I had my usual busy Saturday, cramming in my baking class, shopping, fighting, and as much homework as I could. Sunday, I stayed in bed all day. I was on my period, and had horrible cramps and fatigue.
Yeah, I get a period. It only lasts one day though. The fact that human females are able to withstand a week of it moves my respect for them up about ten notches. Since my period is so brief, Carlisle thinks any window of opportunity I might possibly have to become pregnant is very brief. I mean, you know how humans go through a phase of optimal fertility where they are very likely to become pregnant? Well my phase is a lot shorter. It's practically impossible.
The school week was mostly filled with Alec. He is rapidly becoming my entire life. Our relationship is developing quickly, a concern to my parents, but I could care less. He is sweet and funny and romantic (or at least he puts in a good amount of effort to be) and totally gorgeous.
Alec and I stand outside my French class, his lips molded against mine, my hands running down his chest. I pull back to give him some air and take some for myself also.
He smiles at me and breathlessly says, "I'm not quite sure I'm ever going to get used to that."
"What? A girl stopping a kiss with you? I agree, that must be a big adjustment for you." I tease, rolling my eyes.
He chuckles lightly and smirks as he replies, "Well that too, but I actually meant kissing you."
A deep scarlet blush threatens to bombard my cheeks but I battle it off. He is so sweet, I only wish I knew how to react when he says things like that. I don't have to though, because the warning bell rings then.
"I have to go, but I was thinking, we should sit with your family today at lunch. I sort of want to get to know them." He smiles and then runs off before I can respond. I am left frozen in shock. He wants to meet my family for real today? Why can't he be content just looking at them like Sierra and Eddie?
I am mortified as I go through my morning classes in a fog. I'm not ready for Alec to unknowingly meet my parents yet. I try to come up with a few plans, but everything involves lying, which Alec picks up on like metal to a magnet.
"Shouldn't I be the nervous one?" Alec asks with a care-free smile as we walk hand-in-hand across the lunch room, every step taking us farther away from my safe zone and closer to pure embarrassment and awkwardness.
I don't say anything, knowing whatever I do say they will hear, while screaming in my head Please be nice to him! Don't humiliate me! Make sure Uncle Em minds his manners! Stop Alice from doing anything too weird! Don't let Rose glare! Dad looks over at me, nodding minutely with a smile playing on his lips. Then he begins to talk to my family in a low voice, explaining the situation.
"If you start feeling too awkward," I tell Alec, "then just kick me under the table. I'll get us out of there. And please don't hesitate to do it. It's really fine by me."
"Stop worrying, Carlie. Things will go smoothly. I'll try not to embarrass you too much." He rolls his eyes.
I can't reply because we are here. I speak before Alec can, "Um, hey guys. Alec and I thought it would be nice to sit with you today. He wants to meet you." I grab two chairs from a nearby table, pushing them up to my family's table. I hear Alec's heart begin to race as he sits down. His earlier bravado disappears. He mistakes his instincts to run as first-meeting jitters.
"Well that is very kind of you two. It's a pleasure to meet you Alec, I'm Bella." Mom reaches her hand across the table to him. He winces at the icy coldness of her skin, but shakes it nonetheless. It was weird for me to watch him shake hands with my mother and father and not even realize it. He also shook hands with my uncles and aunts and thought he was meeting my siblings.
"It's great to finally meet you all. Carlie talks about you guys all the time." Alec gives them his heart-melting grin, the one I can never resist. It doesn't seem to have quite the same effects on them, but it certainly carries a dose of charisma with it.
"I hope she says good things. If she has ever mentioned that I am a shopaholic lunatic, she is exaggerating." Alice smiles at him somewhat mischievously.
"Oh, please. That would be an understatement." Rose laughs.
"She might have said something like that." Alec chuckles, grabbing my hand under the table. I give his hand a squeeze and feel his tension ease ever so slightly.
"So Alec, play any sports?" Em asks, trying to make his smile friendly, but his bounty of muscle and made-for-killing-punier-men physique makes it hard to seem friendly.
"I play a little baseball and soccer in the spring." Alec stammers a bit, nervous as hell, which is very understandable.
"Ah, he's a baseball man. I bet you like that, N- Carlie." Emmett quickly covers while wagging his eyebrows playfully. I want to slap my palm to my forehead and I can see Rose's hand twitching to smack him upside the head.
