Between watching the woods for the wolf attack to watching for Bella to die, there had been no relaxation in the house. Bella's uneasy sleep was marred by the punching and kicking of the monster that grew inside her body. Her stomach was a large mound, carrying death, a cruel joke. The larger her belly stretched, the smaller she got. That thing sucked every part of her up and put it into its cocoon of death.
There was no quiet this night. The sounds of paws pressing into the ground around and around the perimeter of our land were assurances that we would have forewarning of the attack. The monitors steady beeping, telling me what I already knew. The drip of the fluids into the IV cords sending nutrition straight to that hated beast. The air rising and falling in eight pairs of lungs, each breath different, only one labored and necessary. Soft moans, forced from a poor body, too weak to prevent the sounds of pain from echoing throughout the house.
As the sun rose across the cloudy sky, there were new sounds of animals furrowing throughout the forest. Birds chirping. But like the night I listened for only one sound. They were fewer, less pronounced, but welcomed. I honored each one. I listened to my Bella's heartbeats.
Another noise came from the forest, a howling that soon snarled into a whimper. We all heard it, followed by the running of a lone wolf.
I went outside to the porch, flanked once again by Jasper and Emmett. Before we could see the wolf come into the clearing, I heard Seth yelling. Sorry false alarm, it was just my dumb sister – switching sides.
Seth then came into the clearing. There was no need to talk, Bella was moaning. I turned and went back into the house.
Wow, he looks bad. I saw myself in Seth's thoughts as he ran back into the forest. I was a hollow shadow a true walking dead man. There was no more emotion left. Nothing.
I had done all I could to save her. I had prepared all I could to save her if she didn't survive. The only thing left to do was share her last moments in love.
I'm not sure where I found the energy; maybe it was our love that gave me the strength. She was still alert when awake, but her body tired too easily. I told her stories of our life together, the beauty that she carried. She listened as I told her short stories about the many cars I'd driven and the places I'd visited. None of those experiences could ever compare to the day we were married or the day she first told me she loved me.
"What about our honeymoon." A faint color outlined her cheek bones. I leaned closer placing my cheek against hers.
"I spent weeks planning our honeymoon. I researched the different places we could explore together, like the caves and the rain forest on Isle Esme." I whispered in her ear. "I studied cooking." I stopped, there was something more I needed to say. "You've given me so much joy. . .
"Don't do that." Her words came in between her short warm breathes that reached my cheeks.
"You are my life."
"No good-byes, ever." Her system registered her increased stress, the monitors followed. "Promise."
"I promise." I looked at her face – as long as we both shall live. She relaxed. I turned my head to Carlisle, who was checking Bella's monitors.
"Carlisle, would you check with Jacob, he's human, so you won't need me to translate." Jacob always seemed to stay calm when Carlisle greeted him.
"Tell me what's going on with Jacob." Bella asked. I told her everything, including Alice's vision.
"What does Alice see now?" she asked?
"There doesn't seem to be any change, the decision to abort the attack has not been made. She is having a hard time trying to see past the half human werewolves but also seeing you.
"Probably because the baby is half human too."
"Maybe. She says the closer she is to . . ." I looked to the huge mound under the covers, "the more difficult it is to see the future, so difficult that . . " I paused, Bella would not like knowing that she caused Alice pain.
"It hurts her to be near." Bella finished. "I thought it was just hurting her to see me sick." Her face frowned, another jolt came to her body from inside.
"Please don't worry about her or Jake. I will take care of them both. Between the two of them, they have helped me to save your life often enough. I owe them."
"You're right. Until the pack calls off the attack, we'll have to trust them to come up with a way to save us. They won't let us down." She closed her eyes as if she was waiting for one of them to come up with something immediately.
I listened to Carlisle explain Bella's condition to Jacob. "I'd say there's an even chance at this point. I've seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail. . . there won't be anything for me to do."
"What is that thing doing to her?" Jacob asked. "She was so much worse last night. I saw . . . the tubes and all that. Through the window."
"The fetus isn't compatible with her body. Too strong for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The bigger problem is that it won't allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I'm trying to feed her intravenously, but she's just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. I'm watching her – and not just her, but the fetus as well – starve to death by the hour. I can't stop it and I can't slow it down. I can't figure out what it wants." Carlisle had spent countless hours searching for remedies.
