I had been able to keep the monster at bay for the last several hours. I wanted to focus on loving my wife instead of killing the life-sucking leech that would kill her. I knew that monster's murderous desires were just below my surface of control though. Every time I looked at Rosalie, I had to manage it with feral growl, soon it wouldn't matter and Bella would be dead.
I looked around the room, longing that it was last summer, the summer before our senior year in high school. Our relationship solidified and our love grew. She'd taught me to love and made me more human than monster. I Bella only knew how much my human side was hidden, shadowed by the monster, she would have been so disappointed. Moreover, she'd hate me, but it wouldn't matter, soon she'd be dead.
I'd even settle for alone time but Bella wouldn't agree. It was late in the night and the long white sofa was the only place, she would rest, if that's what you could call it. There were too many interruptions to properly relax, but I was relentless in my efforts to find her some rest. Every time she went to the bathroom, I tried to talk her into spending a few hours resting in bed.
"I want to be near my family, Edward," she whispered.
"We can bring the bed down for you." I offered.
"No. I couldn't see you, me, six other vampires and Jake in the same bed." She giggled a little.
"We'd use the hospital bed, Bella." Her joke was lost on me. Her attempt at humor was as distressing as the growing disaster in her body. My own monster was ready to end the suffering caused by my poor decisions.
"I'm sorry—I'm just tired of you being all miserable. Can you give me a smile at least?" She asked.
"It's just hard to see you like this." I tried a small grin, but guilt made it something more like a smirk. "But you're not going to stop this are you?"
"I won't." Her eyes closed and she was very quiet. Her face was pale. I leaned forward and kissed her lightly on her lips and along her jaw line, noting her temperature. There didn't seem to be a pattern between the hot and cold spells.
"Don't worry about me, please. You know me better than anyone and you know I can't be less than melancholy when it comes to something that causes you pain. So, don't worry about me. It's more important that you rest." I moved back to my seat next to her, my arm resting to cool her sweating body. I rubbed her shoulders. Her heart was working overtime and the massive amounts of excess blood circulating through her system caused her blood pressure to lower and then rise. This was probably the cause of her chills, but the cause of her fever was unknown, hopefully it was benign.
"The heat reminds me of Isle Esme. You stay closer to me when it's warm." She murmured.
"Bella, please rest." She was talking non-sense. I stayed closer, because there was no place for me to be, where else was there for me to go? I would never be more than a stone's throw away from her, even when her life ended.
"Okay." Her hand was rubbing her stomach, but her eyes were on me. I held my eyes to hers, trying to be emotionless as she declared her love to the murderer. I hid the monster's growl with music.
"Sleep." I started humming and within seconds Bella was softly snoring. Over the next few hours, whenever she was cold I switched off with Jacob so he could warm her. Whenever I was not in contact with her, the monster was wide awake, planning.
Just before dawn, Bella's face was flushed, so I woke up Jacob to move away from her and took his place. I was certain he didn't get much rest leaning against the side of the sofa, but he never complained or refused to help. Jacob decided that he'd fought for rest long enough and thought it was time for him to run patrol and relieve Seth.
"I'm pretty sure that Sam considers the treaty dead and that it is open season on vampires. We'll try to figure out how thin Sam is willing to spread his forces, whether he is looking for stray Cullens poaching on their land or not?" He outlined the trails he would follow.
"Thank you, if the route is clear, they'll go today."
"I'll let you know." He answered as he left the house.
"Back to the attic," Alice chirped as she flitted up the stairs. Edward, I'll take a look at the future when we go out hunting. Hopefully, being away from here will make things easier to see.
"Thanks, Alice." I puffed at the irony of the entire situation. This human girl turned my life into something of value. I had nothing, no one and no place. In return I am making her life end horribly. I blew out more air, certain that Bella wouldn't see it this way.
And as if I were predicting the future, Bella was awakened with a new horrible pain. She pulled her legs away from her stomach and the blanket fell to the floor. Bella turned her face into the sofa cushions and let out a muffled grunt as the creature turned inside of her. "Breathe, sweetheart," I said softly, while my monster considered the time it would take to sweep her away to the make shift operating room, barring the door and removing that horrid creature.
I heard the air enter her nose and her body relaxed as best it could. She had control of her limbs once again and she was able to speak, obviously the sharp pain had subsided. "I'm okay, just stretching."
