I don't own anything. All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer

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I was happy to be alone on a deserted island with my bride. It was our fourth day on Isle Esme and the sun was shining brightly, when just the night before there had been a horrible storm. Bella sat next to me and we looked out the French doors at the sandy beach and saw debris that had been tossed by the winds. I wished the previous night's storm had been our only dark cloud.

Unlike the bright new day, there was no fresh reprieve from Bella's bruised body. I had battered nearly every part of her body on our honeymoon night. I'd lost control of my desires and was more forceful than her delicate skin could handle. I couldn't blame the monster that I was for the horror that I inflicted. There were no exigent circumstances for my actions, the bruises were the only evidence I needed. I was less than the gentleman than she needed me to be and I would not harm her again. My self-imposed sentence was abstinence. Bella would have sentenced me to unadulterated indulgence, but she wasn't exactly impartial.

During the night, lightning hit one of the generators. It was a mere inconvenience, moving around the dark with flashlights, but the loud howling wind made the storm rather haunting. We were used to rain storms, living in Forks, the wettest place in North America, but the high winds were a different story. Bella had braved the trudge outside with me to switch out the generators, because she didn't want to be left behind.

When we returned she voiced her concerns. "Shouldn't we stay away from the windows? Won't the wind break the glass or something?" Bella's eyes were wide with fear looking out the glass walls as the wind whipped around debris.

"No. The winds are barely 30 knots, which is nothing more than a strong breeze, and the house is built to withstand hurricane force winds, about 150 miles per hour. We're perfectly safe." I assured.

"Hmm. Do you think it's safe enough for a bath then?"

"If you'd like. Do you want me to run one for you?" I was excited for an opportunity to distract her from the strong gale, but I wasn't foolish enough to join her in a romantic bath.

"No thanks, I think I can manage." Bella's words were curt, probably because she understood I wasn't planning on joining her, "but it would be nice to have a few more candles."

"I'll see what I can do." I leapt out of bed. I went straight to the pantry by the kitchen. I used my keen sense of smell to locate candles. Unfortunately I couldn't smell any wax. "No candles in the pantry," I yelled down the hall.

I did locate a bottle of wine, but since we were both underage, actually only Bella was too young, I was immune -- I settled for a bottle of Evian and a wine glass. I also prepared her a snack tray of chocolates and fruit.

I could hear Bella scoot down the hall into the luxurious bathroom connected to the white bedroom. I hadn't been in the room since we moved out of it. I had bittersweet memories of the room, but where ever Bella went, I wouldn't be far behind. So I braced myself, as I went into the bathroom. There was an intoxicating smell of jasmine and green floral in the air.

"I found some candles." Bella said in her normal voice, knowing that I would hear her no matter where I was in the house.

"I see." She was startled by my sudden appearance.

I leaned against the door jam with a bottle of Evian and a wine glass in one hand, and tray in the other. My wife was a marvelous sight. She wore a spaghetti strap silk green nightgown that shimmered when she moved and made her ivory skin glow. "I thought you might like something cool to drink and a snack."

"Thorough." She replied. She stumbled over to the door and planted a kiss on my lips. "Thank you." She said.

"You're welcome." I returned her kiss and squeezed around her into the bathroom. I set the glass, tray and bottle on the floor near the steps leading into the bathtub and lit the tea candles. "I'll be in the other room."

"You're not joining me?" Bella pouted, obviously attempting to dazzle me with her puckered lips and disappointed eyes.

"This isn't the ocean and I'm sure you'd prefer a warm bath." I was certain she picked the large sunken bathtub because there was plenty of room for two. A bubble danced on my fingertips, reminding me that Bella was just as fragile. I shook my head.

Bella took a deep breath and exhaled. "So, if there were a way for the bath to stay warm, would you join me?"

"Probably not, Bella. I'll see you when you're done." I chuckled at her attempt at seduction, she might have succeeded had her bruises been invisible.

"Oh. I think I'd rather we stay together." She batted her chocolate brown eyes and shivered.

"Don't be silly, stay and enjoy your bath. Nothing is going to happen." I thought how I'd like to stay as well, but wouldn't. "It's not like I can go anywhere." My smooth voice was full of love.

"I know. It's just that I've been rather distant and I've missed you." I turned and looked at her with confusion. She had been distant the last couple of days, but I couldn't figure out her goal for saying that. Was she apologizing, frightened, or a confession wrapped in seduction? How I wished I could read her mind.

Before I could ask, Bella continued. "Never mind, I'll join you when I'm finished. But just so you know, there's a heater built into the tub to maintain the temperature, so you're invited."

I didn't answer. I simply kissed Bella's forehead and walked into the bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and a swirl of feathers flew around me, reminding me of the night, that night. My perfect memory had a gap of several minutes. I'd have to talk with Carlisle about my memory loss, but I was sure it had more to do with phenomenal passions rather than any illness. It didn't matter what the cause, I wouldn't become lost again, not until she was less fragile.

I listened to Bella slip into the soapy water and I recalled the warmth I felt when she held me and kissed my lips. An enormous rush of excitement swept through my mind at the thought of our embraces. I halted my thoughts, it was better not to dwell on such things. I decided that Bella would enjoy some music so I went to the small sitting room. I sat down at the piano and began playing soft melodic tunes.