Probably just looking for something to sink its teeth into – a throat to suck dry. Since it wasn't big enough to kill anyone else yet, it settled for sucking Bella's life from her. I could tell them exactly what it wanted: death and blood, blood and death.
Jacob's thoughts were exactly what Bella had expected. He was coming up with a way that might save her life – what would it hurt if we pursued Jacob's reasoning? Nothing else was working. It won't hurt her. Carlisle hadn't thought of this, I wonder what his opinion would be . . .
I stood up, "I'll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?" Might as well keep her in the loop so she wouldn't interfere – think it's some ruse or something.
"What is it, Edward?" Bella asked hoarsely.
"Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second." I turned to Rosalie, "Please, Rose?" There was a hint of promise in my voice, a hint that she would find irresistible.
"Esme?" Rosalie called. What mess are you going to try now? You won't succeed. Idiot. "Can you mind Bella for me?"
Esme whooshed to Bella's side. "Of course."
I walked out the door first, when Rosalie followed, I shut the door behind us. "Carlisle."
"What is it Edward?"
"Perhaps we've been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the . . . " blood-sucking seed, "wants, Jacob had an interesting thought."
Me? What was I thinking? I hate that thing, just like you.
"We haven't actually addressed that angle. We've been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the . . . " life-sucking leech "fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we'll be able to help her more effectively."
"I'm not following you, Edward." Carlisle responded.
"Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves – what it's not getting? Jacob did."
It craves – ugh good thing I got a strong stomach.
"Oh" Carlisle's accepted the obvious – he had never treated a vampire, there had never been a need to consider the needs of one either. I should have known – it's almost obvious. "You think it is . . . thirsty?"
Even Rosalie caught on, her excitement hardly contained. Yes, the baby wants blood. "Of course. Carlisle, we have that entire type O negative laid aside for Bella. It's a good idea." Bella won't need it, she's not losing any blood.
Carlisle took more time to consider. "Hmm. . " He absently started fidgeting, acting like a human doctor, rubbing his chin deep in thought. But if that is what it needs, how to get it to the fetus. Can't use a needle – the membrane is too thick. "And, what would be the best way to administer?" He said out loud contemplating to himself.
"We don't have time to be creative." Rosalie shook her head. Bella and the baby need help now, we can't lose them. "I'd say we start with the traditional way."
Jacob's head started shaking. This can't be happening. "Wait a minute. Just hold on. Are you –you talking about making Bella drink blood?"
"It was your idea, dog," Rosalie said as she hissed under her breath, impatient that Jacob would have any input whatsoever. Stay out of it mutt.
"That's just . . ." Jacob was looking for the right words to say out loud.
I said what he didn't "Monstrous? Repulsive?" Carlisle seemed to warm to the idea. Rosalie was ready to begin.
Jacob's face was scrunched up. He turned to me. Monstrous, Repulsive. "Pretty much."
"But what if it helps her?"
"What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?" He shook his head in disgust.
"I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first." I answered.
"If you tell her it might help the baby, she'll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through the tube." Rosalie agreed.
Jacob looked at Rosalie when she said baby. She's maternal? She'd probably do anything for that little life-sucking leech. She probably wants the baby for herself.
I had to nod my head in agreement with Jacob's thoughts. Rosalie was so very close to having the baby she so desperately wanted – the ultimate reason why she wanted to be human. She was experiencing pregnancy vicariously.
That ice-cold Barbie wanted a baby. So much for protecting Bella – Rosalie'd probably jam the tube down Bella's throat herself.
Jacob's thoughts were awakening the monster. I wanted death and killing Rosalie would satisfy it – for now. I withheld the monster with a growl, pursing my lips.
"Well, we don't have time to sit around discussing this." Rosalie impatience showed. "What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?"
Carlisle quickly thought of a patient's right. I can't ignore her will. It wouldn't be right to make such a choice for her, to force her. Not in this and not in terminating the pregnancy.
He stood up, concluding the discussion. "We'll ask Bella."
We swiftly went into the house, the four of us. I let Carlisle take the lead, Rosalie was on his heels. Jacob and I followed.
Bella looked cautiously at us. "What's going on?" There was fear in her eyes and her hand held her stomach protectively.
"Jacob had an idea that might help you." Carlisle declared.
Leave me out of this – give the credit to her blood-sucking husband.
"It won't be . . . pleasant, but-" Carlisle was interrupted by Rosalie.
"But it will help the baby." Rosalie's voice rose with excitement. "We found a better way to feed him. Maybe." If she won't be able to drink it, we can use a tube.