Anger enveloped my monster and it groaned that Rose was too alert to allow its plan fruition. "Bella, stop trying to hide what's going on, we can't help you if you won't tell us what's going on." My own stupid words assaulted me, I knew what was going on – it was torturing her and I was helpless to stop it and so was that inept monster who resided in me.
"It's over, Edward." She turned her head to me, her eyes glistening from the tears that had just ceased. "The baby was just moving and . . . he's settled now."
Rosalie came closer to Bella, "Of course, it's over now. Babies are supposed to move around and it's only uncomfortable for a little while. Would you like something to drink?"
My hands forced themselves to touch Bella, instantly calming the monster's desire to pull Rosalie apart with them. I looked up to see Carlisle come into the room and stand sideways by the window, seeming to look at the sun rise over the meadow of our backyard, actually observing Bella. She's as well as can be expected, Edward, I believe it will be a couple more days before we will have to worry about a delivery, so try to relax.
I picked up the blanket and covered her back up. Rosalie placed the cup of blood in Bella's hand and Esme handed me a plate of food for Bella. I kneeled in front of the couch and turned to look out of the window, the morning sun rays lined the room and it had already been a long day.
I was able to get Bella to eat some of the food Esme fixed. It seemed that the larger that mound grew the more her desire for food diminished, but she did her best to eat. "How about a bowl of cereal?"
"This is fine." Bella opened her mouth for another bite of high protein pancake. Esme had started adding extra fats and supplements to Bella's meals. 'We've got to keep some meat on those bones,' Esme had said. She'd even added appetite enhancers to the cups of blood.
This was the third time that Bella had allowed me to feed her, the first was on our wedding day. It was an intimate moment for us both, although, she wasn't much for being pampered – always the one taking care of others. I was amazed at how this feeding made me feel—needed. The trauma surrounding us was a little further away during this time and then it occurred to me that even though I was feeding her, she was taking care of me. She knew I'd find some comfort in this simple task. I shook my head and sighed.
"What?" Bella asked.
"Nothing, really." I lied, there was no need to acknowledge my understanding of the gift she'd given to me, I'd let it comfort her. "I like how your face is filling out again."
"Between you and Esme, I'll be forty pounds overweight before long." She joked, another mouthful sliding down her throat. "I like this recipe; I'll have to cook Charlie some."
"I'm sure Esme will be glad to give you the recipe."
"Think I'll give him a call later today." She looked around the room for the first time since the sun had risen. "Where's Jacob?"
"He went on patrol and to check the routes to determine if it's clear enough for hunting."
"When will you go?"
"They will go as soon as Jacob gives the all clear signal." I knew I could withstand another week, besides if I were to lose control, only Rosalie would suffer.
"You really should go hunting, Edward. You haven't been since the honeymoon." She hadn't missed my emphasis that I was not leaving, she said sternly.
"It was a very big meal." I attempted to provide reassurance, there was no chance I would leave her, there would be time to feed, but not time with her. I shook my head, I had messed up our lives so royally.
"I shouldn't be the only one eating, would you like a sip?"
"No." My face lost its composure at the possibility that I would take nutrition from her; I'm sure she was joking, attempting to coax a smile.
"Lighten up, Edward." She gave me a little grin. "It's not like anyone was killed for it."
"Are you done eating?" I returned a grin, the only thing I could do to make her happy.
"Yes. It's time for a —" Her sentence was finished by a loud crack, it sounded like it came from her side. There was no scream, only a surprised squeal. The morning sun was barely peaking around the clouds, and there was mist covering the ground and my wife was again being subjected to a brutal assault. My monster's growled louder than Bella had squealed.
Carlisle sped over to the couch, "Where does it hurt?"
"It doesn't. It feels like my leg popped." Her face was contorted.
"But I heard a crack near her pelvis, Carlisle." I added, figuring my wife was downplaying her symptoms once again.
"I'm not sure I heard anything." Rosalie countered and the monster within me replied by freeing its hands and clawing.
"Let's get her upstairs and X-ray the area." Carlisle directed.
At those words, the monster retreated and I picked up my wife and gently carried her up the stairs and placed her on the table. The X-ray machine hummed as it passed over her legs. The electronic images showed no break in the leg or hip area.
"See, I told you I didn't hear a crack. You need your ears checked, Edward." Rosalie crowed.
I glared at Rosalie and didn't answer. The monster imagined itself pulling every limb from her body as it recalled the location of a flame, a match or a lighter.
