"Alec? Can I come in?" I ask while timidly knocking on his door. Yesterday I had carried Alec home after he fainted and then Carlisle looked after him until he woke up while I went hunting with my family. When I got home, Carlisle told me Alec had asked to have some time in his room alone. I decided to give him space and left him alone all night. Now it's morning and I'm dying to know how he's doing.
After a few seconds, the door opens, revealing Alec wearing a bright green t-shirt that brings out his eyes and a pair of jeans, hair combed and eyes bright as if he has been up for hours while I only awoke ten minutes ago.
"How are you?" I ask him in a quite voice. He stares at me, then widens the doorway to allow me entrance. I walk in nervously, wondering what he has got to say. It seems he was wrong. Telling him the actual word – vampire – seems to have changed his view of me entirely.
I sit on the edge of his bed, waiting for him to speak. He leans against the wall opposite me, watching me with a measuring stare. I resolve myself not to say anything until he does, knowing I'll go into a round of nervous rambling.
"I don't know what to say." He says after a long moment.
"If you want to go home, I'll have it arranged as soon as possible. I'm not trying to hold you captive here." I tell him sorrowfully.
"Why would I want to go?" He asks in confusion.
"You've had yourself holed away in your room for around nineteen hours straight. You're probably famished, parched, bored, and going insane up here, but you'd rather deal with that than come anywhere near me and the rest of my family because you just learned we are all monsters. I'm pretty sure anyone would agree that you have plenty of reason to want to go." I laugh dryly, and he sighs.
"I told you nothing could change the way I think of you, and I meant it. I'm not afraid – okay, maybe I'm a little afraid, but not enough for me to hide out in my room. I was overloaded. I needed time to mull over things and think about what is going on with you and me and our relationship now that I know all of the things you have told me."
"And what have you decided?" I ask hesitantly, wondering if I really want to know.
"I've decided that you are still my whole world, and I'm not going to let a little thing like a species difference change that." He smiles. My face brightens, and I laugh and lunge at him, hugging him tightly. He hugs me back just as tightly, and then we walk downstairs.
My family sits in the dining room, not talking at all and not pretending to eat because now the human knows everything. Frustrated and slightly accusing eyes look up at me as we enter the room. I stare back with courage and resolve, then meaningfully walk into the kitchen. Esme is in there, making waffles.
"Hey, Esme." It feels good to not have to call her mom after all this time even though I definitely see her as a motherly figure.
"Good morning, Nessie, Alec." She smiles at him, liking not having to call me Carlie anymore.
"Good morning." Alec smiles at her, polite as always.
"What do you two have planned for today?" She asks with kind interest as she slides two plates in front of us, mine with two waffles and Alec's with four.
"Alec wants to experience it all first hand. He wants to go running with me and climbing and all that fun stuff. We're just going to be out and about in the forest." I explain, happily chomping down on a bite of waffle.
"You have to be very careful, Renesmee. You don't have much experience with mortals. Remember that they are much more fragile than you and clumsier. Don't you dare leave the poor boy alone on a tree branch. And do not try to show off by bringing down an animal. It's to dangerous while he is around." Esme warns.
"I know, I know. He's just a wittle human." I coo, ruffling Alec's hair. He cringes away and glares.
"Why take him to go climb some stupid old trees when you can show him everything with a game of baseball?" Emmett says as he walks into the kitchen
"Baseball?" Alec perks up, looking over at Emmett.
"Good old fashioned baseball." Emmett nods, going from being behind us to being in front of us so quickly Alec probably didn't register the movement though it was like casual jogging to me.
"Thunderstorms today." Alice announces, coming in, leaping onto the counter, and propelling herself with one foot into the chair next to Alec, graceful as a gazelle.
"Alice can see the future, I forgot to mention that. Oh, and Jasper can feel and manipulate emotions. And my mother, or Bella, can put a mind shield around people so mind powers don't work on them. And Kate can sort of electrocute you like a taser, and Eleazar can sense other vampire's powers." I tell Alec with a small smile. He nods slowly, absorbing it all in.
"I like having you know. It's so much easier." Alice tells Alec with a sweet little smile.
"Same here." Alec chuckles.
"You're taking it about as well as Bella. Maybe you have a knack for vampirism like she did." Alice giggles, and I suddenly realize something. My lies don't flow. I told Alec I was half-vampire half-human, which obviously means I was conceived by a vampire and a human. Yet I told him Bella and Edward, both vampires, are my parents and vampirism is something you are born into. I don't think he noticed, but Alice's remark might tip him off. I explained to them everything I had said to Alec.. I must have left out some part because now Alice said this... Please don't notice..
If only I was so lucky. "What do you mean?" He asks, dark brows knitting together.
"Bella hardly flinched when Edward broke it all down for her. And she married a vampire while she was still human, that's pretty remarkable. Didn't Renesmee tell you the story already?" Alice asks innocently, eyes flashing up to me. The mischievous twinkle in her eyes suddenly lets on to me that she knows exactly what she is doing. She wants Alec to know. She wants him to know the option is open to him so that perhaps I'll be persuaded into it by him.