I could hear Bella's soft, even breathing. I went into the lavishness bathroom, the bath water was still warm and a thick layers of bubbles covered everything but Bella's face. I stepped into the tub and picked her up, she'd fallen asleep. I wrapped a towel around her and carried her back to the blue bedroom.

She smelled warm and floral, like the bath bubbles. I placed her gently on the bed and went to find her some sleepwear. Unfortunately, the only thing I found was high fashion lingerie that would require a rocket scientist to put on. Alice!

I can't sleep with her undressed, and I'd hate to wake her. Ultimately, I dressed her in one of my t-shirts, hoping she wouldn't mind that I hadn't found appropriate nightwear.

I put my arms around my wife and held her through the night. Neither my cool body or the warm night seemed to bother Bella, she slept soundly. I waited anxiously for an unconscious word or sound, but it was her heart that he heard. It was the most significant sound in my life. I counted the beats, and softly rubbed her alabaster skin. She gently snored, forcing warm air over my chest. I was happy. It would be morning before she uttered a sound.

When Bella woke up, she was amorous beyond belief. She rolled over on top of me and began kissing me passionately. I pressed my hand into her side to remove her when she startled me.

"Stay very still." She said and locked my eyes on hers. Her voice was alluring, demanding.

I felt a false sense of security, we were dressed and I was in control of my desires.

"I. won't. go. too. far." She whispered.

"Too late." I moaned. She was moving in ways that only an experienced dancer would know. I was enjoying myself and I couldn't move. I realized that my voice could still work, I was just about to ask her whether I should remove her or would she move willingly, when she rolled back onto the bed. She then shook her head and sighed.

I turned over on one elbow and captured her gaze. "I'm not sure we should chance doing that again until you're changed. That was one of the most erotic experiences of my life." I tried to sound reasonable and sure, probably telling her more than she could handle. It had made me hungry for more, but I couldn't risk a repeat of the night.

"Don't worry that was more irritating than I can handle. I won't try again."

I let out a sigh. I'd hurt her feelings again and she was unhappy. Perhaps, I misunderstood? "It seems our experiences were quite different."

"I wanted all of you, not frustration." She confessed.

"Hmm, well." I fell back onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling. Well, maybe our desires are similar, I thought. She snuggled her head onto my chest and I kissed her head. "It won't be much longer. Please be patient, and you'll never be so dissatisfied."

She was very quiet and I wasn't sure what she was resolving, but it didn't matter. We would not make love until she had a more durable body.

"Bella, where are your regular pajamas and underwear?"

"I don't know, you dressed me!" There was a bit of irritation in her reply.

"Yes, I know but I couldn't find anything that wasn't . . . complicated."

"Oh," She giggled. "I never moved them from the white room dresser. So that's why I'm only wearing your t-shirt. I thought it meant something more."

"I'm sorry I misled you. I should have put you in a pair of mine, I've got several brand new pairs, but I didn't think of it until just a few minutes ago." I listened to her heart race and couldn't imagine what I'd said to make her so nervous. Of course, I asked. "What's got your heart beating so fast?"

"It's probably better if I keep it to myself."

"Bella, you know I'm going to pester you until you tell me, and you know you will." I didn't think we should have secrets or be afraid to share our feelings, actually, I didn't think she should.

"Fine." She sat up in bed and spoke with fury, "I've had to deal with my crazy teenage hormones for the last four days. I can't make them go away and I think you can, but you won't."

"I can't." I felt terribly guilty about denying her, but I would not risk hurting her again. I pulled her close to me. "Please be patient."

"That's just it Edward, I can't be patient. I don't want to control myself. I want to make love with my husband. Honestly, I don't know why we can't keep trying."

"Be reasonable. This is the most joyous time of my life and yet the most difficult. You've got to know, I was just as dangerous on that night as I was when you first came into the science lab at Forks High School."

"No, Edward you weren't." And as if to prove her point she reached over and kissed me with such fervor, that were I to resist, I'd break her heart. So I carefully delighted my wife with kisses, soft embraces and whispers of love. Eventually my wife was much more at ease, radiantly relaxed, and I was able to readjust our positions. There was no need for me to further venture into dangerous temptation.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing, Bella?"

"I pushed you too far."

"I enjoyed myself, Bella." It was my name she'd whispered. "When will you understand? Your actions are beyond reproach." Why did she concern herself with my unworthy desires?

"But you didn't really enjoy yourself?"

"It seems you are unaware, I recover quickly."

"Oh!" She rolled out of bed, and then in such a low murmur that I'm sure she didn't think I could hear her, she said, "I wish I did too."

Bella went to take a shower. When she finished, her breakfast was ready and on the table.

"Are we going out today?" She asked looking out the window at the island.

"We can go cliff diving, if you'd like."

"I'll pack a lunch." She included two books in the lunch sack, I couldn't figure out why.

If she had been distant on the previous day, she was even worse now. She seemed to enjoy the island, but she kept pulling out a book.She would barely look me in the eye and when she did, her cheeks would turn pink.

