The weekend drug by slowly. I waited for a text from Alec, one saying he was sorry and he wanted to meet up so we could talk it out. That text never came. I stayed in bed all weekend, something I've never done before. My mom brought me food, and I nibbled on some of it, but pushed most of it away.
Saturday, I was depressed. I hated myself also. I hated my species, what I was and what my kind had to do, and I longed for humanity more than I ever have. I hated all the secrets I kept from Alec. I hated every little aspect of my being. I basically fated our relationship to doom.
But as Sunday drug on, my mind took on the only defense mechanism I have left. My sadness dissolved into anger. I became angry at Alec for making me hate myself. I've never hated myself so much, and it is because of him that I do. I became angry at Alec for making me feeling guilty about the secrets, when I was only trying to save his life and peace of mind. I became angry that he broke up with me, but for that one I couldn't find a reason. Somewhere deep in my sub-conscious, I knew that his reasons for breaking up with me were perfectly valid – I'm an entirely different species that he has no future with. But I refused to let myself see it at that time.
So as Monday rolled around, I had become a little...revengeful. Not a good thing for an emotionally-unstable, ultra fast and strong, blood-thirsty, clever little half-vampire to become. I wanted Alec to see what he had missed, and become jealous.
I dress in tight, extra-mini skirt, a flouncy beige and gold t-shirt that slides off one shoulder, exposing one of my bra straps, and the rest of my bra is totally visible because the shirt is so thin. I wear a long gold necklace with a heart at the end that stops directly in the middle of my cleavage, heavier eye makeup than usual, keep my hair down, knowing he loves my curls. I put on gold sandals and carry with me a large designer gold purse to redo my make up later in the day.
I slip out of the house before my parents can see me and arrive at school earlier than usual. I find Brooke, Eden, and Sierra sitting at one of the red picnic tables in the commons area where I know Alec usually is. I sit down next to them, taking about half a second to spot out Alec on the other side of the place with a group of his friends.
"What happened with Alec? " Brooke asks immediately and with concern. I have stuck tight to her though letting my other friendships slide a little. She reads my facial expression easily, not to mention the fact that I'm coming to them instead of Alec.
"He..broke up with me Friday night." I tell them, trying not to let my face give away the painful clench my heart just made. Everyone gasps.
"Nuh uh! You two are the cutest couple here! You've been inseparable from day one! Why would he do that?" Sierra asks, looking appalled. Suddenly, I realize I don't have an excuse for Alec breaking up with me. What is he telling people? Has he told anyone yet? I could easily come up with a lie, but if our stories clash, one of us is going to end up looking like a lying fool, and me, being the dumpee while he is the dumper, will probably get pinned as the liar.
"I don't.. Just.. Ask him. He can explain things a lot better than I can." I tell them, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. In an effort to not throw up all over three of my closest friends in front of everyone (and by everyone, I mean in front of Alec) I quickly scurry off without so much as a goodbye. I hear them asking each other what that was all about and putting up theories for my behavior, but I hardly listened. I don't want to hear it.
During French, Brooke didn't say a word, which is unusual for her. I guess the stress, tension, and need to be left alone was tangible. At lunch, I voted to sit with my family. It's sad that I couldn't even be in the same zone as him without feeling like I was dying on the inside.. And feeling like I wanted to rip his head clean off his shoulders..
Driving home felt so..unnatural. I was alone in my own car, for one thing, and I didn't head over to Alec's house for another. I drove all the way home. And then I did my homework by my self. And I had no one to help with his homework. I had no one to cook for except myself, no one to read princess books to, no one to watch movies with, and overall, nothing to do.
I laid in my bed for the good majority of the time, finishing all my homework and even getting in some extra credit for a few classes. I went hunting, took a long bath, dressed slowly, and forced myself asleep. When I awoke, it seemed practically impossible that I could have actually survived yesterday.
The process repeated itself. Long days, long nights, longing, anguish, boredom, and most of all, loneliness. I feel so impossibly lonely without Alec. Empty and cold, every single day, twenty-four/ seven. It's unbearable.
I kept up a happy face for my family and for my friends. I began hanging out with them more and more, and even got an almost-smile from Kayla the other day. Though I had started hanging out with them after school more, my chances for ever seeing Alec in public (other than school) grew slim. He still kept up his job at the ice cream parlor, and soccer and track had started, filling all his free time.