I saw Bella look around, searching and then a quick chuckle, strangled by the pain she felt "Not pleasant?" Her small voice continued "Gosh, that'll be such a change." Her eyes went to the tubes and monitors around her.
Rosalie laughed.
I frowned and controlled my anger, resisting the urge to snap Rosalie's neck, as I stepped around her. I went to Bella's side and picked up her free hand.
"Bella, love, we're going to ask you to do something monstrous. Repulsive."
"How bad?"
I let Carlisle explain. "We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours. We think it's thirsty."
"Oh. Oh." She understood that she would have to drink blood.
Carlisle continued, "Your condition-both of your conditions- are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory-"
"I've got to drink it." She whispered. There was only a slight hesitation. "I can do that. Practice for the future right?"
.
I watched her expression, yes she would do it. Rosalie started tapping her foot on the floor. Stop all this procrastination, they are getting worse. Why are you all so busy trying to make it sound so bad? We all do it.
"So, who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" Bella asked.
Jacob's thoughts were loud. Trying to ease the tension with jokes, make it better for everyone else. So Bella.
I glanced at Carlisle. Human blood, Edward. Rosalie stopped tapping her foot.
"What?" Bella whispered.
"It will be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella." Carlisle responded.
"If the fetus" leech "is craving blood it's not craving animal blood." I explained.
"It won't make a difference to you, Bella. Don't think about it." Rosalie interjected.
Bella tried to figure out where the blood would come from, she barely breathed and asked "Who?" She tilted her head towards Jacob.
"I'm not here as the donor, Bells," Jacob was shaking his head furiously. "'Sides its human blood that that things after, and I don't think mine applies –" Jacob looked around and I gave him a slight nod.
"We have blood on hand," Rosalie interrupted Jacob, ignoring him completely. We don't have time for this mutt's barking. "For you-just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better."
I refused to look at Rosalie. My anger was barely under control. The stronger the baby got, the weaker Bella was and the quicker her death. Rosalie needed to take a flight - out the window.
"Well," Bella continued. "I'm starving, so I'll bet he is too. Let's go for it. My first vampire act." I wasn't too thrilled with this, probably because Rosalie was so insistent and Bella compliant. Carlisle and Rosalie were upstairs, preparing the drink before her head nodded in agreement.
I saddened at what love has led her to – her first vampire act and she wasn't a vampire. Something I would never have asked or wanted for her. I couldn't look at her differently though, I loved her. She was my life. She was everything to me. She thought there was nothing that I wouldn't do for her, all I did was minor - insignificant. She has proved time and again that there isn't anything she wouldn't do for me.
This was her choice, like Carlisle said. It was another impasse between us, but we would not stop loving and supporting one another. She could do this, but I wasn't sure this would work. She forced a smile across her pale lips. I rubbed her hand gently. Her choice.
The rest of our family, stood around the bed. Waiting. Almost admiring our relationship. Even Jacob's jealously was abated by our tender moment. I blocked them all out of my thoughts. There were only one person's thoughts that I wanted to hear. I wasn't hearing her though, even now. She had my heart and I would support her choice. Make it easier.
Rosalie sprinted by us to the kitchen, caring the warmed blood in a large container. I saw her thoughts to the object of her visit to the kitchen, a clear plastic drinking cup. "Not clear, Rosalie." I shook my head, disgusted at her lack of consideration. The life-sucking leech couldn't see the drinking cup and that's what mattered to Rosalie.
Bella looked at Jacob, straining her voice so he could hear her. "This was your idea?"
Funny she forgets I'm not completely human. I can hear her just fine, kind of nice that she sees me as human. "Don't blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head."
"I didn't expect to see you again." She strained to give him a smile.
"Yeah, me, either." He said.
"Edward told me what you had to do. I'm sorry." Amazing, she was so very caring.
"S'okay. It was probably only a matter of time till I snapped over something Sam wanted me to do." He wasn't very convincing. Bella seemed to catch the lie.
"And Seth?"
"He's actually happy to help."
"I hate causing you trouble."
Jacob threw his head back and laughed. Between me and my wife, trouble is all Jacob found.
"I guess that's nothing new is it?" She asked.
"No, not really."
"You don't have to stay and watch this." She was tiring, her words barely audible.
"I don't really have anywhere else to go. The wolf thing is a lot less appealing since Leah joined up."