"There was a pop." Bella corroborated. She put her hand on my face. "I'm just glad there isn't a break." Again my wife corralled that monster, and I carried her down the stairs, her pain was not subsiding, but it was bearable. I heard Jacob's voice as he made bogus plans with Alice to help me destroy Rosalie. I wouldn't need any help, the monster could handle this alone.
"Jake," Bella whispered, and she smiled through her hurt at the sight of him standing in the large room. I tried to compensate for my movements, but the pain was excruciating no matter how I carried her, her face frowned. I gently laid her on the couch and sat on the floor by her head as she petted my hair.
Carlisle came down slowly, behind Rosalie, the last one, his face creased with worry. He looked old enough to be a doctor for once. We need supplies and to hunt. They are hurting.
"Carlisle," Jacob called. "We went halfway to Seattle. There's no sign of the pack. You're good to go."
"Thank you, Jacob. This is good timing. There's much that we need." His black eyes flickered to the cup that Bella was holding so tight. The fetus will need blood, possibly Bella too, for the c-section.
"Honestly, I think you're safe to take more than three. I'm pretty positive that Sam is concentrating on La Push." Jacob added. Sam won't leave La Push unsecure in order to attack.
Carlisle nodded in agreement. "If you think so. Alice, Esme, Jasper, and I will go. Then Alice can take Emmett and Rosa—
"Not a chance," Rosalie hissed. "Emmett can go with you now."
"You should hunt," Carlisle said in a gentle voice.
"I'll hunt when he does," she growled, jerking her head toward me and then flipping her hair back.
Carlisle sighed. This is not good, she doesn't have the control. The monster could care less, it was her pain and if she did lose control—the monster and I would surely take care of her. Now it was my turn to protect Bella from Rosalie, although neither of them saw that threat.
Jasper and Emmett were down the stairs in a flash, and Alice joined them by the glass back door in the same second as Esme flitted to Alice's side. Jasper focused on his control and exuded so much relaxation through the room, that the monster within me calmed and Bella's body sunk more deeply into the couch.
Carlisle put his hand on Jacob's arm. "Thank you," he said again, and then he darted out the door with the other four. Jacob decided to stick around to ruin Rosalie's morning, I welcomed his distraction. He sat in the armchair closest to Rosalie with his feet near her face.
"Ew. Someone put the dog out," she murmured.
"Have you heard this one, Psycho? How does a blonde's brain cells die?"
Rosalie didn't say anything.
"Well?" He asked. "Do you know the punch line or not?"
She continued to ignore Jacob.
"Has she heard it?" He asked me.
I hadn't stopped looking at Bella, but I took a second to read Rosalie's thoughts—I hated it in there. "No."
"Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker—a blonde's brain cells die alone."
"I have killed a hundred times more often than you have, you disgusting beast. Don't forget that." Rosalie lied.
"Someday, Beauty Queen, you're going to get tired of just threatening me. I'm really looking forward to that."
"Enough, Jacob," Bella said her face was full of disappointment. I couldn't figure out why she took it out on Jacob when Rosalie was just as annoying.
"You want me to take off?" Jacob offered. I don't want to bug you.
"No! Of course not." She said emphatically.
There was a unified sigh from the rest of us. She wanted all of us here, regardless of how difficult it was between us. She hadn't even argued with Rosalie about her failure to go hunting. But I knew there was nothing that would make me point out the obvious to her. It made her happy for us to be here and none of us wanted her unhappy, a small price to pay for the discomfort we felt at the company we were forced to entertain civilly.
"You look tired, Jacob." Bella commented.
"Dead beat," He admitted.
"I'd like to beat you dead," Rosalie muttered, too low for Bella to hear.
"Rose, can I have a refill, please." Bella asked.
"Certainly," Rosalie blew upstairs for some more blood. I shifted away from Bella to allow the monster within me to take control and spirit her away while Rosalie was out of the room. I looked at Jacob who leaned back to take a nap his mind clearing, unaware that I was about to make my move to kill our mutual enemy.
The monster began to rejoice as it visualized our lifting my battered wife and slipping into the kitchen to remove the beast that lay within her stomach. It relished the pain that Bella would feel as I used the hidden scalpel that lay atop the refrigerator, and I abhorred what I would allow to happen. Her pain at the forced c-section would be short-lived for beside the scalpel lay a syringe of morphine that would lull Bella into sleep. I was grateful that no one had detected my crude medical kit because of the overpowering nauseous smell of food and its cooking hid the smell of morphine.
