

"You know me better than that," she replied as she rubbed his shoulder gently.

Chuck couldn't help leaning into her touch. For a moment at least he could pretend that she still shared his bed instead of just the apartment.

"What's going on?"

"Please just let this go," he requested one final time, hoping that she'd just this once allow him to bury his feelings.

"If it was me, would you let it go," Blair asked as her hand trailed up to his chin as their eyes locked.

"Unfortunately no," he sighed, "But I should."

"Scoot down," Blair encouraged him.

"What?"

"Just trust me," Blair told him.

Chuck moved down and then Blair lay back on the space behind him, her legs dangling over the edge. Then she pulled him back by the shoulder and Chuck found his head resting on her stomach and Blair's fingers gently brushing his face.

"Talk," she commanded gently.

Chuck closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "I had a bad dream."

"About me," she concluded.

"Yes," Chuck admitted. "You were there and then you weren't."

"I'm here now," she reminded him. "What happened in the dream?"

"We were just standing there talking in the penthouse about nothing in particular and then there was some kind of flash and you were gone. I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find you," Chuck said hoarsely.

Blair's fingers started to run through his hair in a soothing motion, her nails lightly scratching his scalp, "I'm here. I'm okay."

"That feels good," he sighed in contentment as his eyes closed reflexively.

Blair smiled, "It's supposed to. You need to relax, Chuck. Have you been having these dreams a lot?"

"On and off for the last few weeks. It didn't start until after your mom's funeral. Before then I was too exhausted to dream."

"You should have told me sooner," she responded.

"For what purpose," he replied.

"Because we're trying that whole honesty thing, remember," Blair smiled.

"It's a little embarrassing," Chuck said. "What am I supposed to say, 'Blair, I'm having nightmares'? I'd have felt like I was five."

"That's exactly what you should have said," she responded, "I can't help you if I don't know something is bothering you."

"You do help," Chuck told her. "You help by being at the breakfast table when I wake up each morning and when I get home."

"That's not what I mean," she responded. "If the roles were reversed, you'd be right at my side chasing away those dreams. I want to do that for you."

"Are you willing to do this every night? Because that is what it's going to take," Chuck told her. "Just lay in bed with me, listening to the dreams I have about losing you."

"Lying in bed with you making sure you know that I'm here, safe and sound, and that I intend to stay that way for a very long time because you need to sleep too," Blair corrected his thinking.

"What about those boundaries we have in place? We go at your pace, remember? We sleep in separate beds until you're ready."

"Boundaries about sex, Chuck," Blair reminded him. "There are no boundaries about being there for each other when we need each other. You stayed up holding my hand all night when I found out my mom died. You held me up the day of her funeral and you held onto me all night long that night without even trying to kiss me just because I asked you to stay."

"You'll really stay with me," he realized as his voice filled with amazed gratitude.

"Yes, I'll stay with you," she confirmed as she nudged him to sit up so she could swing her legs onto the bed and curl into his side.

Chuck lay back down and Blair put her hand above his heart, "Turn the light off. I'll still be here."

Chuck fell into a peaceful sleep instantly.

Blair could feel his body relax and smiled. She'd never admit it but she'd missed this.

His rhythmic breathing lulled her to sleep mere moments later.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Blair turned half one way and half the other as she considered the dress she was trying on. She'd already picked out her jewelry and now she was trying to find the right dress to go with it.

She spotted Chuck in the reflection of the mirror as he stood in the doorway smiling at her.

"Amusing yourself, Bass," she asked as she turned around.

"I actually came in to ask for your help," he said holding up his tie. "But watching you twist and turn is very appealing to me."

"Get over here and give me the tie," Blair said as she got on her bed and knelt by the edge so that she was eye level with Chuck. "You look good."

"Thank you," Chuck said. "I'm rather fond of the outfit you've chosen as well."

"That's not what I meant. You've lost that tired look in your eyes that I didn't notice until I caught you having a bad dream," Blair said as she took the tie from him and looped it around his neck.

"Well, I've recently been talking to an amazing sleep therapist," Chuck smiled.

"Really?"

"Yes and she's helped me more than I could ever begin to thank her for," Chuck said catching her eye.

Blair smiled as she finished with Chuck's tie, "You're welcome. I'm glad it's working."

Chuck caught her hands before she moved them away, "I mean it, Blair. You've been amazing these past two weeks."

