Author's Note: It's been a while since I've updated...demanding job. You may want to re-read the last chapter for continuity's sake before you move on.
Chapter 5: Finding Your Voice
Castle put his game face on and summoned the courage to return to the party. He would not let Josh's sudden appearance discourage him from giving Kate this special night. She deserved his best effort regardless of the inevitable damage it may inflict on his self-respect. Castle bumped into Martha and Alexis as they were exiting the ladies room. Martha immediately recognized her son's brooding demeanor. "You all right, darling?" a concerned Martha asked her son.
"I'm fine," he lied. "Are you ladies having a good time?" he asked with a forced smile.
"Where's Kate?" the teenager asked innocently.
"She's with her boyfriend, honey. I'm sure they're around her somewhere," Castle lamented.
Alexis and Martha shared a concerned look. "Daddy, you did a wonderful job tonight. Everything is just perfect," Alexis said trying to comfort her father.
"Perfect, uh? Right…perfect. It's been a profitable evening for the charity," Castle said.
I know Kate appreciates it," Alexis offered supportively.
I'm…I'm sure she does," Castle responded.
Martha knew that there was nothing that she or Alexis could say to Richard that would be of any comfort. Castle had admitted his feelings for Kate to his mother weeks ago when she confronted him about the sniper attack at the diner. Martha accepted the dangers Richard unnecessarily faced because she knew Kate Beckett was good for her son. Since her son had met the detective, he was a different man. He was grounded…content…happy. He had found his magic. She only hoped that Kate would wake up and see what she's been missing…and soon.
XXXXXXXXXX
As Castle distractedly turned the corner to enter the ballroom, he came face to face with Kate almost knocking her over. "Hey," Castle said weakly, close enough for her to smell traces of whiskey on his breath.
"Hey, Castle! I've been looking for you. Can…can we talk for a second?" Kate asked hopefully.
"Uh…I guess…sure," he replied. He was not ready to have another 'I'm sorry. He and I are together and I don't want things to be awkward' conversation. Luckily, before Kate could go any further, the evening's overly ebullient event planner, Tiffany or "Tiff" as she liked to be called, popped up without warning saving Castle.
"Mr. Castle! Where have you been? They're looking for you. It's time," Tiff said unwittingly coming to Castle's rescue. Castle was clearly relieved.
"Time? Time for what, Tiff?" Kate asked clearly annoyed.
"Time for your host to make an eloquent pitch for your mom's scholarship fund," Castle said.
"Oh! Right! I…I just wanted to tell you…" Kate said contritely pausing to look over Castle's shoulder at the overzealous planner vying for Castle's attention. The curious woman was watching the pair with rapt interest. "Never mind. It'll wait. I'll see you inside, right?" Kate asked with a hopefully smile.
"Of course."
XXXXXXXXXX
Castle took the stage clinking his champagne flute with a fork to get everyone's attention. The crowded room became quiet and the guests turned their attention to the handsome author who had taken the stage, no one more so than Kate.
"On behalf of Jim and Kate Beckett, I would first and foremost like to thank all of you for coming," Castle began.
"The Nobel Prize-winning novelist, Albert Camus once said, 'Life is the sum of your choices.' Albert's quote is vividly brought to life in the story of Johanna Beckett. Johanna chose to pursue the truth. The search for the truth often comes at great personal sacrifice; none as great as the sacrifice made by Johanna Beckett," Castle said somberly.
"I am filled with a profound and abiding gratitude to Johanna Beckett for all she did for the victims of injustice. So much violence, so much indifference," Castle said contemplatively. "Of course, indifference can be tempting. It is so much easier to look away from victims. Indifference is always the friend of the enemy, for it benefits the aggressor - never his victim, whose pain is magnified when he or she feels forgotten. Johanna was determined to speak for those who didn't have a voice. Johanna Beckett never forgot! And neither should we!" Castle emphasized.
Castle scanned the room until his eyes met Kate's. "Regrettably, I never met Johanna Beckett, but I feel as if I have," Castle said holding Kate's gaze. "Her daughter is the living, breathing embodiment of everything Johanna Beckett represented…honesty, integrity, and a insatiable appetite for the truth. If Johanna Beckett was half the woman her daughter is, then I truly regret never having met her," Castle stated sincerely looking directly into Kate's eyes. The poignant moment between the author and his muse did not escape the attention of those around Kate, her family and friends in particular. They studied the woman keenly looking for her reaction to Castle's very public sentiment. Kate's eyes were suffused with tears, but they never left Castle's. They were once again alone in the crowded room.
Castle reluctantly forced his attention back to the audience, "Today we honor a wife, a mother, and an ardent voice for the truth. Personally, if given the option, I would keep the voice I have," Castle said with a faint laugh. "It took me a long time to find it," Castle mused looking back towards Kate. "I'm asking you to set aside your apathy and fund a cause that will give young people the support they need to find their voice," Castle said in an impassioned plea.
"Thank you," Castle said in conclusion and walked down into the crowd to shake hands and thank people personally for their support. Kate was temporarily immobilized by Castle's heartfelt and very public tribute to her mother and to her. She was eager to make her way to him and tell him that Josh wasn't standing between them anymore; that her fear wasn't standing between them anymore. Unfortunately, she found herself commandeered by well wishers anxious to know about her and, more importantly, about her mother's work. She unsuccessfully tried to keep an eye on Castle as she fulfilled her obligation to the people that had come out to support the cause.
Kate finally managed to extract herself from the assembly line of well wishers. While seeking out Castle, she ran into Lanie. "Hey, Lanie." Kate said distractedly greeting her friend.