I, to the contrary, was more jubilant. I played with her hair while she read, never complaining that she was more focused on her book. It was like everything she did was wonderful. I was just thrilled that she had enjoyed herself in the bedroom earlier, plus the fact that her body betrayed her feigned disinterest.

When we returned to the house after watching the sunset from the cliffs, I fixed a large Italian dinner. She thanked me and raved over the flavors, but she read during dinner.

"Are you still angry with me?" I asked when she finished the book.

"I'm not angry with you. I'm trying to keep my mind occupied."

"Why do you need distractions?" It seemed that our whole life was going to revolve around that three letter word.

"You know." Her cheeks flamed red.

"You haven't been successful."

She let out a sigh. "Yes, I have!"

"Your pheromones have been off the charts all day. You smell wonderful." I smiled.

"I'm going to sleep." She began to get up from her chair and I reached to stop her.

"I want to say something." I sat forward. "I've never been happier in my life, and I want you to be happy too. If you're not angry with me, tell me what's got you so upset?"

"That's not a statement."

I leaned closer, "Tell me." I used my most dazzling tone.

"It's not fair for you to do that to me." She took a deep breathe

I whispered, "Please."

Bella's heart began to quicken and I could tell I had her enthralled. She took a deep breath and let her words flow slowly, "Well, this morning --"

"Yes." I encouraged

"I used you. And--"

"And?"

"--And you were too still, too quiet."

"So?"

"So it was like –" She raised her finger to me, asking me to wait until she was finished. "—like when someone wants to avoid something unpleasant, they shut down, become unresponsive."

I frowned. "You think I was unhappy?"

"No, I think I used you. You didn't make a sound. It was like you shut me out."

"I don't think that's it." I shook my head and leaned in closer to my wife. "I think you're upset about this morning, but not for that reason."

Bella started to disagree but I placed my finger over her lips.

"Bella, you know what I am. You know I don't have to move, and that I'm more myself around you. You also know my tenuous self-control, especially when you're so close to me. You've accepted me, loved me despite those things. You want to know what I think?" I removed my finger from her lips.

"Yes, Mr. I-can't-read-your-mind, what do you think?"

"I think," I paused and smiled at her arching my eyebrow. "I think you're an amazing person, generous beyond belief, and selfless. I think you feel guilty, possibly even ashamed, that you enjoyed such a very selfish act this morning."

Bella's cheeks became rosy and she dropped her jaw to speak but she didn't answer.

"I take your silence as agreement then?" I reached out and took her hand. She looked at me and nodded.

"Good. A couple of things, then. First, you didn't do anything to be ashamed of, in fact, I encouraged it for my own selfish delights, and I did find pleasure in it, enormous pleasure. Second, the more selfish you are, the better we can enjoy one another, so in this one area, give yourself permission to be selfish, you deserve it. Third, you said my name; I really enjoyed that part too." I couldn't hold back a silly grin. "Forth,"

"This is more than a couple of things." Bella interrupted.

"Well, you're a complicated being and I'm not sure which argument will work best. Forth, you're probably not planning on a repeat of this morning, so it's no big deal – everything in balance, Sweetheart. And last, if you still feel ashamed or embarrassed, you never have to do that again. I will be more than happy to handle all your pleasuring needs, especially once you've changed."

I finished and flashed my crooked mischievous, smile. Bella exhaled and with that release of air I was certain she freed any guilt and shame.

The next day we spent most of the morning in bed, enjoying each other's company. Later we roamed through the jungle observing the wildlife. It was fascinating to see the myriad of colors. We held hands most of the day and dazzled one another through dinner. At bed time, we held each other close.

"You showed amazing control this morning." She congratulated me.

"Really? I found you irresistible." I murmured

"And now I'm not?"

"Now I'm distracted. It's harder for me at night." We both chuckled. The long nights left my mind to wander. On the island I was the only voice I could hear. When we were in Forks, I could hear minds from miles around to keep me occupied. I didn't have those same distractions now.

"I guess you're going to have to change me soon so I can stay awake with you."

"We've got time." My voice lacked levity at the prospect of killing her soul. Surprisingly, she didn't run through all the reasons for not waiting, instead she fell fast asleep.

I wasn't in the bed when she woke up the next morning. I was sitting on the bench outside the bedroom door.

"Self-exiled?"

"I thought I could keep you safer by watching the birds take a bath." I pointed out the glass wall to the garden birdbath. It was a serene milieu.

She wore a yellow silk short set and she sat on my lap.

"I love you." She whispered.

"As I love you. What do you want to do today?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Would you like to go snorkeling, see some fish?"

"Sounds good." She got up and walked to the bathroom. I went to fix her breakfast, noting that it was good for us both to be happy.

Our honeymoon became a happy pattern of activity. She would wake up around nine o'clock each day. Some mornings were spent exploring one another's bodies, but not long enough for me to lose control. Bella started calling our morning activities, vegetarian sex. We were only surviving on foreplay, never fully satisfied.

After breakfast, I would suggest a daily activity. We snorkeled, discovered caves, the jungle canopy and magnificent waterfalls. When our daily adventure ended, we returned back to the house usually around sunset.