"And I meant what I said; there are no boundaries about being there for one another. Before we were lovers, Chuck, we were friends. Once upon a time, one led to the other and if and when it does this time, I'm going to make sure we don't lose the friendship part of us."

"So am I," Chuck told her quietly. He turned to look into her full length mirror as he admired her handy work. "Perfect as usual."

"I need just a few more minutes," she told him as she slid off her bed and began twirling in front of the mirror once again.

Chuck watched her for a moment before he saw the nervousness in her eyes.

"You look beautiful," he assured her.

"This is my first high society event since the children were born," she replied with a nervous hitch. "Those horrible gossips will already be judging me for having children out of wedlock. I don't want to give them license to criticize my attire."

"You have nothing to worry about," Chuck whispered in her ear as his hands rested on her hips. "You look amazing and the only thing the gossips will be thinking is that they wished they looked as good as you do."

Blair smiled and leaned her head back to rest against his shoulder, "Be that as it may, I think I'm going to try to find something with a higher neckline."

"Why?"

"So that a certain white line isn't visible," Blair said with a self conscious smile.

He'd been so busy looking at her beautiful reflection that he hadn't seen the top of her surgical scar. "It's nothing to be ashamed of," he whispered into her ear again as he found her hands with his and entwined them together as they settled at her abdomen and he held her close as they stared at her reflection together.

"I just feel like it's the first thing anyone sees when I wear something a little lower cut than normal," Blair admitted.

"It's not what I see," he responded, his voice soft and gentle. "I see the most beautiful and amazing woman with a radiant smile. Anyone that cannot see that isn't worth worrying over."

Blair smiled a little and freed one of her hands to rest on the side of his face, "Thank you."

"I'm going to go kiss the children good night," he told her as he took the hand that was against his face and kissed the inside palm. "Will you be ready in a few minutes?"

"I'm ready now," she nodded as she pulled him with her out of the room and towards their children's bedroom. His assurances were all she needed to boost her confidence.

With a kiss to each cheek for both of their children from each of their parents, they left them in the most trusted care of Dorota as they walked hand in hand towards the elevator.

-d-d-d-d-d-

"Hey," a voice said in Blair's ear as a hand was placed on her shoulder.

"Hi Nate," Blair stated before she turned away from the view of the New York skyline that she'd been enjoying from her place by the floor-to-ceiling windows of the van der Humphrey apartment.

"How'd you know it was me," Nate asked.

"Chuck usually goes for putting his hands on my hips. Besides you've worn the same cologne since we were what, fourteen? It's not that hard to figure out it's you," Blair smiled.

"Do you remember who the first person to give me this cologne was," Nate smiled at her.

"That was another lifetime," Blair said.

"Yes, it was. But it had its moments, didn't it?"

"It did, Nate," Blair assured him. "So, I met Juliet."

"Uh-oh," Nate looked nervous.

"No, I think she's really very pretty and smart and nice."

"Thank you."

"Yes, she's an excellent attempt at making Serena jealous," Blair nailed him with a look.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Blair," Nate stated defensively. "Serena and I had a fight and she decided it's over again. So, it's over."

Blair studied her old friend for a moment and then shook her head, "You are as transparent as this glass, Nate. You brought Juliet here because you knew it would make Serena crazy. So, are you going to tell me what happened?"

"I told you. We had a fight, and she decided it was over. She then proceeded to lock the adjoining door."

"Nate," Blair raised an eyebrow.

"We slept together a few months ago but Serena has been acting a little skittish about the whole couple thing since we got back to the city. I'm not going to put my life on hold while she works through her issues."

"You know Serena. You just have to ride out her fear and it will," Blair stopped talking as the meaning of Nate's words hit her. She then eyed her old boyfriend in abject horror. "Wait a minute. A few months ago Serena was sleeping in my bed. You didn't-tell me you didn't have sex in my bed, Nate."

Nate had that deer caught in the headlights look on his face, "We washed the sheets, I swear."

"Oh God," Blair groaned. "You're going to do more than that, Archibald. You're buying me a new bed. What the hell is wrong with you?

"It was a onetime thing. What is the big deal?"

"The big deal? The big deal is that first of all you brought your ex-girlfriend to a party at Serena's mother's home to make Serena jealous, which is so high school. Second of all you had sex in my bed with my best friend. And third, you ate all the eggplant last night." She doesn't give him a chance to interrupt as she continues to rail on him, "Have you ever heard of boundaries, Nate? God, that's like me and Chuck going at it between your sheets…" Blair trailed off when she remembers that very thing happened one night nearly a year earlier when she and Chuck had been in one of their moods.

