"What the fuck," Jack yelled, "of all the stupid, idiotic, hare-brained things to do. What were you thinking?"
"Hey," John protested, "It wasn't my fault. How was I supposed to know they were cheating?"
"Not your fault," Jack spluttered, "Not your fucking fault. How is not your fault? You lost the ship in a card game. He turned to the young Welshman, "surely you can see now why you can't choose him. The man's a lunatic."
"That's not fair," yelled John, "Stop slagging me off in front of Eye-candy. Shouldn't that be rule number one."
"I wasn't slagging you off. I was just pointing out why he shouldn't choose you."
"Well if we're just pointing things out," John sneered, "maybe I should list all the reason why you're not good boyfriend material, maybe I should tell him about the time..."
"Shut up!" Ianto bellowed, "just shut up both of you and please tell me we can get home using John's wrist strap thingy."
The two former Time Agents glared at each other.
"We can," Jack snarled, not taking his eyes from John's, "but it's not that easy. We've only got one working vortex manipulator. We can travel through space with my wrist strap but only John's can open a portal in time and it isn't really meant for three people. We could do it in two runs, John could take you first and come back for me, but I don't trust him. He'd tell you he came back and couldn't find me or I didn't want to come or something."
"I wouldn't do that."
"Yes, you would if it meant you could have him to yourself. We all know how ruthless you can be if you want something badly enough."
"That was the old me," John sighed, "are you ever going to learn to trust me again."
"Whadda ya mean, again?" Jack growled, "I've never trusted you."
John crossed his hands over his chest,
"Oh, you wound me, Captain," he joked.
Jack looked angrily at him and shook his head.
"Whatever. It doesn't matter. I think I can make some adjustments to my wrist strap so that we can use it to increase the size of the portal, make it big enough for three people. It will take a few weeks to calibrate the modifications though."
"Ah," John interjected, "okay, but we might have to hide out somewhere quiet while you do it."
Jack groaned.
"Don't worry," John assured him, "there's every chance they didn't call the authorities."
"Who didn't...? Oh never mind, I really don't want to know..." At least Ianto will get to see what he's like now, Jack thought, he'll never choose hi.....Oh fuck. Ianto was gazing wistfully at John with a huge grin on his face.
"I bet it's really exciting hanging with you," he laughed, dipping his head towards the former Time Agent.
John grabbed him around the waist, "You better believe it, sweetheart," he slurred. Ianto giggled at the perfect impersonation of a 1920's gangster and the two men shared a look which made Jack's nerves twang.
"Ahem," he barked, "Rule number 2, no gratuitous flirting."
"Oh," Ianto pulled away from John, blushing furiously.
"Ya know," Jack grinned, "you look so cute when you're embarrassed."
John folded his arms and tapped his foot on the ground impatiently.
"Gratuitous flirting, Captain," he snapped.
The Welshman rolled his eyes.
"This could go on all day," he sighed, "how about we find somewhere quiet to lie low like John says, and then you can make those adjustments you were talking about."
"Fine by me,"
Jack grabbed hold of John's wrist, punching the coordinates into his manipulator. Before anyone could protest, he took Ianto's hand, punched the same coordinates into his own wrist strap and disappeared with him. John tutted before following them.
As soon as Ianto's world stopped spinning, he dropped to the ground, his knees sinking into the soft sand beneath him.
"Whoa," Jack laughed, "easy there, Tiger."
John appeared as Ianto was staggering to a standing position, leaning on the immortal for support. He rushed over to them and put his arm around the young Welshman.
"Are you okay?" he worried.
"Thanks," Ianto gasped, breathing heavily, "I'm fine. Phew, that was....." he looked around him, "Oh," he said, "I thought we couldn't travel in time, why have you brought us somewhere prehistoric."
John barked out a laugh which Ianto ignored.
"I mean, it's a bit bleak isn't it? I thought Cardiff was bad but this is worse. There's nothing here but sand, and," he sniffed distastefully, "it smells funny."
John fell on the floor in a fit of giggles, gasping for breath.
"It's not that funny," Jack snarked.
"Oh, yes it is," John laughed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, "it's fucking hilarious. The first time you bring anyone home since..well, me. And he thinks it's....oh dear," he wheezed desperately clutching at his sides, "he thinks it's prehistoric. And it..... stinks."
"H, home," Ianto stammered, "this is where you grew up."
Jack glared at both of them. He stuck his nose in the air haughtily,
"Yes it is," he sulked, "I was going to show you all my childhood haunts but since you think it stinks I won't bother." He stalked away, climbing a nearby sand dune and disappearing over the top of it.
"Jack wait up," Ianto called after him, "Jaa-ack, I'm sorry, come back please. It's not that bad. It's kinda......quaint?" he added hopefully.
John collapsed on to his side, rolling about in the sand and laughing uncontrollably.
When Ianto reached the top of the sand dune, he stopped dead at the sight before him. Below, nestled among the sand dunes and the palm trees was a tiny flat, roofed house, of the kind from the biblical epics he used to watch with his grandmother on Sunday afternoons. In front of the house was a woman wearing a long hessian skirt and resting a laundry basket on her hip. As Ianto watched, the women dropped the basket, rushing towards Jack and throwing her arms around him. Ianto felt as if he was intruding on a private moment and he turned his back, dropping down below the level of the sand dune's peak. He smiled at John as the former Time Agent flopped on to the sand next to him.
"How's the big reunion with Mama Hunter going."
"Who?"
"Jack's Mom," John explained.
"That's Jack's Mam?"
"This is Jack's home. Who do you think it would be?"
