A/N: I really am not sure how you guys are going to feel about this chapter. *Crosses Fingers*

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 12 - Carlisle (9 and a half years later)

I was flying quickly through the trees in a heavy forest. The woods around me seemed familiar, even though I had never seen them with my vampire eyes. I ran faster and faster. My body knew where I was headed, but as much as I thought about it, my mind could not figure it out. Suddenly, I burst through the trees into a perfectly round meadow that was lit by the full moon. For a moment, the beauty of the meadow distracted me. Then, a flash of the last time I had come to this place hit my mind and I sank into the grass and flowers, my whole body shaking with dry sobs as I thought of Edward. I tried to stop myself, get up and leave but my tears were too much. After a few moments, I heard something moving just beyond the tree line. Whoever it was moved around the forest as if they knew it well. They seemed to keep out of view purposefully.

Then, the most familiar voice that had haunted my waking dreams for so long now that I was no longer surprised by its velvety tones said, "Bella, my love come back to me. I love you and I need you with me always."

Then Edward stepped out of the trees and into the meadow. He walked toward me with his wonderful crooked smile plastered over his lips and I ran to him. The moment I reached him, I started kissing him with abandon. We were lost in each other for a few minutes until I heard an amused individual clear their throat in an almost comical fashion. I whipped around and saw Aro. I took a step towards him wanting to explain, when I heard the worst sound in the world. Edward was screaming in pain and agony behind me. I turned around to see a large fire with choking purple smoke. I screamed, opened my eyes, and was suddenly back in my room in Volterra.

I had these waking nightmares all the time. Becoming a killer for the Volturi in the name of justice gave me plenty of material to fuel my thoughts. Therefore, in the evenings when I remained quiet in my room, allowing my now grown daughter to sleep, I tried to relax as much as I could. However, most nights I would relax too far and go into a meditative state where I would get close to dreaming. As far as I knew, I was the only vampire who was able to have these waking dreams. Aro was completely perplexed by them. However, after all this time he had accepted them and was no longer surprised when I screamed out in the night. My waking dreams were always nightmares and they were always centered on Edward. Even after nine and a half years, I never stopped loving him. My heart was still his alone. I still felt like there was a huge hole in my now silent heart, and even though I did not need to breathe, the idea was still excruciating. Unfortunately, I had to breathe excessively often for my own liking. I relied far too much on my sense of smell.

This version of my dream was a new one. It was not some twisted version of the past; it seemed like something in my near future. I knew that there was no way I was going to be back in that area of the country and that the Cullens would never venture back there so soon after leaving. I also knew that I was no Alice and I did not have the power to see the future. Maybe the waking dreams based in reality were no longer as effective, and so my brain had conjured up a new version of Edward and losing him painfully again. It has been nine and half years since I became a member of the Volturi and I still missed Edward as much as I had since the day I woke in a hospital bed when I realized that my promise ring was gone, and so was he.

A few moments later I heard a soft voice say my name on the other side of the door. Swiftly but quietly I crossed the room and swung the heavy door open. On the other side stood Alec, looking like he was in a great hurry.

Alec took in a quick breath and said, "Bella, we have to go now. There is a mission of the utmost importance. The council has just learned of a large newborn army that is rapidly decimating some of the less inhabited areas of South America. We have to go deal with this now. Wake up Ness, let her know, and then follow me. We have to hurry before things get worse."

I gave Alec one short nod and walked over to my daughter.

"Ness, Ness, wake up!" I said loudly in my daughter's ear.

After a moment, Renesmee's eyes fluttered open and she looked up at me in surprise.

"Ness, I have an emergency mission in South America. We have to go take down a large newborn army. I will be back as soon as I can. Do me a favor and stay out of Aro's way as much as you can," I hurriedly said to her as I rushed around the room at vampire speeds, packing up what I would need.

Once I had everything ready to go, I dropped my bag by the door and moved swiftly over to my daughter. There was very little chance that anything would go wrong but the chance did exist that we would encounter powers that could best our own, so I never left Volterra without telling my daughter how much I loved her.

So I said, "Ness I love you so much. I'll be home to you as soon as I can. You know where the letter is in the event I don't make it back."

