Penny sighed and put her head in her hands. Captain Hammer was not a bad man, just. . .stupid. And needlessly cruel. Countless time she had watched him beat, maim, and injure Dr. Horrible when the villain was clearly already beaten. She was grateful, very much so, for what he had done for her in helping her open the homeless shelter; but gratefulness could only go so far. The grand opening was in two weeks, and he clearly expected something in exchange for what he had done for her. Penny rolled her eyes, all the jokes about "the Hammer" flowing through her head. She didn't think she'd ever heard so many innuendoes before in such a short time. Kind, gentle, and caring were all words she would use to describe herself, and dumb was not something she would call herself. She could tell he wanted sex.

But she didn't. She wanted to wait until that perfect moment on her wedding night, when her husband would smile at her, blue eyes gentle and loving, and murmur sweet nothings – "Hi, Penny!" A passing homeless girl grinned at her, familiar gold hair bouncing around her face, and her greeting snapped Penny out of her reverie. They talked for a little bit, and then Captain Hammer strode in and looked around for her, spotting her and walking over.

"Hello, pretty redhead." He grinned what many would call a winning smile, but all she could see was sleaze in his eyes. "Hello, young child." He turned the smile upon the young girl and it became a grimace. Then he turned back to her and the smile became easier. "How about we go out for a night on the town, gorgeous?" The Captain winked, and it was comical, mostly because he had to work at not shutting both eyes.

"I'm. . .well, I suppose, but -" he cut her off before she could finish most of her sentence.

"That's great! I know a place that fixes steaks as thick as the Hammer, and almost as tasty!" Another wink, followed by a leer. She shivered and stood, speaking as she hugged Eliza goodbye.

"I'm vegetarian, remember?" Penny mussed the golden curls of the small girl and waved goodbye to the blind man serving soup. What an odd moustache. . .

"Right, that means you don't like vegetables. Neither do I!" He beamed at her.

~the Sing-a-long Blog~

She picked at the steak sitting on her plate, and all she could see was the huge brown eyes of the cow that had been murdered for this. What cruelty, what barbarism . . . she glanced across the table at Captain Hammer (why didn't she know his name?) and saw that he was on his seventh steak. On the house, of course. She had managed to eat the vegetables that came with the steak, but now she was faced with the dilemma of what to do with this poor murdered animal. "Hey, are you gonna eat that?" Captain Hammer asked, his mouth full of death. She looked down at her plate and opened her mouth to speak. Then she closed it. And opened it again.

"No. No, I'm not." She pushed her chair away from the table and stood up. "I'm vegetarian, which means I only eat vegetables, not that I don't eat them. You're eating murder, and you're haven't looked at my face once since you saw me today. I'm disappointed in you – at first I thought you were cheesy, and then I thought you were sweet, and now. . .now, you're just sleazy. I . . ." She gulped. She'd never broken up with anyone before. "I don't want to be your girlfriend. You're uncaring, you're arrogant, and. . .you're mean. Goodbye."

Then Penny turned and marched out of the quaint little restaurant, and thirteen people uploaded videos to YouTube.

~the Sing-a-long Blog~

CAPTAIN HEARTBROKEN: MISUNDERSTANDING OR MISS DEMANDING?

In a fiasco last night, Captain Hammer's girlfriend broke up with him. She called him bad names and told him she was a vegetarian, something the Captain claims she never told him. A fan of the Hammer that was in the restaurant tells us that "she was very angry, very demanding, he asked if she enjoyed her food and she blew up at him. I'd never treat the one and only Captain Hammer like that." The ex-girlfriend also claimed that he sexually objectified her, to which the Captain responds that he does not know what "objectified" means. Is this just a bump on the course to true love? Or is this for good?

Billy read the paper with amazement and a huge grin. At the end, he laughed and shot his fist into the air. "Yes! Take that, Corporate Tool! Way to go, Penny!"

~the Sing-a-long Blog~

Penny sat on the washer, idly swinging her legs and staring into her frozen yogurt. She had just come in and was waiting for Billy before she started her laundry. A pretty dark green bra lay on top of her clothes today, and she wanted to see how red Billy would turn when he saw it. Then the door 'ding'ed, and she turned, a smile blossoming across her face as she saw the slight, tall boy. "Hi Billy-buddy."

"H-hi, P-penny." He stuttered, wincing at how silly he sounded. "How are you?"

"Better than ever." She grinned at him and jumped off the machine, grabbing her basket and setting it atop the washer. It only took him a few seconds to notice what sat at the top, and he turned a red to rival her hair, blue eyes huge and round. After he recovered, they went about their laundry and eventually wound up sitting on top of the washers again, eating their yogurt.

"So, I, uh, heard you broke up with cheesy-on-the-outside. . ." Billy trailed off, not certain where to go from there.

"Mmmhm." She hummed as she spooned strawberry frozen yogurt into her mouth. "He was a pie. You were right." Penny shook her spoon at him laughingly. "I'll listen better next – oops!" The spoon fell out of her hand and onto the floor, so she slid down once more to grab it. . .and noticed the washer across from them held a plethora of brown t-shirts with a hammer symbol in the middle. She blinked and stared. . .and then tugged the washer door open and dumped the remainder of her frozen yogurt inside. Once she closed the door, it went back to spin cycle, and she cackled maniacally. Billy stared, eyes wide with wonder at what had just happened, as she clambered back onto her washer and smiled again. "Where were we. . .?"