"Bella, I'm so sorry." I whispered so quietly no one could hear and I moved my hands to her, but then I heard my words repeated in my mind.
The voice in my head was novel, I'd never heard it before. It was strange, confusing, it was like it was agreeing with the monster within me. I looked deeper into Bella's eyes, concerned that she may have heard my lamented apology. It was so damn frustrating that at that moment I realized that the small voice I'd heard in my heard was too soft to be the monster.
Was it Bella's voice? Could it be that because she was so close to death, that maybe the gods of damnation were cruel enough to allow me to hear her thoughts? My hands shook unnecessarily as my mind wrapped itself around the cruelty of the moment - I'd hear her voice long enough to suffer with her last thoughts as she died.
The monster screamed within me to take her away to finish its duty and kill what was killing my wife, I didn't need to hear her thoughts – it was more important for her to live. I was too shaken to follow its wisdom. I always knew the mystery of my Miss Swan would be our undoing and that curiosity refused to allow me to succumb to my monster and instead to welcome the voice to my mind. "Did you say something?"
Jacob leaned forward and looked at me. No one said anything, Edward—your hearings as good as mine. You're hearing things. Okay so nothing was said out loud, so I was hearing someone's unfamiliar voice. I quickly scanned the house. I could hear Jacob's thoughts questioning my hearing. Rosalie was focusing on her reflection in the stainless steel refrigerator. So that left Bella's thoughts. Did something? I heard within me, the voice again.
"Me?" she asked after a second. "I didn't say anything."
The thought was clearly coming from Bella there was no other direction . . . it could have come from. I was familiar enough with Rosalie and Jacob, that I knew it wasn't them. It could only be my wife. Again, I focused somewhat hopeful that I would have my wife's thoughts. There was nothing. Damn confusing. I moved onto my knees, leaning forward over her, and focused on her face, possibly if I concentrated harder.
"What are you thinking about right now?" I asked.
She stared at me confused. "Nothing. What's going on?" You . . .now? It was the unidentified thoughts of someone.
"What were you thinking about a minute ago?" I asked. It had to be her thoughts. What . . . ago
"Just . . . Esme's island. And feathers." I saw her face flush, and the new voice continued to repeat parts of my words but there was something more that the voice wasn't saying. I sighed at my lack of understanding. I shook my head avoiding the obvious; I was hearing happy thoughts, excitement at the words and sounds. Clearly, this wasn't what Bella had just told me she was thinking.
"Say something else," I murmured as I attempted to confirm that it wasn't Bella's voice I was hearing. How could I be so confused? The direction of the unidentified voice was certainly coming from Bella. Had someone been able to throw their thoughts like a ventriloquist threw their voice?
"Like what? Edward, what's going on?" Say something else. Most assuredly someone was mocking me with my own words. I put a finger up, Bella was not my tormentor. I knew I was being stupid, too frightened to accept that the only remaining being within the room, within the area was the murderous half-breed life sucker that was a part of my wife, the fetus vampire. Then I heard a rush of contentment, something that sounded like cooing.
I remembered every thought and feeling I'd heard from the small voice in the last few minutes. None of those thoughts reflected the image I'd carried of abomination over the last tortuous, heartbreaking four weeks. Instead of uncontrolled thirst for blood, the fetus was content. Instead of erratic emotions there was calmness. Instead of murder . . . love.
I could not ignore the obvious.
I knew without a doubt that the monster within me was fighting my epiphany. It would lose. This new life my wife carried, was nothing like the monster I held within me and I would not treat it as such. I placed my hand against my wife's huge stomach, seeking the contact that would forever quell my beast. "The f—" I swallowed the word fetus back, it was a thinking, feeling individual. "It…the baby likes the sound of your voice."
It took them a few seconds to comprehend my words and then Rosalie gasped and Jacob didn't move a muscle as they saw my hand on Bella's pregnancy in a way I had vowed never to touch her. I wasn't sure if they all froze or if I blocked out everything but the small voice. It was Bella's reaction to my touch that caused us all to startle.
"Holy crow, you can hear him!" Bella shouted, her eyes wide with excitement and her mouth agape with a smile. The baby jumped in her belly at the sudden sound and movement. I gently moved my hand to the top of her belly and rubbed the spot that the baby had kicked in fright. "Shh," I whispered to Bella. "You startled it…him."