But my chances for seeing him outside of public were great, considering I sneak into his bedroom every night. I watch his face, usually so peaceful during slumber, twist and contort in restless dreams. He tosses around, groans, and wakes up frequently, but never notices my still form pressed into the shadows. I don't know why I go there, but I have to. I lose at least two or three hours of sleep to him every night, not including the time I spend crying in my room.
Tonight is Brooke's sixteenth party. The majority of the sophomore class is going to be there, and maybe some upperclassmen. Brooke invited my siblings out of courtesy, but they aren't going, mostly because I begged them not to. Alec is going, though, meaning I'm going to spend the majority of my time pretending not to notice him pretending not to notice me.
It's a dance party, meaning there is a big competition to see which girl can show the most skin while not looking like a complete slut. My family would never let me get out of the house in the clothes I plan on wearing to the party, so I slip on a prissy little tank top and a pair of destroyed light-wash jean shorts and flats. I pile all my make up into my over-sized purse. My clothes are in the trunk of my car. Alice already knows my plan, and since she approves of anything done in the name of fashion, she has to block Dad from her head.
I say goodbye and leave the house, pull out, and drive to Brooke's. It's seven right now, the party doesn't start for another hour, but she knows my plan and is helping me out with it.
Brooke answers the door wearing a strapless fuschia minidress. Her red hair is piled messily on top of her head, her make up is bright and elaborate, her black heels make her about my height, and she looks absolutely flawless.
"You look gorgeous." I tell her with a smile, giving her a small greeting hug. She gives me the same once over.
"Great. You look better than me before you even start getting dressed." She groans.
"Oh, shut up. Not true." I roll my eyes, brushing my bangs back from my face.
She lends me her bathroom to fix myself up. I take my time carefully straightening every curl, but even being slow and cautious, I took half the time a human would take going fast and being sloppy. I put on heavy, thick lines of black eyeliner that extend out past my eyes, giving me a cat-like look. I put on golden eyeshadow outlined with a neon-purple and blue mascara. I sheath on red lipstick and then take out my dress.
I am almost embarrassed to put it on. It shows a lot of skin and is ultra-tight, not that I can't pull something like that off, it's just humiliating to know that I'm only wearing it because I know Alec is going to see me in it.
I pull it on, careful not to smudge my make up. It is very short, the majority of my thigh being exposed. There is an about four-inch-tall band of silver sparkly material on the hem. It then heads up in slinky black fabric that is as clingy as spandex. Hell, it might even be spandex for all I know. The bust is silver-sparkly too. It has a halter top and is held up by two thin black straps that connect on the back of my neck. The back of the dress is for the most part nonexistent. My upper back and a good portion of my lower back are completely bare. I put on a pair of open-toed five-inch wedges that are metallic-silver and strappy with a silver-gemstone design on them. My toes and nails are painted black with silver tips and a layer of sparkle.
My amethyst bracelet and promise ring sit tucked away in a music box my mother got me a long time ago. I nearly shattered each of them, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I also couldn't bring myself to re-clasp the promise bracelet Jake gave me. Now I feel bare and weird without all of them. They all symbolized the most important things to me, the most special events in my life too, and it's like I've had to one by one give them all up. This wasn't suppose to happen. This isn't how my life was suppose to go. I wasn't suppose to be tossed overboard from the S.S. Predictability into an ocean of hurt, fear, loneliness, misery, surprise, anger, and loss. Suddenly, I really miss having every step I take in life planned out.
"You almost done, Carlie?" Brooke asks from outside the bathroom door. I stop staring at my glum, hopeless reflection and quickly shove all my things back inside my bag, answering the door a moment later, my heels clinking on her tiled bathroom.
"Yep, ready to go." I smile brightly. She stares at me from head to toe, jaw hanging open.
"You look amazing." She tells me, eyes wide.
"Thanks. Now let's go." I link my arm through hers and all but pull her out of her room, heading downstairs. I have been to Brooke's many times and know my way around fairly well.
Her parents are away this weekend at some concert hours away. They're staying at a hotel overnight and coming back tomorrow afternoon. Brooke's actual birthday isn't even for nearly a month, but her parents would never have a real party so she's taking a risk and throwing one. Not a great idea in a small town with nosy neighbors, but who am I to judge?
Alice is actually the one that decorated her house. I helped out though. We both skipped school today (Alice was the one that convinced my parents to let me, and the argument went on so long it came down to rock, paper, scissors, which Alice won) and set up tons of foods and drinks and the sound system from Alec's party and got tons of music that would play randomly.