At each twilight, I'd present her with a token of my love. I'd given her jewelry, poems, songs, and a small charm replica of the Cullen crest to place on her bracelet. She continually reminded me that the gifts were unnecessary, as there was only one thing she really wanted.

She would have dinner and the battle for our night's entertainment would begin. It was always the same: brief. She would start to seduce me, become exhausted with defeat and fall fast asleep. Once asleep, it was my own fantasies that I had to fight.

She was becoming less subtle during the evening battles, and I knew my will would not hold out much longer. And then as the bruises began to fade to yellow, she began pulling out lingerie. Cream colored at first. I ignored it all, at least that is what she thought.

On a bright sunny day, we chose to go fishing in the cove on the other side of the island. Her bruises were barely noticeable and she wore the most revealing day wear to date. A bikini. Her thin frame held her perfect hips wrapped in a shimmering blue swimsuit. She was magnificent. I couldn't think straight . . . a couple of yanks on the strings was all it would take. . .

"I'm going to set anchor here." I informed her.

"Edward this is beautiful."

She looked radiant. "Yes, it is nice."

"What no -- compared to you it's okay?" She taunted me with my own words.

I chuckled and jumped into the water. She followed and we were underneath the water entering caves. Watching her expressions as she admired the walls that reflected a rainbow of colors was relaxing. There were handprints on the cave walls, but I was too busy admiring my wife.

"Edward?" We were sitting on the deck of the yacht, while she nibbled on her lunch. Her hair was flying in the wind as she relaxed back into her chair. She turned her eyes away from the lagoon and looked at me.

"Yes?" My thoughts returned to her silky voice.

"Somehow, my unlucky stars have gone on hiatus and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world: a loving, gorgeous husband and a perfect honeymoon." She let out a giggled sigh and turned to look toward the shore.

She had given me the words that I'd longed to hear, the bloom of all my planning. I exhaled. But rather than embrace those words, I waited for the left shoe to drop. I was beyond grateful that it didn't.

Her joy provoked fantasies of our physical desires. It was impossible to consider anything else. If she had touched me, or even looked into my eyes longer, my resistance would have collapsed.

Come to me, Bella. Stay where you are Bella, I'm not safe.

I fretted about her confession. Why hadn't she mentioned the one thing that would have made our honeymoon beyond perfect? Did she no longer find our physical love desirable? Was it unnecessary for perfection?

It took me approximately one quarter of a second from the time she finished her statement to realize that I could not control my thirst, my fantasies and my curiosity at the same time. But sometimes, you get what you ask for, and I longed for that horrid left shoe.

"So, you wouldn't change anything about our honeymoon?" My curiosity would destroy my will far more efficiently than any of my desires.

"Hmmm, what did you say?" Her head turned to me. She was distracted and I couldn't figure out what was going on in her head. It was so frustrating to not hear her thoughts and her eyes didn't give a clue.

"I wanted to know whether you'd change anything about our honeymoon?" I said a little anxious having had to repeat myself. How could I have interrupted her?

"Oh. I don't know." She looked back to the lagoon. "I don't think so."

If there had been blood in my veins, it would have run cold. She didn't think a more physical relationship was needed. She didn't want sex? "You mean you don't want more passion?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I want that, but you asked what I would change."

"Yes. Why wouldn't you change that?"

"Sweetheart." It was rare that she used terms of endearments to address me and with that one word, my cold veins ran hot. "You know, you're just as stubborn as I am." Her voice was satin smooth with no irritation, full of patience, then slowly, softly she continued, "And since abstinence is what you want, I'm not going to let that make me unhappy.

"Besides, there's nothing about us that can fit into a perfection mold anyway. There's always something against us, so I'll accept what we have and the way it is; and be ecstatic about it." She ended flippantly, picking up a book to read.

I wasn't sure I understood entirely what she meant, but I did see the frustration in her eyes and heard it in her voice. I was withholding another part of myself. "You know it won't always be like this." I assured, more for myself than her.

She looked up at me and smiled. Was it agreement I saw in her eyes? Determination? A plan? Or worse, disinterest? Whatever it was, she wasn't going to tell me.

We spent a couple more hours reading, playing in the water, and returned to the house just before dark. I fixed her dinner, and she ate every bit. In fact, she seemed to devour all of her meals, every morsel. I hadn't noticed before how much she ate.

Fifteen days had passed and it was time for me to hunt. I was weak. It was impossible to think clearly, I needed the rejuvenation of feeding. I'd plan to hunt tonight, after she fell asleep.

I was sitting on the bed reading when she came out of the bathroom in the sexiest piece of lingerie yet. It was black, lacy and it layered tightly around her curves. I was stunned. Quickly I gathered my composure, too late for her not to have noticed my gaped mouth. She spun around allowing me additional opportunity to properly behold her. I could smell her enticing scent. Luscious.

"What do you think?" She asked.

In my head I repeated the infamous words of Mike Newton, "Damn, you look good." I cleared my throat hoping to snap out of my trance. "You look beautiful. You always do." What a blasphemous understatement.