"Sorry, baby." She patted the side of her stomach and smiled. I placed my other hand on top of hers and ghosted her movements, our eyes looking at her swollen belly. I was listening more intently, my head tilted toward the bulge in hopes of hearing more. In reward, cooing and the dark warmth filled my mind.
"What's he thinking now?" she demanded eagerly.
"It… he or she, is . . ." I paused and looked up into her glistening brown eyes. I recognized the emotion, one I thought the fetus would be incapable of . . . "He's happy."
Her breath caught, and it was impossible not to see the fanatical gleam in her eyes. Big, fat tears overflowed and ran silently down her face and over her smiling lips.
Awe filled me as well and then something more that I recognized immediately. This baby—my baby wasn't thinking of harming my wife but was content. No bloodlust. No rage. No burning thirst . . . there was utter joy. All the anger, fear, angst and horror of the last two weeks dissolved as I rubbed my wife's belly, and the hope of fatherhood that was buried in my silent heart rose. I was falling in love.
"Of course you're happy, pretty baby, of course you are," Bella crooned, rubbing her stomach while the tears washed her cheeks. "How could you not be, all safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, little EJ, of course you're happy."
The small voice now had a name? "What did you call him?" For the first time I listened with happiness to her words about the baby she was carrying, our baby.
She blushed again. "I sort of named him. I didn't think you would want…well, you know." Her eyes looked at our hands.
"EJ?" My initial? Edward which meant protector of luck or fortune. How ironic. "Perhaps my son would live up to the meaning, where I failed." I whispered quickly, certain Bella did not hear.
"Your father's name was Edward, too?"
"Yes, it was. What—?" I paused. Perhaps my son would live up to the meaning, where I failed. Yes, it was. What--" The baby was repeating my every word. Imitation, the highest form of flattery? And then I said, "Hmm."
"What?"
"He likes my voice, too."
"Of course he does." Her tone was almost gloating now. "You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldn't love it?"
"Do you have a backup plan?" Rosalie asked then, leaning over the back of the sofa with the same wondering, gloating look on her face that was on Bella's.
"What if he's a she?" I asked, listening to the baby mimic Rosalie.
Bella wiped the back of her hand under her wet eyes. "I kicked a few things around. Playing with Renée and Esme. I was thinking… Ruh-nez-may."
"Ruhnezmay?" Rosalie repeated.
Ruhnezmay, the baby's voice was quiet, soft; barely audible as he copied Rosalie.
"R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e. Too weird?"
"No, I like it," Rosalie assured her. Their heads were close together, gold and mahogany. "It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so that fits."
It was clear the baby had vampire hearing. He had heard my whisper that Bella could not hear and now the baby repeated every word Rosalie had uttered. It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so that fits, the baby thought.
"I still think he's an Edward." Bella declared.
I let Rosalie's thoughts and Jacob's noisy thoughts become background, while I was concentrating on the baby. He repeated everything Rosalie and I had said. I squeezed my eyes shut to hear the baby better, I was sure that Bella's words were not being repeated.
"What?" Bella asked, her face just glowing away. "What's he thinking now?"
At first I didn't answer, I was waiting to see if the baby would repeat Bella's sentence, but he didn't. I laid my ear tenderly against her tummy. I could hear better, but I still didn't hear Bella's words coming from the baby. The baby was thinking, or rather feeling; and at that moment I wished Jasper were here so he could better describe the sensation. Then, as if the baby knew I wanted to understand, he felt wonder and adulation for all things Bella. He didn't repeat her words because they were enchantment to him. I understood the feeling.
And my love affair with my baby began. I dedicated my life to little EJ or Renesmee. I vowed to protect the baby and devote my life to the baby's happiness. I was committed to the baby as surely as I was devoted to his mother. My silent heart grew exponentially.
"He loves you," I murmured. "He absolutely adores you." I smiled wide at Bella marveling at our family. There was no more conflict over wife or child—who would live, whose life was worth saving. It would always be wife and child, I would not hasten either to death.
All of a sudden Jacob flew straight up out of his seat, towering over us. Our heads snapped up and he was standing, frozen. I read his pained thoughts. All alone. Of course he would betray me in the end. He was to suffer for making her pregnant but now that leech was happy. He was supposed to hate that revolting thing killing Bella but he was in love with it now.
They were the same thoughts that disappeared from me just moments ago and I listened to Jacob's pain.
He'd never hate anything or anyone that loved Bella. He didn't hate me because of her and there was no way he'd hate that half-breed leech. There was no winning with Bella. I am all alone hating that thing and I'd rather be dead than have to deal with this hurt. Death would feel wonderful right now.