"Blair, calm down," Nate said. "We're in public."

"What's going on over here," Chuck asked as he arrived at Blair's side after hearing her raised voice.

"He had sex in my bed," Blair explained.

"With Dorota," Chuck asked in confusion. "That's a little extreme for me, but I guess that Polish accent could be a turn on . . . if you're into that."

"No, not with Dorota. He had sex in my bed with Serena while I was in the hospital."

"You were awake," Nate pointed out.

"So, what was it? A celebration roll in the hay?"

"We just needed something familiar and comforting."

"But in my bed?"

"It was the only one in the house."

"Oh my God. You had to tell me this now? I can't drink because of my medication."

"Perhaps you should up the dose, Beautiful," Chuck suggested.

"Chuck, don't help me," Nate said with an eye roll.

"I am going to go talk to Lily because at least I know she's never had sex in my bed," Blair said before she walked away.

"I'm buying her a new bed, aren't I," Nate asked.

"Yes, you are, because if you don't, Blair might kill you," Chuck patted his friend on the shoulder.

-d-d-d-d-d-d-

"Hi Lily," Blair greeted the older woman after waiting for a couple to take their leave.

"Blair," Lily wrapped her up in a hug. "I am so glad you found me. I was afraid with all the people I wouldn't get a chance to talk to you tonight."

Blair spotted Rufus over Lily's shoulder. He was sitting at the bar staring at a drink in front of him. She put a smile on her face because Lily pulled back, "I wouldn't have gone the whole night without seeing you. Of course I have to thank you for throwing this fundraiser in my mom's honor. Cyrus wanted me to pass along his thanks as well. I talked to him this morning and he said he'll be sending over a check in the next day or two."

"Next time you talk to him, let him know how much we all miss him."

"I will," Blair nodded and her eyes bounced off of Rufus for a moment before she gave her attention to Lily again.

"Now, I know the twins are young and that you probably don't want to let them out of your sight for very long but I would dearly love a chance to practice being a grandmother, so I was wondering if I could keep them over for a night."

"You know Lily, these are lovely glasses. But I thought you usually used the ones your mom gave you for parties," Blair said with a tilt of her head. "I always loved that set."

Lily looked at Blair in confusion. The change of subject seemed to come from nowhere. She was asking for a night with her grandchildren and Blair was talking about the crystal.

"Blair, did you hear what I said," Lily asked.

"I did," Blair nodded. "I'm just wondering why you aren't using the glasses you've used for every party you've ever thrown since I can remember. Did they break or something?"

"A few have been broken recently," Lily admitted. Blair's sympathetic nod told her that she was more informed than she was letting on. Lily changed her gaze and her eyes landed on her youngest, who was looking at them curiously. That's when it fell into place. She looked back at Blair, "You've been talking to Eric, haven't you?"

"He comes over to see his niece and nephew at least two or three times a week. We talk about things. I think he's leaning towards Brown for college. He's amazing with kids, Lily. Given the chance, I think he'll make an excellent father one day."

"But he told you about Rufus," Lily pressed.

"He did," Blair nodded. "And Lily, I love you, and I'll never deny you the chance to know your grandchildren, but surely you can see things from my perspective. I do not want to put my children into a situation that might harm them."

"Rufus would never hurt your children," Lily told her quickly.

"Are you sure about that?" Blair bit her lip as she responded.

"Intentionally, he would never hurt them," Lily shook her head.

"But there is always unintentionally," Blair reminded her. "Get him to see someone, Lily. Because if the day ever comes that Eric shows up on our doorstep with a black eye or bleeding, there is nothing that will stop Chuck from ripping Rufus apart and you know that."

"He's grieving," Lily stated defensively. "He lost his daughter after basically banishing her from his life. He's angry. It will pass."

"I pray to God that I will never be in his position but Lily, it's not just you in this house. You have a son who needs protecting. We're all grieving for someone right now, but we're not all lashing out. If you love Rufus as we all know you do, you need to get him to see that his outbursts are not acceptable and he needs help."

Lily forced a smile when she saw Chuck heading towards them, "Hello Charles."

"Everything okay," Chuck asked putting an arm around Blair's waist, his hand on her hip.

"Yes," Blair said, leaning against him. "I was just admiring Lily's taste in stemware. She had to replace a few of her old glasses. They broke recently."