"Leah?" Bella was surprised.
He turned to me, "You didn't tell her?" I really hadn't thought it was newsworthy. I shrugged my shoulders. I focused on Bella's heart beats. They were strained.
"Why?" Bella asked Jacob.
"To keep an eye on Seth."
"But Leah hates us." Each word a strain.
I wanted them to stop talking. Let her rest, but it was probably a good thing for her to have the distraction.
"Leah's not going to bug anyone. She's in my pack, so she follows my lead." Jacob attempted to sound convincing.
Bella's looked at Jacob "sure."
"You're scared of Leah, but you're best buds with the psychopath blonde?"
My like for Jacob grew. He was able to say what I only thought. I'd have hurt too many people if I'd have said that. Actually it was juvenile. She got away with calling me so many names in her thoughts, but her thoughts did betray her.
"Don't." Bella begged. "Rose . . understands."
"Yeah," Jacob despised Rosalie. "She understands that you're gonna die and she doesn't care, s'long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal."
It was out. I wouldn't stop the discussion. Bella didn't seem surprised though.
"Stop being a jerk, Jacob," she tried to sound angry.
"You say that like its possible."
Jacob was able to insult Rosalie and make Bella smile at the same time. It seemed I underestimated the talents of this youngster.
The drink was ready, inside an opaque brown cup, not clear. Carlisle extended the cup to Bella. Can she hold it? "We could try another method." He said.
"No." She was so very brave. "No, I'll try this first. We don't have time . . " She pulled her hand over her stomach and unsteadily reached for the cup. She was leaning against the pillows, but she would have to sit up more to be able to drink.
Her hand was shaking as she held the cup, bracing herself for the pain. Rosalie reached around to cradle Bella's head.
"Thanks." Bella looked at all of us, refusing to let us know the physical pain she was feeling. Scared it would get worse, if the blood worked. She was also concerned that the smell of blood had made her faint and nauseous.
"Don't mind them," Rosalie murmured.
The cup reached her face. She risked smelling it, scrunching her face ready for the aroma to take her away to unconsciousness.
I held out my hand for the cup, she didn't need to become ill again. "Bella, sweetheart, we can find an easier way."
Get away from that cup you Idiot! Rosalie's thoughts no longer caught me off-guard. "Plug your nose."
Bella surprised me, "No, that's not it. It's just that it" She took a big whiff. "It smells good."
For the first time in her life, the smell of blood would not make her ill, faint or disgusted.
"That's a good thing," Rosalie encouraged. "That means we're on the right track. Give it a try."
I watched as Bella placed the straw between her thin dry lips, took a deep breath through her mouth and tasted human blood. Her eyes were shut. She moaned from the pain and great effort it took to lift her body to take in the drink.
"Bella, love-"
"I'm okay." Her eyes opened and I could tell that she was okay, not pain free but okay with drinking the blood. "It tastes good, too." She added.
"That's good." Rosalie was pleased. "A good sign." I knew this would work.
I promised myself that I would stop listening to Rosalie's thoughts. I went closer to Bella and placed my hand on her cheek. So strange to see her drink, brave. She swallowed another gulp of the blood, as if it were her favorite drink.
"How's your stomach? Do you feel nauseated?"Carlisle asked.
"No, I don't feel sick." She shook her head, relieved. "There's a first, eh?"
I knew she wasn't sparing our feelings, nausea wasn't easy to hide.
"Excellent." Rosalie said.
"I think it's a bit early for that Rose," Carlisle cautioned. Bella needed nutrition that the blood would not provide. I continued to block out Rosalie's thoughts.
Bella took another breath sucking in more of the red, warm liquid. Her eyebrows began to wrinkle forming a 'v' and she looked at me. "Does this screw my total? Or do we start counting after I'm a vampire?"
"No one is counting, Bella. In any case, no one died for this, your record is still clean." I tried to give her a smile, hoping beyond hope that she would want to remain human and alive.
What does that mean? Jacob shouted in his mind. I was surprised that he'd stuck around, even now, he stood directly across from me, surrounded by vampires. There really wasn't much he wouldn't do for his best friend.
"I'll explain later." I told him, so low that it sounded like I'd taken a heavy breath.
"What?" Bella asked, she didn't miss much.
"Just talking to myself." I didn't want to distract her from her task, easier to lie.
If Bella lives, and her senses become sharp like yours, you'd better work on the honesty thing. Jacob thought.