"Thanks." She said dejectedly. She crawled into bed and snuggled into my arms. I was thankful it was too hot for her to sleep without my cool arms around her. She felt scrumptious and I couldn't resist stroking her back and the dark silk next to her pale skin.

"I'll make you a deal," she murmured.

"I will not make any deals with you, Bella." After our conversation in the lagoon, I half expected a new tactic, and I would not be swept into its consideration.

"You haven't even heard what I'm offering."

"I'm not buying."

"Dang it. And I really wanted . . . Oh well."

She'd once again unknowingly converged all of my weaknesses at one time. She started with a small weakness—my curiosity. But coupled with my strong desire to make her wishes come true, and my thirst, I knew I'd have to satiate something. With regret I asked. "Okay. What is it you want?"

"Well, I want to go to college, maybe a semester or two. I know the whole Dartmouth story is just a cover story, while I go through the change. But it wouldn't hurt me to go to college for a while."

I wanted her to attend college, badly. It would give her time to mature, possible reconsider her decision to become a vampire. Moreover, the college experience is exceptional. My dear wife was reeling me in. She was using my own desires against me, but it didn't sound too dreadful. "Go on." I said.

"Well, Charlie would get such a kick out of hearing my college stories and it's really not a big deal if I wait and go to college first. I mean eighteen or nineteen; it's not that big a difference -- not like I'll have crow's feet or anything like that."

"You would wait. Stay human?" She was good. I was considering it, then I remembered the last few days. The begging, pleading, and then indifference – No she was hustling me into this and I would not be forced into a situation that would lead to her being harmed. No, she was just bargaining and she had no intention of fulfilling her side. I wanted her to stay human longer and appreciate the sacrifices she would make. This would mean a longer abstinence from sex and I knew I could not survive being a vegetarian much longer.

"Why are you doing this to me? Isn't it hard enough without all of this?" I grabbed the lacy black ruffle that rested on her thigh. Oh, how I wish I were but a ruffle. I focused, and released the lace. "It doesn't matter I won't make any deals with you."

"I want to go to college."

"No, you don't Bella. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That's worth hurting you." My perfect memory brought forth pictures of the fresh bruises.

"But I do want to go. Well, it's not college as much as it's that I want – I want to be human a little longer."

"You are making me insane, Bella. Haven't we had this argument a million times? You are constantly begging to be a vampire without delay." There was no way I could hold out for another year or two, from both sex and the blood thirst; I might not last another hour.

"Yes, but . . . well," She continued to make her point, "I have a reason to be human that I didn't before."

"What's that?" I asked too quickly. I already knew the answer and I really didn't need to hear it.

"Guess." She said and then she demonstrated by leaning up and kissing me rather passionately. I let her, the whole time fleeting pictures of her contusions zipped in my head along with slow passionate images of how they were made. I gently pulled her away from my lips and snuggled her to my chest.

"You are so ruled by your human hormones." I laughed, if she only knew how my urges were warring against me. My love for her fought the physical urges and the thirst. I was losing control.

"That's the whole point, Edward. I like this part of being human. I don't want to give it up yet. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me." She began to mumble her words.

"You're tired. Sleep, love." I needed a respite from my warring body and my mind battles with Bella. I didn't want to think anymore about the things bombarding my resolve. I longed for the piano and settled for my voice. I began to hum Bella's lullaby. It was a sweet melody I'd written for her, with just a little mystery. Humming it helped to settle the both of us.

"I wonder why I'm so tired." Her drowsiness barely allowing her next words, "that couldn't be part of your scheme or anything?"

I hadn't realized that she would consider our honeymoon excursions as some type of scheme to avoid a repeat of the night. I chuckled and concluded that the only one scheming was her – lingerie, college, vegetarianism, what was next? I picked up the lullaby where I had left off.

"For as tired as I've been, you'd think I'd sleep better."

"Bella, you've been sleeping like the dead. You haven't said one word in your sleep since we got here." It was true, she had stopped talking in her sleep. I figured it was the peacefulness of Isle Esme that kept her quiet during the night.

"I haven't been tossing? That's weird. Usually I'm all over the bed when I'm having nightmares. And shouting."

"You've been having nightmares?" I had no clue she had been so restless.

"Vivid ones. They make me so tired. I can't believe I haven't been babbling about them all night." She yawned.

"What are they about?"

"Different things – but the same, you know, because of the colors."

"Colors?" I was not understanding.

"It's all so bright and real. Usually I'm dreaming, I know that I am. With these, I don't know I'm asleep. It makes them scarier."

Bella had always had bad dreams. I wonder why she's confused and just now telling me about the dreams? What was she dreaming of? Frightened of? Me? Something else? "What is frightening you?"

"Mostly . . ." She stopped.

"Mostly?" I repeated so she would finish her sentence. Even if it meant that it was her husband in her dreams frightening her.

"The Volturi," she said softly.

Yes, that would certainly frighten her. They had intimated that they would keep tabs on her because she knew the vampire secret and wasn't a vampire. Even though members of the Volturi guard had been in Forks a few months ago, it was doubtful that they would return again so soon. I hugged her tighter. "They aren't going to bother us anymore. You'll be immortal soon and they'll have no reason"

She seemed to accept my comfort, but then she looked desperate. As if she had to do something but knew it was futile. I entertained that Bella could have a latent gift that allowed her some pre-cognitive abilities in her sleep. I quickly dismissed that because vampires had no unconscious state and Alice pretty much had the vision talent sealed up. There was still the issue of her despair.

