The next day I'm feeding Alexis, her green eyes staring up at me preciously, when I hear someone nearing the house. The smell of honeysuckle hits me, and I freeze up. Alec.
A light knock raps on the door. I hand Alexis off to Emmett- almost wanting to laugh at how tiny she is compared to him- straighten myself up, and open the door. Alec is there, leaves and dirt covering him, his clothing torn, and his eyes dark, the shadows beneath them a heavy purple-black. I stare at him a long time, waiting for him to say something. I'm not going to be the first to and make a complete idiot of myself once again.
"Can we talk privately?" He asks soberly. I think about it for a moment, and then nod, stepping out and shutting the door behind me. My hand itches to grab his, but I resist the compulsive urge.
"Where are we going?" I ask him as he begins to run. He goes slower than I know he could for me, and I push myself so he doesn't have to hold himself back too much.
"Nowhere. Just away." He says. We don't wonder too far from the house, each of us knowing the Volturi are still out there with a bone to pick with the two of us, but far enough so my family can't hear us. Alec leans against a tree trunk coolly, looking like a model on the cover of a magazine. I keep my arms crossed over my chest self consciously. I still feel humiliated over yesterday.
Again, I resolve myself to endure the deafening silence. He brought me here, he is going to be the one to talk. After what feels like an eternity, his rose-red lips begin to move. "I'm sorry, Renesmee. I didn't mean to run out like that yesterday. I was just confused and kind of shocked. It's a lot to take in." He inhales a deep breath, and then lets it out.
"It's fine." I tell him in a cool, distant voice.
"Don't be like that, Nes." He frowns. Both of us pause for a moment. The sentence was so..Alec-y. The upset, slightly lopsided frown, the nickname, the tone. For a moment, I could almost picture him with a hint of a tan and swirling green eyes that twist back into eternity.
"I don't understand. One moment you're running from me like I'm some kind of lunatic because I show my affection, and now you're becoming upset because I act as a stranger would? I don't know what you want of me." I keep up the charade, not once letting emotion slip into my scarlet eyes.
"I can't explain it. I want you to love me because I love you. Kissing you made me feel more whole than I have felt in quite a while. When I look at you, my heart screams at me how much I love you while my head tries and fails to remember you. All I have are a few seconds here and a few seconds there of pieces of blurry human memories. Can't you try to realize how confused I am?" He pleas, looking honestly tormented.
I sigh, the facade breaking into pieces. "I'm trying. But you try to realize how confusing it is for me. I leave you, human and completely in love with me, find out I'm carrying our child, finally get you back expecting a fairytale-like reunion and happily ever after, and come to find out you don't even remember me."
"I want to remember it all. Believe me, I do. I want the memories back. And when I read your journal, pictures show up in my head. I get some of them back. And I see the pictures of us, and I can see the times around it, what we were doing, who we were with. My memory is there, just locked away. And I'm desperately searching for a way to reach it." He grabs my hand, holding it with both of his against his chest. I almost expect to feel his heart beating rapidly like it always used to, and the absence of that quick little pulse is upsetting.
I think over his words for a moment, and then get an idea. "I want to try something. Can I do that?" I ask him as if I'm speaking to a frightened child. He nods warily. I slowly reach my hand up, giving him time to watch me, until my palm touches his wintry cheek.
I pour images into his head. They're seen from my point of view, but hopefully just having them there, in his memory, will somehow trigger the other memories stored away in the back.
I show him everything I can remember of us, even the smallest conversations. I summarize nearly ten months in several minutes. When I'm done, I pull my hand back and give him a moment. His eyes are glazed over and he looks like he is off in some other dimension.
"Alec? Are you okay?" I ask in a gentle voice. He nods very slowly.
"I can remember. Not everything, but more. A lot more." He says in a monotone, as if he is too shocked to feel anything.
"What does that mean?" I wonder quietly, unsure that knowing more makes him want to stay or scares him more.
"I think I can do this. I want to stay and I want to be there for our daughter. I want to fall in love with you, the real you, not just the memory of you, all over again." He tells me with that radiant smile of his.
Overcome with excitement, I throw myself at him, my lips meeting him with passionate urgency. He is frozen in shock for a moment, and then recovers and begins to kiss me back. I feel his hands tangle into my hair. My hands hold on to the sides of his face, trying to grow used to the chill of his marble-like skin. The icy-hot feeling of his lips against mine is so right. So perfect.
I pull back, but don't let go of him. He seems a bit stunned and I realize a little too late that it's going to take some time for him to get used to a girl he feels like he hardly actually knows kissing him with such adoration and affection. Oh, well. We have eternity.
"Can we go home now? I'd really like a chance to introduce myself to my daughter." He smiles nervously. I nod, grabbing his hand encouragingly, and together we run back to the house. We all but break down the door in our haste.
Alexis is on Esme's lap, jabbering on, and Esme is nodding along as if the child is actually speaking a language she understands. I smile at it all.
"Esme, would you mind if we stole her from you?" I smile sweetly, crossing the room.
"Not at all, darling." Esme hands Alexis, who definitely does not seem like only a few days old, over to me and disappears into the kitchen. I retreat back to Alec with her in my arms.
With just a slight hesitation, he carefully takes her in his arms, being oh so gentle. He runs one finger along her curly black hair and down her profile. Alexis says something in jibberish to Alec, and he nods and smiles.
"My name is Alec. I'm your father." He tells her quietly. I watch him sit down on the couch with her nestled perfectly in his arms and chat away with her. I begin to think of what's next.
I have my family all together now. That makes me as happy as anyone on the planet could possibly be. But even with Mom's shield protecting us and Alice always on the look-out, the Volturi are still a threat. We all can't always be together, and we aren't going to stay cooped up in this house in Rio. The Volturi are probably angrier than ever, and they want all of us dead. No mercy-pleas.
But even with my changing species, the fact that Alec is currently a human-drinker, Alexis's unknown future, Alec's memory-loss, my family in constant danger, and the Volturi seeking revenge, I can't help but still feel overwhelmingly joyous. Life as a Cullen might be one hell of a mess, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
THE END
It's over! Tear.. I loved writing it, and hope whoever reads this enjoyed it also. I've done two Reneslec stories in a row now, and I think I'm going to do an Alec/OC now. I had a story called Shades of Red that got wiped from my computer, and I think I'm going to re-write it differently. Maybe about Alec and a wolf-girl falling in love. Don't hold me to it, though!
Tell me what you thought of the story!