Ness rolled her eyes at the mention of the letter. She knew it was important, but I still reminded her about it every time I left. The letter contained the real name of her father and their family. I had already told the council that if anything were to happen to me, they were responsible for sending my daughter home to her father. I knew it was the only place she would be safe if the worst happened and I was destroyed. Swiftly, I grabbed my bag and followed Alec down the hall to the main chamber.

When we arrived, Aro swiftly stood up from his throne-like chair and walked over to me.

Gently Aro hugged me and kissed both of my cheeks before addressing the now fully assembled guard with, "As I am sure you are all now well aware, we have a newborn problem that needs to be taken care of. You will go to South America, flying into Rio de Janeiro. Once there, you will run to a remote location in the jungles. There you will find a newborn army numbering close to thirty we believe. A vampire named Maria is controlling them. From the intelligence we have gathered, she is building an army to march on Volterra. We need to eliminate the threat now, before they are able to make the trip to our fair city."

At Maria's name, I gasped. I was fairly certain from Aro's description that she was the same Maria who had turned Jasper. Although I knew very little about Edward's adopted brother's life before the Cullens, I was aware that she was very violent and her newborns would be well trained.

Doing something I had never dared before, I spoke up and addressed the group, "I have some familiarity with this vampire's reputation. Maria will have trained her newborns, probably in a military fashion. These men and women were probably snatched from different military installations. She would also actively search for vampires with potential powers. This may be more than a simple newborn army and we may need to do some additional observation before deciding on the best plan of attack. In addition, she is extremely skilled, knowing when to attack and when to run. She survived the newborn wars by creating carefully concealed military-based groups."

Suddenly, all eyes in the room were on me with expressions ranging from shock and awe to respect and disbelief.

Aro looked at me quizzically and said, "Bella, do you care to share your source for information?"

I hesitated for a moment and then carefully said, "One member of a coven that I used to know was created by Maria and worked for her back in the days of the American Civil War. At that point, she was in Texas. His job was to train her newborns and make them ready for battle. Even though he left, I am sure he has been replaced by someone just as competent."

Aro looked at me for a moment, wanting to press for more information. This was the most I had said about my life before Volterra and I could see the raging curiosity in his eyes. I looked at Aro with a determined expression and slowly shook my head back and forth. I was not going to say anything more on the matter. This mission was going to be very dangerous indeed. After a few more comments and some slight changes to our orders in response to my information, we made our way to the darkly tinted cars and zoomed towards the airport.

The flights seemed to take forever. We flew into New York and then caught a connecting flight to Rio. We were on planes or in airports for over a day. This was the worst part of being sent on missions because you spent so much time traveling and lost in your own thoughts on the plane ride. Usually Alec sat with me in the plane, much to Jane's annoyance. Alec and I had stuck up an unlikely friendship. He was a good fighter and knew his purpose; however, unlike his sister he still had a heart and compassion for those we were forced to bring to justice. Unless there was a direct order from the council, when they were not present Alec always used his gift to help ease the suffering of the vampire that had been sentenced to death. Alec never pressed me for more than friendship, but I could tell that he cared for me deeply. The closer Alec and I became, the more Jane despised me. Alec had tried repeatedly to reason with his sister, but she would not listen. My personal opinion told me that Jane did not understand it because she completely bought into the Volturi. She loved the kill and her aggressive power. I often wondered where her sick enjoyment stemmed from and what she had been through to twist her so. She looked sickly excited every time she was allowed to use her skill and I knew she futilely tried it on me, hoping to catch me at a time when I had pushed my shield completely away from me. In my training I had learned how to do this, however once I had mastered it, I never did it again. I did not want Aro to be able to see my past and the life I had led before I became a member of the Volturi. I knew without a doubt that Aro would use it against me to hold me as a member of the guard. I was already fearful that he was going to use my daughter in that way.

Finally, we arrived in Rio. The moment our plane hit the ground we were off and running. It was dark outside and we knew we only had a short time to make it out of the city before the sun came up. Although our cloaks usually kept our skin covered in sunlight, we didn't like to use them that way if we could help it. We knew that all it would take would be one slip up and then we would expose the whole vampire world and ourselves. After an hour of running at top speeds, we got close enough to the location where Maria was and stopped. I blocked them from any mental attack and we stealthily moved in to run some surveillance. We placed ourselves up on a close mountain and looked down into Maria's camp. The numbers we had heard in Volturi were not high enough. Maria had close to fifty vampires in her possession. Most of these were newborns by the look of them. Newborns had brighter red eyes than traditional vampires could manage even if they completely gorged themselves on human blood. The thought of tasting human blood made me shiver slightly as we looked on. After a while, we were able to figure out some form of strategy. This was going to take some serious time and finesse. This was not going to be a fast, easy mission.