"What can I do to help?" I asked.

"They're just dreams, Edward."

"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away." It would keep my distractive thoughts at bay as well.

"They're not all bad. Some are nice. So . . . colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all seems like it's really happening – I don't know that I'm dreaming. Maybe this island is the problem. It's really bright here."

"Do you want to go home?"

"No. No, not yet. Can't we stay awhile longer?"

"We can stay as long as you want, Bella." There was no hurry to end our honeymoon. If she enjoyed it here, then I would continue to make sure her time was happy.

"When does the semester start? I wasn't paying attention before."

I wasn't willing to discuss her deal. I sighed out the first notes of her lullaby and she quickly drifted off to sleep. She was snuggled close to me and the tune started to fade, as I admired my wife.

I rolled on my side to face her and my hand could not resist the smooth touch of silk against her fair skin. I compared. Tantalizing. I lightly circled the lace patterns with the tips of my finger, her breathing increased as if she was aware of my sensual touch.

By the time I had finished tracing the gentle paths of lace for the fiftieth time, I was glad she was soundly asleep. I was beyond able to resist and I knew I needed to go hunting. I smiled, and moved to leave when Bella gasped herself awake.

"Bella?" She must have had another nightmare. "Are you all right sweetheart?"

"Oh," was all she said and then a watershed of tears started streaming down her cheeks.

"Bella! What's wrong?" I was much louder than I needed to be, she was clearly already upset. I started to wipe away the tears, I couldn't keep up with the constant flow. What was going on here? She couldn't continue to have these nightmares like this. We would have to have a long discussion to get to the bottom and stop these dreams! Perhaps she needed psychiatric help. Doctor, I'm afraid that the vampire royalty will come to kill me because I know their secrets. No, she can't go into treatment, that may land her in a psychiatric hospital.

"It was only a dream . . ." She said it so low that it sounded like a question and disappointment all at the same time.

"It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." I held her close and rocked her hoping to shake the horrendous dream from her mind. I would just have to take a few courses in psychology, perhaps get a doctorate. "Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real." I tried my best to comfort her.

"Not a nightmare." I held her closer, she squeezed her hand to her face to wipe away her tears, shaking her head. "It was a good dream." I leaned away from her.

"Then why are you crying?" If it was so good then tears are not what a reasonable person would do and Bella was near hysterics. Perhaps I could bribe a psychologist into seeing her without risking commitment.

"Because I woke up." An avalanche of sobs came and she threw her arms around my neck.

I was a bit in shock. She had never been so – illogical. I chuckled a little, glad she was not having a nightmare – this time. I wondered if my nighttime artistry had anything to do with her good dream. But all these tears over a good dream seemed incongruous. "Everything's all right, Bella. Take deep breathes."

"It was so real. I wanted it to be real." She continued to cry.

"Tell me about it. Maybe that will help." I had to get her crying under arrest. I reveled at the possibility that my simple touches had stopped her nightmares and given her much better dreams.

"We were on the beach . . ." She began.

"And?" So far it seemed like something that I could actually make come true.

"Oh Edward . . ." Her sobbing broke through once again.

Not more tears! I didn't know if I would be able to put up with the watershed much longer. Why didn't she want to tell me her good dream? It couldn't be my nighttime antics then. What was going on here? Was it actually a bad dream or what? Perhaps it was a good dream but I was bad? We could work this out. "Tell me, Bella."

She didn't tell me, instead she put her hand behind my head, grasping my hair with her fingers, while her other hand held my face and pressed her lips to mine with such need. I found my hands going to her face and gentle pressing my lips to hers. It was a passionate kiss, shear longing and desire. I was not in control and this was not the way I would maintain my desires. I struggled to remove her as tamely as possible.

"No, Bella." I pressed her away from me and quickly put my hands on her shoulders. I could not have her so close to me like that – the thirst, desire – my fantasies.

"I'm s-s-sorry." Her body went limp but her tears continued.

My emotions were running just as high as hers. I knew I could make her forget the dreams but at the cost of damaging her? My thirst was strong but my desire was stronger. I had finally hit an impasse. My will to keep her safe against love, desire and lust. I was torn. I reached for her and held her close, her warm body still shaking through the torrent of tears coming down her face. "I can't, Bella. I can't." The agony roaring from the memories of the bruises to the lace patterns. I had to find a way to cease the onslaught of emotions surrounding us.

"Please. Please, Edward?"

She was pleading. I wanted to leave, to run swiftly around the island, but I would only be forced to return back into her welcoming arms. I could no longer see her bruises. All I saw was my wife begging for that which was already hers. All this time, I thought I was keeping her from harm, by withholding that which was so dear, but in fact, I was causing unrest. I wanted her . . . like that night, to be a part of her skin, to dissolve myself into her, make myself a part of her . . .