"I really can't thank you enough for helping me out with this." Brooke tells me with one hand on my arm.
"Don't mention it. It was no big deal." I tell her, hearing the sound of several cars pulling into the driveway simultaneously. I begin walking towards the front door without making it too obvious that's where I'm heading. Brooke is about to say something when the doorbell rings. Then she perks up, squeals, and scurries to the door, nearly tripping in her three-inch pumps.
There is a crowd of people awaiting. People begin streaming through the door at a near constant rate as more cars pull up.
Music plays, people dance, the lights dim, and soon enough it's like everyone is having sex with their clothes on. People are making out and groping and grinding and all over each other. I am tossed into the mess unwillingly by the crowd. The lights are so low they are one step away from being off and no one has any clue who they are pressing themselves up against. My eyes are much better than theirs, but I still have no idea who I find myself grinding against because there is that much chaos.
I end up having fun though. The heat, the intensity, the mayhem, the confusion, the leg-numbing, non-stop dancing.. It took my mind off of Alec, who has been plaguing me every second of the day for two weeks.
But as I removed myself from the dizzying mob of party-goers, he re-enters my head. I sigh as I walk over to the kitchen, sliding past people to grab a blue plastic cup filled with soda or something, I don't even remember anymore. I take a long drink, and then have to force myself to swallow instead of spit it out all over the people here. Someone laced the drinks with alcohol. Very strong alcohol at that.
My big gulp makes my head spin. People are staring at me, wondering what the hell I'm doing just standing there staring blankly. I hurriedly leave, the cup still in my hand. I am in such a hurry to get out and maybe go upstairs to clear my head for a moment without the low lighting and mess of bodies pushing me around that I don't notice the person coming in.
Alec and I nearly collide with each other. I stop myself quickly, quicker than I should in public. He notices, as he always has, but no one else that is rushing by does. We stand there and stare. I finally get to look into those amazing green eyes for a good measure of time after two long weeks without them. He looks surprised, and his hair is mussy while his simple clothes are a bit wrinkled.
"Renesmee." He says softly and quietly, forgetting where we are just like I have. Butterflies are spawning in the pit of my stomach, and they go on a rampage as he not only says my name, but says my real name.
"Alec." I whisper, biting my lip to keep me from crying.
"How are you?" He asks, a deeper meaning in the normally casual question. I open my mouth to tell him I am just fine, but nothing comes out. I clamp my mouth shut and just shake my head, eyes filling with tears. He nods in understanding.
"I miss you." He says, taking me by surprise.
"I-.. I miss you too." I tell him quietly.
"I've been thinking about things a lot lately. And.. I just.. I don't know.. I think I may have-" His eyes bore into mine, a liquid emerald, and my heart rises with hope. He might have what? Made a mistake? Spit it out already! My breathing has stopped, my world hanging on the thin thread of his sentence, teetering precariously. But I guess I'll never know what he was going to say because at that moment, a slim figure with silvery hair, gray eyes, and a wicked smile appears at Alec's side.
"Come on Alec, let's dance some more!" She laughs, tugging at his muscled arm. He looks down at her in surprise, mouth still open in preparation to deliver me news that could make it or break it.
"Never mind. I'll see you around, Carls." Alec tells me, then turns and heads back towards the party, his eyes leaving my face just in time to not see the tear slide down my cheek. Kayla sees it though. She smirks at me, as if to say, "And so the better woman wins." And then clings to Alec's arm as they disappear from the kitchen.
I suddenly just want to go home. I want to be away from here and away from Hoquiam. I want to move somewhere reclusive and hole away there for the rest of my life. I never want to have to see Alec again. I never want my heart to be broken again.
I am shaking violently as I pass through swarms of people. Nobody notices. Nobody cares, really. Smoke is filling the room, telling me there is probably some kind of drugs, most likely pot, being distributed. I am in such a frenzied mess and shaking so hard I know I won't be able to make it home. Instead, I take the stairs two at a time. At first I try to go into the bathroom, but hear the sound of a couple getting serious inside. Same goes for the guest bedroom, her parent's bedroom, and Brooke's own bedroom. Actually.. That might even be Brooke and Cameron inside her room.. I almost want to slam the door down and make him get his filthy paws off her, but I decide to just let her run her own life. I have my own problems to deal with.