"Hey, girl! Some speech, uh?" Lanie probed.
"Yea. It was sweet," Kate said introspectively. "I'm looking for Castle. Have you seen him?" Kate asked as she scanned the ballroom.
"Where's Josh?" Lanie pried.
"Josh is gone," Kate said matter-of-factly.
"Gone? Called back to the hospital gone or gone gone?" Lanie pushed.
"Gone gone, Lanie. It's over! He's not what I'm looking for," Kate said without pretense.
"What are you looking for, girl?" Lanie prompted insistently.
"I already told you…I'm looking for Castle," Kate smiled coyly.
"Uh huh! I knew it," Lanie said with a perceptive nod.
"He's on the balcony, sweetie." Lanie said proud of the admission, albeit an indirect one, she had elicited from her normally guarded friend.
"You could have told me that when I asked you a minute ago," Kate said frustrated at her friend's gamesmanship.
"Girl, please. What fun would that have been," Lanie giggled as Kate made a hasty retreat to the balcony.
XXXXXXXX
Kate quietly opened the door to the balcony. She found Castle leaning over the railing gazing absently at the city below. She stood their silently watching him for a moment.
"Hey there," she finally said positioning herself next to him at the railing, her arms just touching his.
"Hey," Castle said smiling nervously.
"Your speech…Wow…Thanks!" Kate stuttered.
"That one was easy. Your mom was an extraordinary woman," Castle said echoing the dedication to Kate found in his first Nikki Heat book. Kate smiled at the obvious correlation. She shivered slightly in the evening breeze. Castle felt her tremble and gallantly removed his coat. He compassionately draped it across Kate's shoulders allowing his hands to linger on her shoulders for a moment. Kate delighted in the physical contact, but was dispirited when Castle suddenly backed away.
Nervous, but undeterred, Kate turned around to face him. "I need to ask you something, Rick?" Kate said.
"Yea…sure," Castle replied. He was caught off-guard by her serious tone and the atypical use of his first name.
"Why did you do all…this?" Kate begged motioning inside to the extravagant benefit thrown in her mother's honor. She mentally braced herself for his answer. Good or bad…it was time.
Castle took a few cautious steps closer to Kate affectionately brushing a stray tendril of hair away from her cheek. "Kate. You know why I did this!" Rick said emphatically.
"I need to hear you say it," Kate pleaded with tears welling up in her eyes.
"I did it for you!" Castle declared as he softly stroked her cheek. "I guess it was little bit selfish too," he reflected.
Kate raised her eyebrows giving him an confused look.
"I did it for you…because I lo-…I just…I wanted the chance to make you happy. Making you happy…makes me happy!" Castle said sweetly.
A silent tear escaped Kate's eye. Castle gently wiped the tear away with his thumb resting his hand on her cheek. Kate hesitantly took Rick's hand from her face pressing a tender kiss into his palm. She placed his hand over her heart hoping he could feel what she was feeling, because at that moment words completely failed her. The rapid beating of Kate's heart against the hand she had just kissed sent a tremor through Rick's body. They didn't need words. Kate's eyes told him what her mouth couldn't. He knew that tonight had not been a mistake…that they were not a mistake. They took their time, savoring the intimacy of the moment. Kate and Rick leaned closer to each other leaving only a fraction of an inch between them. Their lips were just a shallow breath's distance away when…
"There you two are," Tiff said as she merrily barged through the door.
They both let out a frustrated sigh at yet another interruption. "Can I shoot her?" Kate whispered through clenched teeth.
"Get in line!" Rick returned resting his forehead briefly against Kate's before turning around to meet the annoying woman with less than perfect timing.
"Oh…did I interrupt something?" Tiff said in her instantly recognizable high-pitched voice.
"What would make you think that," Kate said under her breath.
Realizing their moment had officially passed, Castle politely asked Tiff what they could do for her.
"The mayor is leaving. He was looking for you and Ms. Beckett, sir." Tiff explained.
"Right…Of course. Lead the way, Tiff." Castle conceded.
Side by side, Castle and Kate followed the exuberant young woman back into the ballroom. As they made their way through the door their hands grazed each other's giving both of them pause. Castle looked down at their hands thoughtfully and gently interlaced his fingers with hers. Kate accepted his hand and held on tightly as they re-entered the party together. Martha saw them return and nudged her smiling granddaughter with her shoulder as the young lady wrapped her arms around her grandmother's waist with a smile. She had not seen her father this happy in a long time.
XXXXXXXXXX
The last of the guests left the gala leaving the Castles and the Becketts standing at the bar toasting to a successful evening.
"Thank you, Richard." Jim Beckett said extending a grateful hand to Castle. Castle took Jim's hand, the adolescent nervousness of their initial meeting only hours ago replaced by mutual admiration. Kate watched them closely. She was touched by the effortless kinship her father and Castle shared.
"Well, it's been a long night and I promised two lovely red-heads I would escort them home," Jim stated nodding towards Martha and Alexis. "Richard, you'll see that my daughter gets home safely," Jim said with feigned parental concern walking out with a red head on either arm.
"Who knew my dad was such a lady's man," Kate said with chuckle.
"You ready?" Castle said taking Kate's hand and leading her towards the exit.
"You have no idea," Kate said suggestively.
P.S. I may or may not have to change the rating to "M", so mark the story if that's your cup of tea. It could go from fluffy to tastefully filthy pretty quickly now that they've had their epiphany. If that's not your thing…thanks for reading along so far.