AN: Okay, this isn't just a roll anymore. This is freaking brilliance. I give you chapter 9. Or whatever we're on now. Anyway, here ya go. Read on.
(Randy)
Cody explained everything to us. He had heard Jess walk into the locker room, and was about to ask her to leave when he suddenly heard Dave tell her to keep something their little secret.
"He asked her if it hurt," he explained.
"If what hurt?" Paul asked.
"I peeked around the corner and saw he was grabbing her arm." He laughed a little. "Then he says 'I dunno, does this?' And then she pulls back her arm and slams him, right in the jaw. Well, that's when he hit her back. Ted musta been watching from the doorway, because at the same time we ran in. She had been sent flying backwards. I tackled Dave, and Ted went to make sure she was ok. We started yelling, and I guess that's when you three walked in."
"What did he put in Randy's bag?" Vince asked. Cody shrugged.
"Looked like some pills. If I had to guess, I'd say 'roids. He's definitely got them, so it wouldn't be hard to just plant them."
"That would explain the random outbursts," Steph mused. At once, they rounded on me. "And YOU," she said. "She had just been hit by a guy three times her size! Where do you get off yelling at her like that?"
"I'm sorry!" I said. Everyone was yelling, and I was just trying to make sense of everything." Vince got in my face.
"You've GOT to learn to control your temper. We KNOW you're used to control. But part of being a parent is learning to not get mad at your kid when they do something stupid!"
"I know," I said. "I know."
"Give her some time to cool down now," Paul suggested. "And then make it up to her." I sighed.
"It's kinda weird going from a two year old to a teenager in a day," I admitted. Vince patted me on the shoulder.
"I know. They're the best years. Anyway, I've got to go take care of Dave." He walked out, and Paul and Steph followed.
"Let Ted take care of Jess tonight," Paul said. I just nodded. Steph gave me an awkward hug.
"Things get easier," she promised. "Good luck."
We all got back to the hotel around 11, and Jess was passed out in Ted's arms.
"Where do you want me to take her tonight?" he asked me. I shrugged.
"She doesn't want anything to do with me tonight, so I guess she can just stay with you two." Ted nodded.
"Alright."
John and I went up to our room, and I found myself unable to sleep.
"John?"
"Mmmm?" he asked groggily.
"How do I make it up to Jess?"
"How'm I s'posed to know, you're the one with a kid," he slurred.
"I have a two year old! It's different!"
"Well, you'll have a whole week to think 'bout it. We're leavin' ahead of everyone else."
"I totally forgot about that." He turned over in his bed to look at me and propped up on his elbow.
"You two had fun pranking each other, didn't you?" I nodded. "Then do something to her stuff before you give it to Ted and Cody in the morning." I thought for a moment.
"JC, you're a genius!" I jumped out of bed and grabbed her bag. I opened up the suitcase and revealed about 10 boxed of saran wrap mixed in with her clothes. A wicked grin spread across my face. "Perfect. Muahahahahahaha!" I chuckled.
"Dude," John said. "Get the exorcist in here. I think you've been possessed by Cody."
(Jessie)
I woke up the next morning not QUITE sure how I'd gotten to the hotel, and was a little startled when I realized that it was like 9 o'clock and nobody was in the room. Usually we rolled out for 7. If nobody was in the room, that might mean that…
"John! Randy!" I ran around the room and nobody was in there. I noticed suddenly that this was NOT John and Randy's room. I darted out the door in the clothes I was wearing yesterday. Nobody was in the hallway. I ran down to Randy and John's room and knocked. A cleaning woman came out. "Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no." I practically sprinted down the stairs, and was immensely relived to see Matt Sydal eating breakfast. "Matt. Please tell me they didn't leave me!" I was almost in tears, and he jumped up and put an arm around my shoulders. He steered me down into a chair next to him.
"Woah, woah. Chill out. Randy and John had to leave out early to go to some promotional stuff. We're not gonna see them for a few days, and Randy figured that you didn't want to be stuck with him."
"So who's room did I wake up in this morning?"
"Well, Ted carried you here, so I guess he brought you to him and Cody's room last night."
"Are they still here?"
"Yeah, they went to go work something out with Mike and John Hennigan. They'll be back in about twenty minutes." I heaved a sigh of relief and my heart slowed down.
"So they didn't leave me?" Matt laughed.
"Nope, you're good. But now you can't get back into your room," he said.
"Y'know, I don't think I could remember the room number if I tried," I sighed. He chuckled again.
"How about I buy you breakfast?" I nodded a little. "Relax, Jess!" I looked up and smiled.
Ted and Cody got back, all smiles.
"Alright. We have a proposition for you." I looked up at them cockeyed from my bagel.
"I'm listening."
"We are in sunny San Diego," Cody said.