I find refuge inside the linen closet. I keep the lights off and bury myself under the mound of spare blankets kept here. I don't even cry, just quake and struggle to breathe. After at least ten minutes, I come out, straightening myself up and smoothing myself down.
I walk back downstairs, planning on leaving, but then decide I'm not going to let Kayla scare me off. I find myself dancing again, trying to drown out the pain with the blaring of the music. The beat of the bass feels like my own heartbeat. I can't even be sure if it's a girl or guy that I'm dancing against right now.
The clock over Brooke's fireplace reads ten o'clock. My parents gave me a curfew of midnight. I am tired, and decide to see if I can go find a glass of water or something that isn't infected with alcohol. I remove myself from the dance floor and head into the kitchen. I grab an empty cup and fill it with water from the tap, drinking the whole thing. I decide to take a breather out on the back patio. I sneakily slip outside, hoping no one sees me so no one will figure out about my private refuge. I sit on one of the patio chairs, allowing the cold night air to get rid of the partying-induced haze.
I have to keep myself from groaning as I hear the backdoor open. Someone has figured it out. I look up to see Trey Freedman, one of Alec's friends who actually went to the movies with Alec and I the first time we ever hung out outside of school. That was a little less than six months ago. It feels like years ago.
He comes out, shutting the door behind him. He is a tall guy with large muscles, chocolate-brown hair that is usually spiked up in the front but today is down, hanging limply on his forehead, and twinkly navy-blue eyes.
"Hey Trey." I say a little awkwardly. I've talked to him here and there, but I can't really say we are friends. To be frank, he has always sort of given me the creeps. There is almost something perverted about him hidden under that keen charm.
"Party too hard, Carlie?" He smiles, sitting down in the chair next to me like we're old pals.
"A little." I laugh, trying to ease my tension.
"You look really amazing." He tells me sincerely.
"Thanks." A pastel blush covers my ivory cheeks and I fidget with the hem of my dress.
"I'm really sorry about Alec breaking up with you." He says, though he doesn't seem too sorry at all. Not that I mind, I don't expect really anyone to care about it because it's my problem, not the world's. It's kind of him to show the courtesy though.
"It was hard." I say quietly, staring up at the stars dotting the dark sky.
"Can you see Saturn?" Trey asks me, standing up and walking forward to get a better view. I stand with him, my heels clanking on the concrete and then smushing into the grass and soil as I stand by his side.
"Where?" I search the sky. I've never been an astronomy person, or cosmology or whatever. I have a hard time figuring out where the big dipper is, much less a planet.
"Right there. The really bright one." Trey points up to the sky, wrapping the arm nearest me around my waist and pulling me closer to him to see it from his angle. He doesn't let his hand drop.
"Oh! I see." I smile, staring up at the one speck of light that shines brighter than all the rest and thinking of Alec, how he outshines everyone else to me.
Trey's hand on my waist suddenly slips down to my ass. I freeze, thinking his hand really had slipped and he would apologize at any second now and then awkwardly excuse himself. But as his hand squeezes gently, I squeak and pull out of his arms.
"What are you doing?" I demand, eyes wide.
"Shh. It's okay. I'm okay." Trey slowly steps towards me, talking as if I'm some kind of animal he is trying to capture.
"Trey, you're Alec's friend. I really don't think it's appro-" I am cut off as a pair of unfamiliar lips meet my own. My body and mind rejects the foreigner, demanding Alec. I stand there, entire body rigid, lips unmoving, in complete shock. Trey's breath is hot and his hands begin to grope me.
"Get off!" I push him away, much too forcefully, and he stumbles back.
"Why? What is it that Alec's got that I don't? I'm stronger, faster,older, more experienced, and richer." Trey demands, and I begin to wonder if he really is just a weird-o creep or if the smoke that I had smelled clinging to his clothes isn't just a result of being around it, maybe he actually smoked it.
"None of that matters to me. At all. Alec has everything you don't, and until you realize what those things are, have fun losing more girls to him and guys like him." I glare up at him. He glares back at me, and I decide he really isn't in his right mind. He is baked.
And then those grimy lips come to mine again. I struggle to get him off while not throwing off appearances. He is grabbing at me, nearly pulling my dress entirely off, and just as I'm about to say screw it and throw the big lug across the yard and hope he breaks his leg or something, the back door swings open. And you'll never guess who walks out.