"You play?" Alec asks, looking down at me in surprise.
"Hell yes!" Emmett booms, attracting stares of nearby tables and causing Alec to wince. "She loves to play." The sexual innuendo is very lame and Alec doesn't catch on to it.
"We should play sometime." Alec grins at me and Emmett snorts.
"We all love to play. You should bring him around sometime in the Spring and we can all play." Alice says cheerfully. Emmett has to cough to cover his guffaws as the color drains from my face. I shake my head no vigorously, but when Alec looks down at me, I shift my expression into an optimistic smile.
"Sounds great." I squeak. Thankfully, my stalling plans had sort of worked and we had arrived at lunch pretty late. The early bell rings, which is for people that travel a long way to their next class. My class is far away, but I usually wait a while because I'm pretty fast. But today, I think leaving now would be an excellent idea.
"Well, we have to go." I announce, standing up abruptly. Alec stands with me.
"It was great to finally really meet you all. I'll see you in Spanish, Alice." He smiles at her, and then I pull him away by our interlocked hands.
I drove Alec home after school, but I went in with him. We've decided to watch a movie at his house tonight, something private you know? It's a Friday, so I can be out late. We head up to his theater room and he puts on a random movie. I snuggle into his side, my head resting on his chest and his arms around me.
Again, I find it's hard to get into the movie with Alec around. His lips kiss my hair repeatidly, and his fingers play mindlessly with the strap of my tank top, moving it up and down my shoulder. After about five minutes, I'm done pretending to watch. I twist myself around, my lips meeting Alec's.
He is surprised, but seems just as eager for the contact as I am. He grabs me and pulls me down on the couch so I am on top of him, my legs straddling his hips, my arms supporting myself on either side of his chest. My lips never once leave his. His hands slide down my waist and hips then slide back up, clutching my waist.
After a few minutes, we both calm down the lustiness. I lay back on the couch, trying to regulate my breathing and not let him see me practically panting. He does the same, but too bad for him I can hear his heart pounding rapidly.
Alec squeezes into the narrow slice of space between me and the back of the couch, wrapping his arms around my waist. His head rests on my chest, using my breasts as some sort of pillow and enjoying it way too much, but I'm too amused to stop him.
"You're so soft and warm. Better than any bed." He sighs contentedly, holding me impossibly tighter. I giggle, playing with his silky, thick black hair. We finish off the movie without anymore talking. I get up and stretch, and he turns off the projector. As we are walking downstairs, I feel his eyes on me from behind. I turn in confusion, giving him a pointed what-the-hell-are-you-staring-at look. He laughs at my expression.
"Sorry, sorry." He laughs. "I was just wondering how you do that." He nods towards my feet.
"What, walk?" I ask, staring at him like he is insane because he really sounds that way right now.
"Yeah, sort of. You walk differently. You look like you're practically floating. Every step is perfect and graceful. Like better than a model or something. How do you walk like that?" His dark brows knit together in confusion.
"I'm not any more graceful than other girls." I tell him with a small laugh. Not one of my best lies, but what else could I have said?
"It's killing me, Carlie. All the lies and the secrets. I can't figure you out at all, and I'm dying. I wish you could realize you can trust me with whatever you're hiding." He sighs sadly. By now we are at the landing of the stairs. I am a little taken aback by him thinking it's because I can't trust him that I'm not telling him. Alec is a trustworthy person, and although we haven't reached the point yet where I would be confident in him being able to keep my secret, I know deep in my heart that he could even if I blurted it out right this moment.
I whirl around to face him, staring up at him with as much sincerity and intensity as I can muster up. "I trust you, Alec. I trust you so much. It's not that I am worried you'll tell anyone," although, secretly, I am "it's just that I don't want you to have to deal with it. And that's all I'm going to say." I turn back around and walk into his kitchen, hopping up on a bar-stool.
He walks up to me and kisses me chastely as sort of an apology. "So, you up for a grilled cheese?" He asks with a boy-like grin. Grilled cheese is Alec's specialty.
"Maybe I should cook for you today." I smile slightly, getting up.
"Fine by me, wifey." He takes my place at the bar-stool. My heart flutters slightly when he calls me wifey. Oh, I wish.
