I lounge on the sofa in my room, looking out my window. It's summer, two months after the incident at the bluffs with Alec. I am very ashamed to say that such a hazardous experience has occurred again. I just can't resist him. It's only happened twice more, and I have never bit him again. The most recent time was last week when I slipped out to see him at around midnight while my parents were "preoccupied" (yeah, I always have to hear when my parents are having sex, gross right?) and Arianna was staying overnight at the hospital with Alissia.
The sunlight streams down into my room, bouncing off my skin radiantly. I've been sitting here in the same position for an hour after sleeping nearly 13 hours the previous night. I'm still exhausted for unknown reasons.
I've been sitting here contemplating things. Mostly thinking of Brooke. Brooke is pregnant. It's heart-breaking. She is only just turning sixteen and she already has a child developing inside her. She has been the talk of everyone in town and even been shunned by many. Cameron has accepted the news and even vowed to father the child and stay with her, but I have a feeling he's going to get cold feet as the pregnancy goes on.
I've tried to help her through it. She says without me, she wouldn't know what to do. She has moved into her own apartment since her parents have shunned her, and I help her pay rent. I've even got a bank account set up specifically for the baby. She has already told me she is naming me the godmother. I feel so bad for her..
I sigh and heave out of the chair, throwing on some summer-time clothing and heading downstairs.
"Going to see Alec." I call to my parents as I head into the garage, getting in my car and driving away. I've been feeling a little sick all morning, nausea and a headache, and I know being around Alec will cause it to disappear.
I pull up to Mickie's, the ice cream parlor Alec works at. I walk in, the bell on the door dinging, and sit at one of the swivelly red barstools, my elbows resting against the cool white-tiled counter. The place has a few people here and there but isn't packed like I know it will be as the mild June sun turns into an unbearable July one.
Alec comes around from the back wearing an ice-cream stained white shirt with a neon-blue apron tied around his waist, looking absolutely adorable. He smiles when he sees me and leans across the counter, giving me a peck on the lips.
"You're earlier than usual." He points out.
"I know. I was going to go hunting, but I felt a bit queasy. I thought you could fix me right up." I smile. I already feel a million times better.
"I think a little ice cream on the house could make you feel good as new." He smiles, turning his back to me and beginning to prepare an ice cream sundae, knowing just the way I like it. Two scoops, plenty of fudge, heavy on the nuts, easy on the caramel.
"You're not buying me another one. Here." I push forward a twenty.
"Nope." He pushes it back and pushes my ice cream towards me, sticking a little silver spoon in it. I roll my eyes and take the money back, shoving it in my bag. I grab the spoon, preparing to dig in though still a bit full from the omelet Esme made me this morning.
As I stare into the swirls of dark brown, light brown, and ivory, I suddenly feel very nauseous. A second later and I had my self turned around and began puking up my breakfast all over the freshly-mopped floor.
Bystanders watched and Alec leaped into action, sliding over the counter and holding my hair back for me.
I cough and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand as I sit up, heaving and trying to breathe. "Rolinda, we have a situation!" Alec calls back to his co-worker. An older women with worn tan skin comes out, takes one look at the mess, sighs, and retrieves a bucket and mop.
"I'll clean it up." I offer as Alec slides a glass of water towards me. I gulp it down, washing the vile taste out of my mouth. I grab my pack of gum out of my bag and shove a piece in my mouth, only chewing it for a second to replace the taste with mintiness before swallowing.
"You're sick. Come on, I'm taking you home." He slides back over the counter, coaxing me out of the chair.
"It's okay, I feel much better now." I tell him as he opens the door for me, causing the bell to ding.
"Well you at least need some fresh air." He steers me away from the car and begins walking me on the sidewalk that twists around the building. Once we are on the side of Mickie's, he walks me across the parking lot and down a gently sloping hill until we are at a nearly-desolate old park.
He guides me towards a huge, looming willow tree. The long, hanging strands of leaves tickle my face as we walk through them. He sits down at the base of the trunk and I lay down with my head on his lap.
"I didn't know hybrids could get sick." He says in confusion.
"We can, it's just much less often than humans." I explain. I've only been sick once before in my entire life. And I just had a cough. This is sicker than I've ever felt.
"Are you sure Carlisle doesn't need to see you?"
"Positive. I already feel better, just a little headache." I assure him, looking up into his eyes with a smile. He smiles back down at me for a moment, and then his smile begins to slip. He stares at me, eyes wide and horrified, face becoming impossibly pale. "What is it? What's wrong?" I ask him, sitting up.
"Your.. Your eyes.." He gulps, a shaking finger poiting towards my eyes. I hadn't even bothered to look in a mirror today, and I have no idea what he is talking about. I hurriedly dig through my bag and pull out a small compact that doesn't get much use. I flip it open and stare at my reflection.
A sickened feeling settles over me. My face loses color just like his had. Staring back at me in the mirror are a pair of brown irises that have red seeped around the fringes. The mirror slips from my hand.
"What's going on, Renesmee?" Alec asks. I don't answer, just stare. This can't be happening. No, it can't be. I thought I had at least a year, maybe even two. My silence further frightens Alec. "Talk to me, Nes. Talk! You're scaring me!" He begs, grabbing me by my shoulders and forcing me to look at him.
I soak in every feature. His long, thick black hair that sweeps across his forehead. His smooth, soft skin that has just a hint of a tan. His full, pink lips that mold against mine so perfectly. His long, muscular figure that has held me in a way no one ever has before. His scorching eyes that have every shade of green swirled in them and can read me with just a glance.
"I love you." I whisper, tears brimming in my eyes. I lean forward and press my lips to his, twining my fingers into the soft black strands of his hair. He kisses me back passionately, responding to my hunger. I don't even register the thirst. It's all but disappeared by now. I hold him tightly, never wanting to let go. I pull back to allow him air, but still cling to him, hugging him, breathing in his honeysuckle scent with a tinge of Old Spice, feeling his soft skin against mine.
"I love you too." He tells me, staring into my red-edged eyes. A tear slips down my cheek, which he wipes away quickly, not sure why I'm even crying.
"I'm so sorry." I tell him, and then pull myself away and take off running.
I run at a human pace, though a very fast human. I have a head start on him as he chases after me calling out, "Nes, wait! Stop! Come back!"
As I reach the woods, I take off with vampire speed, leaving his desperate cries and my own heart behind me at the edge of the trees. My chest feels empty and wounded.
I run and run, not bothering to go home. I run until I just can't run any longer. I'm probably somewhere deep within Canada by now. I drop to my knees, surrounded by looming trees, and begin to sob. My agonized cries fill the forest. I clutch at my chest, trying to stop the searing hurt.
"Alec!" I scream, trailing off with a wail. Within minutes, a pair of familiar ice-cold arms wrap around me.
"Shh, Nes, shh." Dad soothes, holding me to his chest. I sob into his shirt, clinging to him tightly.
"It's started, Dad." I sob out, incoherent to my own ears, but he understands.
"It'll be okay, baby. We'll get through this. You'll get through this." He comforts, running his hands through my hair. He holds me for a long while until the rest of my family shows up.
We all huddle together, Rose and Mom crying also, everyone else too solemn to say a word. Nobody knows what's next. Nobody knows what to do now.
We've known my whole life I would eventually begin the change into a vampire, and yet it has taken us so completely off guard.