Seriously, you won't. Probably thinking Alec, right? Ha, as if I'm that lucky. No, the person who walks out has a nasty sneer and a few pieces of fabric covering her up that she is trying to pass off as a dress.
Trey and I have paused in our wrestling match, looking up at Kayla standing in the doorway, back grounded by the darkness of inside the house while the porch light is making her glow and look like some kind of angel from Hell.
"I think it's time for you to get back inside, Trey." She says, putting one hand on her hip and looking at him with just the right amount of bitchiness and forcefulness, and a whole lot of I-can-ruin-your-life-ness. Trey contemplates, his mind a fog from the toxins he has inhaled, and then reluctantly leaves me and heads for the inside. Kayla closes the door behind him, leaving the two of us alone outside.
Kayla scares me. She is at least an inch shorter than me, a million times less strong and fast, a much weaker species than I am, and still, I am terrified of her.
An owl hoots in the trees. The night is quiet. We stare at each other from a good distance apart until I decide to make the first move. I smooth my dress and pull it down as far as it'll go. I move from the grass onto the patio to get my heels out from where they are digging ruts into the grass.
"What do you want, Kayla?" I ask her, trying to seem braver than I am. By the look on her face, my attempt didn't go far. She walks towards me, stopping about five feet away. She looks me up and down as if she is sizing me up.
"Alec." She tells me simply, one tweezed brow raising in challenge.
"Alec would never be interested in someone like you." I tell her, arms crossing.
"You're in love with him." She observes, a smile slowly spreading across her face. It's the first time anyone has ever accused me of being in love with Alec. I'm a little taken aback.
"My feelings aren't any of your concern." I lock my jaw and keep myself professional and above her. She snorts at my behavior, but then gets down to business, her expression serious.
"It's time to move on, Carlie. Seriously, it's over. Alec is done with you. No happily ever after for the little princess. He wasn't even that interested while you two were still together. Ever tell you about how he kissed me at his birthday party? Probably not. He only asked you to be his girlfriend that night because I rejected him and he wanted to make me jealous. I've realized how good he is now, though, and it would be in your best interest to believe me when I say I get what I want no matter what. So stay the fuck out of my way. Go home and cry to your family of circus freaks, and then do everyone a favor and get the hell out of Hoquiam. No one wants you here anyways." She glares at me viciously, her words a quiet hiss, streaming from her mouth so quickly I almost wonder if I would have understood it if I was human. I wish I hadn't understood it.
Red hot anger splinters down my spine and spreads into my bloodstream. My heart speeds up, pounding fast like a tribal drum. My vision tints red.
"Liar." I growl at her.
"Don't believe me? You could ask him yourself. We could all have a little rendezvous right now! I'll just go get him." She smiles wickedly, turning to leave. The thought of that is almost unbearable. Dealing with the two people that mess with my head more than anyone in the world at the same time? Not now.
My hand snaps out and grabs her wrist, holding her back. Her head turns over her shoulder, looking down at my fingers encircling her wrist with dismay.
"Keep your hands the fuck off me." She hisses, turning sharply and hooking my face with her fist. It was so unexpected I hadn't even caught it. It didn't hurt, just shocked me. She waited, judging my reaction, and seemed a little disappointed that no blood had been drawn.
Me, I'm even more pissed that she dared to hit me. I hiss at her and bare my teeth, suddenly wanting nothing more than to rip her to shreds. I pull my fist back and slam it into her face. It hits her nose straight on with a sickening crack as she shrieks. Blood begins to spurt out.
"Stay away from Alec, bitch." I growl. I take in another breath of air and the scent of her blood hits me. It's mouthwatering. Delicious. I lick my lips, deciding that if there has ever been a human worth killing, it would be Kayla. I smile in preparation for my meal, and then hunch down and get ready to lunge.
Suddenly the back door opens. And at the one time I want Alec to stay away, there he is, eyes wide and panicked as if he already knew what was going on.
"Stop!" He shouts, dashing over to me. He wraps his arms around me, trying to tug me away. His feeble mortal arms battle against my immortal strength. But then, I realize something. Alec has his arms around me. That dearly missed electricity is spreading throughout me.
I melt into the embrace, catching him off guard. He stumbles as he supports a good portion of my weight. My legs numbly walk with him through the house, my mind a blur, hardly noticing all the stares. He gently coaxes me up the stairs and then, after finding all the rooms occupied, resorts to the linen closet like I had.