"Hm, are you in the mood for a snack or a meal?" I ask, going through his cabinets and drawers to get a feel of the place. I can easily find things just by inhaling the air, but it will seem much more normal if when I immediately am able to find the paprika, unseen and misplaced at the back of a cabinet filled with glass bowls, if I have already gone through everything.
"Something sweet." He says, leaning back in his bar-stool.
"Do you like chocolate?" I ask, remembering he had eaten vanilla cake at Alissia's party. But didn't I see him eat a chocolate chip cookie last week at lunch? He usually sticks to fruits though, so I don't know much about his eating habits outside of that realm. Other than he is practically a bottomless pit, yet the food seems to magically melt into muscle on him.
"What kind of growing teenage boy do you think I am?" He scoffs. I smile, and glance around the kitchen.
"Does Arianna have an apron I could borrow?" I ask him. He leaps up and goes into the pantry, returning a second later with a long yellow robe that says Kiss Me, I'm Italian in curling red letters on the front. He slides the strap over my head and around my neck, then slides behind me and begins tying the strings around my waist, tightly but not too tight, swatting my hand away when I try to pull my hair out from under the thick strap around my neck.
He comes back in front of me, pulling my hair out himself and smoothing it down around my shoulders. He observes me in the bright yellow apron, my bronze curls splayed around me, smiling slightly at him, and seems pleased at what he sees.
"You have no idea how much I love this." He grins, still scanning me from head to toe. I can practically see the vision in his head of us ten years from now, married with little feet running around the house, me in this very same apron handed down to me from Arianna as a house-warming gift, preparing dinner for our family. I can see Alec, older, more intelligent, wiser, facial structure more manly and defined, muscles still the same because I can't imagine him letting himself fall out of shape, black hair trimmed shorter and more professionally, his green eyes still sparkling brightly. I know that in ten years, I would still see him as I do now. I would see him as everything. My whole world. Outshining the sun, stars, and moon.
Alec, feeding off of my thoughts too, crashes his lips onto mine. The passion and desire is almost overwhelming. He moves his lips roughly against mine, yet it still feels so good. His breathing is hard and heavy, grabbing my waist and hoisting me up onto the counter. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling us as close as two people can possibly be. Our tongues are mixed together, the kiss hot and spicy, and the thirst urging me to take a sip. All the desire is too much. I pull back and lower me head to his neck. I smile sinisterly and head for his jugular.
"Alec, we're home!" A maternal female voice calls out. Red hot anger pulses through me. Who dares to interrupt my meal? Suddenly, images begin to flood through my head. Arianna, Alissia, Alec. Three people who mean so much to me. Three people who the monster inside of me is insisting I murder at this moment.
My teeth graze against Alec's neck and he gasps slightly, then his breathing stops, feeling the sharp coolness like a knife blade pressed against his flesh. It takes every ounce of my strength and self control to push him away and hop off the counter just as Arianna walks in, hand clutching Alissia's.
"Well, hello Carlie. I hadn't realized Alec was having you over tonight." She smiles warmly at me.
"Oh, I didn't mean to intrude.. I'll go." I smile, actually pleased about this. It'll give me some time before I have to see Alec again and face his questions. He knows I was about to bite him, that I'm sure of. I can see the confusion in his eyes as he glances over at me.
"Don't be ridiculous. Alissia and I ate out already though, so I guess you're stuck with Alec's grilled cheese." She looks sympathetically at me although slightly amused. Then she notices the apron on me, and, startled, looks over at Alec, who is already looking sheepish, and says, "Alexander! You do not invite a lady into your home and make her cook for you!"
"I offered," I hurriedly pipe in, "and I really don't mind. I love cooking, my mother taught me how."
Arianna studies me for a moment, making sure I'm not lying out of courtesy, and then her face softens and she smiles, "Alright then. But don't let Alec bully you around. He can be quite manipulative when he wants to be." She looks at him fondly and knowingly I look at him too, wondering how such a cherubic boy could be accused of being manipulative, until I glance at those mischievous eyes of his.
"I'll keep him in check." I promise Arianna, smiling affectionately at Alec also, who seems to be enjoying all the attention be it negative or not.
"Hi Carlie." A meek voice says from Arianna's side. I had completely forgotten Alissia was even in the room. She is so thin and tiny!