"I was actually saving that story for another time, but thanks anyways Alice." I interrupt before she can launch into my parent's love story. She glowers at me sourly. Sneaky little pixie.. "Baseball sounds great, though." I quickly change the topic. "But, Alec, you won't be able to play, you know that right? It'll be too...intense for you. Just a fair warning."
"I don't care. I'm pretty sure I'm about to witness the most amazing baseball game of my life." He laughs, swallowing the last bite of his last waffle as I make it to the middle of my first.
"You can go ahead and go get ready, I'll be up in a minute." I tell him with an encouraging smile. He hesitates, maybe not wanting to be alone in a house full of vampires, but then puts on a brave face and marches out and up the stairs. As soon as I hear his door close, I turn to Alice.
"You're evil." I tell her with an angry scowl.
"He deserves to know." She responds, inspecting her perfect manicure so she doesn't have to meet my eyes.
"The option isn't open to him, so he doesn't need to know."
"You told him everything about us."
"So?"
"I think that means you guys are as serious as Jasper and I, or Rose and Emmett, or your mother and father, or Carmen and Eleazar. You guys are mates. And you're an instinctive creature, we all are. When the time comes to say goodbye, you aren't going to want to let go."
"Of course I won't want to! But I will, because that is what is best for him. He will never be a vampire." I say resolutely.
"If you say so." She smiles slyly, leaping off the stool. I grab her.
"What did you see, Alice?" I ask, staring into the butterscotch depths of her eyes. She just smiles and removes herself from my grasp, disappearing quickly. I growl and slam my fist on to the counter, leaving a large dent.. Oops.
I go upstairs and find my baseball outfit laying on my bed with a sticky note that reads: Knew you would need it! In Alice's handwriting. How did she... Oh, never mind. I yank on the white uniform with vertical blue stipes and the baseball hat. I put on a pair of gloves and tennis shoes and go knock on Alec's door.
He opens, wearing a Hoquiam sweatshirt, a heavy tan fur coat, a pair of jeans, and a pair of working boots. I just smile at him and hold out my hand, allowing him to take it and together we walk downstairs. The Denali's have similar uniforms, except theirs have diagonal red stripes.
"Alright let's go!" Tanya says happily as we walk downstairs.
"Would you feel more comfortable in my arms or on my back?" I ask Alec with a small smirk as we get out the door and on the deck.
"Uhh.. Back?" He looks uncomfortable and nervous. I laugh, grabbing him and slinging him on my back. He clings to me for dear life, and then I take off. I run as fast as I can, jumping fifteen feet over a small stream and doing flips off the trunks of trees.
"Show off." Kate giggles as she passes me too low for Alec to hear. I roll my eyes force myself to go faster. We soon come to the snowy field we play at all the time. Black clouds roll over head, dark and menacing. A crackle of lightening ignites the sky, and soon follows a clap of thunder.
"We're just in time." Alice laughs, looking around at us all gleefully.
"Why does there need to be a thunderstorm?" Alec asks me.
"You'll see." I smile almost secretively.
"Alec, you can help Esme referee if you would like." Mom tells him.
"Oh, uh, that sounds great, thanks Mrs. Cullen." Alec stutters.
"You can still call me Bella." She smiles. Alec smiles back before heading over to Esme.
"Let's play ball!" Emmett booms. The teams are divided up quickly. It's me, Mom, Alice, Rose, Tanya, Kate, and Carmen against Emmett, Jasper, Dad, Carlisle, Garrett, Eleazar, and, much to the boy's disappointment, Jacob. He has been quiet all of yesterday and today, not bothering to talk to me because I've been so tense and anxious lately. I had forgotten he was even here.
"Thank God we don't have to deal with the mutt." Rose says as she takes her place as first batter. I look over at Alec who is standing next to Esme, looking excited although a bit scared. I smile at him assuringly, and he winks at me. I giggle and return my focus to the game.
Jasper's wrist flicks the ball at wicked speed. Rose's keen eyes watch it intently and she swings at the perfect moment. The durable metal bat clangs against the speeding little white ball. The ball soars towards the back of the field as Rose drops the bat and dashes to second base. Dad makes a run for the ball, sliding through the snow with his hand outstretched, coming up half an inch short.
Rose smiles in delight and I pick up the bat and dust the powder off. I take a stance at the home plate and watch as Jasper winds the ball up. I am absolutely determined to make a home run because, well, Alec is watching of course.
The ball comes whizzing towards me and I grip the bat tightly. Alec's eyes are probably just registering Jasper is no longer has the ball as my bat comes in contact with it. A deafening boom fills the field and the ball soars back towards the woods. Rose takes off as do I, both of us heading for home plate. I force my legs to go faster and faster, not even giving myself time to make an footprint in the snow as I glide over it.
I slide into home plate just half a second before Jake's hand with the ball in it hits my arm. I smile smugly up at him from the ground. "Oh, shut up." He rolls his eyes, grinning, and helps me up. I prance arrogantly back to my team.
The game goes on, the girls staying in the lead with the boys following closely. I take second base when the boys are up to bat, and end up getting Eleazar and my dad out. I keep tabs on Alec, making sure he is safe and happy and not bored. By the look on his face, boredom is the farthest thing he could experience right now. He is in awe of the game I have played my whole life.