I tumble into the heap of blankets. I suddenly register what just happened. I made up my mind to kill Kayla, and I would have if Alec hadn't been there to stop me. My vampire instincts are getting the best of me. I begin to cry, feeling I have no control over myself.
"Carlie, come on, you're okay." Alec pats me awkwardly in a friendly gesture. The fact he called me Carlie this time makes me cry harder. I've been crying way too much lately. After a moment, I feel the familiarity of Alec's arms wrap around me. He pulls me to his chest, holding me and shushing me softly. "It's okay, Nes. It's okay. We'll get through this." He murmurs, and suddenly the tears stop. He called me Nes. Referred to this as a "we" situation. The unexpected hope is overwhelming.
I stare up at him for a long time. Finally he speaks, "I made a mistake breaking up with you. The biggest mistake of my life. I started regretting it the second I shut the door that night. I need you. You have no idea how badly I need you. And if I can't have you forever, then I sure as hell don't want to waste a moment of the time that I can have you."
It takes a moment for the full meaning of the words to hit me. And then, it's like nothing ever happened. It's like he never broke up with me, none of Kayla's words were ever said, and nothing bad in the world has ever occurred. Everything is perfect.
I lean up and kiss him just like I have a zillion times. A sweet, gentle kiss that symbolizes our reconnection. He kisses me back softly, and then pulls away.
"Come on, babe, let's go home." He smiles loftily, just like he always has, and I know that we are going to be okay. I smile too, kissing him again. He kisses me back for about five seconds, smiling as he pulls away. Until he sees my dress, seeming to register it for the first time.
"This," He waves his hand over my dress, "is completely okay for being in a small closet with me. But as for putting it on display for the rest of the world..." He frowns. "Don't you have some actual clothes you could put on?"
"Yeah, but they're in Brooke's room, and I'm pretty sure it's a little occupied right now." I tell him, already standing (though I have to duck so my head doesn't hit the ceiling) and opening the door. I walk out, taking in a breath of fresh air, not too happy about that though because it lacks Alec's scent that was saturated throughout that closet by now.
"Well I know Edward would never let you leave the house like this, and so I'm going to assume coming back into the house like this isn't much better." Alec reminds me that my ticket to going home lies in Brooke's room.
"There is no way I'm going in there." I cross my arms, hearing sounds of intimacy behind the closed door but not knowing if it is still Brooke and Cameron or another couple entirely.
"Fine.. We'll take your car to my house since i rode here with Drew." Alec says, not much elaborating on why we are going to his house, taking my hand as we walk downstairs. It's been a while since his fingers have laced through mine in that perfect fit, and it feels so amazingly right.
People gawk as we try to quickly slip out the front door, and I seem to notice more than him, my face burning slightly under all that attention. Alec either pretends not to notice, or he somehow really doesn't notice.
We walk out the front door, the party noises turning into a dull hum as the door closes. The night is warm and quiet, my clanking heels and his soft footsteps the only sound other than both of our hearts pounding rapidly.
"I.. I'm really sorry for not telling you everything I should have." I tell him quietly as we head for my car.
"You were only trying to protect me. I wish I could have seen that two weeks ago." He says just as quietly.
"I'm your girlfriend, not your mother. I should have prepared you for every aspect of being in a relationship with my kind as soon as I realized how serious things were getting." I bite my lip guiltily.
"A little heads up might have been nice, but it doesn't matter. Nothing you have ever told me about your kind or your world has ever changed the way I feel about you, not even knowing there is an hourglass ticking down our relationship." I don't think he meant to say that last part, it just slipped out along with a heap of pain in his voice and on his face. I slide into the driver's seat, feeling immensely guilty, as he slides into the passenger's seat.
"I have time, Alec. Longer than you probably think. And I would stay even after I turn if it wasn't a risk to you and everyone else. I won't be myself for a while, maybe even years. I just.. I would.. I could never live with myself if anything ever happened to you." I subtly hint that I would be in extreme danger of killing him.
"I know. And even though I hate that you have to go, I understand why. But couldn't you come back after a few years?" He asks with a plea in his voice as I drive the short distance to his house. Alec and Brooke live in the same neighborhood.
"You are human, Alec. You are meant for a human life. Not a life filled with expectations of your vampire ex girlfriend returning to you someday. You are going to get married and have children and forget about me." I assure him, pained by just the thought of myself slipping from Alec's mind to be replaced with another girl.