Almost three months later, we were finally close to completing our mission. The only thing we had left to do was kill Maria and a couple members of her guard that remained. We killed off her army in small pieces whenever she sent vampires to patrol or find out where the others had disappeared. Maria knew after a while what was happening but she could not guard her new creations all the time.

As we planned strategy, I announced to the group, "Maria is mine. I owe an old friend this debt. I want to be the one to take her out and burn her."

Everyone looked up at me in shock. Jane's face spread into a slight smile and Alec's face had an expression of horror that he quickly covered up.

I took in a slow breath and attempted to explain myself, "This vampire caused my friend a lot of grief. He left her because he found his mate. His mate is my best friend and we were all so close that I consider them family. I know that Maria has tried to ruin their lives on many occasions. I want to see her pay for the pain she has caused my friends."

They all looked at me again with a new sense of respect. Most of the guard thought that I was weak and ruled by what was left of my human emotions. Silently the vampires around me nodded their consent and we modified the strategy slightly to take into account that I was going to take Maria out.

Slowly, we entered the clearing where Maria was hiding and moved in perfectly practiced formation, every step synchronized. When we reached the other side of the clearing, we saw a small cave. Outside the cave stood two large and impressive newborn vampires. The rest of the guard made short, quick work of them. Then, we moved boldly through to the larger inside of the cave. Maria was huddled against the wall, whimpering in fear. We approached her, and then read her crime and sentence. Alec went to numb her mind and I decisively shook my head at him, motioning him to go back. I wanted her to feel this for Jasper.

I stepped forward on my own, leaned down to whisper in her ear so softly that only she would be able to understand, and said, "This is for Jasper Whitlock and what you stole from him. He never wanted the life that you forced on him. I will avenge my brother."

Maria looked up at me with wide eyes and whispered my name as a question. I nodded grimly at her and without further ado, separated her head from the rest of her body. Once we finished tearing the body to pieces and burning it, we ran away from the jungle wilderness towards Rio and Volterra. I was going back home to my daughter.

When we arrived back at the castle, I moved at vampire speed through the halls and located my daughter quickly by her scent. Once I found her, I threw my arms around her and hugged her with everything I had. Ness laughed at me and after a moment stepped back to look at me.

After a moment of staring at each other, I smiled at her and asked, "So, did you have fun while I was gone?"

She smiled back at me and excitedly said, "Yah, Mom, I had a great time. We had visitors while you were gone. Two other vampires that had eyes like yours. One of them was Carlisle Cullen and the other was a new member of his coven named Garrett. I guess Garrett is only with them for a short time. He is going to be moving to another coven soon, after meeting his mate in Alaska. Garrett had already agreed to accompany Carlisle here, though and so he did. He joked and said that he was excited for any chance to get away from the wedding planning."

I looked at my daughter in shock. However, apparently she was so engrossed in telling her story that she didn't notice. Carlisle had been here in Volterra. I was suddenly thankful for the length of our mission to South America. Running into Carlisle would have been awkward and difficult. He would have recognized me, which would have forced me to face Edward after all these years.

As I thought, Ness continued, "I guess he has a large coven of vampires who eat the same way you do, but he called them his family, not coven. From what Aro saw, Carlisle is completely devoted to them. Carlisle found me completely fascinating. He didn't know that such a thing was possible, and was sorry. that Aro had not been able to contact them about my birth. Carlisle kept staring at me and I finally asked him about it. He told me that I reminded him of his son, Edward. That his hair color was the same as mine, but my eyes were identical to someone else's he had known, and then for a minute, Carlisle started to cry. It was very strange, Mom. I liked Carlisle a lot, though. I promised to come visit him someday once we are free of Volterra."

Needing to know, I quickly asked, "Did you tell him my name?"

Renesmee looked at me strangely for a moment before saying, "No, Mom. In fact, Aro made it clear that I was not to use your name. I don't understand why."

I was curious about Aro's unusual request, but decided to worry about it later because I was hungry for any more information she might have about our absent family.