And in the end, I proved myself to be the selfish monster that I am. I pressed my lips to hers and her response was immediate. I surrendered. Unconditionally.

---

The sun was shining through the window, it was a morning just like that which followed the night. I was filled with utter joy. I took another moment to bask in the bliss I felt. It was more than before – our love had grown, yet, it was more -- familiar. I was more focused, but I knew I had to examine her body before I could thoroughly enjoy the memory. There was no sense putting it off any longer.

I lifted my head and saw that her arms were in the same condition they were while we were on the speed boat on yesterday. I saw no new bruises on her torso, in fact the old bruises had pretty much disappeared around her stomach and sides.

I gently rolled her to me on her stomach. Her back was pristine, except the long yellow faded bruise that was across her shoulder and down her back. I saw no damage on her body. I listened to her pulse and the flow of blood through her body and was unable to discern any broken blood vessels.

Victory.

I looked for property damage. I saddened at the sight of scraps of black lace at the foot of the bed. I remember biting and turned my head to see to large pieces of wood ripped from the head board. Esme will not be pleased. I'll have to replace it.

I pulled her across my chest and stoked her hair. I finally felt able to enjoy some of the wonder of my wife. Her hair was fanned out across my shoulders and covered her face as she slept. I gently rubbed her arms that glistened with light perspiration where the sun shined on her skin. Warm breaths of air were pushed out of her nose onto my skin, changing it from cold to tepid. I could bask in her warmth forever.

She began to stir and I wasn't quite ready to finish with my exploration, needing no lace pattern. I began to hum softly in her ear and cooled her arms. She easily fell back into a deep sleep. I reveled in her beauty for hours. Finally her breathing changed and I knew she would soon wake up.

I pulled my arms behind me, resting my head on my hands. She took deep breaths and I knew she was no longer asleep.

"How much trouble am I in?" She whispered.

"Heaps." I figured if she could entrap me, I would at least make her think I was upset. I smiled at the thought.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean . . . Well, I don't know exactly what that was last night." She seemed repentant.

"You never did tell me what your dream was about." We still had a problem to address and now was as good a time as any.

"I guess I didn't – but I sort of showed you what it was about." She giggled, unsure.

"Oh. Interesting." She was amazing. Perhaps she did feel the intricate wandering I did around her body last night while she was sleeping.

"It was a very good dream. Am I forgiven?"

"I'm thinking about it," I teased her.

She sat up, probably too quickly and immediately fell back onto the pillows. "Whoa . . . head rush."

I swooped her up in my arms certain her head rush was due to so much sleep."You slept for a long time. Twelve hours."

"Twelve?"

She began to examine her body, similarly to the morning after the night. I admired her as she took a quick once-over.

"Is the inventory complete?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"The pillows all appear to have survived."

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your, er," That beautiful black lacy thing. "nightgown." Calling it a nightgown was like calling the ocean a glass of water. I pointed to the remnants of black lace at the foot of the bed.

"That's too bad. I liked that one."

"I did too." I'd have to find another one. Me shopping for women's lingerie – I guess I could get used to it. However, I'm sure Alice had already picked up another one.

"Were there other casualties?"

"I'll have to buy Esme a new bed frame." I nodded to the headboard.

"Hmm. You'd think I would have heard that."

"You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved."

"I was a bit absorbed." She blushed.

"I'm really going to miss that." I touched her warm cheek, and marveled. I looked into my favorite set of eyes, brown chocolate. They were magnificent.

"How are you feeling." She asked me.

I laughed. I must have been acting better than I thought, she looked like she swallowed the cat.

"What?" She wondered.

"You look so guilty – like you've committed a crime."

"I feel guilty."

"So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That's not a capital offense." I was happy to go along with this line of reasoning. It was more carefree than we'd been the whole time on the island.

"The word seduced implies a certain amount of premeditation."

It did start from a dream, possibly my touches – hormones, yes. Premeditation – no. "Maybe that was the wrong word.

"You're not angry?"

"I'm not angry." I was actually quite ecstatic and she was about to kill my bliss, stealing her words, I grinned.

"Why not?"

"Well, I didn't hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time to control myself, to channel my excesses. Maybe because I had a better idea of what to expect." I glanced at the headboard.

"I told you that it was all about practice."

I rolled my eyes – no one liked an 'I- told- you- so' but she'd been right. I turned my eyes over to the clock. It was one in the afternoon. Her stomach growled and she hopped out of bed as if an alarm went off. She stumbled towards the dresser, barely able to hold her balance. I was at her side before she actually teetered over. "Are you all right?"

"If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund." She made it safely to the bathroom but I remained near just in case she started to stumble again.

After she was dressed in a pink cotton dress, I watched her cook. She settled on eggs, sunny side up. "Do you know how many eggs you've gone through in the last week? I showed her the trash can filled with empty egg containers.

"Weird. This place is messing with my appetite. But I like it here. We'll probably have to leave soon, though to make it to Dartmouth in time?"

I couldn't figure out why she wanted to continue the charade of wanting to go to college. I had given into all her demands and there wasn't anything left to bargain for. I decided to let her off the hook so we could move on. "You can give up the college pretense now – you've gotten what you wanted. And we didn't agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached."