"I can't believe Jack grew up in a place like this. I thought my family were dirt poor but he had less than I did. It's no wonder he's always so impressed by 21st Century technology. The first time I showed him my ipod I thought he was going to have an orgasm over it. It always struck me as odd but now I understand, it's because he had no technology growing up."
John put his arm around his shoulder.
"Jack had nothing," he said, "his parents were part of a group of people who believed in living simply without technology. A bit like the Amish people of your time."
"Jack's Amish?" Ianto grinned.
"Sort of, yeah."
"Maybe we should...." he nodded over the top of the sand dune.
"Nah," John responded, "best leave them for a bit. Jack's emotions are all over the place."
"How do you kn....Oh yeah, of course. I forgot for a minute."
John took the Welshman's hand and brought it up to his lips. He ran his thumb over the knuckles and pressed their heads together. The younger man sighed happily.
"You can feel that," John smiled.
"Yeah. It's like...............you're in my head. I can't hear your thoughts but I can feel you."
"This place always brings out mixed emotions for Jack. Before the monsters came he and Grey had an idyllic childhood. He used to talk about this place all the time, about what it was like growing up here. The games he used to play with Grey and his Dad. His Dad was a good man by all accounts, unlike my father.........or yours."
"I've never told you anything about my Dad."
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry but I can feel it, the emotions you associate with the word."
"Oh," Ianto said, sadly, "Yeah. He was a drunk and a bully and I don't like to talk about it."
"I once heard you talking to that pretty PC about how he used to take you to the movies on Saturday mornings."
Ianto laughed bitterly.
"Lies," he stated simply, "my Dad never took me anywhere. Well, that's not true; he once took me to the park and pushed me off the swing. He broke my leg."
"My Dad used to beat me too. When he turned on my little sisters I couldn't stand it anymore."
"What did you do?"
"I shot him."
"Ha," Ianto laughed.
"You're not shocked?"
"Nah, I wish I had the guts to do it. What happened to you?"
"I was 12 years old. They put me in a special prison for children. I was 19 before they let me out again."
Ianto turned his face towards the former Time Agent and John's breath caught in his throat. The wave of love and compassion he felt directed at him was almost too much. Without breaking eye contact, the young Welshman slowly leaned in and placed a kiss on the older man's lips. Their lips stuck together as they pulled apart and Ianto licked his before leaning in again. John pulled himself onto his knees and used his body weight to push the younger man on to his back. Ianto's hips bucked as John climbed on top of him.
"Rule number 3!"
Ianto jerked in surprise at the sound of Jack's voice, scrambling backwards in an attempt to shove John off. John refused to move, resting his forehead on the Welshman's chest and groaning in frustration.
"Okay, I haven't worked out rule number three yet," Jack went on, "but when I do" he kicked the former Time Agent, pushing him off Ianto and sending him rolling a few feet down the sand dune "it will definitely involve you not having sex with him."
"That doesn't seem fair," Ianto murmured.
Jack's eyes flashed with hurt and anger.
"I mean to say," Ianto explained, his voice wobbling slightly, "none of this is fair, I didn't ask to feel like this. I love you but I love him too and I can't stand it when you fight with him all the time."
Jack felt all his anger melt away as Ianto struggled to maintain his composure. He dropped to his knees next to the younger man and wrapped his arms around him. He caught John's eye over Ianto's shoulder and gave the former Time Agent a half smile. He gave a resigned sigh and gestured for John to join them, pulling him into a three way hug when he'd dropped on to the sand beside them. He kissed first Ianto and then John, placing chaste kisses on both their foreheads.
"I've just worked out rule number three," he said, "no fighting in front of Ianto," he looked into John's eyes, "agreed?"
"Agreed," John smiled.
Jack chose to keep his mother in the dark about what had happened to him since the last time they had met, though it was clear she knew a profound change had come over him. What for her had been a few short years, had been over 150 for him and he hadn't expected to see her again.
Despite his stroppiness over Ianto's initial reaction to his home planet, Jack had shown him all his childhood haunts. He'd opened up to the Welshman, talking to him in a way he never had before. In return, Ianto told the immortal the truth about his own childhood, putting right some of the lies he'd told about his background.
John had stayed out the way for the most part and Ianto loved him all the more for it. Despite their lack of physical contact, their psychic bond didn't diminish. Ianto could feel John's presence in his mind all most all the time, though the former Time Agent taught him how to tune it out when he wanted to.
All too soon, the adjustments to the wrist strap were made and it was time to say goodbye. John and Ianto hugged Jack's Mum, thanking her for hospitality, then walked a little way up the hill to give the immortal some privacy to say his own goodbye. They knew he'd probably never see her again.
Jack's eyes were red and swollen when he caught them up. The other two men shared a look but didn't say anything, knowing he'd talk about it if he wanted to.
"You ready to go?" the immortal asked.
They nodded.
"Just one thing," Ianto said, "can we keep this thing between the three of us for now. Owen will have a field day if he finds out. He was bad enough about me and Jack, I don't want to think what he'll say about this."
"You've nothing to be ashamed of, Ianto," Jack assured him.
"I know, it's just you know what he's like."
"Fine, it's nothing to do with them anyway."
When Jack and John used their wrist straps to open the portal, Ianto couldn't see any difference in its size. For a second he thought the modifications hadn't worked. However, Jack took his arm and pushed him through the doorway and John followed closely behind. They tumbled together through the void, landing with a bump in a tangle of arms and legs.
When he'd regained some of his composure, Ianto scanned his surroundings. He frowned.
"You got the coordinates wrong," he murmured.
"No," Jack replied, "We didn't. Look, there's the water tower."
John came up behind them, resting his head on Ianto's shoulder.
"Erm, Jack?" he said, "Why is there a big hole where the Hub used to be?"