"Hi Alissia, how are you?" I smile at her, noticing again how tired she seems. She gives me a small smile, and then releases her mother's hand and crosses the space between us. I kneel down just as she throws herself at me, arms wrapping around my neck, face buried into the hair on my shoulder. I hug her gently, breathing in her sweet scent. But instead of a sweet scent, my nostrils are attacked with something foul. I have smelled it a million times before, considering Carlisle is a doctor. It is the smell of a cancer patient, particularly someone going through chemotherapy. I have to force my body from going rigid, while sneakily glancing at her hair. How had I not noticed the patches of blonde waves missing?
I pull back, a smile plastered painfully on my face, and say to her, "Do you like brownies? I am making some for your brother."
She nods vigorously, but then looks up at Arianna for confirmation on her decision. Arianna smiles down at her sadly, "Yes, that is very kind of you Carlie. We would love some. First we need to go moisturize, Alissia. Come on." Arianna holds out one hand. Alissia kisses me on the cheek with dry lips chastely, and the goes to Arianna. They disappear from the kitchen.
I can feel the blood drain from my face. I look over at Alec, my eyes begging for answers. He studies me, and then realizes I have realized that his little sister has cancer. He sighs, "She has had it for a long time. It has always been minor, no need for chemo or anything, and usually only stayed for a little while before disappearing. Then, just as my father was deployed to Afghanistan it came back with a vengeance. She just started chemo last week."
"What type does she have?" I whisper numbly, staring blankly at the wall behind him.
"Acute leukemia." He says back, just as quiet and emotionless.
"It's stronger this time than the others?" I ask for confirmation.
"I don't know if she can get rid of it this time. She has always been fragile, and chemo is just harsh. My mom has already pulled her from school and hired a trained nurse to watch over her while she goes to work."
"That's expensive." I observe, wondering how they're getting by in this nice house while Alissia undergoes chemo, their father is away, and they have to hire a nurse for hours every day.
"We're thinking about moving into an apartment. And I've been looking for a job." He explains, and I feel so horrible. I hadn't even noticed their situation.
"Switch hospitals. My father will help you. He'll get you the treatment for free." I insist, wondering if Carlisle could even do that.
"I can't ask that of your family, Carlie. That's way too much. This is why I didn't want you to find out." He walks back to his barstool dejectedly, resting his elbows on the counter and burying his face in his hands.
"Alec.. Please. Let me help. I can help. This isn't about you, or us, it's about Alissia. She needs the best, and my dad can give it to her. I swear on it. Please." I walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He turns into me, snuggling his face into the curve where my neck meets my shoulders. He doesn't cry, just wraps his arms around my waist and holds me tightly. I rest my cheek on the top of his head, his hair feeling like silk against my skin. His Old Spice cologne smells like home to me, reminding me this is where I belong. In his arms is my place.
After a minute, I lay a tender kiss on the top of his head and step away from the sweet embrace while whispering, "Think about it."
He doesn't say another word, but by his expression I know he is thinking about it seriously.
He watches me move around the kitchen, checking his freezer for vanilla ice cream and very pleased when I find it. I leave it in there and go preheat the oven. Then I find some flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt, soy milk, vanilla extract, brown sugar, and water. I spend about ten minutes making it, then slide the finished product into the oven to heat and harden.
"It's like having my own personal chef." Alec says in awe as I turn around to face him, most if the sadness disappearing from his eyes.
I smile, taking the apron off and setting it on the counter. He pats his lap, and I walk over to him and take a seat sideways, my legs hanging over the side if the chair.
"You're beautiful, baby." He whispers, nuzzling my neck, reminding me of the almost-bite. Thankfully it seems to have slipped from his mind. I know it's only a matter of time before it resurfaces though. And only a matter of time before everything clicks into place and he realizes I'm not like other girls, or even other humans at that.
But until then, I am happy to sit in his arms, feel his lips against mine, bake him food, hold Alissia on my lap, and feel like part of his family. Until then..
A/N: I don't know much about cancer patients and how they cope going through chemo, especially young ones, so don't get too put out with me if I make mistakes on what Alissia would be like and what she would be feeling!
Anyways, FF has been not letting a lot of people upload stories, so that's why I haven't updated in a while. Sorry for the delay!
xoxo -JCBMA-