"Ahh," I choked.
Jacob stood there, trembling looking for a way to escape the pain, the hurt, willing himself to stay human. I had to get him out of the house, away from my family. I jumped up and ripped the car keys from the drawer of the small end table. I tossed them to Jacob.
"Go, Jacob. Get away from here." I didn't say it harshly—I knew he had to leave. Bella would never send him away, but I could, for his sanity – for our safety. I could help him to escape.
Jacob looked down in his hand and saw the car keys. His pain was so brilliant. He thought of Leah's words 'That would go away, you know, if you imprinted. You wouldn't have to hurt anymore.' His feet moved him out the door on a new mission, another purpose. I heard the Ashton Martin Vanquish engine start. I'll crash this on the way back—I'm sure I won't get hurt, too bad about the car. . . I shivered not only at the damage to my prized vehicle but Jacob's pain, which so easily could have been mine.
"What's wrong with Jacob," Bella asked, dazed to see him leave.
My phone rang and in frustration, I picked it up before I could explain, before I could focus on the baby. "Hello."
"Edward – you okay?" It was Alice.
"Yes, I'm fine."
"What just happened? Are you sure nothing's wrong?"
"Nothing's . . . wrong. Life just got exponentially better that's all."
"Better?" Her voice was full of agitation and disbelief. "How the heck can it be better when I can't see your future, just like Bella, just like the werewolves. I can't see you! What just happened?"
I smiled debating on how exactly to explain the joy and love in my heart and I realized that I couldn't. I didn't want to. "I'll let you talk to Bella." I handed the phone to my wife and I resumed my love affair. I'd missed too much time already.
"Alice?" Bella said softly, elated.
"Is everything okay? What's wrong with Edward?"
"He's talking with the baby, what did you see?"
"Nothing. That's just it, I can't see him, you or the baby. It's all blurry around you all. It's like what happened when you resolved that you loved the baby . . . What do you mean talking to the baby?"
"He loves our baby?" Bella looked down at me with wonder. Her question was not for Alice but for me. I knew I was in love with the baby. It was impossible for me not to love someone who was a part of Bella.
I raised my eyebrow and whispered, "I do."
Our eyes locked together and I leaned forward to kiss my wife and for those few seconds there was nothing else in the world for us except our family.
"Bella? Bella!" Alice was still on the phone trying to get Bella to talk to her. "What do you mean, talking to the baby?" She repeated loudly, jarring us from our private universe.
"He can hear the baby's thoughts. He's listening to him now and they . . . adore one another."
"That's just great" Slice replied sarcastically, now I'll probably have to move to the garage to avoid a bigger headache trying to see around you, Edward and the baby." Alice trilled. "Not to mention the werewolves."
"Oh, Alice, I'm so sorry."
"I know. You all can't help it." Alice paused, allowing her anger to subside. "I'll let everyone know what's happened. Jasper and I will be home soon with the supplies Carlisle got from the hospital."
The end button was pressed and I still had my hands on my wife's belly, rubbing. "Poor Alice." Bella sighed.
I looked up at my wife. "He's asleep. He seems to understand that his movements hurt you, so he's trying to stay still, but there's not much space." And then I heard yelling – loud, irritating yelling. I turned my head toward the door, it was Leah. Come out here you leech and tell me what you did to Jacob! He took off and he didn't say a word. What did you do to him?
"For the love of--" I shouted and then remembered that the baby was sleeping. The ugly fates would not allow us any peace – damn them all.
"What's wrong?" Bella asked.
"Leah is here, she's worried about Jacob." I got up and went to the door. "I'll be right back."
I stepped onto the porch and watched Leah walk forward in human form. I don't think I'd ever seen her human before. She looked a lot like her younger brother, Seth. They both had the same slender build with round faces and deep black hair and eyes.
"What did she do to Jacob?" She demanded.
"Jacob is fine, he just needed to get away for a little while - the stress was a bit much for him."
"I don't think so. Jacob could handle the stress, even the smell. What did she do, what'd she tell him?" Bloodsucker can't be trusted. You're lying!
"She didn't say anything, it was me. I agreed that Bella was right about the baby. I'm happy about it." I couldn't stop the large silly grin from coming across my face and the lift in my voice. I was damn happy and she was killing my bliss.
"That wouldn't be enough, I want to talk to Bella." She was insistent.