The girls win, and everyone heads back to the house, teasing each other and laughing and having a great time.
"Hey, Nes, do you think you and I can talk for a moment privately?" Jacob asks me, one beefy hand grabbing my arm.
"Uh, yeah, sure." I search for someone, my eyes landing on Emmett, of all people. "Uncle Em, do you think you could take Alec home? Safely? With no detours? And no grizzlies or anything remotely dangerous in any way involved? " I ask a little nervously.
"Have a little faith in me!" He sings, grabbing Alec, who gives a short yelp of surprise, and dashing into the forest like a madman. Jake and I are left in the middle of the trampled field, the gray sky looming overhead. I begin having a very nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"What's up, Jake?" I ask him casually.
"Things have been pretty hectic around here, what with you spilling the beans to the little boy toy." Jake says, scratching the back of his neck. I narrow my eyes at him.
"The "boy toy" has a name, it's Alec. And thanks for holding me back for you to state the obvious, I really appreciate it." I roll my eyes, crossing my arms.
"That's not why I'm keeping you back and you know it. Geez, chill out. What I'm trying to get at is now really isn't the time for a jealous wolf that is in love with you to be hanging around and taking up space. I don't know what is going to happen with you and Boy Toy, but things seem pretty serious. I'm seeing history repeat itself, and it's pretty difficult to watch. I can feel it in my bones that he is going to end up a vampire, and you are going to forget all about me.
"I'm trying to accept it though. I love you, and I want what's best for you. I've always known that, I just guess I had never considered I might not be best for you. Maybe I am destined to be the perpetual best friend, the rebound guy, the shoulder to cry on, whatever. Alec is the guy of your dreams, and I've always wanted you to live out your dreams.
"I think I'm going to head back to La Push. Seems that in my absence, Seth has stepped up as pack leader since he is the oldest. I think I'm going to let it stay that way. For now, I'm done shifting. I'm resigning from the pack, and I'm going to finally start my life. Edward is loaning me some money so I can go to college, and maybe major in engineering or something. I'm tired of working at the old mechanic shop on the rez. I'm going to make something of myself. For the first time in seven years, I'm going to have to dedicate myself to something that doesn't have copper curls and brown eyes.
"We probably won't be seeing each other much any time soon. But don't you dare think about getting married without sending me an invitation. And I'm sure you'll find a way to get a hold of me if you need something. I'll always be open for the position of rebound guy if you need it, and maybe one day I might get my chance at being the main guy. I'm leaving now, I got my plane tickets this morning and your parents have arranged it. I'm going to miss you." He bites his lip, trying not to let himself cry while I am sobbing freely.
"I-I'm s-s-so s-s-orry-y J-ake." I stutter out in between the sobs and the tears. I want to inform him that Alec will never be a vampire, there isn't going to be a wedding, history is not repeating itself in the same way, and he will have his chance to shine, but I can't get the words out and even if I could, it wouldn't matter. Jake sees things I refuse to let myself see. He knows things I refuse to let myself believe.
"Shh, Ness, it's alright." He pulls me in, wrapping his arms around me while I cry into his chest.
"I'll miss you." I tell him after I've calmed down and wiped the tears away.
"It's going to be hard." He agrees, tucking a lock of curls behind my ear.
"You'll always be my best friend." I promise, running my hands down his chest, knowing this might very well be the last time.
"And you'll always be mine. I'd give anything to go back a few years, when we played tag in Forks and challenged each other to take down the bigger kill. When I didn't worry about your heart being broken or you choosing someone else. It's all gone by so fast." A tear slips down his cheek.
A protective urge surges through me, a need to hold him and make the pain disappear. Without a moment's thought, I lean up and kiss him. Our lips meet passionately, molding together perfectly. I open my mouth and so does he, his warm breath tasting like cinnamon. His tongue dances with mine in perfect sync like long time lovers. I have my fingers tangled into his coarse black hair and he is pressing me tightly to him by the small of my back.
"I love you." I whisper as I pull back.
"If only it could be in a different way." He murmurs, meaning that he wishes I loved him as more than just a friend. That kiss, although passionate and lusty, has proven to me that I don't belong with Jacob Black. The fire and sparks and intense flames of emotion that I feel with Alec are missing.
"I'm sorry." I kiss him against chastely, memorizing every detail of him from his rich brown eyes to his woodsy scent.
"Don't be. I'll see you around, Nes. Love you." He gently unwinds my arms from around him and disappears into the darkness of the forest. I stand still as a statue for a good five minutes, before gaining composure and refusing to let myself mope over this. It's heart breaking, but I made my decision and now I have to stick by it.
I calm myself and head back to the house. These past two days have contained a lot of surprises, and I'm hoping the rest of the vacation can be spent in blissful predictability. I mean, yeah, I like having the truth out with Alec, but if I had known it would happen, I never would have brought him here. If I could go back through time and change things I would jump on the opportunity.
Oh well. What's done is done. No use wasting time thinking about what could have happened when I could be with Alec.