"Beaches, you follow?" Ted asked.
"No," I admitted.
"Well, prepare to be informed." We all turned and saw Mike and John Hennigan (AKA Morrison) walking towards us. "I'm John Hennigan, by the way."
"The Miz and Morrison are making a comeback and the first thing we're gonna tackle are the California waves, BABY!"
"John Morrison is about to teach you to take on the waves." He pointed outside and we all saw several surfboards piled on top of a SUV.
"Seriously?" I asked Ted.
"We don't have to be in the next city until like two days from now. We have time to chill at the beach." He threw my swimsuit at me. "C'mon, we're going now." I pulled a quick fist pump and then followed them out the door.
(Randy)
John and I spent the ride to Arizona in silence. I was just mulling over everything that had happened over the past couple days. Eventually I pulled out my phone, deliberating over whether or not to call Ted to check up on Jess.
"Don't bother," John said. "They're out surfing with Mike and John."
"Oh," I said simply.
"Have you talked to Sam about this?" I looked over at him.
"Y'know, I haven't! She was a teenage girl once!"
"Well, we can certainly hope so…" he mumbled. I punched him in the arm. "Hey. No hitting the driver." I hit him again for good measure, and then dialed Samantha Orton, my wife.
"Hey there, stranger," she said cheerfully. "I haven't talked to you in a whole day!"
"Yesterday was kind of crazy," I said with a sigh. "How much do you know about… Teenagers?" She laughed.
"Having fun with John's runaway?"
"Well, that's just the thing…" I said. "Over the past week, she's kind of become MY runaway."
"Oh really? I thought you didn't like her."
"It's funny what pranks will do to a couple of people who hate each other."
"So what's the problem?" I told her the story of the past couple days.
"So now she hates me."
"Hmmm…" she thought for a moment. "You're right, you suck at teenagers."
"I've got a two year old, what do you people want from me?" I asked with a laugh.
"So you played a prank?"
"Yup."
"Sounds like that's the best way to get through to her. Wait for her to find it and see what she does. And when are you gonna bring her home? I'd like to meet her."
"Well, let's see if we can get her to actually stand to be around me again and then we'll work on meeting the family."
"Al says hey."
"Am I on speaker?"
"Now you are."
"Hey Al!"
"Hello Daddy."
"Al, tell daddy what you learned."
"One two three four five!"
"Very good!"
We idly chatted for a while, and then hung up. I hated being away from home on these long trips, but I'd be back by the end of the week. I had expected to be able to introduce Jess to Sam and Al, but I guess THOSE plans got ruined.
(Jessie)
Oh my goodness, I TOTALLY learned to surf in a day. I was a freakin' NATURAL out there. AND, when we were taking a break and just swimming, I saw a shark. Yeah, a real shark. Might not sound exciting to you, but it was a little baby shark and John and I swam down and POKED it. What? Don't give me that look! All the beaches in Louisiana suck, I only get to go to the beach like once a year.
Anyway, we had lots of fun and didn't leave the beach until sundown. I got to see the sun set over the ocean. It was beautiful, relaxing. If you've never done it before, GO TO YOUR NEAREST WEST COAST SEABOARD. Shameless plugging aside, we went back to the hotel that night thoroughly exhausted. I opened up my suitcase to get PJ's out, and was surprised to see everything individually saran wrap and packed tightly together in another layer of plastic. Ted and Cody were both trying to inconspicuously see what my reaction was going to be. I stared for a few moments… and then just started laughing.
"Did, did Randy do this?" I asked. Ted nodded.
"He figured he could make you less mad by pranking you," he said.
"He was totally right," I said. He tossed me his phone, which was already dialing Randy.
"What's up, Ted?" he asked.
"Not Ted," I said with a grin.
"Did you open your suitcase yet?"
"Yeah. That was sly, my friend."
"I was going to hide your clothes around the hotel, but I opened up your suitcase and there it was! The perfect prank."
"I assume you didn't use all of my Saran wrap," I asked, pulling out a few extra rolls.
"Nope. You can't beat that, though."
"Oh, you just wait," I warned. We both laughed for a moment.
"So I wanted to apologize. Again," he said.
"Yeah, me too," I said.
"I'm just not used to teenagers. Two year olds who can only say three words are a lot different from, well, you."
"Yeah, I know. I know we were all on edge."
"Truce?"
"Not as far as pranks go," I said with a smirk. "But yeah, we're all good."
"Good. Watch Ted and Cody. I'll see you three in a couple days." I hung up and threw Ted his phone.
"So, everything's alright?" I nodded.
"Yeah. Everything's perfect."
AN: And there you go! Happy make up chapter before I THROW THINGS BACK INTO DISARRAY! Oh, what could I possibly mean? In all likelihood, you'll see tomorrow. Ciao!