"Are you sure that's all?" Chuck pressed, "Your faces are far too serious to be discussing stemware."

"We're fine," Lily assured him. "I'd like to visit sometime soon and spend some time with my grandchildren. Eric tells me they're amazing."

"Beyond amazing," Chuck smiled widely as the proud father in him came out in full force. It was the greatest joy of his day when he returned home from the office to be greeted by their adorable faces, no matter the mood they were in.

"Lily, why don't you call me tomorrow, and we'll set up a time for you to come over," Blair suggested.

"That's a wonderful idea," Lily nodded. "If you'll excuse me, I've neglected my hostessing duties for far too long."

Chuck watched her walk away and then turned to Blair, "What's going on?"

"Nothing that you need to worry about right now," Blair assured him. "And it's not my place to say anything, okay?"

"If it gets to a place where you can, please tell me," he demanded gently as he kissed her cheek softly.

"I will," Blair nodded. "But while we're talking and alone for the time being, there is something I wanted to discuss with you."

"What is it?"

"Godparents for Sabrina and Sebastian," she said.

"I thought that would be fairly obvious - Serena and Nathaniel," Chuck replied.

"Yes, but there are two children," Blair pointed out. "I also wanted to split them up. Make Serena Sebastian's godmother and Nate Sabrina's godfather."

"I'll agree to that," he nodded, "It will be a big help having a godfather that will agree with my train of thought when it comes to Sabrina's dating habits or at least one that can be easily manipulated to my way of thinking."

"Eric's not just your brother, he's been mine since Serena and I were six so I think he'd be an excellent godfather to our son," Blair continued with a roll of her eyes.

"And a godmother for Sebastian . . ." Chuck prompted her.

"That's where I get stuck. Seriously, would it have been that hard for one of our fathers to knock someone up and give us a sister besides Serena," Blair looked exasperated. "I thought about Lily but she's got the grandma job already."

"Perhaps the godmother that served me well though I never knew it - Anne," Chuck suggested as he watched Anne and Lily chat politely.

"That crossed my mind too," Blair admitted. "But I don't know if she'd say yes."

"What makes you say that?"

"Serena let it slip that her fight with Nate started over Anne's non-involvement in your life after Evelyn died."

"Perhaps this could be her way to make amends," he suggested.

Blair nodded and looked over at the two other women, "If she says no do you have any objections to Dorota?"

"I have no objections whatsoever," he smiled. "She's actually a perfect first choice. Perhaps we should save Anne for the fall back."

Blair smiled back at him and then caught Eric's eye and waved before she looked at Chuck, "Speaking of Eric, how are you two doing lately? I know you've been taking him home after dinner all week. Is it just to make sure he gets there safely or do you two actually have a conversation?"

"Small talk mostly," he replied, "But he did mention that he's having a tough time with Jenny's death. We were pretty rough on her when she was sent back to Hudson."

"Why don't you two do something together next week," Blair suggested. "Do that brotherly bonding stuff you guys were so good at when Bart and Lily first got married."

"I'll mention it to him to see if he's interested," Chuck nodded, "But a night away from you and the children would be difficult."

"Well, not having me and the children around is kind of the point. Take him to dinner or to a strip club or something."

"You want me to take Eric to a strip club?"

"Yes, the kind where the dancers are male because then I don't have to worry about you catching something when some floozy rubs against you."

"I suppose it wouldn't be the first time Chuck Bass made an appearance in a male strip club. Should give Gossip Girl a juicy tidbit to munch on for awhile."

"You're very amusing," Blair told him.

"Yes, I know. So, have you called home yet to check on the twins?"

"Twice," Blair admitted. "I think I'm showing remarkable restraint. Although, Dorota yelled at me in Polish because I woke Ana up."

"She yelled at me in both Polish and English as I woke up all three the last time I called," he chuckled "I didn't know she knew that many English curse words, and I think Vanya has been teaching her a few in Russian."

"And how many times have you called?"

"Three," he admitted sheepishly.

"I thought we weren't going to do this," Blair groaned. "We weren't going to be crazy, obsessive parents."

"I think we need to face the truth, Beautiful. Crazy and obsessive is who we are. We might as well embrace it."

"At least we know we can trust our sitter," Blair said.

"She already raised one amazing daughter," Chuck smiled at her as he rubbed her bare shoulder softly.

Blair blushed at his compliment.

"Would you like to dance, Beautiful?" he held out his hand expectantly.

"I would love to," Blair smiled, taking his hand.