"It wasn't a pretense Edward. I don't spend my time plotting. What can I do to wear Bella out today." She said in a horrible imitation of me. I laughed deciding that I could straighten out her misconception later.

"I really do want to go to college. I want to spend a little more time being human. I have not had enough --"

She rubbed her hot hand over my bare chest sending electrical charges. She wants more sex! More me? Those human hormones are relentless. "You mean you'd stay human for this? Sex was the key all along? I could have saved myself a lot of arguments if I'd thought of that."

"Yeah probably." She said, nonchalantly.

Well, there is no way I would force her into becoming a vampire. She wanted to stay human, I'd agree. We had our intimate life under control and all we had to do was show up at Dartmouth. She is going to love college. I was excited. "So, we're going to Dartmouth? Really?"

"Yeah. I'll probably fail out in one semester."

"I'll tutor you. You're going to love college." I started planning the next few months.

"You think we can find a place to stay?"

I've got that covered. "I already bought a house there, just in case."

She looked surprised. "You bought a house?"

"Good investment."

"So we're ready then?"

"I'll have to see if we can keep your 'before' car for a little while longer. . . " The dealer would be highly upset with me, I promised to return the car by the end of September.

"Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks. How much longer can we stay?"

"We're fine on time. A few more weeks. We can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renee . . . " I could hear the sound of a boat approaching the dock.

"Okay a few more weeks. So, I was thinking – you know what I was saying about practice before?"

"Can you hold that thought? I hear a boat. The cleaning crew must be here. There is a place in the jungle on the south ---"

"I don't want to go out hiking today. I want to stay here and watch a movie."

I had the perfect spot to watch parrots. Well, we could go there another time, we have a few more weeks. "Okay, you pick out a movie and I'll get the cleaning crew started."

I went and put on a shirt and pants. I met the cleaning crew at the door. The man and woman spoke Portuguese, little English. I introduced myself and thanked them for coming. I escorted them through the great room and introduced my wife. The man just smiled but the woman's thoughts mirrored her expression of horror at seeing that my wife did not have the same skin and eye color as me. It had been so long since I heard someone else's thoughts.

Mercy God! It is not safe here. He has seduced that girl into marriage. Does she know that he is a demon? Blood drinker? Why do they always take the young beautiful ones? She will be dead before we come back. The Libishomen have red eyes. This cold man with black eyes. The girl is not safe here. I must get her away.

We walked to the white bedroom and they started to clean it. I was already tired of hearing other people's thoughts, I returned to my wife.

"What's with her?" Bella asked, obviously noting the fear in the Brazilian woman's eyes.

"Kaure's part Ticuna Indian. She suspects what I am, it's part of her awareness – that modern people would consider superstition. She believes I am a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women."

"She looked terrified."

"She is. Mostly she is worried about you and why we are here all alone." I really didn't care what she thought. No one would believe her tales, they'd be discounted as superstition. Moreover, Bella was safe with me. "Well, why don't you pick out a movie? That seems like a very human thing to do."

We giggled together and she put her arms around my neck reaching up to give me a kiss. I could tell it would be a long passionate kiss so I leaned over and lifted her up from her waist to meet me. We were exploring the pleasures of one another's lips, when I heard Kaure's thoughts.

Oh no they have sex! What a sickening thing. The girl must be in a trance to kiss such a demon. It is unnatural. She must get away while she still can.

Kaure's loud gasp caused Bella to unlocked her arms from around me and blushed. Kaure apologized for interrupting and informed me that she would start on the other rooms, while Gustavo finished the white room, it would be quicker.

"She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn't she?" Bella asked.

"Yes." She handed me a movie to put into the DVD player. A very honeymoonish movie – a musical.

"Are we going to move back into the white room?"

"I think we better not. Esme may invite us back if we keep all the damage to one room." Esme would not be pleased if I destroyed anything in the white room. It was her favorite.

"So there will be more destruction."

My Bella was quick, "I think it might be safer if it's premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to – assault me again."

"It would be a matter of time." She promised.

Her pulse began to pick up its pace, "Is there something wrong with your heart?"

"Nope. Maybe we should go survey the demolition zone."

"Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. You may not notice me tearing apart furniture but it would probably scare them." Her raging hormones had her out of control, mine too. Teenagers!

Gustavo and Kaure finished at the same time that the movie ended. Bella slept through most of the movie, in fact she had slept most of the day away. I didn't get up to walk them to the door. Bella was still sleeping. I made arrangements for them to come back the next day. Gustavo agreed and quietly walked out of the door. I heard the boat pull away from the dock.

"They're finished. Ready for lunch" I asked Bella. I figured she was hungry and I took her into the kitchen and fixed her a nice big lunch of fish and rice. She ate a whole fish.

"This is getting out of hand." She said when she left no traces of edible food on her plate.

"Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon – burn off the calories?" I hoped she would say no. I hoped that her raging hormonal drive was in control.

"Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories."

"What was that?" Hoping to hear an invitation.

"Well, there's an awful lot of headboard left –"

That's what I wanted to hear. I picked her up and carried her at vampire speed into the blue room. We had some furniture to destroy.