I rapidly spat out, "Did he say anything else of his family?"

Ness looked at me oddly for a moment.

I quickly came up with something and said in a calmer voice, "I have heard so much about all of them. I was curious about the family."

Ness breathed a long sigh and said, "Yah, he told me all about his family. They live in the state of Washington, right outside a city called Olympia. His daughter Alice is a fashion designer. She loves to shop and design clothing. He said that I would get along with her famously."

I grinned at this. My daughter loved to shop almost as much as her aunt did, at least the last time I saw her.

Ness continued with, "Jasper is Alice's mate; I guess he used to be a very happy guy, but Carlisle said that some kind of tragedy hit their family almost ten years ago and ever since Jasper is almost always sad. Rosalie is another daughter. She is gorgeous, apparently, and loves cars, and in the last couple of years she has designed her own line of cars that is currently about to roll out on the market. Her mate is Emmett I think. Carlisle said he tries to be happy for the family; but most of the time when he is on his own, he is a very sad person. Carlisle said they had all lost someone very dear to them and when she was gone, it severely affected the family. And then the other son Carlisle mentioned, Edward, used to be a musician, but now he spends his days and nights locked away in his room, only leaving to hunt. His mate disappeared a long time ago and he looked for her everywhere before settling into a deep, dark depression. I guess he has contemplated coming here to ask the Volturi to take his life but cannot get past his sister, Alice, who can see the future. The last member of the family beside Garrett is Esme, Carlisle's wife. They love each other very much. I could see it in his eyes. Apparently, Esme mothers the whole group, however, she is also sad at the loss of her future daughter, Edward's missing mate."

Pleased with herself at remembering all of it, Ness looked up at me and smiled. I looked back at her and forced one as well. I needed to get out and be alone. I had to process all this away from my little one's sharp eyes.

I came up with a quick excuse about needing to report to the council and ran from the room at vampire speeds. I ended up in the forest outside Volterra. When I knew that I was finally far enough away that no vampires would hear me, I broke down into gut wrenching sobs. Edward and his family had moved on. Edward had found another. He had fallen in love and wept over the loss of whoever she was. The girl that Kate had mentioned was much more than a mere distraction. I was suddenly furious, betrayed, and sad all at once. Whoever this woman was, she had been for him what I could not be. I hated the fact that it was so easy for him to move on from me. He truly had never really loved or wanted me. Jasper's attack on me had been his excuse to get away. He had asked me to promise to marry him out of guilt because he had slept with me. The puzzle pieces all fell into place and created a nasty image for me. I had told myself this was the case repeatedly, but now, being confronted with the idea of this other woman that Edward loved, it was finally sinking into my head and heart. I sat there on the forest floor and completely lost track of time. I had no idea what was going on around me besides my own grief. The hole in my chest was wide open and bleeding again, worse than it ever had. After some time had passed, I heard the soft steps of another vampire behind me. I whipped around and saw Alec behind me. Alec looked at me and after a split second recognized the pain etched so deeply in my face. Swiftly, he crossed the remaining distance and wrapped his arms around me, cradling me into him. I turned my head into his chest and broke down into dry sobs again.

Once I finally calmed down, I focused on Alec's face. His expression was one of agony. He hated seeing me like this, especially since he knew it was over someone I loved dearly. I knew that Alec had feelings for me; however, he had never expressed them directly. I was so thankful for the friendship he had given me and was going to miss him when I left Volterra.

I carefully said, "Thank you Alec, for being here for me. I am going to miss you when I leave Volterra, my friend."

I knew I had to communicate to him again that all I wanted from him was friendship and that I was not able to give him anything more than that. Edward was lost to me forever, but my heart would not allow me to love someone else. I didn't know if I would ever be able to love again. The expression on Alec's face at my statement was painful. He seemed to understand exactly what I was saying. He looked at me long and hard before he nodded once and ran from me as fast as he could. I knew he was going to need time to get over me and accept the fact that I was actually going to leave. I only had three months left to serve in the guard and it was time to tell Aro that I wouldn't be staying.

We are getting closer to Edward and the Cullens I promise. The dreams at the beginning of this chapter were one of the few major differences from SM's writing I have done with this story. I chose to give his this ability because her dreams were such a huge part of her life before she was turned.

Let me know what you thought of this chapter *hides*

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