"It isn't a good time." Bella should be allowed to enjoy these moments of pure joy and although Bella was better, she certainly wasn't well enough to withstand an emotional onslaught from a hormonally challenged Leah.
"Too bad," she walked up the stairs and into the door, not waiting for me to show her inside. I didn't stop her, Esme had made it clear that Leah should feel at home here.
Bella was still sitting on the couch closest to the armrest, too excited to lie down and rest. Rosalie had moved in next to her in the middle of the couch, both deep in conversation about the recent events.
Leah in her cut-off jeans and a tank top interrupted the conversation, "Bella, what did you do to Jacob?" She stood closer to the door, apparently wanting to make a quick exit when necessary or at least hopeful for a breath of fresh air. They stink!
I moved to stand in between Leah and the couch, ready to block any physical attack, but not blocking anyone's view. I spoke before Bella could answer. "I told her that you didn't do anything that I'd changed my mind about the baby and Jacob was upset with me."
All three women looked at me as if I hadn't said anything important. Women's thoughts no matter whether they were vampire, werewolf or human had always been confusing because they didn't match up with their actions and were hidden underneath strong emotions. It would be most helpful to have Jasper here.
Leah's thoughts vacillated as quickly as her emotions. She flitted through her hurt at her own menopausal condition, a genetic dead end and love lost with Sam who did not imprint with her because she could not produce children. She felt both admiration and jealousy at Bella's pregnancy and then an appreciation for Rosalie's loyalty and a total hatred toward me and my lack of understanding.
Rosalie's thoughts were quite basic I thought. She acknowledged Leah long enough to evaluate that she was not a physical threat to the baby and therefore, unworthy of consideration. Bella was unreadable as usual. She rubbed her stomach, possibly preparing herself for the verbal abuse but more probably in protection of the baby.
"What did you do?" Leah demanded an answer.
"Nothing, I was just as surprised as you were that Jacob left. I didn't want him to go." Bella's voice trembled.
"Maybe that was the problem. You keep him around you just so you can trample his feelings. Why should he have to look at you and your 'happy little family' knowing that he will never have that?" She popped her hip out, tossed her head back and motioned quotes in the air when she said 'happy little family.'
"You are cruel and evil to make him be a part of this. How can you say you ever loved him if you continue to torture him with the love you have for that leech and his half-breed child you're carrying. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this; all he ever did was love you! Why don't you just leave him alone?"
Bella couldn't say anything. Leah's cutting words hurt more than the pain from her broken ribs. Tears were running down my spouse's face and I felt my monster turn to a new victim, a new quest.
"That's enough, Leah—you'd better go now." I faced her head on, my voice full of rage, threatening. I would not be a monster unless forced.
"I'm going, but you better hope Jacob comes back in one piece and soon!" She shook her finger at me and didn't verbally finish the sentence her thoughts finished them for her. If not I will go back to Sam and lead an attack myself, stupid blood sucker. She stormed out of the house and into the woods.
Leah's exit left one sound in the house - Bella's sobs. It was like all her joy came to a crashing halt. The bad luck demon continued its rampage against my wife. I crossed the room, "Excuse me Rosalie," I said and squeezed in between Bella and Rosalie. Although, I wasn't as angry with Rosalie, I was not in the mood for her impassive attitude toward the wolves, Bella and the emotional upheaval of it all.
"I'm sorry sweetheart. She wasn't right. Jacob doesn't feel like that." My arm was around her shoulders and she had her head on my chest. I could feel her wet warm tears soak my shirt as her shoulders shook.
"How can I make it right by him? I've been horrible." She said in between her sobs.
"Bella, he cares very much for you and wants to be here just as much as you want him here." I put my hand on the baby, thankfully, he was still sleeping. "You mustn't upset yourself; Leah's words were about her and Sam. She's very confused and Jacob doesn't feel like that. When he comes back, he'll tell you as much." I assured.
I knew it was only a half truth. Jacob did feel like his heart was being grinded in the garbage disposal, but he was drawn to Bella. However there was no way I would add to her anguish and there wasn't anything she could do to help Jacob. Jacob could not leave her and she didn't want him to. I didn't understand it, but I wouldn't fight it.
"I don't know why I keep hurting him." She cried.
"He knows that you don't want to hurt him, and he doesn't want to hurt you either. He won't like what Leah did, especially because she twisted her own hurt and disappointment into his."
"I have been cruel."