I pinched my lips together, forcing away an ill-timed smile. Sharing his mind was a welcomed distraction for me. Bella continued to drink, focusing on keeping her body still in order to avoid further pain.
She's pretending we're not here, probably just me though. The rest of this group wouldn't be disgusted by what she's doing. Just the opposite – they are probably having a tough time not ripping the cup away from her to drink it themselves.
Jacob's thoughts were not always consistent with reality. I rolled my eyes, just to let him know that he was wrong and out of line.
Jeez, how did anyone stand living with him? It was really too bad he couldn't hear Bella's thoughts. Then he'd annoy the crap out of her too, and she'd get tired of him.
Okay that was funny enough for a chuckle.
Bella looked at me, wanting in on the joke, certain it was probably about her, a faint hint of a blush was apparent, the first color on her face in days. "Something funny?" She asked.
"Jacob."
"Jake's a crack-up," she nodded her head slightly, understanding.
"Bada bing" Jake replied, irritated to be the court jester.
After a smile at Jacob's latest wise crack, she finished the drink. "I did it. If I keep this down, Carlisle will you take the needles out of me?"
"As soon as possible," he agreed. "Honestly they aren't doing that much good where they are."
Carlisle was right the IV nutrition wasn't doing as much good as a couple of cups of blood. Bella not only looked better, she was better. She was able to hold her own head, her voice was clearer, her breathing was easier and there was color in her face. Mostly, her heart was stronger.
"Would you like more?" Rosalie asked.
I reminded myself that I would not attack her nor would I listen to her psychotic thoughts. I glared at her though, grateful she wasn't able to read my thoughts.
Bella dropped her shoulders, accepting the push from Rosalie.
"You don't have to drink more right away." I told her. Vampires could wait day between feedings, perhaps the same was true with the thing Bella was caring.
"Yeah, I know." She looked resigned to having more. "But . . . I want to."
Rosalie petted Bella's hair, soothing her. "You don't need to be embarrassed about that, Bella. Your body has cravings. We all understand that. Anyone who doesn't understand shouldn't be here."
Bella understood the biting tone of Rosalie's words – obviously addressed to Jacob and possibly myself included. I wasn't reading her thoughts to find out though. Bella handed her cup to Carlisle and she turned to look at Jacob.
"Jake, you look awful."
"Look who's talking." Jacob retorted.
"Seriously –when's the last time you slept?"
"Huh, I'm not actually sure."
"Aw, Jake. Now I'm messing with your health too. Don't be stupid. Get some rest, please. There's a few beds upstairs—you're welcome to any of them."
Not Rosalie's
"Thanks Bells, but I'd rather sleep on the ground. Away from the stench, you know."
"Right."
She was more concerned with others than herself, I was glad to see that her body allowed her kindness to return. It also removed the need for Rosalie to hover over her, ready to catch her if she fell over. Bella quickly finished the second cup.
"How do you feel now?" Carlisle asked.
"Not sick. Sort of hungry . . . only I'm not sure if I'm hungry or thirsty, you know?"
"Carlisle, just look at her," Rosalie's haughty tone interjected in her enough to set anyone on the edge, but especially me. "This is obviously what her body wants. She should drink more."
"She's still human, Rosalie. She needs food, too. Let's give her a little while to see how this affects her, and then maybe we can try some food again. Does anything sound particularly good to you, Bella?"
"Eggs," she answered without hesitation, turning to look at me. We both smiled.
Jacob seemed to blank out. "Jacob, you really should sleep. As Bella said, you're certainly welcome to the accommodations here, though you'd probably be more comfortable outside. Don't worry about anything. I promise I'll find you if there's a need."
"Sure, sure." He answered. Bloodsucker will wake me up if something went wrong. You owe me.
"I do." I agreed.
Jacob patted Bella's hand, feeling coldness. "Feel better."
"Thanks Jacob." She squeezed his hand.
"Get her a blanket or something," Jacob slurred as he went to the door.
Two urgent howls pierced the air. Trouble. Jacob snarled "Dammit" and was out of the door, phasing as he went down the stairs from the porch, his clothes ripping to shreds. Crap. There was no mistaken the urgency, they were coming.
A/N – I will post the last 8 chapters as soon as I have them beta'd. Absent a boat –load of comments and encouragements I will stop the story at 18 chapters. On a good note, I have a B+E story in the works that I have to finish outlining before I can put up the first few chapters.