"I will never forget you. That I can swear to. Never. And I need to know that someday after you leave I'll see you again. Promise me you will. Please." He begs me. I have parked in his driveway by now, the car off. I stare at him over the middle console.
"If you really want it, then I promise at some point I will come back to visit you." I tell him, knowing that one isn't going to be hard to keep. I'll be begging my family to let me go back the day we leave.
"Good. Now let's go inside, I'll give you some sweats and stuff and then we can watch a movie until you have to go home." He gets out and I follow him inside, taking in the familiar views happily. Arianna is still awake, watching Tv in the living room, waiting up for Alec. I am embarrassed to be in this dress in front of her, but she doesn't seem to even take notice.
"Carlie dear! Oh, it's so good to see your face around here again!" Arianna says in hushed excitement since I'm assuming Alissia is asleep. She stands and hugs me.
"It's great to see you, Arianna." I tell her, hugging her back softly.
"When Alec told me you and him broke up... Oh, all I could think is he is such an idiota!" She moves her hands around. Idiota, that one isn't hard to figure out.
"The break up really was all my fault." I laugh. "But things are better now, and I'm glad."
"Me too, mia figlia. Me too." She smile lovingly at me. Mia figlia is her pet name for me and it means my daughter.
"We're going to go watch a movie, Mom." Alec tells her from the landing of the stairs.
"Alright, I'm going to bed. You two don't stay up too late. And for Heaven's sake, Alexander, get some clothes on the girl, she isn't some kind of personal sex Barbie." Arianna says in exasperation as she leaves the room, speaking as if it is all Alec's fault that I am dressed like a skank while puling "sex Barbie" out of no where and making me laugh.
"I'm on it, Mom." Alec rolls his green eyes and then heads up the stairs and I follow suit. He digs through the drawers of his dresser.
"Now that we aren't around so many other guys, I'm thinking I like you in that much better than I would like you in my Red Socks sweatshirt." Alec muses as he yanks a faded red sweatshirt from the drawer and tosses it on his bed.
"Too bad." I roll my eyes, and then grab the hem of my dress and pull the whole thing off my head at speed too fast for him to see. One moment I'm standing there clothed (though barely) and the next I'm in the middle of his room wearing a black g-string and a strapless black bra.
He stares at me, blatantly soaking in every feature of my body. "Are you trying to tempt me to do something we would both probably regret in the morning?" He asks, actually looking like my being almost naked in front of him is painful. And that gets me to wondering a question I hadn't really even thought about before now: am I going to lose my virginity to Alec?
If I had to choose anyone to lose it to, it would be him. I trust him so completely, and he has handled things about me so well. But certainly not yet. When the time is right, I guess I'll just know.
"No.. I just thought you wouldn't mind, you know since you've seen me without a shirt on a few times and all.. I'm sorry, won't happen again." At record speed I grab the sweatshirt and pull it on. Since Alec and I are about the same height, it is baggy but not too long. It just barely covers up all that needs to be covered.
Alec groans as he watches me cover myself up. I stare at him in puzzlement. "Didn't you just tell me to put some clothes on?" I ask him.
"Not exactly.." He grins.
"Let's just watch the movie. Try to behave yourself." I smile, walking over and kissing him.
"Easier said than done." He murmurs around my lips while grabbing my ass. Just to be a show off, I pull my self free of his grip, grab him, flip him around my body, and finish with him in a headlock in under two seconds. The air gets knocked out of him and he looks petrified.
"Try." I whisper in his ear, and then let him go. He hardly regains his balance instead of toppling to the ground. He stares at me a second in something close to fear, and my stomach fills with dread as I begin to wonder if I took things too far and now he is scared.
"You're the hottest thing to have ever existed." He smiles breathlessly, staring at me in awe. I blush, my dread disappearing as I suddenly realize he is past it. He isn't scared anymore. He isn't creeped out. He has accepted immortality, and he has accepted me.
A/N: Well, I'm going to have a bunch of disappointed readers, I assume. I'm so sorry! I know people were wanting a longer, more dramatic break-up and even the Volturi involvement, but it's just not where I'm going with the story just yet. I have a plan, believe me. And I just thought that a break up would be realistic, but a super long one wouldn't considering they normally can hardly go a day without each other and they're both young and naive. More drama coming up, as you might be able to deduce from a bit of foreshadowing done in this chapter. Stay with me!
xoxo -JCBMA-