"Bella, that's not true." I leaned her face to mine and gave her my biggest smile at the absolute impossibility that she could ever be purposefully mean. "You are the most caring person we all know, you'd die before you were brutally hateful to someone you love. You must forget about Leah's tirade and focus on our family."
We sat together, me, Bella and the baby all holding each other. I listened to the baby but there was just darkness, the baby was rocked into deep sleep by Bella's crying. I smiled again as I heard Bella softly snore. The noon sun was hours away, the day had just begun, but it seemed like it was already nightfall.
When he woke up, the baby was trying hard to keep he's movements to a minimum but it was crowded inside the womb. He had not kicked since Bella startled him. I was still concerned about when the baby would be born and how to avoid a 'natural' childbirth. I was able to think more clearly about the situation without my monster's desires in the forefront of my mind.
"Bella, I think we should go ahead and have the c-section when Carlisle comes back." I carefully broached the subject.
"Is the baby ready?" She didn't say 'no' and I was hopeful that she'd ultimately agree now that she knew I loved the baby.
"He is able to communicate and he is getting smarter every time I hear his thoughts. He already understands words. I'm certain he is mature enough to survive without you, but you're not healthy enough to survive much longer with him inside of you. It's dangerous to wait much longer."
"It would be much safer for the baby to have a planned c-section." Rosalie agreed. I relaxed that Rosalie wasn't immediately objecting to my suggestions, although I was somewhat surprised by her reaction, but I still didn't trust myself to confirm her words by hearing her thoughts.
"Let's talk to Carlisle." And before they could disagree, I dialed his number and he answered on the first ring.
"How's Bella?"He asked.
"She's still in pain but I think she can rest more comfortably now that the baby can understand that his movements hurt her."
"I heard you've been listening to my grandchild." I could almost hear the smile in his voice.
"He is smart Carlisle and already knows our voices." My pride flowed. Bella smiled at my statement.
"Amazing." He chuckled and continued. "Esme and I will be home tomorrow around noon. I've had to go further away; supplies are pretty scarce in our area, but Alice and Jasper are on the way home."
"I think the baby is further developed than what you've estimated, he can survive on his own. We should deliver."
"Well, I'll take a look when we get back. If everything looks fine, then we can consider delivery. Until then, keep them hydrated, fed and rested."
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"What did Carlisle say?" Bella asked when I hung up.
"He will examine you tomorrow to determine if it's safe to have the c-section, if so, then my arms will hold my son or daughter tomorrow."
Bella giggled, "It's been a busy morning and I need another bathroom break." The noon day sun hadn't made an appearance and our lives had changed so majorly.
While Rosalie and Bella were in the bathroom, I went upstairs to prepare for the delivery. I thought of the large tapir that I last feasted on in South America. The venom began to flow to my mouth and I drained it into a metal syringe and placed it next to the bags of O positive blood in the stainless steel refrigerator. I rushed into the kitchen to discard the emergency medical kit I hid on top of the refrigerator and quickly returned to the large living area.
"Are you ready for some lunch? There are plenty of leftovers." I asked when Bella returned to the couch.
"I'm really not hungry." Bella replied as she rubbed her stomach.
"Now is not the time to stop eating, we've got a baby to deliver tomorrow." I said it with joy and excitement enough so that Bella smiled.
"Well, I guess I better eat then, it will be my last lunch." She teased.
My face turned grim as the horrid idea of her death hit me. I knew she didn't mean it like that. But, I didn't like the sound of it, at all. I hesitated, once again faced with ending her life, destroying her soul – what had I done?
It took everything inside me to speak. She meant, she would be a vampire—human food would no longer be appealing. "Bella, I was . . . you—"
I knew without any doubt that there were three reasons that I could not avoid making her a vampire and I never finished my sentence.
First, her heart was permanently damaged, it was enlarged and there was a pronounced murmur. Her heart would fail. She would die from cardiac arrest within weeks, maybe minutes after delivery.
Second, even if her heart was repaired, she could not be around the baby as a human. The baby would thirst after her blood; he would be in pain every time she was near him. And were the baby to act upon that thirst—to stop his pain, to quench his desire -- he'd kill both his parents.
And thirdly, if Bella were to remain human, she would be miserably, wretchedly unhappy to be separated from the baby and it would be a catastrophic separation because his accelerated growth could end his life in a few short years.
It took me less than half a second to agree that Bella was right; this would be her lunch.
Comments? Please, I need the encouragement – I'm working on the next chapters and they're sad.